It’s Important to Grow Some Balls

In today’s post, I’m changing the meaning of growing balls. When reading “growing balls” one may think of courage but this is not what I’m referring to. “Growing balls” means to toughen up, to be an adult and to be mature.

I will start off this post by sharing that about a week ago, I just had to confront someone, and I have to admit it was not pretty, that just pissed off both someone else and I. This person who I will call Jane, had an attitude with us and just seemed off. At one point, I had enough of her that I had to call her off and I asked her in a tone that was not very nice “What is wrong with you?!”. Jane proceeded to continue to get on our nerves and then broke down with someone else and expressed how she was very sad because her boyfriend broke up with her. That person that she confided with came up to me and said how she is crying and is sad because her boyfriend broke up with her and I expressed how I didn’t give a damn what is going on with her. I stated how she needs to grow some freaking balls because it is no one’s fault that her boyfriend broke up with her. Now you can see where this title comes from.

The reason why I honestly didn’t care and had to express that she needs to grow some balls is because it is important to remember that EVERYONE, not just you, has a story, a baggage, a load that they are carrying. It is NOT other people’s fault what happens in your life and it is certainly not fair to take out on others the hurt that you feel. Little did Jane knew that on that same day it was a month since my dad’s passing and that the other person who she pissed off his father is very ill. Jane had no right having an attitude with us because if that’s the case, then I too have a “right” to have an attitude with others because my dad passed away. The other person too had a “right” to have an attitude with others because his dad is very ill. I hope you can understand why it is wrong to take out on others your frustration and sadness.

Doing so makes people become distant from you. I’m pretty sure it is not your intention to push people away but you do so if you take your frustration and sadness out on others. It makes others resentful of you and besides, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be thought of as someone who is not nice to be around.

So what is the solution when you feel so much sadness, frustration or even anger? It is not the easiest solution but it is a must and it is to grow some balls. You need to toughen up in life because life is composed of many aspects that unfortunately includes things that we may not like. Break ups are hard but everyone has gone through some heart break. Death is a part of life because it is the cycle of life. Illness is not easy but it is a must to be able to handle it in the best way possible. It is ok to feel sad, angry and frustrated- you are only human. But it is NOT ok to take out your frustration, anger or sadness on others.

Part of being an adult is being mature. It is a must to not act out or lash out on others. It is a must to take things as being a part of life. It is a must to try to look at the positive of things. It is a must to compartmentalize so that you don’t spill onto other areas of your life your frustration.

If the last two paragraphs don’t motivate you to grow some balls, at least remember that everyone has a baggage that they are carrying as well. Some people are better at hiding their heavy luggage than others and this may be the reason that you may not see the load that they are carrying. It is important to be empathetic because you never know other people’s story. I think if most of us could remember this, this could greatly add to our well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Si usted es una sanguijuela, necesita mucho de usted mismo

Qué título más estraño. Quizás no es un título que usted espera leer cuando se trata de su bienestar pero esta situación del cual voy a escribir puede ser una situación que usted esté pasando porque quizás usted es la sanguijuela o conoce alguien que es como una sanguijuela o conoce alguien que está pasando por esto.

Primero quisiera comenzar por explicar lo que es una sanguijuela si usted todavía no sabe lo que es. Una sanguijuela es un gusano segmentado que chupa sangre. Como usted quizás puede darse cuenta por la descripción, una persona que es una sanguijuela es alguien que básicamente le chupa la vida ya que la sangre se puede considerar la vida del cuerpo. Usualmente para considerar una persona una sanguijuela, esta persona es alguien que le roba la energía a los demás, puede ser que necesite tanta atención, afecto o amor de los demás. Esta persona no necesariamente quiere ser como una “sanguijuela” y chuparle la vida a los demás pero lo hace sin saberlo.

¿Cómo usted puede saber cuando usted está siendo como una sanguijuela? Usted va saber si es sincero consigo mismo y sabe que necesita la aprovación de los demás para sentirse amado. Usted constantemente está buscando a la persona casí de manera sofocante. Usted también sabrá porque o los demás le dicen que usted le está robando su energía o ellos quieren estar lejos de usted. Por favor entienda que no es la responsabilidad de nadia de darle el amor que usted necesita. Esa es SU responsabilidad. Usted es el responsable de crear una vida para usted, de amarse, de cuidar de usted mismo y de hacerse feliz. El darle esta responsabilidad a los demás no es justo para los demás ni para usted mismo y es un peso para los demás.

