The Different Ways of Being Healthy

I think we all know it’s important to be physically healthy. This is the most visible part of us, making it obvious the kind of lifestyle we have. For as much as taking care of our physical body is important, there are other ways to be healthy that are equally important if not even more since when these parts of us are not healthy, the physical body will suffer as well. It is important to be healthy mentally and emotionally and this is what this post will be about.

First I would like to discuss how can you know when you are not healthy mentally and emotionally. One of the most simple ways is by looking around you. Does your life reflect what you deserve? What kind of relationships do you have with others? What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Do you have any kind of destructive, unhealthy relationship in your life? How are you feeling most of the time? All these questions are indicators as to how is your mental and emotional state.

In other words, if you block out your own happiness, if you are living in fear, if you are being pessimistic, if you push away good things or people, if you live in the past and it is a hurtful past, if you allow negativity, then you are unhealthy mentally and emotionally.

What many may not realize is that for as much as one may want to put a band-aid on a huge wound or ignore the real problems in their life, one can NEVER reach full happiness. Full happiness comes from dealing with your issues when your issues are preventing good in your life. Yes, it is hard to open that luggage and go through everything and throw away what is not serving you but that’s when you have to ask yourself if it’s serving you to carry such a heavy luggage to begin with.

What does it mean to be healthy mentally and emotionally? It means to feel good about yourself and your life, to accept abundance, to accept and let in happiness, to know you are deserving, to know that you deserve to be loved right by others, to allow people who help you grow and who truly love you. It is mentally having the capacity to do away with things, situations and people who don’t serve you. It is being able to not stress what doesn’t matter. It is being able to focus more on the positive than the negative. It is doing whatever possible to develop mental and emotional agility in order to bounce right back from any disappointment. Being emotionally healthy is being able to love yourself even when others may not love you, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes and being able to accept yourself even when others may not accept you. It is you loving yourself more than anyone else. This act of love is a must since it is this kind of love that will prevent you from allowing situations, things or people who don’t make you feel good.

Being physically healthy indeed is very important but one can not forget how extremely important it is to be healthy also mentally and emotionally. When mentally and emotionally you are not right, there is no way to be right physically as well since all three parts are connected. If you feel your life isn’t the way you want it to be, I encourage you to look into these two parts of you and if you need intervention, by all means go see a psychologist or therapist. This is an investment that you are making in yourself and you are worth the investment. Your mind and emotions are assets to be taking care of, so make sure you do what you can to have these parts of you healthy.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Failing Your Courses?

Have you ever noticed that you get the same experience over and over again, just with different people or even different circumstances? Sometimes these experiences are not even pleasant experiences. In situations like these, it is easy to believe that one may be cursed or just have bad luck or perhaps one is a magnet to those things. Have you ever considered that most likely this is occurring because you are actually failing your courses?

Yes, many times we fail many courses- the courses of life. You will forever be a student in the school called Life where every person you meet, every experience, every disappointment, every failure are your teachers. Many of them are great teachers, it’s just a matter of perspective.

I learned the hard way that indeed people do reflect the way we feel about ourselves. How so? Well, if you meet someone who mistreats you and you allow it, that person is teaching you that you need to learn to love yourself. The key phrase in the previous sentence is “you allow it”. This is because you don’t have to be a bad person for bad people to come into your life. Whether you have a good heart or not, you may encounter some people who are not nice, this is not a reflection of you at all. What DOES become a reflection of you is when you ALLOW them to treat you in a way you don’t deserve.

A bad experience can be a huge blessing and a preparation for bigger things that are yet to come. If an experience didn’t go the way you expected or hoped, you learning to see what went wrong and what you could have done different can help you understand what to do better the next time. When you think about what went wrong and what you could have done different, it is important that you do this without any judgement towards yourself. This is important because otherwise analyzing what went wrong and what you could have done differently can backfire you. It backfires you because you end up being hard on yourself.

A disappoint can be a real eye opener. It’s awful to go on in life with blindfolds on, not seeing what is in front of you. A disappointment prepares you for a bigger task and a bigger responsibility that may lie ahead. This is why disappointments can be true blessings.

