Choose People Willing to Do the Inner Work

In today’s post, I want to discuss the importance of choosing people willing to do the inner work.

Healthy relationships start with you. When I write the word “relationships”, I mean any close interaction you have with another human being so this includes friendships, family members, and romantic relationships. How and why does a healthy relationship start with you? Because first you have to be right with you. You have to love yourself. You have to love life. You have to see your own potential. You have to see your own beauty. You have to see your own value. You need to be willing to do your inner work. Once all this is in place, then you choose based on that.

So say for example, if you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, without realizing it, you most likely will choose people that they are unhealthy themselves. A person with an unhealthy relationship with themselves won’t be able to choose people that are right for them either because deep down inside they don’t feel deserving of healthy love, etc. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you are quick to notice when something isn’t right for you and you let it go. This is why it is crucial that you are right with you first.

Just as it is important that you do your inner work, it is important that you choose people willing to do the inner work themselves. This is because people who are not right with themselves don’t have much to offer. We can only offer what we have. So someone who is afraid to make certain decisions and is afraid of happiness will only give fear to you. This means that if you try to engage in a relationship with them, they will confuse you to death because their actions will be that they will push you away or do something that turns you off, etc.

It is only when you are clear in who you are, what you want, on your value and what you deserve that you will get what you want and more. It is then when you can engage in healthy relationships with others, when you can feel great about your life, then attracting more great things into your life and have more to offer to others.

You can tell when someone is willing to do the inner work. How can you tell? Well, let me start off by stating the signs of someone not willing to do the inner work. The first sign is that they live in fear. They are afraid to be happy so they push people away. They have commitment issues that they are not willing to resolve. They are very judgmental of others for silly things. They always find fault in others. They choose to be in relationships or situations that don’t make them happy. They constantly talk about problems. You feel heaviness the moment you are with them. The list can go on. The point is that you end up wondering what happened, is there something wrong with you, your energy shifts for the worse and so on. None of this is good!

Doing the inner work requires one to be willing to look within themselves and work through any issues they may have. It requires one to challenge their limiting beliefs. It requires seeking help should one need help. It requires to notice the patterns in the choices one makes and then be willing to take responsibility for the role they played. Doing the inner work is not easy because of all the emotions that will resurface but it is necessary in order to uncover the things that are holding you back.

Be willing to choose people who are willing to do the inner work because doing so will lead to healthy relationships in which you yourself can blossom as a person. Because you deserve to be loved exactly for who you are; because you deserve to be fully happy; because you deserve a great life, you need to be the first one to be willing to do the inner work so you can then choose someone willing to do the same. You owe this to yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Are Where You Are Because That’s Where You Want to Be

Today’s post may be a hard one to digest for many. I know it has been and sometimes still is for me. Today’s post is about how you are where you are because that’s where you want to be.

Why can this be a hard one to digest for many? Because many times it is hard to admit that the reason why we are where we are in life is because that’s where we chose to be. “But Aura, this life that I’m currently living is not what I chose for myself?! All these things just happened to me!” Well, some situations may have occurred but in order for your life to change, in order for you to increase in well-being, it is a must to take responsibility for your life. Just like I’ve mentioned in my speeches, not doing so is like sitting on the passenger seat watching your whole life go by while allowing something or someone else to determine how your life will be. This is why in the book, Creating a Lifetime of Wellness, I encourage readers to take responsibility of their life.

Think about this for a moment, you are making choices every single day. Whether you like your choices or not is a different story but you indeed are making choices that all either add or delete from your well-being. The relationships that you have or the lack of relationships….your choice. The job or career you have…your choice. Your health…your choice. And even if you are predisposed to certain illnesses, and this will be another topic because I do believe that we are not our genes, it is your choice to decide how you will be health-wise. Everything is a choice!

So if you find yourself in a relationship you are not happy with, you are where you are because that’s where you want to be. If you find yourself that you are not happy with your health, remember that you have a choice as to what to do with your health and you can decide if you want to be healthy or not. Believe it or not, most of the things that you have and where you are, you are where you are because that’s exactly where you want to be.

If for whatever reason you are not happy where you are at the moment, then you seriously need to question why you are not happy. What needs to happen in order for things to be different? What can you do now to change your current situation? What actions do you need to take in order for things to flow the way you want them to flow? What do you want out of life?

