Get Sick of Wishing

Today I would like to encourage you to get sick of wishing. Why? Because wishing will take you nowhere. The secret to life, apart from knowing what you want, is taking action towards what you want.

So get sick of wishing for better health. Know that great health is in your hands by making better choices, by choosing healthy foods, by making the effort to exercise, by choosing to educate yourself in regards to any medications you are taking, any illness you may have and educating yourself in regards to the body.

Get sick of wishing for a better relationship. Work everyday on the relationship that you have because you are part of the equation of making that relationship work. If the relationship just isn’t working anymore, know that you have two choices- you either put in the effort it takes to make the relationship better or you decide it’s best to part ways. Either way relationship is work and great things do require effort. Also work on cultivating that relationship. Relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive.

Get sick of wishing you had a better job and either make the best of the job you have or change it. Complaining all the time about the job that you have doesn’t help. It just helps at the moment because you are releasing the tension that you are feeling but what are you doing to change the situation? That is what matters most, what you are doing right now to change the situation.

Get sick of wishing you had a better life. I personally don’t believe in the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. You either are or you’re not, you either do or you don’t, you either know or you don’t. That life that you want is in your hands. Let me repeat, that life that you want is in your hands. It’s not in someone else’s hands. It’s not in someone else’s power. You have the power to decide what you will do with your life.

Get sick of wishing for more because if you want more, you have to go get it. Many people want more, who doesn’t but it is not a matter of wanting more, it is a matter of doing more.

Yes, get sick of wishing. Your well-being depends on it because for as long as you are wishing, you might as well just keep on waiting. Life is not for those who wish, it is for those who do- so get sick of wishing.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How To Get Energy When You Feel Emotionally Exhausted

There are times in your life when you feel physically exhausted but not because you have worked too hard or because you haven’t slept well, but because perhaps you are going through some either inner conflict or you are going through a rough time in your life that is robbing your energy emotionally. I think this kind of exhaustion is one of the worst kinds because if you are not careful, you can slip down and maybe even fall into depression. When feeling this way, how can you find the energy to keep going?

First thing I believe is to acknowledge what you are feeling. I believe that denying what you are feeling is not helpful nor conducive to truly moving forward. By denying what you are feeling it’s like trying to make believe that the wound that you have isn’t even there yet it is bleeding and needs your attention.

Try to understand where this feeling is coming from. Ask yourself what can you learn from what you are feeling. I believe there is always something to learn from everything whether it is good or bad. Every experience is a chance to become a better person and understanding where your hurt is coming from can provide important insight to you that can open up the opportunity for healing. The way to heal something is by understanding what is causing the pain/hurt.

Take things day by day, minute by minute. Just try to take one step at a time, put one foot in front of the other.

As hard as it may be to find the positive in even the most negative moments of life, it is a must to find the positive in everything. What focusing on the negative does is that it magnifies the bad things which then affects your emotions which will then affect your energy levels. Think about this, anything you dread to do, anything you don’t feel excited about doing will deplete your energy. By focusing on the positive, you are shifting your mindset which will then shift your energy- energy that you need to keep going even when the going gets tough.

It would be wonderful if there was an easy answer, a magic pill that would give us all the emotional energy we need when the going gets tough. The truth is that there is no such thing but there is one person who has the capacity to give you that emotional energy you need and that is YOU. With your acceptance of your feelings, with your own compassion towards yourself, with you doing your best to heal your wounds and see the positive in everything, you have the power to get the emotional energy that you need. I’ve said and written over and over again, well-being is something to work on everyday. It is something that you cultivate, nurture and create. It is YOU who have this power.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How to Deal With Grief Without Letting It Consume You

Yesterday I was asked the question how do I manage to still do all the things that I am doing when my dad’s passing is so recent. It is this question that inspires me to write this post.

When one is grieving, it is easy to let yourself go, to not do much, to not care for yourself, to cry all the time and think about all the times spent with the person that passed. It is only normal to feel all this and this feeling is more intense depending on how close you were with the person as well as how long have you known that person. Know that it is important to grieve because repressing this emotion just makes your process long and hard, perhaps even harder than it already is. There is no easy way to handle grief but I can share with you what I think about it and how I handle it.

It’s important to know that the person that passed is always with you, it’s just that they are now with you in a different form. Unfortunately, death is a normal process of life and accepting this is important. Even though I can’t see my father physically, I can still feel him and this in itself provides for me a certain comfort.

In order to handle grief in a way that doesn’t consume your everyday life, it is necessary to give yourself space to feel the grief. You do this by giving yourself what I like to call some “sad time”. What this means is that you give yourself space to feel your emotions, to cry if you have to and you feel this way for a certain amount of time. Once that time is up, you wipe your tears and move on with the day. I do this because it helps me feel better, that way I don’t keep in the sadness of my dad’s passing to myself. This also allows me to be present for work since I am not carrying with me that hurt to work. This is what giving yourself some “sad time” can do. When you deprive yourself of this, you bottle up what you feel and it is only a matter of time for it to spill over to other areas of your life. Also, by not putting a times up on your “sad time”, you allow that sadness to take momentum which then ruins your day. How does it ruin your day? Well, sadness paralyzes you. Sadness makes you lose your center and when that happens, you can’t think with clarity, you can’t make the right choices, etc. This is not what you want. Despite the sadness, it’s important to take control of your emotions. Give your emotions some space but not for too long.

