Más allá de la tristeza y el dolor…

La vida está compuesta de altas y bajas, de justicia e injusticia, de momentos hermosos que quisiéramos parar el tiempo para que ese momento dure y de momentos que sentimos que el mundo se nos cae encima. Así es la vida y me he dado cuenta de que la vida no se trata de que todo sea perfecto ni de no sufrir. Mas bien, se trata de cómo podemos disfrutar de cada momento y de aprender de las experiencias amargas. Parte de la vida es crecer como persona en cada aspecto y no dejarse derrumbar por las dificultades. Se trata de permitir que cada dolor lo ayude a ser una mejor versión de si mismo. De cada persona, ya sea alguien que lo quiere o que le ha hecho daño, uno aprende de esa persona a ser mejor, no peor. Es mas, lo peor que uno puede hacerse a si mismo cuando alguien nos ha hecho daño es dejarse derrumbar o acomplejar. Es una de las injusticias más grande que uno se puede hacer a si mismo. Cada experiencia amarga o persona que nos hace daño es una oportunidad de credimiento y mejoría. ¿Sabía usted que las perlas vienen de las ostras? Las ostras para sobrevivir, tienen que mantener su concha abierta, a pesar de que se expone a cosas que lo puede irritar. Algo que irrita mucho a una ostra es la arena. Para lidiar con esa arena que lo irrita tanto, la ostra crea una especie de capa protectora lo cual forma una perla. Como puede ver, si no hubiese sido por esa arena que tanto lo irrita, la ostra no hubiera hecho algo tán hermoso como una perla.

Tenemos mucho que aprender de la naturaleza. Tenemos que ser como la ostra, abiertos y cuando algo nos duele o nos irrita, haz de eso una cosa hermosa. La vida es preciosa, la vida es mágica, la vida es lo que usted quere que sea. Uno tiene que aprender a vivir y apreciar este mismo momento e ir más allá de el dolor y la tristeza. Sólo así logramos vivir una vida plena y al máximo. Lo desafio a usted a ir más allá de su dolor y su tristeza. ¿Qué va hacer en este momento para vivir la vida al máximo?

Are You In A Toxic Relationship? This Can Be One Factor Hurting Your Wellbeing

Even though I am big on eating healthy and exercising, these are not the only things that contribute to our overall wellbeing. Yes, eating right and exercising are part of what makes us balanced in life, however, there are other factors that one must also consider when looking into their wellbeing. One of them is looking at the relationships that you have and when I say relationships, I’m not only referring to the romantic relationships, I mean all relationships, including family members and friends.

If you are in a toxic relationship, my suggestion is to reevaluate that relationship and consider if it is worth having that person in your life. How do you know whether or not a relationship is toxic for you? You need to notice how that person makes you feel as a human being. Ask yourself these questions when you are questioning whether or not you are in a toxic relationship: Does this person belittle you? Do you feel safe with this person? (When I say safe, I’m not necessarily referring to feeling physically safe. I mean if you feel safe being who you are and if you can express your emotions with that person without feeling that you will be reprimanded). Does this person make you feel good about who you are? These are just some of the questions to consider whenever you are in a relationship with anyone.

How does our relationships with others affect our wellbeing? By nature we are social beings. We all have basic needs that goes beyond the need for food and shelter. We have a need for love and to be needed. When these needs are not met, they can create havoc on our self-concept and self-esteem which trickles down to other aspects of our lives affecting our wellbeing. When we don’t feel loved or needed, we may not feel worthy so we are most likely to engage in things that are harmful to us. Things that are harmful for us can go from the very extreme such as using drugs or cutting, to the things that may not seem to be extreme but are just as harmful like overeating or smoking too much. This is why I advocate paying attention to the things that you do and why you are doing it. Understanding the reason why you do the things that you do will provide great insight about your mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

One of the keys to wellbeing is being mindful at all times. Being mindful of what you eat, being mindful of how things make you feel and this includes being mindful of the relationships you have in your life. Just like eating and exercise affects every aspect of your body, so do the relationships that you have affect every aspect of your body and life. When we are in a toxic relationship where we are constantly fed negative messages of ourselves, we start to break down in every way. We don’t necessarily realize it at first but the way we view ourselves starts to change and not for good. This then affects our self-esteem. When our self-esteem is affected in a negative way, this affects everything in our life from our eating habits to other relationships that we have. I know that when I don’t feel good, I crave foods that are not necessarily healthy for me.

Now, like always, I would like to make some clarifications. A good friend or family member who loves you may tell you something that may “hurt” you but it hurts because they are telling you the truth that you may not necessarily want to hear. This does NOT constitute a toxic relationship. A toxic relationship is a relationship that is obviously bad for your wellbeing because it is not contributing to your life in a positive way. If you are truly honest with yourself as to how your relationships affect you, you will know which ones are toxic. The way to truly know is by listening to how someone makes you feel and to your gut instinct. Only you truly know and it is up to you to decide what to do with that relationship. However, I believe that a toxic relationship has no place in our lives.

Make it a habit to cultivate those positive relationships that you have and do away with any relationship that isn’t contributing to your growth and wellbeing. Life is too great to be around people who just makes us feel bad.