¿Qué es lo que el ser una sanguijuela le puede mostrar? Esto le ayudará a dar luz de cómo usted se está descuidando. El descuidarse puede llevar al querer apegarse a los demás y el buscar de los demás lo que no se está dando a si mismo. Si usted nota esto en si mismo, pare por un momento y dése a si mismo tiempo solo. Un poco de tiempo solo puede ser bueno ya que es durante estos momentos que usted puede llegar a conocerse mejor. Trate de ver lo que su alma le está tratando de comunicar. Usted se sorprenderá de saber las áreas de su vida y de usted mismo que ha estado ignorando.

Si usted ha sido una sanguijuela y ha sido fastidioso, sepa que muchos han estado en sus zapatos y que usted puede cambiar esto. Usted cambia esto cuidando de si mismo. No hay ningun otro amor como el que usted puede tener por si mismo.

Usted puede leer el blog en su Kindle haciendo clic en la tienda Amazon Kindle en https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 y puede escuchar mis pláticas en la red en http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

If You’re a Leech, You’re In Great Need of Yourself

What an odd title. It’s probably not a title that you expect to read when it comes to your well-being but this situation of which I’m going to write about may be a situation that either you may be going through because perhaps you are the leech or you know someone who is like a leech to you or you know someone who is going through this.

First I would like to explain what a leech is if you don’t already know. A leech is a segmented worm that sucks blood. As you can perhaps tell from this description, a leech is someone who basically sucks the life out of you since blood can be considered the life of the body. Usually to consider someone a leech, this person is one who drains the energy of others, they may be in great need of attention, affection or love from others. This person may not necessarily mean to be a “leech” and suck the life out of others but they do so perhaps unknowingly.

How can you know when you are being a leech? You will know if you are sincere enough with yourself and know that you need other people’s approval in order to feel loved. You are constantly looking for the person almost in a smothering way. You will also know because either others will tell you that you are draining them or they will want to be away from you. Please understand that it is nobody’s responsibility to give you the love that you need. That is YOUR responsibility. You are the one responsible for creating a life for yourself, for loving yourself, for caring about yourself and for making yourself happy. Giving this responsibility to others is not fair for others nor for yourself plus it is a burden for others.

What can being a leech show you? This can help provide you with some insight as to how you are neglecting yourself. Self neglect does lead one to want to latch on to others and get from others what they are not giving to  themselves. If you notice this about yourself, stop yourself for a moment and give yourself some alone time. Don’t be afraid of your alone time. Some alone time can be great since it is during this time that you can get to know yourself better. Try to see what your soul is trying to communicate to you. You will be amazed at the areas of your life and of yourself that you have been ignoring.

If you have been a leech and have been annoying, know that many have been in your shoes and you can reverse that. You reverse that with some self-care. There is no other love like the one that you can have for yourself.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

¡Comience aplicar la mantequilla!

Habrá momentos en donde se sentirá como si usted no puede evitar el sentirse frustrado con las cosas o personas a su alrededor. Habrá momentos en donde mental y emocionalmente se sentirá abrumado. Hay ciertos momentos en la vida en donde se siente difícil el no dejar que las cosas le molesten. Son en momentos como este en donde usted a lo mejor se pregunta “¿cuál es el secreto para que las cosas no le molesten tanto?”. Tengo una respuesta para esto y es algo que me dijo un colega y amigo mio, Henry, varios años atrás y es lo siguiente- comience aplicar la mantequilla!

“¿Comience aplicar la mantequilla?!”, usted talvez se pregunta y dice. Sí, comience aplicar la mantequilla por todo su cuerpo, no físicamente sino mentalmente. Mentalmente usted va imaginarse aplicando la mantequilla por todo su cuerpo de pies a cabeza. La clave es de no permitir que nada se pegue por mucho tiempo. La mantequilla es resbalosa, por lo tanto, aplicando esa mantequilla usted permite que cualquier cosa que se le trate de pegar le resbale de su cuerpo. Usted tiene que asegurarse de aplicar esa mantequilla de pies a cabeza. Claro que usted no se va a poner mantequilla en su cuerpo, es por eso que usted lo hace mentalmente.

