Keep That Sparkle In Your Eyes

Life is meant for you to live it feeling good everyday. You are meant to be loved and feel loved. You are meant to give love. You are meant to share who you are with no shame or regret. You are meant to dream big with no shame nor limitation. However, there are moments in life where we may feel discouraged, full of regret because something didn’t come out the way we wanted, or we may feel rejected by something or someone. Life sometimes throws things in the way that may distract us, etc. When we allow these things to get in the way, this may limit us and rob us from having that sparkle in our eyes.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when something doesn’t come out the way you wanted it to be. Things happen the way they do because they are blessings in disguise. You must remember to thank God, the universe, life or whatever it is that you believe in that things happen the way they do. You may not understand why at the moment but you will in the future.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when someone “rejected” you. I had a conversation the other day about rejections and how when someone doesn’t feel something for you, even if you care about them so much, even if you are a good person, God or whatever it is that you believe in didn’t place that seed in them for your own good. They don’t feel for you the same way that you feel towards them because it wasn’t planted in them and only the higher being knows why and trust that in the end, it is YOU who is the winner. You are NOT the loser. You can’t imagine how many times I have been so grateful years later that something didn’t work out with the guy because in the end, they were so wrong for me in many ways and I thanked God that the guy saw it was wrong.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when you lose a loved one. This is a tough one and I truly understand this. Death, unfortunately, is a part of life but that doesn’t mean that the tie that you have with that person is totally lost. That person is still with you spiritually and can guide you in ways that they were not able to when they were alive. It is a must to remember that the best way to honor a lost loved one is by being the best version of yourself.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when there may be negativity around you. There are things you are learning that you may not even realize. There was a wonderful story I heard about three pots of boiling water. One had a carrot, the second had an egg and the third had tea. The carrot is hard and when placed in the boiling water, it gets soft and weak. The egg which is soft inside, when placed in the boiling water it gets hard inside. The tea which is just leaves inside, when placed in water it turns into an aromatic, flavorful drink. Which of the three do you want to be? When placed in situations of adversity, become like the tea, aromatic and flavorful as a result of it.

For your well-being, it is a must to keep that sparkle in your eyes. It is easy to become cynical or doubtful and hard on the inside but it doesn’t help you grow as a person. Don’t allow other people’s issues to become your issues. Don’t allow situations to turn you into someone you are not. Don’t allow “rejections” to become a reflection of who you are. None of these things have anything to do with you.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Failing Your Courses?

Have you ever noticed that you get the same experience over and over again, just with different people or even different circumstances? Sometimes these experiences are not even pleasant experiences. In situations like these, it is easy to believe that one may be cursed or just have bad luck or perhaps one is a magnet to those things. Have you ever considered that most likely this is occurring because you are actually failing your courses?

Yes, many times we fail many courses- the courses of life. You will forever be a student in the school called Life where every person you meet, every experience, every disappointment, every failure are your teachers. Many of them are great teachers, it’s just a matter of perspective.

I learned the hard way that indeed people do reflect the way we feel about ourselves. How so? Well, if you meet someone who mistreats you and you allow it, that person is teaching you that you need to learn to love yourself. The key phrase in the previous sentence is “you allow it”. This is because you don’t have to be a bad person for bad people to come into your life. Whether you have a good heart or not, you may encounter some people who are not nice, this is not a reflection of you at all. What DOES become a reflection of you is when you ALLOW them to treat you in a way you don’t deserve.

A bad experience can be a huge blessing and a preparation for bigger things that are yet to come. If an experience didn’t go the way you expected or hoped, you learning to see what went wrong and what you could have done different can help you understand what to do better the next time. When you think about what went wrong and what you could have done different, it is important that you do this without any judgement towards yourself. This is important because otherwise analyzing what went wrong and what you could have done differently can backfire you. It backfires you because you end up being hard on yourself.

A disappoint can be a real eye opener. It’s awful to go on in life with blindfolds on, not seeing what is in front of you. A disappointment prepares you for a bigger task and a bigger responsibility that may lie ahead. This is why disappointments can be true blessings.

A person you meet can teach you something you needed to learn or they can tell you something you needed to hear. Even someone that gets you on your nerves is teaching you something whether that be patience, how to mold yourself, teaching you to become more tough, etc. So learn to view even those you can’t stand as blessings because they too serve a purpose in your life. That is part of developing that mental and emotional agility that you need in life.

A failure shows you what went wrong and what to do differently next time. Failures are nothing to be ashamed of since they are a necessary component to life. Without it, you can’t learn to be humble, you don’t learn different ways of thinking or doing things and you just can’t grow as a person.

Once you learn a lesson, you will notice that life will test you to see if you passed the test. How do these tests look like? Well, the same situation will most likely come back again and that is the time to show what you have learned. Once you pass the test, you will notice that you won’t be repeating the same people nor scenario because you truly have learned your lesson.