A person you meet can teach you something you needed to learn or they can tell you something you needed to hear. Even someone that gets you on your nerves is teaching you something whether that be patience, how to mold yourself, teaching you to become more tough, etc. So learn to view even those you can’t stand as blessings because they too serve a purpose in your life. That is part of developing that mental and emotional agility that you need in life.

A failure shows you what went wrong and what to do differently next time. Failures are nothing to be ashamed of since they are a necessary component to life. Without it, you can’t learn to be humble, you don’t learn different ways of thinking or doing things and you just can’t grow as a person.

Once you learn a lesson, you will notice that life will test you to see if you passed the test. How do these tests look like? Well, the same situation will most likely come back again and that is the time to show what you have learned. Once you pass the test, you will notice that you won’t be repeating the same people nor scenario because you truly have learned your lesson.

You will always be given lessons and well, if you don’t learn the lesson right and pass the test, you will just be repeating the same course, over and over again with different people, different circumstances but the result is the same. So I encourage you to think about the following: what is one lesson that you are being pushed to learn? Are you meeting the same kinds of people over and over again? If so, what are you meant to learn? In what ways do you still have to grow? I guarantee you that if you master the lesson and pass the test, you won’t find yourself repeating courses.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Balance Between Giving

I realize that other people can tremendously give meaning to our life. It does because we are social beings and as social beings, we have a need to love others and be loved. In order to live a much more meaningful life, it is essential to be a giver, not just a taker. When one hears the verb “giving”, it can easily be thought of as giving to others, however, there are two types of giving that I would like to discuss in today’s post.

The two types of giving is the one when you give to others and the second is the one when you give to yourself. It’s the balance between the two the key to having a truly meaningful life.

We are meant to share what we have- share who we are, what we know, how we feel, what we possess, the love we have, etc. Keeping all this to ourselves is not only selfish, it will also leave us feeling empty and this is because at the end of the day, even up to the final hours of our life, it is the relationships that we have and the quality of those relationships what will mean the most to us.

There is a sense of satisfaction and even completeness to a certain degree when we give to others. By sharing, we are leaving a part of ourselves with those people and we’re adding to their life. Sharing gives us a sense of belonging as well. The one thing to keep in mind when sharing with others is that it is important to share the right things with the right people. With this I mean that when you share your most valuable possessions- that being your body, your heart, your mind, your emotions- it is important to share them with people who care about you. The body part refers more to when you are in a romantic relationship. Your heart, mind and emotions go for both romantic partners and friendships. One thing you will learn if you haven’t learned already is that not everyone will be worthy of your most valuable possessions. When you share with those who can’t value these things, this is when it is easy to feel empty inside. It is the sharing them with the right people that will make you feel good and full.

Just as it is equally important to give to others, in order for you to give to others it is a must to first give to yourself. You can’t serve from an empty glass and this also is the same when it comes to you. You can’t give to others when you don’t give to yourself. First be very giving to yourself- share with yourself love, respect, kindness, goodness, the best stuff, the best food, etc. It is in the you giving to yourself that you will have more than enough for others. You will be overflowing with goodness for others. One thing I must add is that if you are giving to others so that others can give to you, that is a BIG mistake. This actual giving will leave you feeling empty because first of all, you are taking from the little that you have to give to others. Second, because we are all energy, people can sense when we give in order to receive. People can sense when we are not loving to ourselves or when we give out of desperateness. So giving to yourself FIRST is a MUST.

Balance between these two types of giving is a must because although there is great satisfaction in giving to others, you can’t truly give to others from the heart if you first don’t give to yourself.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-alm%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

How to Deal With Grief Without Letting It Consume You

Yesterday I was asked the question how do I manage to still do all the things that I am doing when my dad’s passing is so recent. It is this question that inspires me to write this post.

When one is grieving, it is easy to let yourself go, to not do much, to not care for yourself, to cry all the time and think about all the times spent with the person that passed. It is only normal to feel all this and this feeling is more intense depending on how close you were with the person as well as how long have you known that person. Know that it is important to grieve because repressing this emotion just makes your process long and hard, perhaps even harder than it already is. There is no easy way to handle grief but I can share with you what I think about it and how I handle it.

It’s important to know that the person that passed is always with you, it’s just that they are now with you in a different form. Unfortunately, death is a normal process of life and accepting this is important. Even though I can’t see my father physically, I can still feel him and this in itself provides for me a certain comfort.

