The Ingredients For Healthy Relationships

I had a conversation a few days ago with a good friend of mine and we were talking about what makes a healthy relationship. It seems as though nowadays there is so much confusion about how one needs to be, how to properly communicate and there is so many question marks on people’s mind and all this is so unnecessary. So today’s post will be about the ingredients for healthy relationships because relationships do play an important role on our well-being.

You need healthy relationships and this includes your relationship with your family and friends and in romantic relationships. All the ingredients discussed in this post apply to all kinds of relationships.

First ingredient is maturity. It takes maturity to have a healthy relationship. Before I write what I mean with “maturity”, I will first write what teenagers do that adults should be way passed that stage. Teenagers or people who are not mature enough just text important discussions. This is a big no no because so much can be misunderstood through texts. Texting important discussions is a way to avoid what is going on and only teenagers or immature people do that. Mature people have either face to face or over the phone discussions. Why? Because it is important to confront situations head on in order to gain clarity and avoid hard feelings. Teenagers and immature people blame rather than understand their role in the situation. It takes maturity to admit that you too played a role in what happened in a situation and to take ownership for how the relationship goes. So what I mean with maturity is that one puts aside childish ways in order to be a grown adult. You can’t have healthy relationships with childish ways.

Second ingredient is communication. Healthy relationships require effective communication. This includes saying how one feels and listening to the other person. When I write “listen”, I don’t mean “hear”. Hearing is the mechanical aspect of what the ears do. Listening requires you to put aside what you are feeling and thinking and try to understand what the other person is saying so you can understand where they are coming from. It’s important to state clearly how you feel and what your intentions are. It’s important to be straight forward. It’s important as we get older to always make it a goal to be better in communication.

Third ingredient is honesty. Healthy relationships require that both parties are first and foremost honest with themselves and then with others. Honesty may not always be easy. It’s easy to want to lie to oneself for whatever the reason may be, either because of fear of the outcome, beliefs that we have told ourselves, etc. For two people to be on the same page, it is a must to first be honest with yourself and then with others. You deserve your own honesty and others deserve your honesty as well. Many friendships and relationships are severed because of this.

Fourth ingredient is confrontation. Healthy relationships confront with one another. It is unfortunate that the word “confrontation” has such a negative connotation but the reality is that how are two people supposed to be on the same page if they don’t confront?! Confrontation simply means two or more people coming together to discuss something. This requires maturity which is why I listed maturity as the first ingredient.

I’m sure there are more things that are required in order to have healthy relationships but for the sake of this blog, I am only including four of the ingredients that I consider to be the main ingredients for a healthy relationship.

If there is any relationship that you care about that you feel is not as healthy as you need it to be, I would like to encourage you to consider if any of these ingredients mentioned in today’s post is lacking and do your part to include this into that relationship. It takes all parties involved to make a healthy relationship, this means that this includes you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How Hungry Are You?

Hunger….is something that we try to suppress because let’s face it, hunger is uncomfortable. No, I’m not referring to physical hunger. I’m referring to the hunger that you have to improve your life and well-being.

I constantly hear people saying that they want a better life but yet if you ask them “what are you doing to have the life you want?”, they say nothing. I have said over and over again, it’s not enough to just want, you have to be HUNGRY. So I would like to ask you now, how hungry are you?

How hungry are you to lose weight? If you are not doing anything to change your diet and lifestyle, then you are not truly wanting to lose weight. How hungry are you to change your financial situation? If you’re not doing anything viable to start changing your financial situation, then you truly don’t want to change it. How hungry are you to make your dreams come true? If you are not taking the first step to get to where you want to go, then you truly don’t want that dream to come true.

It is a must to face your fears. Fear is a part of life but it doesn’t have to stop you! Things will be challenging but it’s all part of the bigger picture. Also I want to encourage you not to compare your first step with other people’s first step. The reason for this is because everyone is in a different journey in life. Everyone’s path will be different no matter how similar it may be.

I learned to embrace hunger. Hunger creates pain so I encourage you to feel that pain. Feel it until the continue feeling of that pain is greater than the fear you may feel. That is what will help you do what you must do in order to have the life that you want.

Once again, and I mean it with all my heart, wanting is not enough in life no matter what you may want. You need to have hunger. Hunger is a must because hunger pushes you to do what you must do in order to satisfy that hunger. So don’t suppress the hunger. Feel it until it seriously hurts then do something to change the situation.

So if you want the things you want but are not doing anything serious about it, ask yourself how hungry are you. The lack of action is an indicator that the hunger is not there. It takes being hungry to take the action necessary to have the life and well-being that you want. Embrace that hunger until it hurts and then go do something about that hunger!

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

Build Organ Reserve

What happened to me this passed weekend made me value the way I have been taking care of my body. I flew with some people who were throwing up, four to be exact, and one of them had the flu. Of course the person with the flu I was in contact with since she was at my side and she came close to me to tell me she had the flu. The following day I woke up feeling so drained that I was worried about traveling. I still flew out that night but by the time I was landing at the destination, I was feeling some body ache and was feeling cold. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to survive the trip since I was also having a headache.