Remember that you are the one in control of your life and of what you have. You have what you have because that’s what you want to have. You are where you are because that’s where you want to be. Complaining doesn’t serve unless if it is just to let out of your chest what you feel but this doesn’t change anything. What changes things is taking action. So if you want and need things to be different, then you must take action.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Who You Are and How You Live Matters!

If at any moment in your life you felt that who you are and how your live your life doesn’t matter or if you know anyone who may feel this way, then this is the post to read. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that who you are doesn’t matter. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that how you live your life doesn’t matter because it does!

Whether you realize it or not, you impact others. I am pretty sure you have friends and family. Even if you don’t have much friends, you still impact those you do have. Everything we do and say set an example to others. There are people who look up to you and love you. There are people who are concern for you. And certainly the world needs you!

It doesn’t matter how you look nor how you are. It doesn’t matter what your tastes are. It doesn’t matter what you are good at and what you are not good at, all the things that make up who you are make you unique and you were created this way because someone else needs you exactly the way you are. How do they need you? It depends, people can need you in different ways. Perhaps you are meant to set an example for others. Perhaps you are meant to greatly influence others. Perhaps you are meant to inspire others. Whatever those reasons are, you are created with a purpose.

One thing I want to add is that you will be rejected by others. Why do I need to write this? Because rejection is one of the reasons why some may feel inadequate because none of us like rejection. However, if we can reframe that rejection into something else, we will see the beauty in that rejection. As a matter of fact, I want to encourage you to embrace rejection. That’s right! Gosh rejection is beautiful! You don’t want everything and anything that comes your way! It’s important to make room for more wonderful things and people in your life. This is why rejection is so beautiful- it makes room for better people and better opportunities!

When you are true to who you are and when you live your life fully according to the real you, you are actually giving others permission to do the same. That’s right! This is because it is so refreshing to be around people who are true to themselves and there is something about us living fully that resonates with others. That’s because all of us by nature crave to live fully and crave to be our true selves without caring about what others think nor feel. Living your life fully gives others freedom- the freedom to do the same and the freedom to not have to worry about you.

Since I wrote “the freedom to not have to worry about you”, I need to emphasize that not living your life fully and not being who you truly are, you are actually being a burden to others. That burden that you place on them without realizing will make others want to be away from you because indeed it is not freeing to be around someone who is negative towards themselves and not helping themselves.

I want to encourage you to know that who you are and how you live your life matters. Remember that it doesn’t matter who you are, what you do for a living, how many friends you have (it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality), if you are currently single or married, etc., you do influence others. Your life has an impact on others that creates ripple effects. To not think this, I believe, is very selfish from your part because you are not considering how your actions nor who you are affect others and you are denying others of the gift of you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How to Fill the Inner Void

Today I would like to write about something that seems to be real for some and this kind of struggle is very real. The struggle that I am referring to is the one of an inner void.

Since well-being starts with you, this means that it starts with being whole. Being whole by default means that there is no void. Now, one thing that I would like to clarify is that it is perfectly normal to have certain needs that are just innate because we are human beings. These needs that I am referring to are- the need to feel needed, to be accepted, to be loved and the need for companionship. These needs are built within us because as human beings we are emotional and social beings. So having these needs does not mean that you are not whole.

However, when these needs are heightened to the point where you are willing to compromise your well-being to have these needs met, this is when there is a void that needs to be filled. I think many confuse having needs with having a void when there is a fine line between the two and that line is when those needs become so strong to the point that you are willing to compromise your well-being.

With all this said, how can one fill an inner void? Perhaps for some, they may not like what I’m about to write because maybe some are searching for immediate results to what they are currently feeling but I can guarantee you that greater satisfaction comes from going to the root of things. So the first place to start is by recognizing your inner value. It is important that you see and cherish your own inner value because when you see how valuable you are as a person, you will expect others to treat you like so. You start seeing your value by recognizing the attributes that you possess that make you an amazing person. It doesn’t matter if others have those same attributes, believe and know that there is something unique about you that no one else has.

Think about the things that bring you joy and start doing those things often. The more things you do that you enjoy, the better you will feel about yourself because you are nurturing your true essence which is your soul. This is one part of us that some tend to neglect and doing so can be detrimental overtime. Give yourself the time to feed your soul with things that makes it happy.

