Be Thankful for Hurtful Situations

Still today my most popular blog post is “Why Do Good People Get the Short End of the Stick?” and this only indicates to me that there are many who are hurt. We are conditioned to numb hurtful situations either through drugs, medications or any other addiction. The truth is that for as long as you ignore the root cause of the hurt, the wound will be there. If for so long you have been putting a band-aid on a big wound, this blog post may be for you. If you constantly find yourself recreating the same situation over and over again, this blog post may be for you. It is precisely for these reasons that you must be thankful for hurtful situations.

I would like to make something clear. I am not implying to allow hurtful situations. I am not implying that you be always happy for the hurtful situations. However, when you can learn to see the value in whatever hurtful situation you are placed, you allow yourself to become a better person because of it and that’s when you will be able to be thankful for the hurtful situations.

Unfortunately we learn more from the painful situations than we do from the good experiences. As a friend of mine, Kay, always reminds me, it’s important to see the lesson. The reason why it is important to be thankful for hurtful situations is because there are lessons to learn. One of the biggest lessons being that most likely there are issues within you that are still unresolved.

It is important to realize not just with our mind but with our heart as well that we are all meant for abundance, healthy relationships, genuine love and all that our heart desires but unless we are willing to do the inner work that it takes, we will continue recreating the same experiences over and over again.

It is a must to recognize patterns in your life. These patterns are gifts from the universe so that we can know that there are things that we need to work on. Once again, unless we are willing to do the work that it takes, we will continue experiencing the same patterns over and over again.

Most of the time we allow hurtful situations to question our self-worth when what we need to question is not our value but our own self-esteem. Remember, the situations and relationships that we allow in our life are in direct proportion to the way we view and feel about ourselves. In other words, we allow things that fit how we feel and view ourselves, as hard as that may be to believe. This took me a long time to fully understand. It is a must to remember that things can only have an effect on us if we allow it. Other people’s reactions and perceptions of us are not our problem, it is a reflection of who they are. However, the moment you allow their reaction to become your problem, that is a reflection of how you see yourself.

One of the hardest things to realize is that the things that happen in our life many times are our own mirror. For your well-being, no matter how hard the inner work may be, it is a must to assess your own role in attracting the kinds of situations and people that you attract and assess how you see and view yourself. This is just one of the many things that hurtful situations can provide to us- the opportunity for greater growth. Don’t deny yourself of the opportunity of greater growth just because the pain seems so much to handle.

I love the story of how pearls are made because, believe it or not, pearls come from something that irritated the oyster. The oyster must remain open if it is to live but in the process, it is vulnerable to things that may hurt it or irritate it like a grain of sand. In order for the oyster not to allow that grain of sand to irritate it, it covers it with layers of nacre, which then forms the pearl. That’s exactly what can happen in our life- we can create pearls from the very things that hurt us.

I would like to encourage you in today’s post to make pearls out of your hurtful situations. Don’t let it make you bitter, resentful nor hateful. All these emotions are just poison for you. You are worth much more than that! What others do, let it be a lesson for you. Make it into a pearl and learn to be grateful for that hurtful situation.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.
You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.
Also, should you want a healthy way of dealing with the everyday things that we tend to go through in life, you are more than welcome to contact me so that I can also show you how essential oils can help you and your family have a healthier life. You are more than welcome to visit my store at http://my.doterra.com/AuraEMartinez. I will soon be having online courses on different topics in regards to essential oils.

To What Degree Is Vulnerability Not Good?

What makes me address this topic of vulnerability are two things: 1. as human beings it’s only normal and human to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is what makes us human, what can humble us and we can actually grow from our vulnerabilities. 2. I read an article that was a bit disturbing about someone who I will not mention the name but the fact that some people have mentioned how she uses other people’s vulnerability to exploit them just saddens. Although being vulnerable is only human, there is a certain degree of vulnerability that is not good and it is this kind of vulnerability that I would like to discuss in today’s blog post.

Many may want to hide their vulnerability and that’s understandable. I don’t think anyone wants others to think that they are weak or anything negative of that sort. I would like to make emphasis once again that there is nothing wrong with being and feeling vulnerable because that is what makes us human. It also doesn’t make you a weak person. However, like anything, too much is the same as too little. Being and feeling too vulnerable to the degree that look outside of yourself so much to the point that you don’t look within can be very dangerous territory to tread.

