What to Look For When Choosing People For Your Life

This post is especially important for me and for everyone but this area of our life seems to be one that we neglect or may not see its importance. One area that we constantly overlook when it comes to our well-being is our social life. Our social life when it comes to our well-being includes ALL relationships- family, friends and even our romantic partners. Because this area impacts greatly our well-being, today I would like to discuss what to look for when choosing people for your life.

Each and every one of us are different. However, there are certain basic things that we all need from everyone that we allow into our life and there are certain things that one must take into consideration when choosing friends, the family that we choose to spend a lot of time with and especially when choosing your romantic mate.

First, choose people with integrity. The definition of integrity is whole and honest. With this said, choose people who are whole because those are the people who will have so much love to give to you. These are people who have nothing but beautiful things to share about themselves. Also choose people who are honest. Honesty is a big one because to be honest with others, one must first be honest with themselves and sometimes being honest with oneself can be difficult for some.

Choose people that care about you for you, not for what you can offer them materialistically or anything of that sort. People who choose what you have to offer materialistically and not what you have to offer mentally, emotionally and spiritually will not last in your life. As a matter of fact, those people the moment you cut off whatever it is that they came after will disappear from your life and that is great because you don’t need them anyways. Those that love you for you won’t care if you don’t have anything material to offer to them. Your presence alone will be enough and what a gift your presence can be!

Choose people who love themselves and their life. You can only give what you have so when you have no love for you and your life, you can’t possibly have love for others. Those that love themselves will be able to provide you with a healthy love.

Choose people who are forgiving and have compassion. In every relationship, meaning interaction that you have with others, there will be, let me repeat, there will be disagreements, arguments and moments where you will be upset with the person. Holding on to a grudge or anger doesn’t serve anyone. A mature person has the capacity to see both sides of the story and be able to forgive and move on. There are certain circumstances where there is an exception like when someone betrays you or shows qualities that are big no-nos and you just simply can’t tolerate that in your life. For everything else, choose someone who knows how to forgive, have compassion and understanding.

Relationships are one of the pillars of well-being. It is important to know how to choose the people that you allow in your life as well as what to look for when choosing those people.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Don’t Become Damaged Goods

I had a conversation with my friend Ozzy about something personal to me and I just loved how he used the term “damaged goods”. “Well, what in the world does this have to do with my well-being?” you may wonder and you will know how as you continue reading.

Part of life is hurt. With every good, there is bad. For every negative there is a positive. Indeed, life is like a battery in this way. There comes a point in our life where we may be hurt by someone or some experience and sometimes that hurt is an unexpected hurt. In these cases, it is easy to become bitter, it is easy to be sad, that hurt rules us and if we’re not careful, we can end up hurting others because of that hurt. No matter what that hurt may be or who caused that hurt, don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.

Damaged good are just that- they are goods that appear to be good but if you take a closer look, you will realize there is some damage to it. There are certain hurts such as betrayal, lying, etc. that if we don’t heal those wounds, they can damage us, stopping us from any good that can come our way, making us hurt others even if we don’t mean to hurt others. As my soulmate friend Dawn said to me once, “hurt people hurt people”. When you are hurt, all you have to give is hurt. The only way out of this is to admit that you have an issue to resolve, give yourself the appropriate time and space to heal and do your best to be the best you that you can be. Forgive that other person for hurting you and forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be in that situation or for whatever role you played.

The hurt that you went through or are going through is an opportunity for growth. Don’t allow that hurt to shrink you into something less that you are meant to be and have. You are the one who rules over your hurt, not the other way around. It is up to you to decide to rule over your hurt and grow from it. In reality, hurt was never intended to shrink you or to close yourself up, it was meant to be lessons to grow from and become better. The more you start to look at your hurt from this perspective, the better you will be as a person in every sense.

I want to encourage you NOW to start looking at your hurt as lessons. The people you meet and life itself are your teachers. Don’t allow yourself to become damaged goods.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.