When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

The Things That Held You Back

Some people may look back and realize that there were several things that held them back. Perhaps those things were the people around them, perhaps their environment, their childhood, their limiting beliefs, etc. and for some, the very thought of these things holding them back keeps holding them back.

The one thing you can never recuperate is time. Once time is gone, it’s gone. However, you still have more time ahead of you. The longer you keep looking back at the things that held you back, the more held back you will be. The things that once held you back don’t need to continue holding you back.

If you are held back for whatever reason, I want you to seriously consider the fact that perhaps it is you who is holding you back. Why do I dare you to consider this? Because the reality is that you can NOT control what others do. You can NOT control how others think. NO ONE has power over you. NO ONE can define you. NO ONE, unless you grant them permission, can do anything in your life.

I want to briefly discuss about childhood and this is one that is difficult to talk about since I know for some there were probably serious childhood issues. Once you become an adult, YOU have the choice as to whether or not you are going to continue to allow what happened to you to affect you. If you realize that the issues are too deep that you can’t handle them alone, then go seek a therapist or a psychologist. Get the help you need but don’t continue to allow your past to affect you in negative ways.

I want to briefly discuss limiting beliefs. It is a must to find the source of the limiting beliefs. You may be surprised to learn that the limiting belief you may have is someone else’s beliefs and you just internalized it as your own belief. It is important to challenge your beliefs if you are to grow into the person that you are meant to be.

I want to briefly discuss your environment. You don’t have to be your environment. If your environment isn’t congruent with the person that you are, that doesn’t mean that who you really are is wrong. Just like not all trees can grow in the same environment, we all can’t grow in the same environment. Know that you are much more than your environment if your environment is not a reflection of you. Also know that just because you are not like your environment, that doesn’t make you wrong. That just means that you are you and that’s it. There is nothing wrong with that.

The last thing I want to briefly discuss is people. What people think or say about you is none of your business. Your business is YOU and that’s it. Once again, you can’t control what other people do. You can’t control how other people think. People can only hold you back if you allow them to hold you back. Also people’s complexes and criticisms are non of your business. What other people decide to do with their life you can not control. The only person you can control is yourself so start to control yourself so that you can have the life that you want.

It is a must to control your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, your actions and what you allow in your life. Remember that nothing needs to hold you back unless you ALLOW it to hold you back. This is the key word- allow. Remember that you are the only one who can allow things to hold you back.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Build Organ Reserve

What happened to me this passed weekend made me value the way I have been taking care of my body. I flew with some people who were throwing up, four to be exact, and one of them had the flu. Of course the person with the flu I was in contact with since she was at my side and she came close to me to tell me she had the flu. The following day I woke up feeling so drained that I was worried about traveling. I still flew out that night but by the time I was landing at the destination, I was feeling some body ache and was feeling cold. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to survive the trip since I was also having a headache.

When I came back to NY, my body was able to bounce back the following day and I thank God for that. I must say that was pretty quick. I know that is because of my organ reserve and it is this that I would like to write about.

I came across the term “organ reserve” while working on getting my credits for the requalification of my certification in Holistic Nutrition. What organ reserve means is that the organs have the capacity to allow the body to deal with stress through unused, extra functioning abilities. I compare this to savings. There will be times in life when financially you may be in a position where you will have to use your savings because times are tough. Organ reserve is like your savings account but just like you need to put money aside so that you can have for a rainy day, you have to build organ reserve so in times of stress, your body can cope and bounce right back up with no problem.

So how can you start building organ reserve? You start by starting NOW. Don’t wait until tomorrow, next week, next month or until the summer time. No, start NOW taking care of your body. This care, of course, will consist of eating healthy and taking the proper supplements that your body needs. The one mistake that many may make is thinking that they can have all their nutrition through food. Sorry but food is not grown the same way anymore and so many nutrients can be lost from the passage of time of the harvest to the cooking. Besides, I don’t think many of us, I include myself, eat the amount of foods that we need in order to get the amount of nutrients the body needs so that it can function at an optimum level. So make sure you supplement what you eat by choosing the right supplements. Being physically active also helps and to be physically active doesn’t mean doing hardcore workouts. It can be as simple as going for a brisk walk.

Make sure that mentally and emotionally you are right. When your mind isn’t right, nothing can be right. Now, I know that this can be a challenge at times. Trust me, I know, but it is a must to make an effort to be fit mentally and emotionally. Understand what drains you. Understand what triggers certain emotions in you. Do what feels good for you. Remember, you are an investment that you must make but you are worth the investment.