I looked up two places for the definition of vulnerability. On Google, the definition was “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally”. On the Cambridge English dictionary, the definition was “able to be easily hurt, influenced, or attacked”. There is a point I want to prove with these two definitions. If you are “exposed emotionally” in terms of you feeling hurt because you are grieving or you went through some trauma or you feel depressed at the moment or anxious, any of the things that human beings go through, in this case, there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable because it takes courage to be vulnerable and come out of all that stronger. However, if you are “able to be easily hurt, influenced, or attacked”, then vulnerability is a problem.

I also would like to discuss the part of the first definition of vulnerability “….being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed…”. I think the word itself has had a bad reputation, for lack of a better word, because it is when someone is vulnerable when they can “feel” or “think” they are defenseless. I would like to encourage you to believe that vulnerability does not mean powerless. Vulnerability can take you to greater heights in being able to understand others in a way that some perhaps may not. You will only be defenseless if that’s what you believe and if you give your power away just because life threw something at you that you were not prepare for.

Now on to the kind of vulnerability that is not good. Vulnerability is not good when that puts you in a position where you no longer validate yourself. When you need others to validate you constantly because you feel powerless, that’s a problem. Trauma, childhood issues, abuse, depression, anxiety, none of this need to make you powerless. You are a beautiful being, made to perfection even with your imperfections and made with a purpose.

Vulnerability is not good when you give someone the power to make the decisions for you, to tell you what is right for you or anything of that sort. YOU have the power to make your own right decisions. YOU are the only one who truly knows what is right for you. Others can help lead you to your own path and help you figure it out on your own but if you need someone else to lead you rather than you lead yourself, this kind of vulnerability is not good.

Vulnerability is not good when you allow mistreatment from others. When you are not aware of other people’s mistreatment because you are too “vulnerable” to realize this, this is a major problem. Yes, as human beings we need love, to be needed and to belong but it should never be at the price of our self-esteem. It’s too expensive to lose your peace of mind, dignity and self-love.

Vulnerability…..it’s one of those topics that must be discussed since it affects our well-being but we determine how we let it affect us. It can affect us in a positive way if we allow ourselves to grow from the experience or it can affect us in a negative way, allowing it to rob our self-worth, our power and our connection with ourselves.

This is my longest blog post yet and it was because of that disturbing article I read that I needed to address this topic. If you are feeling vulnerable at this moment, I would like to please encourage you to utilize your vulnerability for growth, not for self-destruction. It’s necessary for “bad” things to happen because we can grow from it and be better because of it. Of course, I quote the word bad because this word can mean different things for different people. It is with the intention of helping you view vulnerability in a lighter light that I write this blog post.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

The Grass Is Never Greener On the Other Side

I think as human beings it’s only normal to think that perhaps others have it better than us, that perhaps we can find someone better than the one we are currently seeing, etc. This kind of thinking although it may be natural to feel, it can prevent you from seeing all the good that is front of you. It is because of this that I would like to encourage you to see that the grass is never greener on the other side.

Don’t wait until something is lost for you to start valuing it. Remember that you currently have things that others would like to have. That may be the job that you have someone else may want. That can also be the relationship that you are currently in someone else would like to have a relationship like yours. Perhaps even a physical quality of yours someone else may want to have. Whatever it is, remember that you have something that someone else may want.

Also, your grass is as green as you make it. Perhaps other people’s grass looks greener because they are taking care of their own grass. So with this said, start taking care of what you currently have. Whatever it is that you see others have, why don’t you try your best to have that as well but just in a way that it’s unique to you. Start taking the steps necessary so that you can have the things that you want, the life that you want, the relationships that you want, the job that you want, etc.

I would like to encourage you to start seeing the wonderful things that you have in your life. Ask yourself: What can I be grateful for today? What do I have that is just great? What are some things about myself that are amazing? How can I improve the relationship I’m currently in? What are the aspects of this relationship that I love? What are some things that make my job great?

