Why Selfishness Is Necessary

Like anything in life, everything can be good or bad, it all depends on the context in which it is in and the degree in which it is used. In today’s blog post, I would like to discuss something that perhaps for some it may seem as if I’m promoting something that is narcissistic but on the contrary, it is one key ingredient for your overall well-being.

Flight Attendants instruct passenger during the safety video to first adjust their mask before helping others. This is because how in the world can you help someone else if you first don’t help yourself? It’s impossible to help someone else if you first are not helping yourself. It is impossible to serve others when you don’t serve yourself first.

You can only give what you have. So if you want to give the best of you, you have to give the best to yourself. To do this, you need to have some degree of selfishness. The kind of selfishness that I am referring to is not the one where you only think of yourself and no one else. The one that I am referring to is the one where you think of your well-being first. It’s the kind of selfishness where you think of what makes you happy first. It’s the one where you have healthy boundaries for yourself and for others. Yes, even you need healthy boundaries for yourself! This is because many times we can be our own worst enemies.

Being selfish allows you to fill your cup first. You can’t serve from an empty jar, same thing if you are empty yourself. You have nothing to offer to others and so to serve others you need to serve yourself. This is what will allow you to give to others because you have in abundance.

Being selfish allows you to take care of yourself first by meeting your own needs. When you meet your needs, you are good. You feel taken care of. You feel great. You feel loved. Feeling loved, full and taken care of is so basic to your overall well-being. As adults, it’s important to remember that it is us who are responsible for our well-being. When we take care of our own responsibilities, this is when we will be able to be better versions of ourselves.

Being selfish allows you the space to think of yourself first. In today’s world, we are wrongly taught that thinking only of ourselves is bad. We were not designed to be of service for others at the cost of our well-being. No! Yes, it’s important to serve others as long as it is not hurting our well-being. For this, we need that space to think of ourselves first. It is from this position that you will be of greater service to others because there won’t be any resentment or hurt feelings in the long run.

So being selfish doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can actually be a beautiful thing but it depends on your perspective of it. If you find yourself thinking and feeling that being selfish is wrong, think about whether not being selfish is hurting you in any way. If it is, then I encourage you to reconsider your thoughts on being selfish.  This one change in perspective can make a tremendous difference in your overall well-being.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

 

 

 

From What Lens Are You Looking At Things?

As I was walking down the block, a thought crossed my mind. The thought of how indeed we all have different lenses that determine how we view things and how we feel about things which affects the way we react to things.

In case you are wondering what do I mean with lens, I mean your perspective- the way you decide to view your world, the things around you and what happens in life.

If you find yourself constantly struggling, or at least it feels this way; if you constantly find yourself feeling frustrated; if you feel anger that you may not understand where it is coming from, I would like to invite you to ask yourself, from what lens are you looking at things?

The way we view things shape our world. We view things the way we do based on our conditioning and we may not even be aware of its existence. Our experiences shape our conditioning. How we were raised shapes our conditioning. The opportunities we have had in life or lack of shape our conditioning. What we saw growing up shapes our conditioning. The list goes on and on in terms of what shapes our conditioning.

It is once you are able to bring to light those conditionings that you will know what lens you use and you are then able to change your life, if you find yourself not happy with your life at the moment. It is sometimes the lens with which we decide to look at things that doesn’t allow us to be happy.

If you find yourself in this situation, I highly recommend you sign up for the FREE course, The Path to Your Nirvana, where you will learn what is standing in the way of your path to your unique happiness. You just click on the link https://bit.ly/2QbBZW4, put your name, email and choose which language you prefer. I can’t stress enough how helpful this course will be for you once you follow the course and listen to the affirmation audio that is included as a bonus.

Know that the lens you are using is a choice. At any moment you can choose to change the lens you have to one that is favorable for you. You have more power than you think you have. But you first have to believe in this power.

Changing the lens you use requires you to have awareness of the lens you are currently using, why and where did the lens come from to begin with. Then, it takes making the conscious choice to change that lens on a daily basis. This may be easy for some people to do on their own, for others, they may need some assistance in being able to change the lens and I want to say that if this is the case for you, there is nothing wrong in seeking help when you need it.

Depending on the situation, you may need a therapist or a coach to assist you with that. Getting the help you need doesn’t make you weak at all, if anything, it is a sign of strength because it means you admit that you need help and are willing to do what it takes to get yourself to the next level.

So with today’s post, if you find yourself not happy with something or a situation, if you find yourself frustrated, I would like to invite you to ask yourself, from what lens are you look at things. Is this lens allowing you to see clearly? Are you seeing things blurry? Does it make you happy to see things from this perspective? These are all questions to consider which will allow you to determine if it’s time to change the lens you are currently using.