El comer saludable no quiere decir el dejar sus raíces

Cuando a uno nos habla de que uno tiene que cambiar su dieta y comer más saludable, muchas veces uno puede creer que uno tiene que dejar sus raíces para comer mejor pero no es así. Sí es posible comer todo lo que a uno le gusta pero cambiar la version de cómo se prepara la comida (si es que esto es possible) o cambiar algunos ingredients en su versión más saludable. Por ejemplo, a mi todavía me gusta arroz con gandules pero en vez de comer arroz blanco, como el arroz integral, que es más saludable. Otra sugerencia, en vez de freír algo, lo meto al horno.

Soy creyente que uno tiene que retener sus raíces ya que nuestra cultura forma parte de uno pero adoptar maneras que contribuya a nuestro bienestar y salud.  El comer todos los días cosas fritas no está bien ya que esto con el tiempo tiene consecuencias graves para nuestra salud. El comer todos los días alimentos que suben rapidamente el nivel de glucosa en la sangre no está bien ya que esto pone al cuerpo a trabajar demasiado para lograr estabilidad en el cuerpo. Estoy en favor en todos los días celebrar nuestras raíces pero no a costa de nuestra salud. Es por nuestros hábitos alimentícios que uno hereda que nosotros somos más propensos a sufrir de diabetes, alta presión, etc.

Por lo tanto, haz siempre su meta de ser quien usted es sin descuidar de su salud. Recuerde que sin su salud, realmente no tiene nada.

Happiness Depends On You, Not Anyone Else

A lot of times we look outside of us for what we should be looking within us. I know that I have done that for so long and felt lost. We also look outside of us for the happiness we so long for when that happiness doesn’t depend on anyone else but us. We are the only ones who can make us happy. Yes, others contribute to our life but in the end, it is us who are responsible for our own happiness and wellbeing.

The moment we place that responsibility on our own hands is when our life starts to shift. We no longer depend on others to make us happy rather we rely on ourselves for answers. And indeed it is only us who have the answers to all our questions.

When you look outside of yourself for your happiness, you become a slave of others. You are not completely free because you will always be chasing and looking for other things for that that you think will bring you happiness. When you look outside of yourself for that happiness, that happiness will only be temporary. Back in 2010, others wouldn’t notice but my close friends knew, I spent and spent money shopping in order to fill a void. The problem was that when I did this, my void was only filled temporarily. I needed to go out and shop some more in order to be “happy” again. I ended up owing more than, (much more but don’t want to say exactly), $3, 000 to the credit card company and I don’t have anything to show for all that I spent. I have no idea where that money went! In the end, I was owing money, I still wasn’t happy and I had to learn to deal with what was really hindering me from being happy. What I had failed to do all this time was look inside of me for that happiness that I was longing.

Now, when you look inside of you and depend on you for that happiness you want and need, you will find that you possess everything to be happy. You don’t depend on no man or woman, circumstance or object to be happy. You will find yourself being liberated because you will rely more on you. You will grow in confidence knowing that you possess everything you need. You will slowly learn to rely on yourself more and as a result, you will be more attractive as a person because of this. Think about it. Someone who relies on someone else to be happy is not an attractive quality. That actually repels people and good things away from you!

I can tell you from personal experience that when I started looking within me for happiness, I started to realize how fabulous I am as a person and woman. This resulted in me gaining more confidence in myself which then made me rely more on myself, which made the true me shine through. Because we are all energy, people can see and sense that.

Next time you feel tempted to look outside of you for happiness, remember, that happiness that you are looking for you already have it within you!

It’s Ok and Important to Relax

We live nowadays in a “go, go, go” society and one that expects so much from us. In a world where so much is expected from us and where there is so much to do, it is very important and necessary to relax.

Yes, it’s ok to relax and it’s important to relax. It doesn’t make you a lazy person, don’t think you will get bored if you just relax. Relaxing gives your body a moment to recuperate, to gather strength, your mind has a moment to process all the information and messages that it receives during the day. Relaxing allows you to be present, mindful of what is going on around you and it helps center you which is so important in order for you to feel peace and at ease.

Being always on the go, go, go places stress on the body and having that kind of stress on the body on a daily basis, with time, leads to lifestyle diseases such as high blood pressure, heart disease and so on. Any spare moment that you can take to relax, even if it is five minutes, do so. Not doing this is doing such a disservice to your body. Your mind and body works very hard everyday so it deserves that break! Just like you would care for your child or a loved one, you need to care for your body and this is one way.

“What are some ways that I can relax?” you might ask. There are different ways, it’s just a matter of finding what works for you. If you feel the stress on a certain part of your body, stop for a moment and take five deep breathes. If nature relaxes you, whenever you can, take a moment to walk in the park or beach and if this isn’t possible, imagine and picture for about five minutes a place that brings you  joy. If you’re at home and can take a little nap, do so, but not for more than 30 minutes (I will discuss why at another time). For me, reading a good book relaxes me. Find whatever it is that works for you and apply it.

In this kind of society it is becoming crucial to relax. Our body is not an electrical machine and even machines break down from time to time. With this said, if you want to be more energetic, if you want to feel more positive, if you want to be more productive, RELAX! Your body and your mind deserves it.