Es mejor aplicar esa mantequilla por la mañana para que así usted esté bien armado. Usted quiere asegurarse de comenzar bien su día y es por eso que usted debe de hacer esto por la mañana. Creo que es mejor hacer esto antes de salir de la cama, mentalmente visualízase aplicando esa mantequilla por todo su cuerpo. Lo que usted está haciendo con esto es mentalmente preparándose para que las cosas no le molesten. Recuerde, esto primero comienza en la mente. Su arma más poderosa es su mente y cuando su arma está cargada con afirmaciones y pensamientos positivos, usted puede enfrentar el mundo preparado.

Una mente vulnerable es como una piel con una herida abierta- se hace más propensa a bacterias e infecciones dañinas. Con “bacterias e infecciones dañinas” me refiero a palabras negativas que otros tengan que decir, las actitudes malas que otros tengan que uno toma personal, el drama de los demás, etc. Bacterias e infecciones dañinas, si no se tratan, son mortales para el cuerpo- igualmente las “bacterias e infecciones dañinas” que uno permite en nuestra mente pueden ser mortales, matando nuestra oportunidad de vivir una vida plena.

Cuando escuché esta frase varios años atrás, no pude evitar el gustarme la frase y de aplicarla a mi vida. Ahora yo lo animo a que aplique esta frase a su vida. Levántese todas las mañanas aplicando esa mantequilla para que todo lo que trate de tocarlo pueda resbalar de su cuerpo.

Puede leer el blog en su Kindle haciendo clic en la tienda Amazon Kindle en https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 y puede escuchar mis pláticas en la red en http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Start Applying That Butter!

There are times when it will feel as if you can’t help but get frustrated at everything and everyone around you. There will be times when you will feel mentally and emotionally overwhelmed. There are certain times in life when it feels as if it’s hard not to avoid feeling irritated at things or people. It is times like these that you may wonder “what is the key to not letting things bother you as much?!” There is one answer to this and it’s something that a colleague and a friend of mine, Henry, told me years ago and it’s this- start applying that butter!

“Start applying that butter?!” you may be thinking and saying. Yes, start applying that butter all over your body, not physically but mentally. Mentally you are going to imagine yourself applying butter all over your body from head to toe. The key is to not allow anything to stick to you for too long. Butter is slippery so by applying that butter, you allow anything that tries to touch you to slide right through you. You have to make sure to apply that butter from head to toe. Of course you’re not going to really apply butter on you, that is why you will do this mentally.

It is best to apply the butter first thing in the morning that way you arm yourself. You want to make sure you start your day right so this is why you want to do this in the morning. I think it’s best to do before you get out of bed, just mentally visualize yourself applying butter all over your body. What you are doing with this is mentally preparing yourself to not let things get to you. Remember, this first starts in the mind. Your most powerful weapon is your mind and so when your mind is armed and loaded with powerful affirmations and thoughts, you face the world prepared.

A vulnerable mind is like a skin that has a wide open wound- it makes itself susceptible to harmful bacteria and infections. With “harmful bacteria and infections” I am referring to negative words that others may have, other people’s bad attitudes that we allow ourselves to take personal, other people’s drama and so on. Harmful bacteria and infections, if left untreated, can become deadly for the body- likewise, “harmful bacteria” and “infections” that we allow in our minds can become deadly, killing our chances of living a fulfilled life.

When I heard this phrase several years ago, I couldn’t help but love the phrase and apply it to my life. Now I encourage you to apply this into your life. Wake up every morning applying that butter on you so that anything that tries to touch you can just slide right through you.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Los secretos de la fortaleza y la claridad

La fortaleza y la claridad- dos ingredientes necesarios cuando uno lidia con momentos difíciles. La fortaleza es necesaria porque uno necesita la fuerza suficiente para no rompernos por dentro pero a la misma vez la fuerza suficiente para convertirnos en mejores personas a causa de todo lo que estamos pasando en vez de permitir que nuestro corazón se endurezca por el dolor. Usted necesita claridad porque son en los momentos difíciles que se toman decisiones difíciles y para poder tomar las decisiones correctas, usted necesita claridad.

Con esto dicho, ¿cuáles son los secretos de la fortaleza y la claridad? Los secretos son el tener una buena mente, el tener sus emociones en control, el compartimentar y en dar espacio a las cosas.

El tener una buena mente es extremadamente importante. Sin una buena mente, usted tiene la perspectiva equivocada, usted toma las decisiones equivocadas y todo en su vida va a reflejar lo que está en su mente. Esto es porque en verdad todo comienza en la mente. Es necesario el entrenar su mente para ser cómo usted necesita que sea.