If you ever think for a moment that your body is just this thing that gets hungry every 2 1/2 to 3 hours and it isn’t something to truly treasure, think of what happens when you have no savings. When things really go sour, you have no cushion to fall back on. Well, same thing with your body. You want a cushion to fall back on and organ reserve is that cushion in times of stress. So I encourage you to start working on creating some organ reserve. If you need some help with that, you are more than welcome to contact me on this site.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

The Problem With Unresolved Issues

One of the things that can ruin one’s well-being without one realizing is any unresolved issues and this is what I will be writing in today’s post.

Why write about unresolved issues? Because unresolved issues can prevent you from living your life fully. Unresolved issues can make you push away all the goodness and you may not even understand why. Unresolved issues can make you chase all that is not good for you and you may not understand why. Unresolved issues can make you hold on to something that is hurting you and you may find it hard to let go. Unresolved issues can lead you to do things, accept people and circumstances that are unhealthy and can lead to destructive choices. No, I am not exaggerating, it CAN lead to destructive choices.

How can one know when they have unresolved issues? I think the best way is by looking at how your life is. Take a look at what you have been attracting, take a look at what you have been accepting in your life, take a close look at your relationships and take a closer look at how you feel and think about yourself. We accept what we think we deserve. We accept what we feel we deserve. When you know that you deserve better, you don’t accept anything less. Based on the way you view yourself and your life, that’s what you tend to accept.

Where do unresolved issues come from? How does one get to this point? There are many things that can lead to one having unresolved issues. It can come from your childhood, from your parents, the way you were treated in school, any rejection you may have had in the past, any failure and the most important especially as an adult, your perception. Perception is a big one because your perception of anything is everything. What is done to us is not what really matters, it is the way we perceive what happened what matters most. The way that you get to a point of having an unresolved issue is that when something occurs, you perhaps didn’t give it much thought and didn’t processed how something either made you feel and your thoughts of what happened, the lessons, etc. It is important to give things room- give yourself as well as what happened room so that you can digest it. The best way to resolve something is by processing it. It is a mistake to sweep things under the rug or substitute what hurt you for another without first letting it sit for a bit until you learn the lesson and then move on. This is how many without knowing and unintentionally hurt others.

Unresolved issues….it is a must to deal with the issues and move past it. Once again, it is a mistake to sweep things under the rug, substitute what hurt you for another without first letting it sit for a bit until you learn the lesson and then move on, a huge mistake to numb your emotions with alcohol, drugs, food or anything in an unhealthy manner. If you don’t want the issue to creep its ugly head, you might as well learn and grow from it.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Power of Authenticity

I think we live in a world where we are too concerned with pleasing others, with what others are going to think and with not being rude to others all at the cost of our well-being. Now, I want to clarify that I am not advocating total selfishness nor disregard towards others. Not at all and there is a fine line which we must pay attention. I can discuss that fine line on another post. What I am referring to in this post is the kind of concern where other people’s thoughts and feelings of you are more important than what you truly feel. There is no power in this kind of concern and this is why I am advocating authenticity.

There is power in authenticity. Let me start by describing what authenticity means. Being authentic means being true, it is not false nor is it imitating. So with this said, for the purpose of this post, it means being true to who you are regardless of what others may think or feel. It means you are not trying to be like others just to please others. It means you are not doing something that goes against what you truly feel and think even if others may not understand it and may be offended by it. I will explain what I mean with the latter “…even if others…may be offended by it”. What I mean with that is that there will be times where you will have to say “no” to others, set boundaries because what that person is doing you are not appreciate of, etc. You should never do something that goes against what you feel and think just because you might offend someone. Your well-being, your happiness, your peace of mind and you feeling good with the decisions that you make should ALWAYS go before you worrying about what others may think or feel when you notice that it crosses the line of your well-being.

I have to warn you that authenticity comes with a price. Sometimes a high price but I believe it’s a price worth paying because there is nothing like being authentic. The price is that you will have those who will misunderstand you, those who will criticize you, those who won’t want your friendship perhaps because of who you are, those who will talk wrongly about you behind your back because of your way of being. However, I think it is worse to go to bed feeling so disappointed with yourself for going against your true nature, for trying to fit into something that is so different from you and for trying to fit in or please others. At the end of the day, the reality is that you go to sleep to yourself, you wake up to yourself and when it’s your time to go, you will be in that coffin by yourself so who cares what others think?! You are the only one living your life, no one else is doing it for you! I know this sounds so blunt and crude but let’s be real. It is what YOU think and feel about yourself that matters most.

