What to Do When There Is No Closure

Closure is important for many reasons and we all need it when something has come to an end. Take for instance when it’s our time to go. The purpose of funerals is to provide some sense of closure by coming to the realization that the person is physically no longer on this earth however painful it may be. This same concept applies to everything in life and this indeed affects your well-being.

When something has come to an end, whatever that may be, closure is a must. It is a must to have that final moment or words that will help you mentally and emotionally come to terms with what has occurred. Whether that is a breakup of a marriage,  boyfriend/girlfriend, friendship, job loss, etc. it is that closure that eventually helps you move on. Perhaps at the moment you may not be happy with the closure, even if one was provided to you, but eventually you will see the blessing that it was.

There are moments though where there is no closure and that for some can be painful. It can be painful when someone breaks up with you with no concrete explanation. It can be painful when anything abruptly ends without any warning or reason. What must one do then? The answer is you have to provide yourself with your own closure.

Closure helps one move on. Unfortunately not everyone will have either the maturity or the strength to provide you with a decent closure that you need. It is in these cases when it is a must for you to provide your own closure. How so? At first it is only normal to play and replay everything that happened in order to figure out what went wrong or what you could have done differently. I can tell you for personal experience that although it may help in some cases, in these kinds of cases where the other person didn’t provide any warning, it’s not even worth your energy trying to analyze what went wrong.

As human beings we are flawed by nature. Each and every one of us carries a luggage. Some luggage may be very heavy, others are light. It is nice if someone is carrying a light backpack, wouldn’t that be nice?! The luggage/backpack that I am referring to is issues, we all have them. The key is to not have such huge issues that terribly interferes with our well-being and to always be willing to work on them. With this in mind, remember that 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. I will repeat this, 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. People respond, live and behave according to what they are thinking and how they view themselves. What others have to say about you, what they do and how they respond to certain things is none of your business.

With this said, there will be those who will behave and react in ways that we will never comprehend. As long as you know you have been honest, loving, caring, and all the positive things with the other person, if for whatever reason the other person behaves in a way that makes you feel hurt, know that those who don’t belong in your life have to leave your life. Anyone who doesn’t value you as a person, value your friendship, value what you have to offer, YOU ARE SO LUCKY. Let me repeat, you are so lucky! It is a must for your well-being to stop allowing the lack of closure from others, their lack of vision, for lack of a better word to mean that they can’t see your value, and their behavior to hurt you to such a degree that a piece of you gets chipped.

Bless anyone who leaves your life, it’s your blessing not a curse! Feel grateful for anyone who does you wrong, they taught you a lesson and you know who they are and where they belong which is out of your life! Feel lucky for anyone who can’t see your value, they are already telling you they are not meant to be of any service in your life! Provide your own closure by knowing that you are the winner in any “misfortune”. Provide your own closure by knowing that you did good to the other person so your karma is good. Provide your own closure by knowing your value. It is a must for your well-being.

Closure is an essential part to one’s well-being because it confirms to us that something has ended. However, when closure is not provided to you or when the closure isn’t satisfying to you, it is a must that you provide yourself with your own closure by knowing your value, by knowing that you are ALWAYS the winner whenever anyone lets you go or whenever any door closes. Thank God for those who let you go and for those closed doors, they are leaving space for the right people and things to come your way.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

4 thoughts on “What to Do When There Is No Closure

  1. Writing can be a form of closure too. If I find myself in a situation where it is not possible to bring closure with another person, I empower myself to close the loop on my own by writing about the situation or my feelings. This often brings me the sense of closure I need to enable me to move on.

  2. Your words are always inspiring! I have missed the brightness, the radiance of your wonderful spirit! Happy New Year to you my sister, and may it be blessed always with abundant grace, love, peace, joy and spiritual wealth! You are deserving of His love because you share His love selflessly with us all!

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