When I came back to NY, my body was able to bounce back the following day and I thank God for that. I must say that was pretty quick. I know that is because of my organ reserve and it is this that I would like to write about.

I came across the term “organ reserve” while working on getting my credits for the requalification of my certification in Holistic Nutrition. What organ reserve means is that the organs have the capacity to allow the body to deal with stress through unused, extra functioning abilities. I compare this to savings. There will be times in life when financially you may be in a position where you will have to use your savings because times are tough. Organ reserve is like your savings account but just like you need to put money aside so that you can have for a rainy day, you have to build organ reserve so in times of stress, your body can cope and bounce right back up with no problem.

So how can you start building organ reserve? You start by starting NOW. Don’t wait until tomorrow, next week, next month or until the summer time. No, start NOW taking care of your body. This care, of course, will consist of eating healthy and taking the proper supplements that your body needs. The one mistake that many may make is thinking that they can have all their nutrition through food. Sorry but food is not grown the same way anymore and so many nutrients can be lost from the passage of time of the harvest to the cooking. Besides, I don’t think many of us, I include myself, eat the amount of foods that we need in order to get the amount of nutrients the body needs so that it can function at an optimum level. So make sure you supplement what you eat by choosing the right supplements. Being physically active also helps and to be physically active doesn’t mean doing hardcore workouts. It can be as simple as going for a brisk walk.

Make sure that mentally and emotionally you are right. When your mind isn’t right, nothing can be right. Now, I know that this can be a challenge at times. Trust me, I know, but it is a must to make an effort to be fit mentally and emotionally. Understand what drains you. Understand what triggers certain emotions in you. Do what feels good for you. Remember, you are an investment that you must make but you are worth the investment.

If you ever think for a moment that your body is just this thing that gets hungry every 2 1/2 to 3 hours and it isn’t something to truly treasure, think of what happens when you have no savings. When things really go sour, you have no cushion to fall back on. Well, same thing with your body. You want a cushion to fall back on and organ reserve is that cushion in times of stress. So I encourage you to start working on creating some organ reserve. If you need some help with that, you are more than welcome to contact me on this site.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

Get Sick of Wishing

Today I would like to encourage you to get sick of wishing. Why? Because wishing will take you nowhere. The secret to life, apart from knowing what you want, is taking action towards what you want.

So get sick of wishing for better health. Know that great health is in your hands by making better choices, by choosing healthy foods, by making the effort to exercise, by choosing to educate yourself in regards to any medications you are taking, any illness you may have and educating yourself in regards to the body.

Get sick of wishing for a better relationship. Work everyday on the relationship that you have because you are part of the equation of making that relationship work. If the relationship just isn’t working anymore, know that you have two choices- you either put in the effort it takes to make the relationship better or you decide it’s best to part ways. Either way relationship is work and great things do require effort. Also work on cultivating that relationship. Relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive.

Get sick of wishing you had a better job and either make the best of the job you have or change it. Complaining all the time about the job that you have doesn’t help. It just helps at the moment because you are releasing the tension that you are feeling but what are you doing to change the situation? That is what matters most, what you are doing right now to change the situation.

Get sick of wishing you had a better life. I personally don’t believe in the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. You either are or you’re not, you either do or you don’t, you either know or you don’t. That life that you want is in your hands. Let me repeat, that life that you want is in your hands. It’s not in someone else’s hands. It’s not in someone else’s power. You have the power to decide what you will do with your life.

Get sick of wishing for more because if you want more, you have to go get it. Many people want more, who doesn’t but it is not a matter of wanting more, it is a matter of doing more.

Yes, get sick of wishing. Your well-being depends on it because for as long as you are wishing, you might as well just keep on waiting. Life is not for those who wish, it is for those who do- so get sick of wishing.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Different Ways of Being Healthy

I think we all know it’s important to be physically healthy. This is the most visible part of us, making it obvious the kind of lifestyle we have. For as much as taking care of our physical body is important, there are other ways to be healthy that are equally important if not even more since when these parts of us are not healthy, the physical body will suffer as well. It is important to be healthy mentally and emotionally and this is what this post will be about.

First I would like to discuss how can you know when you are not healthy mentally and emotionally. One of the most simple ways is by looking around you. Does your life reflect what you deserve? What kind of relationships do you have with others? What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Do you have any kind of destructive, unhealthy relationship in your life? How are you feeling most of the time? All these questions are indicators as to how is your mental and emotional state.

In other words, if you block out your own happiness, if you are living in fear, if you are being pessimistic, if you push away good things or people, if you live in the past and it is a hurtful past, if you allow negativity, then you are unhealthy mentally and emotionally.

What many may not realize is that for as much as one may want to put a band-aid on a huge wound or ignore the real problems in their life, one can NEVER reach full happiness. Full happiness comes from dealing with your issues when your issues are preventing good in your life. Yes, it is hard to open that luggage and go through everything and throw away what is not serving you but that’s when you have to ask yourself if it’s serving you to carry such a heavy luggage to begin with.

