Why Selfishness Is Necessary

Like anything in life, everything can be good or bad, it all depends on the context in which it is in and the degree in which it is used. In today’s blog post, I would like to discuss something that perhaps for some it may seem as if I’m promoting something that is narcissistic but on the contrary, it is one key ingredient for your overall well-being.

Flight Attendants instruct passenger during the safety video to first adjust their mask before helping others. This is because how in the world can you help someone else if you first don’t help yourself? It’s impossible to help someone else if you first are not helping yourself. It is impossible to serve others when you don’t serve yourself first.

You can only give what you have. So if you want to give the best of you, you have to give the best to yourself. To do this, you need to have some degree of selfishness. The kind of selfishness that I am referring to is not the one where you only think of yourself and no one else. The one that I am referring to is the one where you think of your well-being first. It’s the kind of selfishness where you think of what makes you happy first. It’s the one where you have healthy boundaries for yourself and for others. Yes, even you need healthy boundaries for yourself! This is because many times we can be our own worst enemies.

Being selfish allows you to fill your cup first. You can’t serve from an empty jar, same thing if you are empty yourself. You have nothing to offer to others and so to serve others you need to serve yourself. This is what will allow you to give to others because you have in abundance.

Being selfish allows you to take care of yourself first by meeting your own needs. When you meet your needs, you are good. You feel taken care of. You feel great. You feel loved. Feeling loved, full and taken care of is so basic to your overall well-being. As adults, it’s important to remember that it is us who are responsible for our well-being. When we take care of our own responsibilities, this is when we will be able to be better versions of ourselves.

Being selfish allows you the space to think of yourself first. In today’s world, we are wrongly taught that thinking only of ourselves is bad. We were not designed to be of service for others at the cost of our well-being. No! Yes, it’s important to serve others as long as it is not hurting our well-being. For this, we need that space to think of ourselves first. It is from this position that you will be of greater service to others because there won’t be any resentment or hurt feelings in the long run.

So being selfish doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can actually be a beautiful thing but it depends on your perspective of it. If you find yourself thinking and feeling that being selfish is wrong, think about whether not being selfish is hurting you in any way. If it is, then I encourage you to reconsider your thoughts on being selfish.  This one change in perspective can make a tremendous difference in your overall well-being.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

 

 

 

Where Are You Hanging Out?

You may read this topic and think that I am referring to where exactly are you hanging out physically as in your environment and although this may be important for purposes of influence, this is not what I am referring to.

There is a world that we tend to take for granted. A world that many of us may not be as aware as we should be. A world and an environment that truly creates the most impact in our life. A world that can literally allow us to have everything we want or it can literally sabotage us from having everything that we want. That world that I am referring to is the one that you hang out in and that is your inner world.

That’s right! I dare to go there because where we decide to hang out in regards to our inner world will be reflected in our outer world. Where we decide to hang out will determine how we will view things. Where we decide to hang out will determine whether we will respond to things or we will react to things. There is a difference between responding and reacting and I can discuss that on another blog post. Where we decide to hang out plays a big role in our overall well-being.

So let’s discuss this for a minute. Where are you hanging out? Know that where you decide to be mentally is totally up to you. What I mean with this is you decide what beliefs you will have. You decide what your thoughts will be. You decide the self talk you will have in your mind. You decide!

Know that where you decide to be emotionally is totally up to you. What I mean with this is you decide how you will feel. You decide how you will feel when others do things. You decide how you will feel when things don’t work out the way you want them to work out. You decide how you will feel during the day. You decide!

Know that where you decide to be physically is totally up to you. What I mean with this is you decide how energetic your body will be based on the way you treat it. You decide how you will respond to what your body signals to you. You decide what relationship you will have with your body. You decide!

If you find yourself constantly feeling sad, depressed, anxious, frustrated, etc., you have to question where have you been hanging out mentally and emotionally. You are what you are thinking and feeling. You are what you decide to be and feel. You need to remember this always. If you constantly find yourself feeling tired, lack of energy, and with no desire to do anything, you have to question where are you hanging out physically. Are you taking care of your body the way you are supposed to? What is your relationship with your body?

