When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

I decide to live….

In today’s blog post, I would like to encourage you to say to yourself “I decide to live”. Why? Because going through the motions of life is not living, it’s just existing and existing is the fastest way to death.

The reason why I write that it “is the fastest way to death” is because in essence your soul will feel dead. When you just go through the motions of life, not living with a purpose, you will slowly get to a point where you will question what you have been doing and was it all worth it.

So start declaring the following to yourself….

I decide to live despite the fact that I may get hurt. This is because rejection, hurt, disappointments are all part of life. They are part of my growth so that I can make better choices in the future. They all help me get clear as to what I want and need in different areas of my life. They all add up to the bigger picture of life.

I decide to live despite the fact that I may be afraid to make certain decisions. This is because living in fear will only paralyze me and put me further from the person I was always meant to be. I will take risks and I will take these risks because without them, I will remain wondering “what if” and the “what ifs” will only put me in a place full of regrets. I prefer to regret the chances that I took than the chances I never took in life.

I decide to live because when my time comes, I want to be in peace with the life I have lived. I want to be able to say I did everything that I always wanted to do. I want to know that I am leaving a legacy of strength, love and courage.

I decide to live….. saying these kinds of affirmations are necessary for your overall well-being because well-being requires risks. When I write “risks”, I’m not referring to risks that place you or your overall health in jeopardy; I’m referring to risks that you know would be healthy for you but that for some reason you are afraid to make because of a past experience, someone else’s experience, being afraid of the unknown, etc.

When you decide to live, you are making a commitment to yourself to be the best version of you. This is a promise that’s a must if you want to feel whole. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have moments of doubt or even regrets, but this will put you closer to having everything you ever wanted in life. So you decide whether you want to live or exist. I want to encourage you to decide to live because just existing is poison to the soul and that poison will catch up with you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

You Can’t Afford to Ignore the Signs

I’ve come to the realization that many times, we are the ones who unintentionally bring upon ourselves huge disappointments that cost us our peace, well-being and can sometimes, if we allow it, hinder us from moving forward. However, rest assure that at ALL and I mean at all times the universe provides signs to you as to whether or not something is for you and people do reveal to you who they truly are if you are open to it. Because our peace and well-being have no price, today I would like to emphasize to you that you can’t afford to ignore the signs.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs because your energy is the most precious thing you have. Your energy, and when I write this I mean your overall energy not just your physical energy, is one of your currencies. When your energy is not right, you can’t be your full self. When your energy is not right, you can’t attract the things and people you want. When your energy is not right, this will affect everything else in your life. If something or someone robs even a little bit of your energy, please take it as a sign that you must either walk or run to the other direction. The things and people that belong in your life bring peace and joy; they don’t rob you of your energy in any way.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs when someone is not compatible with you whether that is in love or any other relationship. But in order for you to recognize when this is the case, it is important to have a strong sense of who you are first. This is because unless you have a deep connection with yourself first in order to understand yourself, you won’t fully understand your needs and wants. You will lack the discernment to know when something is not right for you for whatever reason. Ignoring this kind of sign can lead to unnecessary hurt and disappointment that may take time to heal.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs even when something is right for you. It’s easy to be confused in the middle of hurt, disappointment, hearing other people’s voices, etc. If you really want to know if something is right for you, you have to be right and connected with yourself first. It all starts with and stems from you. Losing people or things that can be right for you can be regretful in the long run and quite frankly, a little too late. Make it a point to strive to be healthy and happy by choosing things and people who add to your happiness. People will show you who they truly are and it’s just a matter of opening your ears and eyes and taking in what is being presented to you.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs when a door is supposed to close shut. I know for personal experience this can be a challenge. Years later I end up realizing why that door needed to close and I ended up regretting even trying to open that door. When a door closes shut on you, (with this I’m referring to things not working out, or a job loss, or the end of a relationship, etc.), just believe and have faith that it was meant to close. Trust me that I know how hard this is, I know all too well but it’s important to know that you did nothing wrong for that to happen and that certain things are just not meant to be in your life for your own good.

If there is one thing that I would like for you to take away from this is that in order for you to have the capacity of not ignoring the signs that you are receiving, you first need to be deeply connected with yourself. It is from that deep connection that you will have the discernment that you need so that you don’t ignore the signs again.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Are the Fashion!