In order to handle grief in a way that doesn’t consume your everyday life, it is necessary to give yourself space to feel the grief. You do this by giving yourself what I like to call some “sad time”. What this means is that you give yourself space to feel your emotions, to cry if you have to and you feel this way for a certain amount of time. Once that time is up, you wipe your tears and move on with the day. I do this because it helps me feel better, that way I don’t keep in the sadness of my dad’s passing to myself. This also allows me to be present for work since I am not carrying with me that hurt to work. This is what giving yourself some “sad time” can do. When you deprive yourself of this, you bottle up what you feel and it is only a matter of time for it to spill over to other areas of your life. Also, by not putting a times up on your “sad time”, you allow that sadness to take momentum which then ruins your day. How does it ruin your day? Well, sadness paralyzes you. Sadness makes you lose your center and when that happens, you can’t think with clarity, you can’t make the right choices, etc. This is not what you want. Despite the sadness, it’s important to take control of your emotions. Give your emotions some space but not for too long.

I remember the promise that I made my dad and he asked me not to cry so much for him. I can understand why he said this to me and that’s because he wants his kids and wife to be strong. Sadness, when it is prolonged for too long, weakens you in every way. What keeps a household strong is the strength and I know that just like him, if I ever have kids of my own, I want to encourage my kids to be strong themselves long after I’m gone and I too would encourage them not to cry so much for me.

I know I honor my dad with my strength and courage to move on. I honor him by being the best version of me that I can be because I am an extension of him on this earth. You honor those who pass by your strength and courage to move on and being the best you that you can be. If it’s one of your parents that passed, you are an extension of them on this earth. Be the best extension of them. Make them proud of you. Honor the dreams that you told them you have for yourself. It is this knowing that I am an extension of him that gives me the courage to move on.

There is no easy way to handle grief and there are several stages of grief that unfortunately one must go through the stages. But just know that you honor that person with your strength and courage. Know that they want you to be strong. Know that they want you to be happy. Of course you will miss them, of course you will want to cry because you wish you had them one more time but know that they are always with you even in spirit.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store athttps://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Difference Between Deserving and Entitlement

Last week I wrote about the topic of deserving and I continued to explain how you are deserving of anything that you need and want. I wrote that when it comes to deserving, what really determines this is how you think and feel about what you deserve and this is closely tied to your self-concept and self-esteem. Because of this tie, this definitely has an effect on your overall well-being. However, there is a fine line and it is important to notice the fine line. This fine line is the feeling of entitlement which is the opposite from deserving and it comes from a different place than deserving does. Feeling a sense of entitlement is not beneficial at all to your well-being nor the well-being of others and this is what I will be writing today.

Deserving comes from a place of having a healthy and balanced self-esteem. It comes from knowing that you are a lovable person with so much to offer to this world and that being the unique human being that you are makes you valuable already. Entitlement comes from the ego, it comes from a place of insecurity, from a place of egotism and all this weakens you as a person. How so? There is no way you are in control of yourself when you are letting your ego rule you. I did a Google search on the definition of “entitlement” and I think this definition clues us in to the difference between deserving and entitlement. According to Google “entitlement” means “the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment”. There is your clue-“privileges and special treatment“. You are deserving of good things but it is not healthy to think that you deserve special treatment in comparison to others.

How does feeling entitled hurt your well-being as well as others? Think about this, we are all inherently selfish. This isn’t necessarily bad, but we are that way. We always look at others for what we can get from them. This can be both good and bad, it all depends. Because of this fact, a person that feels entitled may act in ways that are not nice towards others, they may behave as if they are better than others and at the end of the day, who wants to be with someone like that?! This kind of thinking and behaving affects your social well-being.

In this world we are meant to help one another and grow each other. Being a person who feels entitled doesn’t allow you to give much to others because all you can think of is me, me, me. That can cloud you from your sense of purpose. That can prevent you from living a meaningful life because part of having a meaningful life is having a purposeful life. Also, a person who feels entitled doesn’t have much beautiful words to say to others. Even in the most minor way, you do have an effect on others. Why not make that effect a good one?

Entitlement can make you become intolerant of others. How so? Well, when you feel entitlement, because you are coming from a place of me, me, me, you don’t have the empathy to understand others. A perfect example of this is when someone who goes to the restaurant acting as if he/she is the only customer the waiter is serving. A person who feels entitled would be so impatient and even act mean towards the waiter if he/she feels they took long.