Where you hang out plays a big role in your overall well-being. You can’t take for granted where your thoughts are, your emotions are, how your relationship with your body is. You can’t afford to take any of this for granted. If you constantly find yourself struggling to find your peace and happiness, then I highly recommend you take the FREE course called, The Path to Your Nirvana™, where I guide you through five steps all geared toward having the courage to live your own happiness. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2QbBZW4, put your name, email and choose which language you prefer since I also offer this course in Spanish.

If you find yourself feeling emotions that have turned toxic for you, allow this blog post to encourage you to look into where you are hanging out. You having this level of awareness will do wonders for your overall well-being.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2QbBZW4, put your name, email address and select which language you would like the course.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

It’s Important to Laugh at Yourself

I shared this message on the Facebook page, @AuraEMartinezCoach, but I will share it here as well since I think it is a very important message to share.

I would first like to share that Monday, March 4th I went to Cancun, Mexico for a personal development and training event because I truly believe that in order for me to be able to offer the best to you, I have to treat myself with the best and be coached and mentored. The day that I arrived, I was so sleepy since I was already jet lagged. On top of that, I woke up very early for that flight so I hardly slept that night.

Going straight to the chase, I was so out of it that day that when I arrived, I thought I left my room key on the bench that’s in front of the restaurant where I ate that day. It wasn’t until the waiter asked me my room number that I realized, looking in my purse, that I didn’t have the key. So the waiter checked the bench, it wasn’t there. She checked inside the menu the key wasn’t there. At that point I was a bit freaked out at the thought that someone else took the key because I was convinced I had left it on the bench. So I asked the waiter to put the food on hold, which I already ordered, and went to the reception desk to change rooms. That’s when I was given another key to activate the new one and deactivate the old one. When I got to the room because I wanted to activate the new key, the old key that I thought I left on the bench was in the bathroom.

Then for dinner, I went out with my business bestie and when it came time to pay, yes I had pesos but my mind just couldn’t do any conversion anything or anything foreign, again, I was so out of it. So for some reason I didn’t see the 500 pesos bills, I thought they were 100 pesos, didn’t see the 5. The waiter thanked me so much and she was so kind to let me know that she couldn’t accept the tip because it was too high of a tip. That’s when I realized that I had given a $100 dollars tip basically. Yeah, I know!

Theeeennnn, when I arrived to my room, I had all my mini liquids in a Ziploc bag and in it was a clear nail polish. So the bag just slipped out of my hand, fell on the floor and the nail polish broke. So there was clear nail polish all over the little bottles inside the Ziploc bag and the french manicure that I had done got all smeared because of the clear nail polish. There goes my french manicure! And to top it off, I went downstairs in the hotel to the spa place to see if they sell clear nail polish. Well, they had every other color EXCEPT the clear nail polish, of course. At this point at the spa I’m trying on colors that may be close to a clear nail polish and I found one and tried to put some on and as I was doing that, the lady at the spa was like “You can’t do that ma’am because that is for the spa”.

Looking back it was such a comical day. I just laughed the whole day at the whole situation because even though I was in that situation, it was still funny. So the message I want to share with you is that it’s important to learn how to laugh at yourself.

It’s important because life is also about you making a fool out of yourself. It’s about hiccups. It’s about things not going perfect. It’s about disappointments. When you expect things to go exactly how you want them to go, things will go south pretty fast because you will feel that life is not meeting your expectations. Instead, choose to believe and remember that life is ALWAYS meeting your expectations no matter what. Choose to forgive yourself for your mistakes or things not going right. Choose to laugh whenever you make a fool out of yourself. Choose to know that it is ok if you don’t know this or that. And if someone says something stupid, laugh. What other people say is NONE of your business. What other people think is NONE of your business.

The faster you can laugh at all the things that go wrong in your life, the better you will feel about things and things rather than go down, they will start going up. Know that you have a choice in your thoughts and beliefs. Just like I mentioned on my social media, what are you choosing to think and feel today? That matters.

Now I have to mention that if you find that it is a challenge to laugh at yourself when things don’t go right, then there is something else going on that you may not be aware. I can’t emphasize enough how beneficial the FREE course, The Path to Your Nirvana™, will be for you in order to uncover what is stopping you from your unique happiness. It will help you uncover blocks that perhaps you are not aware that you have. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2QbBZW4, put your name, email address and choose which language you prefer.