Asking yourself these questions will get your brain thinking and moving toward a more positive direction. Remember that your grass will be as green as you make it to be. Do your best to tend to your grass. Take care of it in every season so that it can look its best. Remember that in every aspect of your life, what you put in is what you get out. If you want your life to be as great as you want it to be, that is up to you to do the work that it takes. You have the power to make your grass as green as you want it to be and remember that just because other people’s grass is very green, doesn’t mean that it is greater and better than yours.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Nothing Belongs to You

“What in the world Aura?! Nothing belongs to me?! What kind of a post is this when it comes to my well-being?!” you may wonder. Well, in today’s post, I want to give you a perspective that can make you stronger and even a healthier person because indeed nothing belongs to you.

It’s sad to lose. It’s sad to lose a parent, a child, a spouse, a relationship, a job, anything, you name it. The reason why these things hurt is because of the meaning that they have for us or the meaning we have attached to it. However, if you can adopt the mindset and the knowing that nothing belongs to you, then nothing will hurt so much to the point of extreme pain.

One thing I want to clarify is that with this post, I am not encouraging coldness. I am not encouraging isolation nor lack of attachment to people or things. Belonging and relationships are what add meaning to our life. But it is the healthy belonging and healthy relationships what add meaning to our life. Unhealthy attachments to anything only leads to misery and lack of well-being.

Nothing belongs to you in the sense that nothing is truly your property- not a spouse, not a parent, not a job, not a child, nothing. Your true property is your body- your brain and your life. When you understand this with your mind and soul, letting go of things can be a bit easier. It is not easy to let go of things or people you care about, but when you can remember that nothing belongs to you, you know that things can go at any time.

Nothing belongs to you frees you from having to prove yourself to others. All you are supposed to be is your best self and when this is who you are, then those who are supposed to be in your life will be in your life. There needs to be a balance to things and although you are responsible, say for example, for the relationship that you have with your spouse, you can’t be something that you are not to please him or her. So this concept of “nothing belongs to you” frees you to just be yourself without any worries.

Nothing belongs to you makes you less attached which makes you less of a slave. That’s right! Strong attachments can make us a slave- a slave of hurt, a slave of the past, a slave of dependence, a slave to misery, etc. The best freedom to have is the freedom to be who you are truly meant to be which is a joyful, healthy person. In order to be this joyful, healthy person, you can’t have strong attachments to anything.

Nothing belongs to you frees you to happiness because it is then when your happiness isn’t dependent on someone else’s actions or lack of action, a situation, etc. When nothing belongs to you, all you care about is what you have control over which are your reaction to things, your emotions, your thoughts and your actions. That’s it.

The “nothing belongs to you” notion is a must to increase in well-being. This is not about being cold, not having any attachments or not caring. On the contrary, this is about having healthy attachments and about love- love towards yourself AND others. Yes, this is even about loving others because loving others is about freeing them to make their own choices even when we don’t like the choices they make. Loving others is about allowing others to be as they please even when it doesn’t please us. Loving others is also about losing them even when it hurts.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How Hungry Are You?

Hunger….is something that we try to suppress because let’s face it, hunger is uncomfortable. No, I’m not referring to physical hunger. I’m referring to the hunger that you have to improve your life and well-being.

I constantly hear people saying that they want a better life but yet if you ask them “what are you doing to have the life you want?”, they say nothing. I have said over and over again, it’s not enough to just want, you have to be HUNGRY. So I would like to ask you now, how hungry are you?

How hungry are you to lose weight? If you are not doing anything to change your diet and lifestyle, then you are not truly wanting to lose weight. How hungry are you to change your financial situation? If you’re not doing anything viable to start changing your financial situation, then you truly don’t want to change it. How hungry are you to make your dreams come true? If you are not taking the first step to get to where you want to go, then you truly don’t want that dream to come true.

It is a must to face your fears. Fear is a part of life but it doesn’t have to stop you! Things will be challenging but it’s all part of the bigger picture. Also I want to encourage you not to compare your first step with other people’s first step. The reason for this is because everyone is in a different journey in life. Everyone’s path will be different no matter how similar it may be.