The power of authenticity is that you start to attract more of the people that you need in your life, people who are similar to you and who adds to your well-being. You will feel good with yourself knowing that you are doing things that makes YOU happy, not anyone else. You push away people and circumstances that in the long run don’t belong in your life. Your life will start to align itself in ways you never thought possible and this is all thanks to the power of authenticity.

Authenticity….so critical to your overall well-being because it is awful to do things that go against what we feel and think, your self-esteem gets chipped away every time you try to fit into something that you’re not and there is no way that your life can be the way you want and need it to be when you’re not authentic. Make it your goal to always be authentic to you no matter what.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

It Only Takes Small Steps

There are times in our life where we want massive changes. It’s normal, especially if we feel that life isn’t quite the way we want it to be or the way we know it is capable of being. We may be fooled into thinking that in order to make those massive changes, we need to take massive steps and this is not the way it works. In order to make massive changes in your life, believe it or not, it only takes small steps.

I remember that when I wanted to move to another state, I thought of it as a massive step and indeed it is a massive step but in order to make that massive step, I had to start small. So it all started with me looking online and checking out areas and apartments online. Small step but it lead to the massive change.

If you feel stuck in life, it’s easy to remain in that stuck state but you must make a small step first. Probably you need to clean out one area of your apartment in order to start feeling free. Probably you need to first start letting your partner know that you both need to talk since you feel “stuck” in that relationship. Probably you need to start by letting that particular person know how something that they are doing “makes” you feel. Probably you need to start a job search in order for you to change careers. Probably it is something as simple as changing your mindset, which sounds simple but for some it may be a big challenge.

No matter what it is that you want to do, it is a must to remember that it only takes small steps. A penny is just a penny but if you have ten pennies that makes 10 cents, 25 pennies make 25 cents and so every small step you take adds up. With this I want to encourage you to start taking small steps in life.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Why Is It a Must to Shake Off Certain Emotions?

I am one who says and writes over and over again that emotions are to be respected, tend to and understood because emotions are nothing else other than feedback from our soul/true essence. However, there are certain emotions that you can only have in small dosages because these emotions create havoc on your overall well-being and in today’s post, I would like to explain why it is a must to shake off certain emotions.

I totally understand, and trust me when I write that I totally understand, that there are certain circumstances in life where it seems unavoidable to not feel depressed, worried, angry and so on. There are certain circumstances in life that just don’t seem fair, are very sad and can just drag us down to a point that feels that there is no way out. HOWEVER, and let me repeat, however (and yes, I did capitalize the conjunctive adverb “however” because it is that important that it needs emphasis) it is a MUST to shake off these emotions because they, when it prolongs for too long, are detrimental to your overall life and well-being. Any emotions that when prolonged are detrimental to your well-being are depression/sadness, anger, worry, grief and sorrow.

Not shaking off these emotions are detrimental to your mind. They take over your thoughts and your thoughts affect your emotions and actions. Your thoughts program your mind which is the central part of how you perceive and feel things that occur. This also affects the decisions that you make thus affecting your actions.

Not shaking off these emotions affect you physically to the point that if you’re not careful, you can become physically sick. The mind, body and soul are all connected. They are not separate. Think about this, when you are sad or grieving, do you feel like choosing healthy foods? I bet not. Most likely you will go for comfort foods which most likely means unhealthy meals. The way you feel when you put food in your body matters. I have noticed that when you eat just to “survive”, your body doesn’t receive the food it’s getting the same way. You may notice that you feel nauseas, food doesn’t sit well in the stomach, etc. Instead, when you enjoy your food and enjoy what you are putting in your body, your body feels joy, you feel good. Stress and depression creates physical havoc in the body to the point that you can actually get an illness over time.

Not shaking off these emotions affects your physical environment. What I mean with your physical environment is your home, your relationships with others, etc. There is no way you will feel like having your home looking nice when you feel down. There is no way you will be able to transmit good energy and have much to give to others when you are down. There is just no way! Our physical environment reflects how we feel inside ourselves so if your physical world is a mess, guess what, it’s time to look at your inner world. If your physical environment is not a good environment, that just creates a cycle that seems like never ending. A depressing environment only creates a more depressing state of mind. You can’t afford to be in this state! It’s too expensive in so many ways!

I by no means am contradicting the fact that I encourage to embrace and understand your emotions. Not at all. What I am implying with today’s post is that if you stay too long with certain emotions that in large dosages are too harmful for you, you need to shake those emotions off. You must if you want great well-being. For those who are reading this and find themselves in a situation that feels awful and sad, please know that nothing is forever and that for your well-being as well as the well-being of others, it is a MUST to shake off those emotions! Please do, you are worth so much and no matter where you are in life, you matter not just for yourself but for others as well.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.