So, I would like to encourage you to learn to laugh at yourself when things don’t go right, when you mess up, when you act funny, etc. This will add tremendously to your well-being in ways that you just can’t imagine.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2QbBZW4, put your name, email address and select which language you would like the course.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

Overwhelmed: A Plague to Your Well-being

Feeling overwhelmed can be very disabling and it is precisely for this reason that I must discuss this on this blog.

Well-being is about joy, balance, harmony, good energy and loving life. Feeling overwhelmed takes away from all this and that’s when ailments can start. If you are feeling sick, tired most of the time, mentally clouded and a lack of purpose and joy, ask yourself if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

There are many reasons one can feel overwhelmed, one of them being having so much to do. I do want to emphasize that feeling overwhelmed is not equivalent to being busy. A good friend of mine, Dawn, brought up a very important distinction during one of our conversations and it is this- being busy isn’t equivalent to being productive. Why do I feel it is important to mention this? Because perhaps your feeling of overwhelm comes from being busy of not being productive.

When feeling overwhelmed, it is important to understand the cause. Is it all the responsibilities that you have that causes this feeling? If so, why? Is it that there are changes that you want to occur? If so, what are these changes? Is it a relationship that you currently have that makes you feel overwhelmed? If so, why is that?

Many times the feeling of overwhelm comes from some dissatisfaction that we currently have and are not aware of it. This is why I have stated over and over again that it is important to pay attention to your emotions. It is important to embrace them. They are feedback from your soul. By ignoring your emotions, you are ignoring important information from your true essence.

When feeling overwhelmed it is important to embrace it, sit with it and understand it. Once you take the time to understand it, you will know what steps to take in order to feel better.

So if you are currently feel overwhelmed, I want to encourage you to embrace it, sit with it and understand it. Don’t avoid feeling this way because otherwise you will be missing on important info that can lead to greater change and well-being.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Where Does Peace Start?

Peace, I would dare to say, is at the core of well-being. This is because without peace, you can’t be centered. Without peace, you can’t have balance. Without peace, you can’t make the right choices. Without peace, you make yourself vulnerable to feelings that can ruin any good in your life.

Peace is one of the pillars of well-being, so with this said, where does peace start? It starts with you first. Before peace can start in your home, before peace can start in any relationship, that peace needs to start first within you. This is because when you have peace within you, that is a peace that you carry with you no matter where you are, where you go, no matter any relationship you are in. When you have peace within you, that is something that you are able to take with you anywhere and you emanate everywhere.

Peace is not something that depends on others or something else although other people or things can contribute to that peace or can even try to take that peace away. Ultimately it is you who dictates whether or not that is something that you will have in your life. It is you who decides if you will let only things and people that contribute to that peace. This is because we are the ones who allow things and people into our life.

Where can one start to achieve peace? It starts with awareness. Awareness of the self is essential to one’s well-being. You achieve peace when you know who you truly are, when you understand what triggers certain emotions so that you can then steer yourself towards the direction in life that you want to take. It starts with understanding that it is you who create your life, it is you who decides what you will feel, it is you who decides whether you will let in goodness, that it is the relationship with yourself that matters most. It starts with working on any issues that you may have so that you can then be fully open to goodness. No one else can do this for you. No one else can do the work for you. No one else can give you the love that you can only give yourself. Yes, other people can contribute to that happiness, other people can add to your peace but no one can fully make you happy, no one can fully give you peace. That ultimately starts with you.

I would like to encourage you with today’s post to do only things that give you peace, to always strive to have peace within you and anything that takes away from that peace, rather than running away from it, try to find out what is it about it that takes your peace away. It is that self awareness the key to your happiness and peace that you need.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

It’s Important to Grow Some Balls

In today’s post, I’m changing the meaning of growing balls. When reading “growing balls” one may think of courage but this is not what I’m referring to. “Growing balls” means to toughen up, to be an adult and to be mature.

