Fillers Are Just That….Fillers!

I think and observe and I’ve come to the conclusion that so many things are filled with fillers. Normally when one hears or reads the word “fillers”, they may think of supplements since there are supplements filled with fillers but claim to just have vitamins and minerals. Well, it’s not just supplements that have fillers, I challenge you to think if you are filling your life up with fillers.

What are these fillers that I am referring to? Well, fillers can be many things. It can be you being so concerned for another person as a way to not pay attention to what you need to be concerned with which is yourself. It can be you getting distracted with something that only adds drama into your life in order to fill up a void you may have. It can be you trying to put a band-aid on a wound that still needs to heal. All these things are just filling up on something that needs to be worked on.

Fillers in food can be toxic over time. This is because the body was not designed to handle those kinds of chemicals. Same thing with the fillers that one may try to add onto their life. You are meant to feel whole and great on a consistent basis but you can’t for as long as you avoid the real issues in your life. One thing I need to clarify in this post is that when I write, “you being so concerned for another person”, I am not referring if you are a mother or father of a young child or teenager or if you are a son or daughter who is there for an elder parent. That is NOT what I am referring to. I am referring to whether you are worried and concerned about everyone else except for yourself. It is important to remember that if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be in the right position to care for another person.

Fillers are also toxic because overtime, the body gets to a point where it can no longer handle what is being ingested. The same thing goes to fillers that you allow in your own life. Overtime, those fillers either won’t be enough to get you to a point of wholeness or those fillers will be toxic for you mentally and emotionally. There is a Spanish saying “no puede tapar el sol con un dedo” which means “you can’t cover the sun with a finger”. You can’t hide for long what is really wrong in your life. You can’t deny for long what needs to change in your life, otherwise it will all catch up to you.

If you currently find yourself or know someone who finds themselves trying to do everything possible to fill themselves up in ways that are unhealthy, I encourage you and the other person, then, to think about any ways that you may be filling your life up with fillers. You deserve a whole and great life and certainly fillers are not the way to get there.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Positive and Negative of Everything

I’ve been pondering and asking myself why for many great things there has to be a negative to it. I’m working out this morning and although I love to workout and I’m helping my health with that, my hair has to be a nice mess afterwards. It makes me feel as if I have to choose between my body or my hair. Same thing with other decisions that I have to make, there are positives and negatives to everything. It makes me wonder why this is and this is what today’s post will be about.

I think one of the best comparisons to describe how life functions is a battery- it has a positive and a negative side. The battery, in order to function the way it is supposed to, needs both sides. If both sides are positive or negative, it just can’t work right. For as much as we would like for life to just have the positive, it can’t function if there is no negative.

So what’s the purpose of having both in our life? They both help balance each other out. This goes with everything in life. You can’t understand what true happiness is unless you know what sadness is. You can’t fully comprehend what true abundance is until you experience lack. You don’t fully appreciate your body until you get sick. You don’t fully appreciate the role someone plays in your life until you miss them. Certain places have to have their own downside because otherwise if it were to suite everyone, there would be a problem whether that problem is a place being overpopulated or very stressful, etc. This is what having the good and the bad can do, it can balance things out.

Balance is what contributes to your well-being and this is key. You need both sides in order to balance out your life. It is through balance that things can work in harmony. Nature intended it to be that way.

Having the negative along with the positive can bring out the creative side in us. This is because the negative can make you look for solutions as to how to a handle a situation. For example, I have to be creative with my hair in order to make it look nice after I workout. Certain things force the creative side of you and that is great.

So, if nature intended it this way, how can one handle the positives and the negatives when making certain decisions? When it comes to making decisions, you have to see what weighs more for you. It’s a matter of knowing who you are and knowing what matters most to you.

When it comes to cases where the negatives of something highly impacts your well-being, if it’s a decision that you made to have that positive in your life but it comes at a high price, then you have to mold yourself to the negative. What I mean with this is to find a way to work around the negative. For instance, if it’s a job that affects your health due to odd hours of work, then create your life and make a schedule that can still fit your job. The point is that you want to work with what you have and make the most of it.