Deserving and entitlement….there is a fine line between the two because on the one hand you are deserving of great things in life but it is important to keep that deserving in check so that you don’t cross that line to entitlement. Never think of yourself as better or more deserving than others because that is not so. Other people are just as important as you are regardless of their economic status, of their physical condition, of the ethnicity, etc. If you somehow find yourself crossing that line, for your well-being as well as the well-being of others, get back to knowing that you are deserving and feel grateful for the blessings that you have.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

What Do You Think/Feel You Deserve?

Today I would like to write about deserving and what does it take to be deserving of anything. I’m going to start off by asking you, what do you think/feel you deserve? That’s right, this is this week’s question and I ask you to take a deep look within to know your answer.

The reason why it is important to know what you think and feel you deserve is because this has a strong correlation with your overall well-being. How so? Whatever you feel or think you deserve is what you will get. So if you think and feel that all you deserve is mistreatment from others, then guess what, that’s exactly what you will get. If instead you know, think and feel that you deserve love and respect, you will get just that. Your overall well-being whether you realize it or not, is a reflection of what you think and feel you deserve. When you know you deserve better, you don’t accept anything less. This is why the topic of deserving can not be left out when it comes to your well-being.

So with all this said, what does it take to be deserving of anything? It is your birthright to be loved, receive love, give love, be healthy, be happy, be wealthy, etc. So it is not a matter of whether there is something that you must be in order to be deserving but it does take you believing with your heart and mind that you are deserving of anything that you want. The most important element here is YOU. This whole act of deserving has nothing to do with your parents, with your friends, with what others think and all to do with how you think and feel about yourself. If you don’t feel deserving, it is important that you work on your self-concept and self-esteem. There is no way around it. This is necessary work for your overall well-being.

Deserving or not deserving….that may seem to be the question but that question is only in your head because you were and always will be deserving of the things that you want. It is a matter of what you think/feel you deserve. So with this, I encourage to start knowing with your mind and heart that you are deserving of all that you want and need.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Secrets to Strength and Clarity

Strength and clarity- two key ingredients needed whenever one deals with very difficult times. Strength is needed because it is a must to be strong enough to not break apart but yet strong enough that at the same time you can still become a better person as a result of what you are going through rather than allowing your heart to harden as a result. You need clarity because it is during difficult times that one has to make very hard decisions and in order to make the right decisions, you need clarity.

With this said, what are the secrets to strength and clarity? The secrets are having a good mind, keeping your emotions in check, compartmentalizing and giving things space.

Having a good mind is extremely important. Without a good mind, you have the wrong perspective, you make bad decisions and everything in your life will reflect what is in your mind. This is because indeed everything starts in the mind. It is a must that you train your mind to be how you need it to be.

Keeping your emotions in check is a must because wherever your emotions go, your body will follow. When all you are feeling are negative emotions, you also make bad decisions and will have the wrong perspective, both not conducive to great well-being. When emotionally you are not right, you won’t want to choose the right foods to nourish your body. Eventually your physical body will suffer as well. We are emotional beings and as emotional beings, we make decisions based on our emotions. This is the very reason why you need to keep your emotions in check.

One thing to learn from men that I think should not be a man thing is compartmentalizing. Men have a fascinating way of separating things, events and emotions and this is a great survival tool. The reason for this is because by compartmentalizing, you don’t spill over other areas of your life the stress that one area of your life is causing you. Compartmentalizing basically is separating mentally and emotionally the different areas of your life. This is a challenge at first if you normally mesh every area of your life but it can be mastered.

It is important to give yourself space- space to feel your emotions, space to be there for yourself, space to tend to your needs, space away from the things that hurt you. The reason for this is to maintain your mental and emotional sanity. Space allows things to flow freely because when you allow things to flow freely, they have a way of getting better. For instance, when you give yourself space to grieve, you are letting that all out which will help you feel better. When instead you bottle your emotions in, it is only a matter of time for that to explode like a volcano. This is why space is very important.

Strength and clarity are two things that although are very important in difficult times it can be a challenge to have, trust me, I know. However, if you work on the ingredients needed to have both strength and clarity, you will surely have both.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.