You will always be given lessons and well, if you don’t learn the lesson right and pass the test, you will just be repeating the same course, over and over again with different people, different circumstances but the result is the same. So I encourage you to think about the following: what is one lesson that you are being pushed to learn? Are you meeting the same kinds of people over and over again? If so, what are you meant to learn? In what ways do you still have to grow? I guarantee you that if you master the lesson and pass the test, you won’t find yourself repeating courses.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Interesting Concept of “Breadcrumbing”

I have been hearing and reading lately about the concept of breadcrumbing. For those who don’t know this concept, what this basically means is the act of a person just texting you without any commitment, no phone calls and not seeing each other in person just to keep you hanging. Now, this refers more to dating but when I think about this concept, I would dare to say this is also seen in other relationships that are not only romantic. We are starting to see this concept spill over to friendships as well. Because relationships are at the core of one’s well-being, I will be discussing how detrimental this is when you allow this into your life.

Relationships are necessary for our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Without healthy relationships- let me put some emphasis on “healthy” because this is key- you will literally die while living in the sense that it is love that nurtures us. Healthy love. Once again, the key word is “healthy”.

So what does a healthy relationship look like? Healthy relationships are corresponded, meaning that you both want each other in your life, you both want each other’s company, you both reciprocate affection and effort. Let me repeat, you both reciprocate effort. What I mean with “effort” is that you both take the time to see each other, hang out, get to know each other and hear from each other. When I write “relationships”, I am not referring just to romantic relationships, I include ALL relationships- family and friends as well.

How does a healthy relationship feel like? It feels peaceful, joyous, happy, exciting, comfortable and safe. With “safe” I mean that you feel you can be yourself with the person. If you ever feel like you need to walk on egg shells, you have to hide a certain side of you, uncomfortable or you are wondering whether the other person feels the same way as you, that is not healthy. It’s not healthy because anything that makes you wonder or feel like you can’t be yourself creates doubt within you. Those who belong in your life will NOT make you feel doubtful about yourself.

When you allow someone in your life who only wants to text you, not see you when they can, shows no effort to make you a part of their life, that can hurt your self-concept. It can make you feel unappreciated and unloved because all they are offering you are breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs are not healthy at all. They are void of nutrition, apart from the fact that they are not filling. So when someone is only texting you and not taking the time to see you and get to know you, you are missing nutrients such as love, appreciation, acceptance, feeling and being included in their life. All these are nutrients that we need in order to feel and be good. Remember that as human beings we have a need to be needed and loved.

You do NOT deserve breadcrumbs! You deserve and NEED the full meal with the appetizers, the entree, the dessert and all that comes with a healthy, fulfilling meal! Remember that! Breadcrumbs are NEVER satisfying. When all you are accepting are breadcrumbs, you seriously need to question how you feel about yourself. You need to question what do you want out of that other person. You need to ask yourself what do you need. If a “friend” is only offering breadcrumbs, consider that an acquaintance, not a friend. Friendships are like a healthy meal- they are full and satisfying. If you don’t feel that way, it’s time to do some clean up when it comes to your social well-being. If a date is doing that with you, get rid of that s&%$ and move on! What that person is offering you has nothing to do with your value and all to do with what that person can offer which is NOTHING.

Breadcrumbing….it’s important to understand this concept so that you can know when someone is doing this to you. This is something to avoid accepting if you truly want great well-being. Remember, healthy meals are filling. Breadcrumbs….they are not filling at all!

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Purpose of Disappointments

Disappointments…..it’s just one of those things that we will get for as long as we live because they are a part of life. It sucks to be disappointed but they are a part of life and it is necessary to accept this. So if this is part of life, then what is the purpose of disappointments? That’s what I would like to discuss in today’s post.

There are different kinds of disappointments. Some disappointments will come from people, others from circumstances. Some will come from ourselves, believe it or not. There are many possible reasons as to what led to that disappointment such as expectations that one may have, needs that were not met, even miscommunication or no communication from the other person or even from yourself (unfortunately, miscommunication or no communication is a big one and it shouldn’t be this way).

It is important whenever you are disappointed to understand why you are disappointed and what led to that disappointment. This is going to shed some light as to what happened and what you can learn from it so that should something like this happen again, you will know how to respond. Life is wonderful in the sense that Life always gives us back the lessons that we must learn and it will test us to see if we actually learned our lesson or not.

Disappointments can feel like a sour experience. Depending on the degree of your expectations, or the feelings you have towards that person that disappointed you or depending on the circumstance is what will dictate how sour that experience will be for you. Emotions and your perception of what happened play a big role in how you experience things. By no means should you just brush the disappointment you feel under the rug as something insignificant. This is almost equivalent to you having a deep wound and covering it up with a Band-Aid hoping it will heal on its own. I always encourage to feel the pain, although it sucks, and take care of the pain.

I’ve said and wrote before that part of well-being is growth. In order to grow, changes are involved and where there is change, there is learning as well. Disappointments offer you an opportunity to grow in many ways that can make you a better person. It may suck that a friendship broke, a relationship is torn, an opportunity may seem lost, but I’m starting to realize certain things- those that are meant to stay in your life will stay, if a relationship means so much to you, both of you will work things out and opportunities are never lost.

Allow yourself to grow from that disappointment. Look at what you could have done differently, not just what that other person did wrong, but also look at what role you played in that situation. If an opportunity didn’t seem to be yours, that’s because there is something better that is yet to come. If you take everything that comes to you, you will not leave space for the thing that is truly for you. Disappointments have their purpose but it is up to you to let that purpose come forth.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.