Surround yourself by people who appreciate you for who you are. Choose healthy relationships. Whether we realize it or not, the people that we surround ourselves by do have an influence on our self-concept and self-esteem. Choose people who have a healthy self-esteem, who love themselves, who are happy with their life and who are willing to do the inner work. I will discuss on another blog why it is important to choose people who are willing to do the inner work.

The last thing I will recommend that you do is to take the time to get to know who you are. There is tremendous power in knowing who you really are. When you have a deep understanding of who you are, you know what your needs are in every area of your life. When you have a deep understanding of who you are, you are more accepting of who you are and the choices that you make regardless of whether others are accepting of you or not. This understanding allows you to be in alignment which leads to greater well-being.

I am not going to lie to you that filling a void takes effort but that is effort that is worth it. If you want to fill that void completely and feel great on a consistent basis, you have to have that deep understanding and appreciate of yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation in which everything is built upon. When you feel void, you are not going to have much to offer to others. You will be coming from a place of neediness and anxiety and others will sense that because that is what you will be emanating.

I would like to encourage you to start looking at the traits that make you an amazing person. Start doing the things that make you very happy. Surround yourself by people who have a healthy self-esteem and who love their life. Have a great relationship with yourself. The moment you start filling yourself up, you won’t be heightening the natural needs that is only normal to have.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Ingredients For Healthy Relationships

I had a conversation a few days ago with a good friend of mine and we were talking about what makes a healthy relationship. It seems as though nowadays there is so much confusion about how one needs to be, how to properly communicate and there is so many question marks on people’s mind and all this is so unnecessary. So today’s post will be about the ingredients for healthy relationships because relationships do play an important role on our well-being.

You need healthy relationships and this includes your relationship with your family and friends and in romantic relationships. All the ingredients discussed in this post apply to all kinds of relationships.

First ingredient is maturity. It takes maturity to have a healthy relationship. Before I write what I mean with “maturity”, I will first write what teenagers do that adults should be way passed that stage. Teenagers or people who are not mature enough just text important discussions. This is a big no no because so much can be misunderstood through texts. Texting important discussions is a way to avoid what is going on and only teenagers or immature people do that. Mature people have either face to face or over the phone discussions. Why? Because it is important to confront situations head on in order to gain clarity and avoid hard feelings. Teenagers and immature people blame rather than understand their role in the situation. It takes maturity to admit that you too played a role in what happened in a situation and to take ownership for how the relationship goes. So what I mean with maturity is that one puts aside childish ways in order to be a grown adult. You can’t have healthy relationships with childish ways.

Second ingredient is communication. Healthy relationships require effective communication. This includes saying how one feels and listening to the other person. When I write “listen”, I don’t mean “hear”. Hearing is the mechanical aspect of what the ears do. Listening requires you to put aside what you are feeling and thinking and try to understand what the other person is saying so you can understand where they are coming from. It’s important to state clearly how you feel and what your intentions are. It’s important to be straight forward. It’s important as we get older to always make it a goal to be better in communication.

Third ingredient is honesty. Healthy relationships require that both parties are first and foremost honest with themselves and then with others. Honesty may not always be easy. It’s easy to want to lie to oneself for whatever the reason may be, either because of fear of the outcome, beliefs that we have told ourselves, etc. For two people to be on the same page, it is a must to first be honest with yourself and then with others. You deserve your own honesty and others deserve your honesty as well. Many friendships and relationships are severed because of this.

Fourth ingredient is confrontation. Healthy relationships confront with one another. It is unfortunate that the word “confrontation” has such a negative connotation but the reality is that how are two people supposed to be on the same page if they don’t confront?! Confrontation simply means two or more people coming together to discuss something. This requires maturity which is why I listed maturity as the first ingredient.

I’m sure there are more things that are required in order to have healthy relationships but for the sake of this blog, I am only including four of the ingredients that I consider to be the main ingredients for a healthy relationship.

If there is any relationship that you care about that you feel is not as healthy as you need it to be, I would like to encourage you to consider if any of these ingredients mentioned in today’s post is lacking and do your part to include this into that relationship. It takes all parties involved to make a healthy relationship, this means that this includes you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How Hungry Are You?