I learned to embrace hunger. Hunger creates pain so I encourage you to feel that pain. Feel it until the continue feeling of that pain is greater than the fear you may feel. That is what will help you do what you must do in order to have the life that you want.

Once again, and I mean it with all my heart, wanting is not enough in life no matter what you may want. You need to have hunger. Hunger is a must because hunger pushes you to do what you must do in order to satisfy that hunger. So don’t suppress the hunger. Feel it until it seriously hurts then do something to change the situation.

So if you want the things you want but are not doing anything serious about it, ask yourself how hungry are you. The lack of action is an indicator that the hunger is not there. It takes being hungry to take the action necessary to have the life and well-being that you want. Embrace that hunger until it hurts and then go do something about that hunger!

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

“It Will All Somehow Get Done”

These past few weeks have been extremely stressful. The last time I’ve been so stressed was when my dad was very ill but this stress, which was brought upon goals that I had set for myself, was certainly not a healthy one. It brought acne to my face, so much that I haven’t seen in a long time, and a body breakdown last week Friday which led to me being in bed all day. I constantly heard a low voice telling me “It will all somehow get done” and had I listened to this inner voice, I don’t think I would have reached that point of stress. It is this that I would like to encourage you in today’s post….no matter what it is that you are trying to accomplish or need to finish doing…it will all somehow get done.

It will all somehow get done, therefore, there is no point in stressing. For what? To stress your body unnecessarily? Raise your blood pressure unnecessarily? Get yourself all out of whack mentally? It doesn’t matter how many goals you have, nothing is more precious than your body so it is a must to relax in the thought that everything will resolve itself.

It will all somehow get done, therefore there is no point in worrying. Worrying is so energy consuming to the point that it paralyzes you. It is actually a low energy vibration so this certainly won’t get you to where you want to go. Worrying robs you of mental and emotional agility, which you need when you have a lot going on.

It will all somehow get done…if you always keep this phrase in your mind, this will help you decrease any negative emotion you may feel due to the overwhelming pressures you may have. As long as you focus on the end result, whatever it is that you want to do, you will see the results of your labor.

It will somehow get done….a powerful phrase, believe it or not, and a way to train your mind and body to not stress itself because of life’s pressure. You were not meant to be stressed to the point of being sick. Enjoy everything you have to do, even the things that are not so pleasant- they are all part of the journey of growing into the person that you are meant to be.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Importance of Saying “No”

You probably wouldn’t think that this has much to do with your well-being, however, “no” should be a part of your vocabulary in order to increase your well-being and this is what I will be discussing in this week’s post.

There is a Spanish saying that goes “Quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta” which means that if you try to get your arms around too much, you won’t be able to squeeze. In other words, if you try to do so much, you will get none done. There is only so much that anyone can do and the more you want, not only do you have to take breaks and stop for a moment, you have to say “no” to some things that can come your way.

Stress should be reserve for real emergencies- when a family member is ill, when you are ill, when there is an accident, etc.- not for every day stuff of life. Stressing because you are taking up on so much will only lead to illness and to frustration. It will take you out of alignment and won’t help you think straight.

I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again, it’s great to have goals, it’s great to want so much out of life. However, you don’t ever want to take yourself to the point where you break down. That does no good to anyone.

Saying “no” is about setting priorities. In order to achieve much, you need to set priorities first and then once those tasks are completed, move on to the next task. It’s not that certain things are not important to you, it’s just that in order for you to be able to complete that other project successfully, you first must complete the one you have at hand. Also, you must know what would make the most difference now and work on that first. This is another way to get more done- knowing what would make the most difference in your life if that task was completed.

Saying “no” is about setting your own boundaries. You set boundaries for yourself and for others. Your well-being must be a priority, first and foremost, and so when you say “no” to certain things, you are avoiding getting yourself into things that at the end will just drive you mentally crazy because it’s too much to do and physically exhausted because having so much to do does wear the body down.

Make saying “no” a part of your vocabulary. This is about you taking care of yourself, not taking on too much stuff than you can possibly handle at the moment and setting boundaries. Others may have their opinions in regards to your “no” and that’s ok. At the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters most and you never want to take yourself to the point of a breakdown.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.