El mantener sus emociones en control es una necesidad porque en donde van sus emociones, el cuerpo los sigue. Cuando todo lo que siente son emociones negativas, usted también tomará las decisiones equivocadas y tendrá la perspectiva equivocada lo cual no conlleva a tener gran bienestar. Cuando emocionalmente usted no está bien, usted no va a querer escoger las comidas adecuadas para nutrir su cuerpo. Eventualmente su cuerpo sufrirá también. Somos seres emocionales y como seres emocionales, nosotros tomamos decisiones basadas en nuestras emociones. Esta es la razón por la cual usted tiene que mantener sus emociones en control.

Una cosa que uno debería de aprender de los hombres que yo creo que no debería ser una cosa sólo de hombres es compartimentar. Los hombres tienen una capacidad fascinante de separar las cosas, eventos y emociones y esto es una herramienta de sobrevivencia muy estupenda. La razón de esto es porque al compartimentar, usted no riega a todas las otras áreas de su vida el estrés que un área de la vida le esté causando. El compartimentar es básicamente el separar mental y emocionalmente las diferentes áreas de su vida. Esto al inicio es un desafio si usted normalmente une cada área de su vida pero se puede aprender a compartimentar.

Es importante el darse espacio- espacio para sentir sus emociones, espacio para estar disponible a si mismo, darse espacio para atender sus necesidades y espacio fuera de las cosas que le hieren. La razón de esto es para mantener su cordura mental y emocional. El espacio permite que las cosas fluyan con libertad porque cuando usted permite que las cosas fluyan con libertad, las cosas tienen una manera de mejorarse. Por ejemplo, cuando usted se da espacio para estar de duelo, usted está dejando ir todo lo que siente por dentro lo cual lo ayudará a sentir mejor. Cuando en vez de hacer esto usted se guarda sus emociones por dentro, es sólo cuestión de tiempo para explotar como un volcán. Es por esto que el espacio es muy importante.

La fortaleza y la claridad son dos cosas que aunque muy importante en momentos difíciles pueden ser un desafio tener, créame, lo sé. Sin embargo, si usted trabaja con los ingredientes necesarios para tener la fortaleza y la claridad, usted de seguro las tendrá.

Usted puede leer el blog en su Kindle haciendo clic en la tienda Amazon Kindle en https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 y puede escuchar mis pláticas en la red en http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Secrets to Strength and Clarity

Strength and clarity- two key ingredients needed whenever one deals with very difficult times. Strength is needed because it is a must to be strong enough to not break apart but yet strong enough that at the same time you can still become a better person as a result of what you are going through rather than allowing your heart to harden as a result. You need clarity because it is during difficult times that one has to make very hard decisions and in order to make the right decisions, you need clarity.

With this said, what are the secrets to strength and clarity? The secrets are having a good mind, keeping your emotions in check, compartmentalizing and giving things space.

Having a good mind is extremely important. Without a good mind, you have the wrong perspective, you make bad decisions and everything in your life will reflect what is in your mind. This is because indeed everything starts in the mind. It is a must that you train your mind to be how you need it to be.

Keeping your emotions in check is a must because wherever your emotions go, your body will follow. When all you are feeling are negative emotions, you also make bad decisions and will have the wrong perspective, both not conducive to great well-being. When emotionally you are not right, you won’t want to choose the right foods to nourish your body. Eventually your physical body will suffer as well. We are emotional beings and as emotional beings, we make decisions based on our emotions. This is the very reason why you need to keep your emotions in check.

One thing to learn from men that I think should not be a man thing is compartmentalizing. Men have a fascinating way of separating things, events and emotions and this is a great survival tool. The reason for this is because by compartmentalizing, you don’t spill over other areas of your life the stress that one area of your life is causing you. Compartmentalizing basically is separating mentally and emotionally the different areas of your life. This is a challenge at first if you normally mesh every area of your life but it can be mastered.

It is important to give yourself space- space to feel your emotions, space to be there for yourself, space to tend to your needs, space away from the things that hurt you. The reason for this is to maintain your mental and emotional sanity. Space allows things to flow freely because when you allow things to flow freely, they have a way of getting better. For instance, when you give yourself space to grieve, you are letting that all out which will help you feel better. When instead you bottle your emotions in, it is only a matter of time for that to explode like a volcano. This is why space is very important.

Strength and clarity are two things that although are very important in difficult times it can be a challenge to have, trust me, I know. However, if you work on the ingredients needed to have both strength and clarity, you will surely have both.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.