Look Forward to New Memories….

I’ve had some people wanting me to post about grief, especially since I lost my dad back in May of 2016. Those who know me well, knew some of the hard times I’ve had. Somehow at this time it is difficult for me to write about grief because I am still grieving my dad. Nonetheless, grief doesn’t only apply to when we lose a loved one to death, one can grief the ending of many things like the ending of a job that one love, the end of a relationship, the end of a friendship, and the list goes on. So how does one deal with these kinds of grief that I just discussed? Although I think no one and nothing is replaceable, I think the best remedy is to allow yourself to feel the emotions you feel, go through the grieving process but always look forward to new memories.

We as human beings have a need to belong, feel needed and of connection. This is because this provides us with some sense of purpose. We need purpose because that is what gives our life meaning. Without purpose, life just feels meaningless and life is not meaningless at all.

Grief is a process that we all will go through at some point of our life and we all go through it in different ways. For two years, a part of me was in denial of my dad’s passing, and mind you, I was there when he passed away. Denial is one of the stages to grieving. Then it hit me on year 2 of his passing that he is actually physically gone. During the two years that I was in denial, I did gain weight. I gained weight because a big part of me didn’t want to feel the emotions I was feeling. This is a big mistake.

Not wanting to feel your emotions is a big mistake because all these emotions will find an outlet somehow. That outlet can be alcohol to numb your emotions, overeating or not eating much, smoking, shopping excessively, among many other things that can mask your emotions.

In any kind of loss that you may have, it’s important to allow yourself to go through the stages that you have to go through and feel your emotions. Know that life goes through different seasons. With any kind of loss, it’s important to allow things to flow. Allow yourself to process what happened. Allow yourself to feel the impact of this loss. Allow yourself to experience the stage of grief however way it needs to go through. But, if you notice that you are hitting rock bottom, please seek help. Know that you are not alone. And remember one very important thing, it’s important that no matter the loss, know that you have new memories to look forward to.

If you are going through a divorce, know that you have even more beautiful memories to experience because the person that is for you has yet to arrive. If someone who you thought was your friend for many years all of a sudden that friendship is broken, know that you have even more beautiful memories to experience with other people who have yet to arrive in your life. You lost a job that you so care about, know that you have even more beautiful memories to look forward to since a bigger and better door has yet to open. You lost a person you care about because they passed away, you still have beautiful memories to look forward to, even if that person will no longer be a part of those new memories.

The reason why you want to remind yourself that you have new memories to look forward to is because when we remain in the thought of what is lost, that can set us back even more, contributing to us hitting rock bottom. Grieving a loss is only natural. That is not something for you to avoid or force yourself not to go through. But what you don’t want to do is remain in the feelings and thoughts of that loss for too long to the point where that is your only focus point.

For as hard as it may be to accept, it is important to always keep in the back of our mind that nothing is forever, not even we are forever. This is the reason why we need to enjoy the present time we have, make the most of it, and know that there are new memories to look forward to always. This mentality is what will allow you to be resilient during very hard times. Wherever the mind goes, the body will follow.

So with today’s post, I want to encourage you if you find yourself feeling very low due to a loss, please remember that you have new memories to look forward to. I dedicate today’s post to my mother who is sadden by my dad’s passing since they have known each other since they were 11 years old. This is because I want her to remember that she still has new memories to look forward to, even if my dad is no longer in those new memories.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

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The Real Definition of Strength and Being Strong

Many times we mistaken certain qualities of a person of strength and who is strong for weaknesses that I feel it is important to write about the real definition of strength and being strong just so we don’t get certain things confused.

There will be times in life when our strength will be tested and during times where we have every right to to feel the way we do, certain emotions and actions may be interpreted as weaknesses. I would first like to describe what a person who is strong and of strength is.

A person of strength is someone who shows courage despite the fear. It is someone who does what they can to handle the most difficult situation in the best way they can. This doesn’t mean that they don’t feel resistance with the challenge that is put on their path, not at all. It means that they accept the way they feel, they know they have the right to feel the way they do and they do their best to work through what they are going through. It is someone who does their best to see the positive in their situation. It is someone who puts their best foot forward. It is someone who doesn’t give up even when they feel like it.

A strong person is someone who is creative because they know that despite the circumstances, they have to make things work. It is someone that even when they are down, they still lift others up. It is someone who reaches out for help when they know they need it. It is someone who has the courage to cry when something prompts their tears to fall down their eyes.

As you can read, being strong doesn’t mean that you don’t feel pain, that you are always happy, that everything is going super well for you, that you are superman or superwoman or that your life is all well put together. Not at all! This is because life is not always well put together. That’s because there will always be something put on your path that will challenge you. That’s because you are only human and it is ok to feel sad once in a while when a situation does take you to that point. It is ok to feel pain when a loved one is sick or even passed. It is ok to love and then feel hurt when that love is not corresponded.

It is time that we start giving the real definition to what having strength and being strong mean because for your well-being it is a must to know that life happens, there will be things that will hurt you and there will be times where you will be challenged. There is nothing wrong with seeking help when you need it. That actually makes you a very strong person because it takes maturity to admit when one needs help. If there is any doubt in you as to whether or not you are strong due to circumstances in your life that are challenging, I hope this definition sheds some light to you and provides you with the comfort that you are still a strong person.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.