The Ingredients For Healthy Relationships

I had a conversation a few days ago with a good friend of mine and we were talking about what makes a healthy relationship. It seems as though nowadays there is so much confusion about how one needs to be, how to properly communicate and there is so many question marks on people’s mind and all this is so unnecessary. So today’s post will be about the ingredients for healthy relationships because relationships do play an important role on our well-being.

You need healthy relationships and this includes your relationship with your family and friends and in romantic relationships. All the ingredients discussed in this post apply to all kinds of relationships.

First ingredient is maturity. It takes maturity to have a healthy relationship. Before I write what I mean with “maturity”, I will first write what teenagers do that adults should be way passed that stage. Teenagers or people who are not mature enough just text important discussions. This is a big no no because so much can be misunderstood through texts. Texting important discussions is a way to avoid what is going on and only teenagers or immature people do that. Mature people have either face to face or over the phone discussions. Why? Because it is important to confront situations head on in order to gain clarity and avoid hard feelings. Teenagers and immature people blame rather than understand their role in the situation. It takes maturity to admit that you too played a role in what happened in a situation and to take ownership for how the relationship goes. So what I mean with maturity is that one puts aside childish ways in order to be a grown adult. You can’t have healthy relationships with childish ways.

Second ingredient is communication. Healthy relationships require effective communication. This includes saying how one feels and listening to the other person. When I write “listen”, I don’t mean “hear”. Hearing is the mechanical aspect of what the ears do. Listening requires you to put aside what you are feeling and thinking and try to understand what the other person is saying so you can understand where they are coming from. It’s important to state clearly how you feel and what your intentions are. It’s important to be straight forward. It’s important as we get older to always make it a goal to be better in communication.

Third ingredient is honesty. Healthy relationships require that both parties are first and foremost honest with themselves and then with others. Honesty may not always be easy. It’s easy to want to lie to oneself for whatever the reason may be, either because of fear of the outcome, beliefs that we have told ourselves, etc. For two people to be on the same page, it is a must to first be honest with yourself and then with others. You deserve your own honesty and others deserve your honesty as well. Many friendships and relationships are severed because of this.

Fourth ingredient is confrontation. Healthy relationships confront with one another. It is unfortunate that the word “confrontation” has such a negative connotation but the reality is that how are two people supposed to be on the same page if they don’t confront?! Confrontation simply means two or more people coming together to discuss something. This requires maturity which is why I listed maturity as the first ingredient.

I’m sure there are more things that are required in order to have healthy relationships but for the sake of this blog, I am only including four of the ingredients that I consider to be the main ingredients for a healthy relationship.

If there is any relationship that you care about that you feel is not as healthy as you need it to be, I would like to encourage you to consider if any of these ingredients mentioned in today’s post is lacking and do your part to include this into that relationship. It takes all parties involved to make a healthy relationship, this means that this includes you.

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The Willingness to Mature

What does maturity have to do with well-being? A lot. Maturity comes in different ways. There are circumstances in life that forces us to mature, experiences that we go through over and over that leaves us with no option but to learn from those lessons of life. But more so, I think in order to mature, there needs to be a willingness to mature. I believe maturity is essential to well-being because when we are willing to mature it means we are willing to grow and growth is part of wellness.

Growth is what leads us to become better human beings on every level. Maturity requires us to grow. Without the willingness to mature, we become stuck and when we are stuck, eventually we will become miserable even if at the moment we may feel comfortable. Maturity does lead us to having the life that we want. For example, it takes maturity to be in a healthy, loving relationship. To know what your needs and wants are, to be willing to commit to another person, to be willing to take time for a relationship takes growth from your part because you had to look within to know these things about yourself. That takes maturity. Another example, to realize that it is ultimately you who is responsible for taking care of yourself, for taking care of your health, for making sure that you eat right takes maturity because it means that you took ownership of your life. For some it is easier to put the responsibility on the doctor for their health, it is easier to make a loved one responsible for whether or not they eat. It takes a certain level of maturity to take ownership of your mistakes and to learn from them.

The process of maturity is not easy because it requires changes and changes can feel quite uncomfortable. It feels uncomfortable because as human beings we feel comfort in the usual stuff even if that means that the usual isn’t working for us. For us it feels better to leave everything as is. The only problem with this is that sooner or later reality will hit us until we can no longer remain where we are.

For this reason, one of the things that we should be willing to do is to mature in every way each day. We are the sum total of what we do on a daily basis and it is for this reason that we should be willing to mature in every way. Growth leads us to true well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.