When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

You Are the Fashion!

I am impressed to see what is in fashion when it comes to image. It seems as if we are taught to accept things that are not a part of us. I was impressed to learn that freckles are now in fashion, so much so that people are willing to paint freckles on themselves. I have freckles on my face, not a lot, but some that are noticeable and I remember that as a young girl, I wasn’t happy about my freckles. Now I love them but back then no.

In today’s post, I would like to encourage you for your well-being to embrace the fact that you are the fashion. The way that you are created is exactly the way you are supposed to be and that no one, not even someone with so much influence, has the right to dictate to you what is hot and what is not. Remember that YOU are HOT just the way you are. It’s not the big butt, the small butt, the tone butt, the straight hair, the curly hair, the long hair, the short hair, the one with freckles, none of this is in fashion. Whatever you are, however way you are, YOU ARE IN FASHION.

Why drill this in your mind? Because it is important to have self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is key to great well-being. It is a must to feel great just the way you are. It is important to see how sexy you are no matter how you look. It is important to know your value as a person. It is important to know that you are beautiful just the way you are.

It is also important to ignore the outside messages when it comes to the way you look. Society may say that because your hair is a certain way, because your body looks a certain way, you are not acceptable or good enough. You may be in an environment where people don’t look like you or act like you so you feel like an odd ball. All this can cause havoc on your self-esteem and self-concept that can affect your well-being. Please know that you are the way you are, you have the tastes that you have, you look the way you do for a beautiful reason and purpose. You are wonderful just the way you are. You are handsome/gorgeous just the way you are. You don’t need to be a certain height, a certain weight, a certain nothing to be great. You are ENOUGH just the way you are!

Please remember that YOU ARE THE FASHION. YOU ARE IN FASHION and will ALWAYS be in fashion. It’s important to remember your value and not listen to outside voices nor other people’s opinion of what is right and what is not. Your well-being depends on this.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

One Killer to Great Relationships and Great Life

There are many things that can kill great relationships and life but this week, I would like to write about one that seems to be so prevalent nowadays and that’s such a shame because this one masks great things into something that you would think you have to push away, it pushes away from you things and people that can add to your life as well as make you blind to your own mistake. This one thing is called pride/ego.

It’s important to have pride in oneself- pride in who we are, pride to not allow others to hurt us, pride to set boundaries of what is allowed in our personal space and what is not allowed, etc. However, there is a certain kind of pride that is hurtful to you and that’s the kind of pride that comes from your ego. The ego always seeks to protect itself. The ego is selfish. The ego doesn’t know any better and this is why our pride can’t come from the ego.

How does this pride/ego hurt your relationships and you from having a great life? Well, first off, one may ask what consists a great life. A great life is not just one where you are career wise prosperous or financially prosperous or even when physically you are “healthy”. It consists of so much more such as your mindset, your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, etc. It consists of having a balance in every area in your life or at least striving for balance. There will be moments where it will not be perfect, a great life is not about perfection. It is about having a healthy balance and having great relationships in life. In fact, relationships and this means any interaction that you have with others, is the basis to a great, healthy life! It is your relationships with others that grows you. It is your relationships with others that truly fulfill you.

How pride kills all this is that it blinds you from seeing things the way they are, it makes you ignore your inner being and what it is trying to tell you, it doesn’t allow you to see where you went wrong when something went wrong. It makes you blind, deaf, numb and all the things that you must not be in order to live a great life.

The way to combat this pride/ego is by being truly honest with yourself as to who you are, what you want, seeing your role in everything that happens and admit the role that you played in anything that happens. Think about the bigger picture. Being right at the cost of your relationships is not worth it. Keeping your pride because you don’t want to apologize for what you did wrong makes you lose. It makes you lose the potential of great people in your life. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are wrong, in fact, that makes you strong. There is nothing wrong with caring because it makes you human.

If you truly care about having a great life, start investing in good relationships- good friends, cultivating your relationship with someone you love, loving your spouse, telling the person that you care that you actually care, etc. Don’t let pride/ego get in the way of your relationships or in the way of you allowing something that can be great from happening. I think if most of us did that, we wouldn’t live in such confusion or hurt.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Wasting Your Time?

There are many times when we may not even realize it until it is too late that all we have been doing in life is wasting our time. Sometimes what makes us come to this realization is either a sickness, a disability, a loss of some sort and none of this is necessary for us to come to this realization.

Now, this question that I just asked on the title will have different answers for everyone. That’s because everyone’s definition of living life and enjoying life will be different. What I may find as enjoyment may be different for someone else. So for this reason, you can’t go to anyone else for an answer, you have to look within you.