I will start off this post by sharing that about a week ago, I just had to confront someone, and I have to admit it was not pretty, that just pissed off both someone else and I. This person who I will call Jane, had an attitude with us and just seemed off. At one point, I had enough of her that I had to call her off and I asked her in a tone that was not very nice “What is wrong with you?!”. Jane proceeded to continue to get on our nerves and then broke down with someone else and expressed how she was very sad because her boyfriend broke up with her. That person that she confided with came up to me and said how she is crying and is sad because her boyfriend broke up with her and I expressed how I didn’t give a damn what is going on with her. I stated how she needs to grow some freaking balls because it is no one’s fault that her boyfriend broke up with her. Now you can see where this title comes from.

The reason why I honestly didn’t care and had to express that she needs to grow some balls is because it is important to remember that EVERYONE, not just you, has a story, a baggage, a load that they are carrying. It is NOT other people’s fault what happens in your life and it is certainly not fair to take out on others the hurt that you feel. Little did Jane knew that on that same day it was a month since my dad’s passing and that the other person who she pissed off his father is very ill. Jane had no right having an attitude with us because if that’s the case, then I too have a “right” to have an attitude with others because my dad passed away. The other person too had a “right” to have an attitude with others because his dad is very ill. I hope you can understand why it is wrong to take out on others your frustration and sadness.

Doing so makes people become distant from you. I’m pretty sure it is not your intention to push people away but you do so if you take your frustration and sadness out on others. It makes others resentful of you and besides, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be thought of as someone who is not nice to be around.

So what is the solution when you feel so much sadness, frustration or even anger? It is not the easiest solution but it is a must and it is to grow some balls. You need to toughen up in life because life is composed of many aspects that unfortunately includes things that we may not like. Break ups are hard but everyone has gone through some heart break. Death is a part of life because it is the cycle of life. Illness is not easy but it is a must to be able to handle it in the best way possible. It is ok to feel sad, angry and frustrated- you are only human. But it is NOT ok to take out your frustration, anger or sadness on others.

Part of being an adult is being mature. It is a must to not act out or lash out on others. It is a must to take things as being a part of life. It is a must to try to look at the positive of things. It is a must to compartmentalize so that you don’t spill onto other areas of your life your frustration.

If the last two paragraphs don’t motivate you to grow some balls, at least remember that everyone has a baggage that they are carrying as well. Some people are better at hiding their heavy luggage than others and this may be the reason that you may not see the load that they are carrying. It is important to be empathetic because you never know other people’s story. I think if most of us could remember this, this could greatly add to our well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Feeling Frustrated and Miserable In Life? Let This Feeling Propel You To Higher Levels

I am one to advocate that emotions are meant to be felt and understood. Not ignored nor treated as if they are just “emotions”. Our emotions are an indicator of where we are in life. Just like a thermometer measures the body temperature, our emotions measure how our soul is doing. It is an indicator of whether we are aligned with what our soul wants. With this said, if you are feeling frustrated and miserable in life, rather than ignore these feelings, allow them to propel you to a higher level in life.

When feeling frustrated and miserable, don’t take this out on others. Don’t go walking around feeling and acting miserable (this in itself is pitiful and attracts more situations that will make you more miserable). Rather, question where this misery is coming from and do something about it. Continuously feeling miserable isn’t going to do anything to change your situation. It is understanding and taking action what is going to make the difference. I advocate understanding oneself but when trying to make changes in your life, understanding alone won’t help. You need to take action as well in order to see those changes. Don’t expect situations to change. Don’t expect others to change. You must change. Allow that frustration and misery to be the fuel that will give you the courage to make those changes. I know first hand that changes can be scary and that taking action can feel uncomfortable but it is a must.

Part of well-being is making adjustments when things are not conducive to our overall health. Although complaining can be healthy because it helps release some of that emotion, complaining all the time about the same thing and not doing anything about it is useless. What’s the use complaining about something that you’re not doing anything about it to change?! It’s useless because the situation will never change unless you take action and constantly complaining robs energy from you that you can utilize to take action. I would like to clarify that there’s nothing wrong with complaining. However, complaining with no action is useless.

Feeling frustration doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s a good indication that something isn’t right in your life. Pay attention to that frustration and try to see where that frustration is coming from. Rather than viewing that frustration in a negative way, let that frustration propel you to higher levels in life. This, I guarantee you, will skyrocket your overall well-being. And isn’t this something that you would like?!