Look Forward to New Memories….

I’ve had some people wanting me to post about grief, especially since I lost my dad back in May of 2016. Those who know me well, knew some of the hard times I’ve had. Somehow at this time it is difficult for me to write about grief because I am still grieving my dad. Nonetheless, grief doesn’t only apply to when we lose a loved one to death, one can grief the ending of many things like the ending of a job that one love, the end of a relationship, the end of a friendship, and the list goes on. So how does one deal with these kinds of grief that I just discussed? Although I think no one and nothing is replaceable, I think the best remedy is to allow yourself to feel the emotions you feel, go through the grieving process but always look forward to new memories.

We as human beings have a need to belong, feel needed and of connection. This is because this provides us with some sense of purpose. We need purpose because that is what gives our life meaning. Without purpose, life just feels meaningless and life is not meaningless at all.

Grief is a process that we all will go through at some point of our life and we all go through it in different ways. For two years, a part of me was in denial of my dad’s passing, and mind you, I was there when he passed away. Denial is one of the stages to grieving. Then it hit me on year 2 of his passing that he is actually physically gone. During the two years that I was in denial, I did gain weight. I gained weight because a big part of me didn’t want to feel the emotions I was feeling. This is a big mistake.

Not wanting to feel your emotions is a big mistake because all these emotions will find an outlet somehow. That outlet can be alcohol to numb your emotions, overeating or not eating much, smoking, shopping excessively, among many other things that can mask your emotions.

In any kind of loss that you may have, it’s important to allow yourself to go through the stages that you have to go through and feel your emotions. Know that life goes through different seasons. With any kind of loss, it’s important to allow things to flow. Allow yourself to process what happened. Allow yourself to feel the impact of this loss. Allow yourself to experience the stage of grief however way it needs to go through. But, if you notice that you are hitting rock bottom, please seek help. Know that you are not alone. And remember one very important thing, it’s important that no matter the loss, know that you have new memories to look forward to.

If you are going through a divorce, know that you have even more beautiful memories to experience because the person that is for you has yet to arrive. If someone who you thought was your friend for many years all of a sudden that friendship is broken, know that you have even more beautiful memories to experience with other people who have yet to arrive in your life. You lost a job that you so care about, know that you have even more beautiful memories to look forward to since a bigger and better door has yet to open. You lost a person you care about because they passed away, you still have beautiful memories to look forward to, even if that person will no longer be a part of those new memories.

The reason why you want to remind yourself that you have new memories to look forward to is because when we remain in the thought of what is lost, that can set us back even more, contributing to us hitting rock bottom. Grieving a loss is only natural. That is not something for you to avoid or force yourself not to go through. But what you don’t want to do is remain in the feelings and thoughts of that loss for too long to the point where that is your only focus point.

For as hard as it may be to accept, it is important to always keep in the back of our mind that nothing is forever, not even we are forever. This is the reason why we need to enjoy the present time we have, make the most of it, and know that there are new memories to look forward to always. This mentality is what will allow you to be resilient during very hard times. Wherever the mind goes, the body will follow.

So with today’s post, I want to encourage you if you find yourself feeling very low due to a loss, please remember that you have new memories to look forward to. I dedicate today’s post to my mother who is sadden by my dad’s passing since they have known each other since they were 11 years old. This is because I want her to remember that she still has new memories to look forward to, even if my dad is no longer in those new memories.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

 

 

 

When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

It’s Important to Grow Some Balls

In today’s post, I’m changing the meaning of growing balls. When reading “growing balls” one may think of courage but this is not what I’m referring to. “Growing balls” means to toughen up, to be an adult and to be mature.

I will start off this post by sharing that about a week ago, I just had to confront someone, and I have to admit it was not pretty, that just pissed off both someone else and I. This person who I will call Jane, had an attitude with us and just seemed off. At one point, I had enough of her that I had to call her off and I asked her in a tone that was not very nice “What is wrong with you?!”. Jane proceeded to continue to get on our nerves and then broke down with someone else and expressed how she was very sad because her boyfriend broke up with her. That person that she confided with came up to me and said how she is crying and is sad because her boyfriend broke up with her and I expressed how I didn’t give a damn what is going on with her. I stated how she needs to grow some freaking balls because it is no one’s fault that her boyfriend broke up with her. Now you can see where this title comes from.

The reason why I honestly didn’t care and had to express that she needs to grow some balls is because it is important to remember that EVERYONE, not just you, has a story, a baggage, a load that they are carrying. It is NOT other people’s fault what happens in your life and it is certainly not fair to take out on others the hurt that you feel. Little did Jane knew that on that same day it was a month since my dad’s passing and that the other person who she pissed off his father is very ill. Jane had no right having an attitude with us because if that’s the case, then I too have a “right” to have an attitude with others because my dad passed away. The other person too had a “right” to have an attitude with others because his dad is very ill. I hope you can understand why it is wrong to take out on others your frustration and sadness.

Doing so makes people become distant from you. I’m pretty sure it is not your intention to push people away but you do so if you take your frustration and sadness out on others. It makes others resentful of you and besides, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be thought of as someone who is not nice to be around.

So what is the solution when you feel so much sadness, frustration or even anger? It is not the easiest solution but it is a must and it is to grow some balls. You need to toughen up in life because life is composed of many aspects that unfortunately includes things that we may not like. Break ups are hard but everyone has gone through some heart break. Death is a part of life because it is the cycle of life. Illness is not easy but it is a must to be able to handle it in the best way possible. It is ok to feel sad, angry and frustrated- you are only human. But it is NOT ok to take out your frustration, anger or sadness on others.

Part of being an adult is being mature. It is a must to not act out or lash out on others. It is a must to take things as being a part of life. It is a must to try to look at the positive of things. It is a must to compartmentalize so that you don’t spill onto other areas of your life your frustration.

If the last two paragraphs don’t motivate you to grow some balls, at least remember that everyone has a baggage that they are carrying as well. Some people are better at hiding their heavy luggage than others and this may be the reason that you may not see the load that they are carrying. It is important to be empathetic because you never know other people’s story. I think if most of us could remember this, this could greatly add to our well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.