Even though the answer to this question will be different for everyone, there are some basic things that I think are time wasters for everyone no matter how different we may all be for certain things. Time wasters would be being angry at others, being worried all the time, not working on the relationships that truly matter most, taking those you love for granted, focusing on things that are no longer in your present life or focusing on what could have been but isn’t, being angry with Life for the things that you don’t have in life or for what was taken away from you. All these things are what I call paralyzers because they do just that, they paralyze you. They paralyze you mentally, physically and emotionally. They don’t help you move forward and see all the goodness that you still have. They make you blind. They hinder you from enjoying life.

Being angry at someone else is not hurting the other person, it is hurting you. The other person may not even be aware of what you are feeling but you are and that can make you even more angry because it does hurt to know that you care while the other person doesn’t. Depending on what it is that made you angry, that anger may be easy to let go or not. Whatever it is that made you angry, know that by continuing to feel this way, the only person who are hurting is yourself. There are times when other people may not even mean to harm us and so this is another reason why it is not worth getting so angry. As my very good friend Dawn reminded me over and over, no one can make you feel a certain way unless you allow them.

Being worried all the time is just paralyzing in every aspect. It paralyzes you mentally because the worry that you feel can stop you from thinking of making the right decision. It paralyzes you physically because the worry can make you not want to take any action. We usually worry about something that hasn’t happened yet and this stops us from living the present moment. If you want to be able to look at your past and think of it with good thoughts and feelings, then you must enjoy this moment because this moment will be past. Besides, worry just attracts more of the things that you are worried about.

One of the things that matters so much in life is the relationships we have in our life. Not cultivating them is, to me, equivalent to not saving money and the reason for this is because whether you realize it or not, the relationships that you have with others are an investment. What you give to others is what you get back. Family is one thing we tend to take for granted and think about this, when you are in your down moments, it isn’t a job or strangers who will be there for you, it is your family and close friends so make time for those you love and love you.

I can tell you that focusing on what no longer was in my present paralyzed me for a bit and made me waste my time by not looking forward. That is what focusing on what could have been but isn’t, focusing on what you no longer have and what you feel Life has taken away from you do to you, it keeps you from looking forward. I know it can be challenging at times but it is a must to look forward to more goodness in life. Part of life is transitioning from one stage of life to the next and we must embrace this if we are to be happy.

So now I challenge you to think whether or not you are wasting your time. This simple question can transform the way your life is right now if there is any part of it that you are not happy with and can add more well-being to you.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Need to Make Room For Everything

I wrote a post last year about what does it mean to be a positive person and I wrote that being a positive person doesn’t mean that you are always happy and that you just ignore everything that is going on. What I didn’t mention is that truly positive people are the ones who make room in their life for everything, the good and the bad. Making room for everything is so beneficial for your overall well-being and this is what today’s post is about.

Depending on the kind of person that you are or depending on how you have managed to resolve any issues that were unresolved issues in the past, it may be easy to make room for the good things in life. The reason why I started the sentence with “depending on the kind of person that you are or depending on how you have managed to resolve any issues that were unresolved issues in the past” is because believe it or not, there are those who don’t make enough room for the good things in life and this is not healthy. When this is the case, this may indicate that you have a fear of success which needs to be addressed as soon as possible since this is a hindrance to your happiness and well-being.

Likewise, you need to make room for the “bad” stuff as well. What do I mean with this? Whenever you feel sad or angry, make room for these feelings. Don’t hide them nor deny them. Allow yourself room to feel this way, what you can’t do is sit with this feeling for too long. You need to make room for the “bad” stuff because when you don’t, it just boils inside you like a volcano and it’s just a matter of time for that volcano to erupt. Instead, when you make room for this, you are releasing these energies in a healthy way by tending to them, by paying attention to them, by understanding them. I’ve wrote this before and I will write it again, there is power in understanding your feelings. There is also power in making room for these feelings.

How do you make room for everything? When it comes to the “bad” stuff, (and I write “bad” in quotation marks because these things don’t necessarily need to be bad), make some time to feel these emotions. So if you’re feeling sad, set some time to feel that sadness. Cry if you have to but once that time is up, that’s it. That way you can release those emotions rather than hang on to them. Understand those emotions. Emotions provide feedback as to where you currently are in your life, what you need and what you should be doing. After you understand your emotions then do something about what you are feeling. Whatever it is that makes you feel that “negative” emotion, then it’s best to stop doing it. Do things instead that will make you happy. Pay attention to the feedback and act accordingly.