Life indeed is like a battery with its positive and negative sides and both are needed in order for things to work in harmony. Both sides are needed in order to have balance in life. I encourage you to start looking at everything from this perspective.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

What to Do When There Is No Closure

Closure is important for many reasons and we all need it when something has come to an end. Take for instance when it’s our time to go. The purpose of funerals is to provide some sense of closure by coming to the realization that the person is physically no longer on this earth however painful it may be. This same concept applies to everything in life and this indeed affects your well-being.

When something has come to an end, whatever that may be, closure is a must. It is a must to have that final moment or words that will help you mentally and emotionally come to terms with what has occurred. Whether that is a breakup of a marriage,  boyfriend/girlfriend, friendship, job loss, etc. it is that closure that eventually helps you move on. Perhaps at the moment you may not be happy with the closure, even if one was provided to you, but eventually you will see the blessing that it was.

There are moments though where there is no closure and that for some can be painful. It can be painful when someone breaks up with you with no concrete explanation. It can be painful when anything abruptly ends without any warning or reason. What must one do then? The answer is you have to provide yourself with your own closure.

Closure helps one move on. Unfortunately not everyone will have either the maturity or the strength to provide you with a decent closure that you need. It is in these cases when it is a must for you to provide your own closure. How so? At first it is only normal to play and replay everything that happened in order to figure out what went wrong or what you could have done differently. I can tell you for personal experience that although it may help in some cases, in these kinds of cases where the other person didn’t provide any warning, it’s not even worth your energy trying to analyze what went wrong.

As human beings we are flawed by nature. Each and every one of us carries a luggage. Some luggage may be very heavy, others are light. It is nice if someone is carrying a light backpack, wouldn’t that be nice?! The luggage/backpack that I am referring to is issues, we all have them. The key is to not have such huge issues that terribly interferes with our well-being and to always be willing to work on them. With this in mind, remember that 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. I will repeat this, 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. People respond, live and behave according to what they are thinking and how they view themselves. What others have to say about you, what they do and how they respond to certain things is none of your business.

With this said, there will be those who will behave and react in ways that we will never comprehend. As long as you know you have been honest, loving, caring, and all the positive things with the other person, if for whatever reason the other person behaves in a way that makes you feel hurt, know that those who don’t belong in your life have to leave your life. Anyone who doesn’t value you as a person, value your friendship, value what you have to offer, YOU ARE SO LUCKY. Let me repeat, you are so lucky! It is a must for your well-being to stop allowing the lack of closure from others, their lack of vision, for lack of a better word to mean that they can’t see your value, and their behavior to hurt you to such a degree that a piece of you gets chipped.

Bless anyone who leaves your life, it’s your blessing not a curse! Feel grateful for anyone who does you wrong, they taught you a lesson and you know who they are and where they belong which is out of your life! Feel lucky for anyone who can’t see your value, they are already telling you they are not meant to be of any service in your life! Provide your own closure by knowing that you are the winner in any “misfortune”. Provide your own closure by knowing that you did good to the other person so your karma is good. Provide your own closure by knowing your value. It is a must for your well-being.

Closure is an essential part to one’s well-being because it confirms to us that something has ended. However, when closure is not provided to you or when the closure isn’t satisfying to you, it is a must that you provide yourself with your own closure by knowing your value, by knowing that you are ALWAYS the winner whenever anyone lets you go or whenever any door closes. Thank God for those who let you go and for those closed doors, they are leaving space for the right people and things to come your way.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Balance Between Giving

I realize that other people can tremendously give meaning to our life. It does because we are social beings and as social beings, we have a need to love others and be loved. In order to live a much more meaningful life, it is essential to be a giver, not just a taker. When one hears the verb “giving”, it can easily be thought of as giving to others, however, there are two types of giving that I would like to discuss in today’s post.

The two types of giving is the one when you give to others and the second is the one when you give to yourself. It’s the balance between the two the key to having a truly meaningful life.

We are meant to share what we have- share who we are, what we know, how we feel, what we possess, the love we have, etc. Keeping all this to ourselves is not only selfish, it will also leave us feeling empty and this is because at the end of the day, even up to the final hours of our life, it is the relationships that we have and the quality of those relationships what will mean the most to us.