I also would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2QbBZW4, put your name, email address and select which language you would like the course.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

Be Thankful for Hurtful Situations

Still today my most popular blog post is “Why Do Good People Get the Short End of the Stick?” and this only indicates to me that there are many who are hurt. We are conditioned to numb hurtful situations either through drugs, medications or any other addiction. The truth is that for as long as you ignore the root cause of the hurt, the wound will be there. If for so long you have been putting a band-aid on a big wound, this blog post may be for you. If you constantly find yourself recreating the same situation over and over again, this blog post may be for you. It is precisely for these reasons that you must be thankful for hurtful situations.

I would like to make something clear. I am not implying to allow hurtful situations. I am not implying that you be always happy for the hurtful situations. However, when you can learn to see the value in whatever hurtful situation you are placed, you allow yourself to become a better person because of it and that’s when you will be able to be thankful for the hurtful situations.

Unfortunately we learn more from the painful situations than we do from the good experiences. As a friend of mine, Kay, always reminds me, it’s important to see the lesson. The reason why it is important to be thankful for hurtful situations is because there are lessons to learn. One of the biggest lessons being that most likely there are issues within you that are still unresolved.

It is important to realize not just with our mind but with our heart as well that we are all meant for abundance, healthy relationships, genuine love and all that our heart desires but unless we are willing to do the inner work that it takes, we will continue recreating the same experiences over and over again.

It is a must to recognize patterns in your life. These patterns are gifts from the universe so that we can know that there are things that we need to work on. Once again, unless we are willing to do the work that it takes, we will continue experiencing the same patterns over and over again.

Most of the time we allow hurtful situations to question our self-worth when what we need to question is not our value but our own self-esteem. Remember, the situations and relationships that we allow in our life are in direct proportion to the way we view and feel about ourselves. In other words, we allow things that fit how we feel and view ourselves, as hard as that may be to believe. This took me a long time to fully understand. It is a must to remember that things can only have an effect on us if we allow it. Other people’s reactions and perceptions of us are not our problem, it is a reflection of who they are. However, the moment you allow their reaction to become your problem, that is a reflection of how you see yourself.

One of the hardest things to realize is that the things that happen in our life many times are our own mirror. For your well-being, no matter how hard the inner work may be, it is a must to assess your own role in attracting the kinds of situations and people that you attract and assess how you see and view yourself. This is just one of the many things that hurtful situations can provide to us- the opportunity for greater growth. Don’t deny yourself of the opportunity of greater growth just because the pain seems so much to handle.

I love the story of how pearls are made because, believe it or not, pearls come from something that irritated the oyster. The oyster must remain open if it is to live but in the process, it is vulnerable to things that may hurt it or irritate it like a grain of sand. In order for the oyster not to allow that grain of sand to irritate it, it covers it with layers of nacre, which then forms the pearl. That’s exactly what can happen in our life- we can create pearls from the very things that hurt us.

I would like to encourage you in today’s post to make pearls out of your hurtful situations. Don’t let it make you bitter, resentful nor hateful. All these emotions are just poison for you. You are worth much more than that! What others do, let it be a lesson for you. Make it into a pearl and learn to be grateful for that hurtful situation.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.
You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.
Also, should you want a healthy way of dealing with the everyday things that we tend to go through in life, you are more than welcome to contact me so that I can also show you how essential oils can help you and your family have a healthier life. You are more than welcome to visit my store at http://my.doterra.com/AuraEMartinez. I will soon be having online courses on different topics in regards to essential oils.

The Grass Is Never Greener On the Other Side

I think as human beings it’s only normal to think that perhaps others have it better than us, that perhaps we can find someone better than the one we are currently seeing, etc. This kind of thinking although it may be natural to feel, it can prevent you from seeing all the good that is front of you. It is because of this that I would like to encourage you to see that the grass is never greener on the other side.

Don’t wait until something is lost for you to start valuing it. Remember that you currently have things that others would like to have. That may be the job that you have someone else may want. That can also be the relationship that you are currently in someone else would like to have a relationship like yours. Perhaps even a physical quality of yours someone else may want to have. Whatever it is, remember that you have something that someone else may want.

Also, your grass is as green as you make it. Perhaps other people’s grass looks greener because they are taking care of their own grass. So with this said, start taking care of what you currently have. Whatever it is that you see others have, why don’t you try your best to have that as well but just in a way that it’s unique to you. Start taking the steps necessary so that you can have the things that you want, the life that you want, the relationships that you want, the job that you want, etc.

I would like to encourage you to start seeing the wonderful things that you have in your life. Ask yourself: What can I be grateful for today? What do I have that is just great? What are some things about myself that are amazing? How can I improve the relationship I’m currently in? What are the aspects of this relationship that I love? What are some things that make my job great?

