The Interesting Concept of “Breadcrumbing”

I have been hearing and reading lately about the concept of breadcrumbing. For those who don’t know this concept, what this basically means is the act of a person just texting you without any commitment, no phone calls and not seeing each other in person just to keep you hanging. Now, this refers more to dating but when I think about this concept, I would dare to say this is also seen in other relationships that are not only romantic. We are starting to see this concept spill over to friendships as well. Because relationships are at the core of one’s well-being, I will be discussing how detrimental this is when you allow this into your life.

Relationships are necessary for our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Without healthy relationships- let me put some emphasis on “healthy” because this is key- you will literally die while living in the sense that it is love that nurtures us. Healthy love. Once again, the key word is “healthy”.

So what does a healthy relationship look like? Healthy relationships are corresponded, meaning that you both want each other in your life, you both want each other’s company, you both reciprocate affection and effort. Let me repeat, you both reciprocate effort. What I mean with “effort” is that you both take the time to see each other, hang out, get to know each other and hear from each other. When I write “relationships”, I am not referring just to romantic relationships, I include ALL relationships- family and friends as well.

How does a healthy relationship feel like? It feels peaceful, joyous, happy, exciting, comfortable and safe. With “safe” I mean that you feel you can be yourself with the person. If you ever feel like you need to walk on egg shells, you have to hide a certain side of you, uncomfortable or you are wondering whether the other person feels the same way as you, that is not healthy. It’s not healthy because anything that makes you wonder or feel like you can’t be yourself creates doubt within you. Those who belong in your life will NOT make you feel doubtful about yourself.

When you allow someone in your life who only wants to text you, not see you when they can, shows no effort to make you a part of their life, that can hurt your self-concept. It can make you feel unappreciated and unloved because all they are offering you are breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs are not healthy at all. They are void of nutrition, apart from the fact that they are not filling. So when someone is only texting you and not taking the time to see you and get to know you, you are missing nutrients such as love, appreciation, acceptance, feeling and being included in their life. All these are nutrients that we need in order to feel and be good. Remember that as human beings we have a need to be needed and loved.

You do NOT deserve breadcrumbs! You deserve and NEED the full meal with the appetizers, the entree, the dessert and all that comes with a healthy, fulfilling meal! Remember that! Breadcrumbs are NEVER satisfying. When all you are accepting are breadcrumbs, you seriously need to question how you feel about yourself. You need to question what do you want out of that other person. You need to ask yourself what do you need. If a “friend” is only offering breadcrumbs, consider that an acquaintance, not a friend. Friendships are like a healthy meal- they are full and satisfying. If you don’t feel that way, it’s time to do some clean up when it comes to your social well-being. If a date is doing that with you, get rid of that s&%$ and move on! What that person is offering you has nothing to do with your value and all to do with what that person can offer which is NOTHING.

Breadcrumbing….it’s important to understand this concept so that you can know when someone is doing this to you. This is something to avoid accepting if you truly want great well-being. Remember, healthy meals are filling. Breadcrumbs….they are not filling at all!

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La importancia de decir “no”

Usted quizás pensará que esto no tiene nada que ver con su bienestar. Sin embargo, “no” debe de ser parte de su vocabulario para poder crecer en bienestar y de esto se trata lo que voy a escribir en esta semana.

Hay un dicho en español que dice “Quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta” para significar que si usted trata de hacer muchas cosas, termina por hacer poco o nada. Usted sólo puede hacer lo que puede hacer y entre más quiere, no sólo usted tiene que tomarse una pausa y parar por un momento, usted tiene que decir “no” a cosas que pueden llegar en su camino.

El estrés debe ser reservado para emergencias de verdad- cuando un familiar se enferma, cuando usted se enferma, cuando hay un accidente, etc.- no para las cosas diarias de la vida. El estresarse porque usted está haciendo muchas cosas sólo lo lleva a enfermarse y a la frustración. No lo deja centrarse ni lo ayuda a pensar con claridad.

He escrito esto antes y lo voy a escribir otra vez, es bueno tener metas. Es bueno querer tanto de la vida. Sin embargo, usted nunca quiere llegar al punto del agotamiento. Eso no le hace bien a nadie.

El decir “no” se trata de tener prioridades. Para poder alcanzar muchas cosas, usted necesita saber sus prioridades y después que termine de completar esas cosas, usted puede hacer la próxima cosa. No es que ciertas cosas no sean importantes para usted, es sólo que para poder terminar bien con esa tarea, usted primero tiene que termina con lo que usted está haciendo ahora. También usted tiene que saber qué haría una grande diferencia ahora y trabajar en eso primero. Esto es otra manera de lograr más cosas- el saber qué haría una grande diferencia en su vida si esa tarea fuera completada.

El decir “no” se trata de poner sus propios límites. Usted pone límites en usted mismo y a los demás. Su bienestar debe ser una prioridad antes que nada. Por lo tanto, cuando usted dice “no” a ciertas cosas, usted está evitando el meterse en cosas que al final sólo lo vuelve loco mentalmente porque es demasiado y físicamente agotador ya que el tener muchas cosas que hacer puede cansar el cuerpo.

Haga que el decir “no” sea parte de su vocabulario. Esto se trata de cuidarse a si mismo, de no hacer más de lo que puede en el momento y de poner límites. Los demás tendrán su opinión en cuanto a su “no” y esto está bien. Al final, lo que cuenta es lo que usted siente y usted nunca quiere llegar al punto del agotamiento.

Usted puede leer el blog en su Kindle haciendo clic en la tienda Amazon Kindle en  https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 y puede escuchar mis pláticas en la red en http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.