I am impressed to see what is in fashion when it comes to image. It seems as if we are taught to accept things that are not a part of us. I was impressed to learn that freckles are now in fashion, so much so that people are willing to paint freckles on themselves. I have freckles on my face, not a lot, but some that are noticeable and I remember that as a young girl, I wasn’t happy about my freckles. Now I love them but back then no.

In today’s post, I would like to encourage you for your well-being to embrace the fact that you are the fashion. The way that you are created is exactly the way you are supposed to be and that no one, not even someone with so much influence, has the right to dictate to you what is hot and what is not. Remember that YOU are HOT just the way you are. It’s not the big butt, the small butt, the tone butt, the straight hair, the curly hair, the long hair, the short hair, the one with freckles, none of this is in fashion. Whatever you are, however way you are, YOU ARE IN FASHION.

Why drill this in your mind? Because it is important to have self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is key to great well-being. It is a must to feel great just the way you are. It is important to see how sexy you are no matter how you look. It is important to know your value as a person. It is important to know that you are beautiful just the way you are.

It is also important to ignore the outside messages when it comes to the way you look. Society may say that because your hair is a certain way, because your body looks a certain way, you are not acceptable or good enough. You may be in an environment where people don’t look like you or act like you so you feel like an odd ball. All this can cause havoc on your self-esteem and self-concept that can affect your well-being. Please know that you are the way you are, you have the tastes that you have, you look the way you do for a beautiful reason and purpose. You are wonderful just the way you are. You are handsome/gorgeous just the way you are. You don’t need to be a certain height, a certain weight, a certain nothing to be great. You are ENOUGH just the way you are!

Please remember that YOU ARE THE FASHION. YOU ARE IN FASHION and will ALWAYS be in fashion. It’s important to remember your value and not listen to outside voices nor other people’s opinion of what is right and what is not. Your well-being depends on this.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Choose People Willing to Do the Inner Work

In today’s post, I want to discuss the importance of choosing people willing to do the inner work.

Healthy relationships start with you. When I write the word “relationships”, I mean any close interaction you have with another human being so this includes friendships, family members, and romantic relationships. How and why does a healthy relationship start with you? Because first you have to be right with you. You have to love yourself. You have to love life. You have to see your own potential. You have to see your own beauty. You have to see your own value. You need to be willing to do your inner work. Once all this is in place, then you choose based on that.

So say for example, if you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, without realizing it, you most likely will choose people that they are unhealthy themselves. A person with an unhealthy relationship with themselves won’t be able to choose people that are right for them either because deep down inside they don’t feel deserving of healthy love, etc. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you are quick to notice when something isn’t right for you and you let it go. This is why it is crucial that you are right with you first.

Just as it is important that you do your inner work, it is important that you choose people willing to do the inner work themselves. This is because people who are not right with themselves don’t have much to offer. We can only offer what we have. So someone who is afraid to make certain decisions and is afraid of happiness will only give fear to you. This means that if you try to engage in a relationship with them, they will confuse you to death because their actions will be that they will push you away or do something that turns you off, etc.

It is only when you are clear in who you are, what you want, on your value and what you deserve that you will get what you want and more. It is then when you can engage in healthy relationships with others, when you can feel great about your life, then attracting more great things into your life and have more to offer to others.

You can tell when someone is willing to do the inner work. How can you tell? Well, let me start off by stating the signs of someone not willing to do the inner work. The first sign is that they live in fear. They are afraid to be happy so they push people away. They have commitment issues that they are not willing to resolve. They are very judgmental of others for silly things. They always find fault in others. They choose to be in relationships or situations that don’t make them happy. They constantly talk about problems. You feel heaviness the moment you are with them. The list can go on. The point is that you end up wondering what happened, is there something wrong with you, your energy shifts for the worse and so on. None of this is good!

Doing the inner work requires one to be willing to look within themselves and work through any issues they may have. It requires one to challenge their limiting beliefs. It requires seeking help should one need help. It requires to notice the patterns in the choices one makes and then be willing to take responsibility for the role they played. Doing the inner work is not easy because of all the emotions that will resurface but it is necessary in order to uncover the things that are holding you back.

Be willing to choose people who are willing to do the inner work because doing so will lead to healthy relationships in which you yourself can blossom as a person. Because you deserve to be loved exactly for who you are; because you deserve to be fully happy; because you deserve a great life, you need to be the first one to be willing to do the inner work so you can then choose someone willing to do the same. You owe this to yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Are Where You Are Because That’s Where You Want to Be

Today’s post may be a hard one to digest for many. I know it has been and sometimes still is for me. Today’s post is about how you are where you are because that’s where you want to be.