Asking yourself these questions will get your brain thinking and moving toward a more positive direction. Remember that your grass will be as green as you make it to be. Do your best to tend to your grass. Take care of it in every season so that it can look its best. Remember that in every aspect of your life, what you put in is what you get out. If you want your life to be as great as you want it to be, that is up to you to do the work that it takes. You have the power to make your grass as green as you want it to be and remember that just because other people’s grass is very green, doesn’t mean that it is greater and better than yours.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

You Can’t Afford to Ignore the Signs

I’ve come to the realization that many times, we are the ones who unintentionally bring upon ourselves huge disappointments that cost us our peace, well-being and can sometimes, if we allow it, hinder us from moving forward. However, rest assure that at ALL and I mean at all times the universe provides signs to you as to whether or not something is for you and people do reveal to you who they truly are if you are open to it. Because our peace and well-being have no price, today I would like to emphasize to you that you can’t afford to ignore the signs.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs because your energy is the most precious thing you have. Your energy, and when I write this I mean your overall energy not just your physical energy, is one of your currencies. When your energy is not right, you can’t be your full self. When your energy is not right, you can’t attract the things and people you want. When your energy is not right, this will affect everything else in your life. If something or someone robs even a little bit of your energy, please take it as a sign that you must either walk or run to the other direction. The things and people that belong in your life bring peace and joy; they don’t rob you of your energy in any way.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs when someone is not compatible with you whether that is in love or any other relationship. But in order for you to recognize when this is the case, it is important to have a strong sense of who you are first. This is because unless you have a deep connection with yourself first in order to understand yourself, you won’t fully understand your needs and wants. You will lack the discernment to know when something is not right for you for whatever reason. Ignoring this kind of sign can lead to unnecessary hurt and disappointment that may take time to heal.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs even when something is right for you. It’s easy to be confused in the middle of hurt, disappointment, hearing other people’s voices, etc. If you really want to know if something is right for you, you have to be right and connected with yourself first. It all starts with and stems from you. Losing people or things that can be right for you can be regretful in the long run and quite frankly, a little too late. Make it a point to strive to be healthy and happy by choosing things and people who add to your happiness. People will show you who they truly are and it’s just a matter of opening your ears and eyes and taking in what is being presented to you.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs when a door is supposed to close shut. I know for personal experience this can be a challenge. Years later I end up realizing why that door needed to close and I ended up regretting even trying to open that door. When a door closes shut on you, (with this I’m referring to things not working out, or a job loss, or the end of a relationship, etc.), just believe and have faith that it was meant to close. Trust me that I know how hard this is, I know all too well but it’s important to know that you did nothing wrong for that to happen and that certain things are just not meant to be in your life for your own good.

If there is one thing that I would like for you to take away from this is that in order for you to have the capacity of not ignoring the signs that you are receiving, you first need to be deeply connected with yourself. It is from that deep connection that you will have the discernment that you need so that you don’t ignore the signs again.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Are the Fashion!

I am impressed to see what is in fashion when it comes to image. It seems as if we are taught to accept things that are not a part of us. I was impressed to learn that freckles are now in fashion, so much so that people are willing to paint freckles on themselves. I have freckles on my face, not a lot, but some that are noticeable and I remember that as a young girl, I wasn’t happy about my freckles. Now I love them but back then no.

In today’s post, I would like to encourage you for your well-being to embrace the fact that you are the fashion. The way that you are created is exactly the way you are supposed to be and that no one, not even someone with so much influence, has the right to dictate to you what is hot and what is not. Remember that YOU are HOT just the way you are. It’s not the big butt, the small butt, the tone butt, the straight hair, the curly hair, the long hair, the short hair, the one with freckles, none of this is in fashion. Whatever you are, however way you are, YOU ARE IN FASHION.

Why drill this in your mind? Because it is important to have self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is key to great well-being. It is a must to feel great just the way you are. It is important to see how sexy you are no matter how you look. It is important to know your value as a person. It is important to know that you are beautiful just the way you are.

It is also important to ignore the outside messages when it comes to the way you look. Society may say that because your hair is a certain way, because your body looks a certain way, you are not acceptable or good enough. You may be in an environment where people don’t look like you or act like you so you feel like an odd ball. All this can cause havoc on your self-esteem and self-concept that can affect your well-being. Please know that you are the way you are, you have the tastes that you have, you look the way you do for a beautiful reason and purpose. You are wonderful just the way you are. You are handsome/gorgeous just the way you are. You don’t need to be a certain height, a certain weight, a certain nothing to be great. You are ENOUGH just the way you are!

Please remember that YOU ARE THE FASHION. YOU ARE IN FASHION and will ALWAYS be in fashion. It’s important to remember your value and not listen to outside voices nor other people’s opinion of what is right and what is not. Your well-being depends on this.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.