Hunger….is something that we try to suppress because let’s face it, hunger is uncomfortable. No, I’m not referring to physical hunger. I’m referring to the hunger that you have to improve your life and well-being.

I constantly hear people saying that they want a better life but yet if you ask them “what are you doing to have the life you want?”, they say nothing. I have said over and over again, it’s not enough to just want, you have to be HUNGRY. So I would like to ask you now, how hungry are you?

How hungry are you to lose weight? If you are not doing anything to change your diet and lifestyle, then you are not truly wanting to lose weight. How hungry are you to change your financial situation? If you’re not doing anything viable to start changing your financial situation, then you truly don’t want to change it. How hungry are you to make your dreams come true? If you are not taking the first step to get to where you want to go, then you truly don’t want that dream to come true.

It is a must to face your fears. Fear is a part of life but it doesn’t have to stop you! Things will be challenging but it’s all part of the bigger picture. Also I want to encourage you not to compare your first step with other people’s first step. The reason for this is because everyone is in a different journey in life. Everyone’s path will be different no matter how similar it may be.

I learned to embrace hunger. Hunger creates pain so I encourage you to feel that pain. Feel it until the continue feeling of that pain is greater than the fear you may feel. That is what will help you do what you must do in order to have the life that you want.

Once again, and I mean it with all my heart, wanting is not enough in life no matter what you may want. You need to have hunger. Hunger is a must because hunger pushes you to do what you must do in order to satisfy that hunger. So don’t suppress the hunger. Feel it until it seriously hurts then do something to change the situation.

So if you want the things you want but are not doing anything serious about it, ask yourself how hungry are you. The lack of action is an indicator that the hunger is not there. It takes being hungry to take the action necessary to have the life and well-being that you want. Embrace that hunger until it hurts and then go do something about that hunger!

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

Build Organ Reserve

What happened to me this passed weekend made me value the way I have been taking care of my body. I flew with some people who were throwing up, four to be exact, and one of them had the flu. Of course the person with the flu I was in contact with since she was at my side and she came close to me to tell me she had the flu. The following day I woke up feeling so drained that I was worried about traveling. I still flew out that night but by the time I was landing at the destination, I was feeling some body ache and was feeling cold. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to survive the trip since I was also having a headache.

When I came back to NY, my body was able to bounce back the following day and I thank God for that. I must say that was pretty quick. I know that is because of my organ reserve and it is this that I would like to write about.

I came across the term “organ reserve” while working on getting my credits for the requalification of my certification in Holistic Nutrition. What organ reserve means is that the organs have the capacity to allow the body to deal with stress through unused, extra functioning abilities. I compare this to savings. There will be times in life when financially you may be in a position where you will have to use your savings because times are tough. Organ reserve is like your savings account but just like you need to put money aside so that you can have for a rainy day, you have to build organ reserve so in times of stress, your body can cope and bounce right back up with no problem.

So how can you start building organ reserve? You start by starting NOW. Don’t wait until tomorrow, next week, next month or until the summer time. No, start NOW taking care of your body. This care, of course, will consist of eating healthy and taking the proper supplements that your body needs. The one mistake that many may make is thinking that they can have all their nutrition through food. Sorry but food is not grown the same way anymore and so many nutrients can be lost from the passage of time of the harvest to the cooking. Besides, I don’t think many of us, I include myself, eat the amount of foods that we need in order to get the amount of nutrients the body needs so that it can function at an optimum level. So make sure you supplement what you eat by choosing the right supplements. Being physically active also helps and to be physically active doesn’t mean doing hardcore workouts. It can be as simple as going for a brisk walk.

Make sure that mentally and emotionally you are right. When your mind isn’t right, nothing can be right. Now, I know that this can be a challenge at times. Trust me, I know, but it is a must to make an effort to be fit mentally and emotionally. Understand what drains you. Understand what triggers certain emotions in you. Do what feels good for you. Remember, you are an investment that you must make but you are worth the investment.

If you ever think for a moment that your body is just this thing that gets hungry every 2 1/2 to 3 hours and it isn’t something to truly treasure, think of what happens when you have no savings. When things really go sour, you have no cushion to fall back on. Well, same thing with your body. You want a cushion to fall back on and organ reserve is that cushion in times of stress. So I encourage you to start working on creating some organ reserve. If you need some help with that, you are more than welcome to contact me on this site.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.