There is a sense of satisfaction and even completeness to a certain degree when we give to others. By sharing, we are leaving a part of ourselves with those people and we’re adding to their life. Sharing gives us a sense of belonging as well. The one thing to keep in mind when sharing with others is that it is important to share the right things with the right people. With this I mean that when you share your most valuable possessions- that being your body, your heart, your mind, your emotions- it is important to share them with people who care about you. The body part refers more to when you are in a romantic relationship. Your heart, mind and emotions go for both romantic partners and friendships. One thing you will learn if you haven’t learned already is that not everyone will be worthy of your most valuable possessions. When you share with those who can’t value these things, this is when it is easy to feel empty inside. It is the sharing them with the right people that will make you feel good and full.

Just as it is equally important to give to others, in order for you to give to others it is a must to first give to yourself. You can’t serve from an empty glass and this also is the same when it comes to you. You can’t give to others when you don’t give to yourself. First be very giving to yourself- share with yourself love, respect, kindness, goodness, the best stuff, the best food, etc. It is in the you giving to yourself that you will have more than enough for others. You will be overflowing with goodness for others. One thing I must add is that if you are giving to others so that others can give to you, that is a BIG mistake. This actual giving will leave you feeling empty because first of all, you are taking from the little that you have to give to others. Second, because we are all energy, people can sense when we give in order to receive. People can sense when we are not loving to ourselves or when we give out of desperateness. So giving to yourself FIRST is a MUST.

Balance between these two types of giving is a must because although there is great satisfaction in giving to others, you can’t truly give to others from the heart if you first don’t give to yourself.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-alm%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Are You a Liability to Yourself?

Many times we don’t have the life that we want, we don’t feel as great as we are capable of feeling and we don’t reach our fullest potential not because we are not deserving of all the things that we want but because we are our own liability.

The meaning of liability is something that can cause a disadvantage. So with this said, when you are your own liability, you put yourself in a disadvantage in the sense that you yourself cause your own misfortunes, your own failures, your disappointments, etc.

You are probably wondering “how so?”. Well, there are many ways to be your own liability. You can do this through your own beliefs. If you deep down inside don’t believe you are worthy, don’t think you are enough, don’t think that you are capable, these beliefs hinder you of the very thing that you want. This is something to be dealt with ASAP since not dealing with one’s own beliefs can keep recreating what it is that you don’t want.

You do this through your thoughts, whether these are thoughts about yourself or thoughts about your life. This can kind of be related to your beliefs but with thoughts, think about what it is that you think on a daily basis. Your thoughts do influence your emotions.

You can be your own liability by the things that you allow in your life. What kind of messages are you allowing in? What kind of relationships are you allowing in your life? What kind of environments are you choosing to be a part of? What kind of labels are you allowing? You can truly become what you allow.

What kind of shape are you emotionally? We are driven by our emotions. We make decisions based on our emotions. When emotionally we are not right, we won’t have the capacity to make decisions with clarity. When emotionally we are not right, we open the doors to bad things to come into our life.

When you come to the realization that you are your own liability, it is a must to get help. Sometimes it is hard to do this on our own and that is when it is a must to reach out to someone who can help. This is for your own good as well as the good of your own well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

One Killer to Great Relationships and Great Life

There are many things that can kill great relationships and life but this week, I would like to write about one that seems to be so prevalent nowadays and that’s such a shame because this one masks great things into something that you would think you have to push away, it pushes away from you things and people that can add to your life as well as make you blind to your own mistake. This one thing is called pride/ego.

It’s important to have pride in oneself- pride in who we are, pride to not allow others to hurt us, pride to set boundaries of what is allowed in our personal space and what is not allowed, etc. However, there is a certain kind of pride that is hurtful to you and that’s the kind of pride that comes from your ego. The ego always seeks to protect itself. The ego is selfish. The ego doesn’t know any better and this is why our pride can’t come from the ego.