I remember the promise that I made my dad and he asked me not to cry so much for him. I can understand why he said this to me and that’s because he wants his kids and wife to be strong. Sadness, when it is prolonged for too long, weakens you in every way. What keeps a household strong is the strength and I know that just like him, if I ever have kids of my own, I want to encourage my kids to be strong themselves long after I’m gone and I too would encourage them not to cry so much for me.

I know I honor my dad with my strength and courage to move on. I honor him by being the best version of me that I can be because I am an extension of him on this earth. You honor those who pass by your strength and courage to move on and being the best you that you can be. If it’s one of your parents that passed, you are an extension of them on this earth. Be the best extension of them. Make them proud of you. Honor the dreams that you told them you have for yourself. It is this knowing that I am an extension of him that gives me the courage to move on.

There is no easy way to handle grief and there are several stages of grief that unfortunately one must go through the stages. But just know that you honor that person with your strength and courage. Know that they want you to be strong. Know that they want you to be happy. Of course you will miss them, of course you will want to cry because you wish you had them one more time but know that they are always with you even in spirit.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store athttps://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

It’s Little By Little, Day By Day

What inspires me to write this is the fact that my family and I are grieving the passing of my father who passed away this past Friday, May 20th. We know it will take time to accept this fact, to find the conformity in how things happened and to accept that he is no longer with us physically. All that anyone can do in circumstances like this is to remind oneself that it’s little by little, day by day.

It’s little by little, day by day that you will start to accept the fact that whatever that is going on in your life is actually going on in your life. This is because it takes time to process things. It takes time to heal wounds. It takes time to understand things. It takes time to process one’s emotions.

It’s little by little, day by day that you will put the pieces together. When one grieves, of course physically you reflect what you feel and it takes a little at a time and day by day to get back to your old self again. It takes time to be able to find things with the same beauty as you once did. It takes time to understand that it is ok to feel what you feel at the moment that you feel it.

It’s little by little, day by day that you start to realize that the ending of something is just the beginning of something new. The end is never the end and even when a chapter ends, life must go on and so you must go on.

It’s little by little, day by day because nothing is done all at once. You don’t just grow from night to day, you don’t just heal one moment to the next, you don’t get over a grief so quick. It’s ok to grieve because in the grieving you are processing what is going on, you are letting out all that you feel, you are little by little putting your own pieces together in a way that only you can do for yourself.

There are different kinds of grieving and although I’m grieving my dad’s passing, one can grieve their marriage or anything that was so meaningful to them. Grief is grief and no matter what the grief is, it takes little by little, day by day.

 

You Can Only Control Your Choices…

There are times where one may wish to control what someone else does or thinks. This can most certainly apply when it comes to something or someone that we really want or like or even care about. Whether it is someone that you have romantic feelings for, an action that you wish a loved one would make or any business decision someone else has to make, you can only control the choices that YOU make.

How can having this simple fact ingrained in you help you with your well-being? Well, I learned the hard way that unless I let go of the fact that I can not control how others will react nor what choices they will make, I will never be happy. It’s as simple as that. I know so well that this is easier said than done, trust me I know and I have been so hardheaded for so long to realize this. The truth is that when you realize that you can not control other people’s choices other than your own, you become a much happier person.

Understanding with your mind and your heart this simple fact will help you relinquish control of how things in your life goes. You will feel how that sense of heaviness gets lifted from you because indeed you are letting go of something that you have no business carrying around with you. When you carry around the burden of wanting to control what goes on around you and what others do, you are carrying an unnecessary baggage that just holds you back in life. Sometimes to enjoy life, this requires that you just let go of how others will react or what choices they will make with regards to things. With this I am by no means writing that you shouldn’t care about what others do or say or anything along these lines. What I am encouraging is that you don’t try to control what others do or think in regards to any situation that may involve you. For example, when it comes to love (I mention love here because this is a touching subject for most of us), you only have control over how you feel and react. For as much as you may care about the other person, for as much as you may want to be with that person, for as much as you may want to work things out or want the other person to see the value in you, unfortunately you don’t have total control over this. All you can do is just be your best you and let go of the outcome.

One of the main reasons why it is important for you to know that you can only control your choices and not other people’s choices is because this helps you let go of the outcome. In other words, you don’t get so attached to the outcome of whatever situation. This helps you greatly not to take things personal, not to be so hurt by what happened and you are actually freeing yourself. Part of well-being is having a sense of freedom and freedom goes beyond the financial aspect, (I can discuss this on another post).

For now, I encourage you for your well-being, in order to spare yourself from more hurt, headaches, heartaches, disappointments, remember that you can only control your choices.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.