Why can this be a hard one to digest for many? Because many times it is hard to admit that the reason why we are where we are in life is because that’s where we chose to be. “But Aura, this life that I’m currently living is not what I chose for myself?! All these things just happened to me!” Well, some situations may have occurred but in order for your life to change, in order for you to increase in well-being, it is a must to take responsibility for your life. Just like I’ve mentioned in my speeches, not doing so is like sitting on the passenger seat watching your whole life go by while allowing something or someone else to determine how your life will be. This is why in the book, Creating a Lifetime of Wellness, I encourage readers to take responsibility of their life.

Think about this for a moment, you are making choices every single day. Whether you like your choices or not is a different story but you indeed are making choices that all either add or delete from your well-being. The relationships that you have or the lack of relationships….your choice. The job or career you have…your choice. Your health…your choice. And even if you are predisposed to certain illnesses, and this will be another topic because I do believe that we are not our genes, it is your choice to decide how you will be health-wise. Everything is a choice!

So if you find yourself in a relationship you are not happy with, you are where you are because that’s where you want to be. If you find yourself that you are not happy with your health, remember that you have a choice as to what to do with your health and you can decide if you want to be healthy or not. Believe it or not, most of the things that you have and where you are, you are where you are because that’s exactly where you want to be.

If for whatever reason you are not happy where you are at the moment, then you seriously need to question why you are not happy. What needs to happen in order for things to be different? What can you do now to change your current situation? What actions do you need to take in order for things to flow the way you want them to flow? What do you want out of life?

Remember that you are the one in control of your life and of what you have. You have what you have because that’s what you want to have. You are where you are because that’s where you want to be. Complaining doesn’t serve unless if it is just to let out of your chest what you feel but this doesn’t change anything. What changes things is taking action. So if you want and need things to be different, then you must take action.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Nothing Belongs to You

“What in the world Aura?! Nothing belongs to me?! What kind of a post is this when it comes to my well-being?!” you may wonder. Well, in today’s post, I want to give you a perspective that can make you stronger and even a healthier person because indeed nothing belongs to you.

It’s sad to lose. It’s sad to lose a parent, a child, a spouse, a relationship, a job, anything, you name it. The reason why these things hurt is because of the meaning that they have for us or the meaning we have attached to it. However, if you can adopt the mindset and the knowing that nothing belongs to you, then nothing will hurt so much to the point of extreme pain.

One thing I want to clarify is that with this post, I am not encouraging coldness. I am not encouraging isolation nor lack of attachment to people or things. Belonging and relationships are what add meaning to our life. But it is the healthy belonging and healthy relationships what add meaning to our life. Unhealthy attachments to anything only leads to misery and lack of well-being.

Nothing belongs to you in the sense that nothing is truly your property- not a spouse, not a parent, not a job, not a child, nothing. Your true property is your body- your brain and your life. When you understand this with your mind and soul, letting go of things can be a bit easier. It is not easy to let go of things or people you care about, but when you can remember that nothing belongs to you, you know that things can go at any time.

Nothing belongs to you frees you from having to prove yourself to others. All you are supposed to be is your best self and when this is who you are, then those who are supposed to be in your life will be in your life. There needs to be a balance to things and although you are responsible, say for example, for the relationship that you have with your spouse, you can’t be something that you are not to please him or her. So this concept of “nothing belongs to you” frees you to just be yourself without any worries.

Nothing belongs to you makes you less attached which makes you less of a slave. That’s right! Strong attachments can make us a slave- a slave of hurt, a slave of the past, a slave of dependence, a slave to misery, etc. The best freedom to have is the freedom to be who you are truly meant to be which is a joyful, healthy person. In order to be this joyful, healthy person, you can’t have strong attachments to anything.

Nothing belongs to you frees you to happiness because it is then when your happiness isn’t dependent on someone else’s actions or lack of action, a situation, etc. When nothing belongs to you, all you care about is what you have control over which are your reaction to things, your emotions, your thoughts and your actions. That’s it.

The “nothing belongs to you” notion is a must to increase in well-being. This is not about being cold, not having any attachments or not caring. On the contrary, this is about having healthy attachments and about love- love towards yourself AND others. Yes, this is even about loving others because loving others is about freeing them to make their own choices even when we don’t like the choices they make. Loving others is about allowing others to be as they please even when it doesn’t please us. Loving others is also about losing them even when it hurts.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.