Make also room for the good stuff. Make sure you get your daily dose of happiness. You need to make room for all the good stuff in life. After all, you deserve the good stuff. Make sure you do things that makes your soul beam with joy. Make sure you surround yourself with love and loving people. Make sure you allow yourself to be successful in love, in money, in everything. There are times that we don’t realize that we hinder these things from us.

Part of well-being is also making room for everything in life. It is the making room for everything that allows us to learn and grow from our experiences and makes us appreciate certain things better. It also allows us to have a better understanding of ourselves and others.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Laziness…The Killer of a Great Life…

We have a criminal in town and it doesn’t discriminate and it can attack anyone at any moment in life. Yes, it is a criminal because it kills your chances to a great life, it kills your dreams and steals your motivation in life. This criminal doesn’t care if you are a male or female, what your ethnicity is nor how old you are. Yes, I dare to say it, that criminal is called laziness!

“Stop being so dramatic Aura!” you’re probably saying to yourself. No, this is not being dramatic because laziness is a big criminal if you allow it to creep into your life. There are many who would love a great life but yet allow themselves to be lazy to do what it takes to have that life they want.

Laziness can attack at any moment in time. Many times we are not so aware of it, other times we are. One sure way you can know whether or not laziness is attacking you is that you start to make excuses as to why you can’t do this nor have that. When I write “excuses”, I’m not referring to excuses that are legitimate like when one has real problems going on in their life. I think you know very well the kind of excuses I mean because deep down inside you know that those excuses are just a way of you convincing yourself that you can’t do this or have that.

Another way to know when laziness is attacking you is by you knowing that you have to get something done yet you don’t feel like doing it. When you don’t feel like doing something, you will be tempted to come up with excuses to justify why you can’t do something. One thing to keep in mind is that anything that you want to accomplish in life you won’t always feel like doing but you do it anyway because you know you have the bigger picture in mind.

If you say you want something but yet you are not doing anything to get what you want, yup, that’s laziness attacking you, trying to kill your dreams. Wanting something is not enough for you to have what you want. You have to take action. You have to be doing something every single day in order to get closer to whatever it is that you want. That is the hardest part. Wanting is easy, the secret is in the doing and when you start viewing the doing part as something hard or impossible, you are allowing laziness to take over by once again, justifying why you can’t do something.

My hope with this post is to make you aware of ways in which you may be allowing laziness to kill your chance of having the life that you want. If you start paying attention to these signs that I just wrote, you will know that laziness is trying to take over and then be able to stop this from creeping into your life.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Can Only Control Your Choices…

There are times where one may wish to control what someone else does or thinks. This can most certainly apply when it comes to something or someone that we really want or like or even care about. Whether it is someone that you have romantic feelings for, an action that you wish a loved one would make or any business decision someone else has to make, you can only control the choices that YOU make.

How can having this simple fact ingrained in you help you with your well-being? Well, I learned the hard way that unless I let go of the fact that I can not control how others will react nor what choices they will make, I will never be happy. It’s as simple as that. I know so well that this is easier said than done, trust me I know and I have been so hardheaded for so long to realize this. The truth is that when you realize that you can not control other people’s choices other than your own, you become a much happier person.

Understanding with your mind and your heart this simple fact will help you relinquish control of how things in your life goes. You will feel how that sense of heaviness gets lifted from you because indeed you are letting go of something that you have no business carrying around with you. When you carry around the burden of wanting to control what goes on around you and what others do, you are carrying an unnecessary baggage that just holds you back in life. Sometimes to enjoy life, this requires that you just let go of how others will react or what choices they will make with regards to things. With this I am by no means writing that you shouldn’t care about what others do or say or anything along these lines. What I am encouraging is that you don’t try to control what others do or think in regards to any situation that may involve you. For example, when it comes to love (I mention love here because this is a touching subject for most of us), you only have control over how you feel and react. For as much as you may care about the other person, for as much as you may want to be with that person, for as much as you may want to work things out or want the other person to see the value in you, unfortunately you don’t have total control over this. All you can do is just be your best you and let go of the outcome.

One of the main reasons why it is important for you to know that you can only control your choices and not other people’s choices is because this helps you let go of the outcome. In other words, you don’t get so attached to the outcome of whatever situation. This helps you greatly not to take things personal, not to be so hurt by what happened and you are actually freeing yourself. Part of well-being is having a sense of freedom and freedom goes beyond the financial aspect, (I can discuss this on another post).

For now, I encourage you for your well-being, in order to spare yourself from more hurt, headaches, heartaches, disappointments, remember that you can only control your choices.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.