How does this pride/ego hurt your relationships and you from having a great life? Well, first off, one may ask what consists a great life. A great life is not just one where you are career wise prosperous or financially prosperous or even when physically you are “healthy”. It consists of so much more such as your mindset, your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, etc. It consists of having a balance in every area in your life or at least striving for balance. There will be moments where it will not be perfect, a great life is not about perfection. It is about having a healthy balance and having great relationships in life. In fact, relationships and this means any interaction that you have with others, is the basis to a great, healthy life! It is your relationships with others that grows you. It is your relationships with others that truly fulfill you.

How pride kills all this is that it blinds you from seeing things the way they are, it makes you ignore your inner being and what it is trying to tell you, it doesn’t allow you to see where you went wrong when something went wrong. It makes you blind, deaf, numb and all the things that you must not be in order to live a great life.

The way to combat this pride/ego is by being truly honest with yourself as to who you are, what you want, seeing your role in everything that happens and admit the role that you played in anything that happens. Think about the bigger picture. Being right at the cost of your relationships is not worth it. Keeping your pride because you don’t want to apologize for what you did wrong makes you lose. It makes you lose the potential of great people in your life. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are wrong, in fact, that makes you strong. There is nothing wrong with caring because it makes you human.

If you truly care about having a great life, start investing in good relationships- good friends, cultivating your relationship with someone you love, loving your spouse, telling the person that you care that you actually care, etc. Don’t let pride/ego get in the way of your relationships or in the way of you allowing something that can be great from happening. I think if most of us did that, we wouldn’t live in such confusion or hurt.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Difference Between Deserving and Entitlement

Last week I wrote about the topic of deserving and I continued to explain how you are deserving of anything that you need and want. I wrote that when it comes to deserving, what really determines this is how you think and feel about what you deserve and this is closely tied to your self-concept and self-esteem. Because of this tie, this definitely has an effect on your overall well-being. However, there is a fine line and it is important to notice the fine line. This fine line is the feeling of entitlement which is the opposite from deserving and it comes from a different place than deserving does. Feeling a sense of entitlement is not beneficial at all to your well-being nor the well-being of others and this is what I will be writing today.

Deserving comes from a place of having a healthy and balanced self-esteem. It comes from knowing that you are a lovable person with so much to offer to this world and that being the unique human being that you are makes you valuable already. Entitlement comes from the ego, it comes from a place of insecurity, from a place of egotism and all this weakens you as a person. How so? There is no way you are in control of yourself when you are letting your ego rule you. I did a Google search on the definition of “entitlement” and I think this definition clues us in to the difference between deserving and entitlement. According to Google “entitlement” means “the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment”. There is your clue-“privileges and special treatment“. You are deserving of good things but it is not healthy to think that you deserve special treatment in comparison to others.

How does feeling entitled hurt your well-being as well as others? Think about this, we are all inherently selfish. This isn’t necessarily bad, but we are that way. We always look at others for what we can get from them. This can be both good and bad, it all depends. Because of this fact, a person that feels entitled may act in ways that are not nice towards others, they may behave as if they are better than others and at the end of the day, who wants to be with someone like that?! This kind of thinking and behaving affects your social well-being.

In this world we are meant to help one another and grow each other. Being a person who feels entitled doesn’t allow you to give much to others because all you can think of is me, me, me. That can cloud you from your sense of purpose. That can prevent you from living a meaningful life because part of having a meaningful life is having a purposeful life. Also, a person who feels entitled doesn’t have much beautiful words to say to others. Even in the most minor way, you do have an effect on others. Why not make that effect a good one?

Entitlement can make you become intolerant of others. How so? Well, when you feel entitlement, because you are coming from a place of me, me, me, you don’t have the empathy to understand others. A perfect example of this is when someone who goes to the restaurant acting as if he/she is the only customer the waiter is serving. A person who feels entitled would be so impatient and even act mean towards the waiter if he/she feels they took long.

Deserving and entitlement….there is a fine line between the two because on the one hand you are deserving of great things in life but it is important to keep that deserving in check so that you don’t cross that line to entitlement. Never think of yourself as better or more deserving than others because that is not so. Other people are just as important as you are regardless of their economic status, of their physical condition, of the ethnicity, etc. If you somehow find yourself crossing that line, for your well-being as well as the well-being of others, get back to knowing that you are deserving and feel grateful for the blessings that you have.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.