What does it mean to be healthy mentally and emotionally? It means to feel good about yourself and your life, to accept abundance, to accept and let in happiness, to know you are deserving, to know that you deserve to be loved right by others, to allow people who help you grow and who truly love you. It is mentally having the capacity to do away with things, situations and people who don’t serve you. It is being able to not stress what doesn’t matter. It is being able to focus more on the positive than the negative. It is doing whatever possible to develop mental and emotional agility in order to bounce right back from any disappointment. Being emotionally healthy is being able to love yourself even when others may not love you, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes and being able to accept yourself even when others may not accept you. It is you loving yourself more than anyone else. This act of love is a must since it is this kind of love that will prevent you from allowing situations, things or people who don’t make you feel good.

Being physically healthy indeed is very important but one can not forget how extremely important it is to be healthy also mentally and emotionally. When mentally and emotionally you are not right, there is no way to be right physically as well since all three parts are connected. If you feel your life isn’t the way you want it to be, I encourage you to look into these two parts of you and if you need intervention, by all means go see a psychologist or therapist. This is an investment that you are making in yourself and you are worth the investment. Your mind and emotions are assets to be taking care of, so make sure you do what you can to have these parts of you healthy.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Importance of Feeling Safe When It Comes to Your Well-Being

Safety is something that one may think of when it comes to being physically safe as in being away from anything that can harm them. However, that is not the only kind of safety. There is a kind of safety that perhaps many may not mention and it is equally important when it comes to your well-being and that is feeling safe.

What feeling safe refers to is the knowing that you can be yourself freely, the knowing that you can express yourself freely without feeling judged, threatened or reprimanded, being able to have your own thoughts without any fear and knowing that you can have your own opinions. It is a must to feel safe at home, at work, in your relationships and with yourself believe it or not.

With yourself you must feel safe because you must feel secure within you that you ARE entitled to your own feelings, your own thoughts, your own way of being no matter how different it may be from others. When you don’t allow yourself to feel, think and be who you are, believe it or not, you are not making yourself feel safe. Have that assurance that you are entitled to be who you are and to think and feel how you want to think and feel.

You must feel safe at home. You must feel safe to express your concerns to your loved ones, be your real self around them and share your thoughts and feelings. If for whatever reason you feel you need to somewhat hide your real self, you can’t share your feelings because of fear of being criticized, etc. something is seriously wrong. This has to change for the good of everyone.

You must feel safe at work. I believe that an environment where you feel you can’t be yourself, you can’t thrive. I want to clarify, if your behavior at work is disruptive, not productive and one of hostility, then no, there is something wrong with you and not your work environment and in no way should any employer tolerate that. This is not what I mean when I say to be yourself. Yourself should be one of positive energy, of encouragement but when you notice that your own work environment doesn’t encourage that, then it won’t work. Your job is where you spend most of your day, therefore it must be an environment where you feel safe.

It is a must, of course, to feel safe in your relationships. Relationships are about growth, trust, communication and knowing you can be yourself. Now, I must write and I have noticed that it’s not with everyone that you can be your 100%. You will notice that there will be those who you can be 80% with, others perhaps 75%, some 90% and only a select few 100%. With any close interaction that you have with someone, you must feel safe no matter what percentage of yourself you are. If not, it can’t work.

Feeling safe is just as important as being safe, “being safe” as in being physically away from harm and danger. Feeling safe helps form a glue in relationships and at home with your loved ones, it makes going to work so pleasant and it helps you feel more confident about yourself. Being aware of this is a must when it comes to your well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You a Liability to Yourself?

Many times we don’t have the life that we want, we don’t feel as great as we are capable of feeling and we don’t reach our fullest potential not because we are not deserving of all the things that we want but because we are our own liability.

The meaning of liability is something that can cause a disadvantage. So with this said, when you are your own liability, you put yourself in a disadvantage in the sense that you yourself cause your own misfortunes, your own failures, your disappointments, etc.

You are probably wondering “how so?”. Well, there are many ways to be your own liability. You can do this through your own beliefs. If you deep down inside don’t believe you are worthy, don’t think you are enough, don’t think that you are capable, these beliefs hinder you of the very thing that you want. This is something to be dealt with ASAP since not dealing with one’s own beliefs can keep recreating what it is that you don’t want.

You do this through your thoughts, whether these are thoughts about yourself or thoughts about your life. This can kind of be related to your beliefs but with thoughts, think about what it is that you think on a daily basis. Your thoughts do influence your emotions.

You can be your own liability by the things that you allow in your life. What kind of messages are you allowing in? What kind of relationships are you allowing in your life? What kind of environments are you choosing to be a part of? What kind of labels are you allowing? You can truly become what you allow.

What kind of shape are you emotionally? We are driven by our emotions. We make decisions based on our emotions. When emotionally we are not right, we won’t have the capacity to make decisions with clarity. When emotionally we are not right, we open the doors to bad things to come into our life.

When you come to the realization that you are your own liability, it is a must to get help. Sometimes it is hard to do this on our own and that is when it is a must to reach out to someone who can help. This is for your own good as well as the good of your own well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.