How to Fill the Inner Void

Today I would like to write about something that seems to be real for some and this kind of struggle is very real. The struggle that I am referring to is the one of an inner void.

Since well-being starts with you, this means that it starts with being whole. Being whole by default means that there is no void. Now, one thing that I would like to clarify is that it is perfectly normal to have certain needs that are just innate because we are human beings. These needs that I am referring to are- the need to feel needed, to be accepted, to be loved and the need for companionship. These needs are built within us because as human beings we are emotional and social beings. So having these needs does not mean that you are not whole.

However, when these needs are heightened to the point where you are willing to compromise your well-being to have these needs met, this is when there is a void that needs to be filled. I think many confuse having needs with having a void when there is a fine line between the two and that line is when those needs become so strong to the point that you are willing to compromise your well-being.

With all this said, how can one fill an inner void? Perhaps for some, they may not like what I’m about to write because maybe some are searching for immediate results to what they are currently feeling but I can guarantee you that greater satisfaction comes from going to the root of things. So the first place to start is by recognizing your inner value. It is important that you see and cherish your own inner value because when you see how valuable you are as a person, you will expect others to treat you like so. You start seeing your value by recognizing the attributes that you possess that make you an amazing person. It doesn’t matter if others have those same attributes, believe and know that there is something unique about you that no one else has.

Think about the things that bring you joy and start doing those things often. The more things you do that you enjoy, the better you will feel about yourself because you are nurturing your true essence which is your soul. This is one part of us that some tend to neglect and doing so can be detrimental overtime. Give yourself the time to feed your soul with things that makes it happy.

Surround yourself by people who appreciate you for who you are. Choose healthy relationships. Whether we realize it or not, the people that we surround ourselves by do have an influence on our self-concept and self-esteem. Choose people who have a healthy self-esteem, who love themselves, who are happy with their life and who are willing to do the inner work. I will discuss on another blog why it is important to choose people who are willing to do the inner work.

The last thing I will recommend that you do is to take the time to get to know who you are. There is tremendous power in knowing who you really are. When you have a deep understanding of who you are, you know what your needs are in every area of your life. When you have a deep understanding of who you are, you are more accepting of who you are and the choices that you make regardless of whether others are accepting of you or not. This understanding allows you to be in alignment which leads to greater well-being.

I am not going to lie to you that filling a void takes effort but that is effort that is worth it. If you want to fill that void completely and feel great on a consistent basis, you have to have that deep understanding and appreciate of yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation in which everything is built upon. When you feel void, you are not going to have much to offer to others. You will be coming from a place of neediness and anxiety and others will sense that because that is what you will be emanating.

I would like to encourage you to start looking at the traits that make you an amazing person. Start doing the things that make you very happy. Surround yourself by people who have a healthy self-esteem and who love their life. Have a great relationship with yourself. The moment you start filling yourself up, you won’t be heightening the natural needs that is only normal to have.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

If You’re a Leech, You’re In Great Need of Yourself

What an odd title. It’s probably not a title that you expect to read when it comes to your well-being but this situation of which I’m going to write about may be a situation that either you may be going through because perhaps you are the leech or you know someone who is like a leech to you or you know someone who is going through this.

First I would like to explain what a leech is if you don’t already know. A leech is a segmented worm that sucks blood. As you can perhaps tell from this description, a leech is someone who basically sucks the life out of you since blood can be considered the life of the body. Usually to consider someone a leech, this person is one who drains the energy of others, they may be in great need of attention, affection or love from others. This person may not necessarily mean to be a “leech” and suck the life out of others but they do so perhaps unknowingly.

How can you know when you are being a leech? You will know if you are sincere enough with yourself and know that you need other people’s approval in order to feel loved. You are constantly looking for the person almost in a smothering way. You will also know because either others will tell you that you are draining them or they will want to be away from you. Please understand that it is nobody’s responsibility to give you the love that you need. That is YOUR responsibility. You are the one responsible for creating a life for yourself, for loving yourself, for caring about yourself and for making yourself happy. Giving this responsibility to others is not fair for others nor for yourself plus it is a burden for others.

What can being a leech show you? This can help provide you with some insight as to how you are neglecting yourself. Self neglect does lead one to want to latch on to others and get from others what they are not giving to  themselves. If you notice this about yourself, stop yourself for a moment and give yourself some alone time. Don’t be afraid of your alone time. Some alone time can be great since it is during this time that you can get to know yourself better. Try to see what your soul is trying to communicate to you. You will be amazed at the areas of your life and of yourself that you have been ignoring.

If you have been a leech and have been annoying, know that many have been in your shoes and you can reverse that. You reverse that with some self-care. There is no other love like the one that you can have for yourself.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Need to Make Room For Everything

I wrote a post last year about what does it mean to be a positive person and I wrote that being a positive person doesn’t mean that you are always happy and that you just ignore everything that is going on. What I didn’t mention is that truly positive people are the ones who make room in their life for everything, the good and the bad. Making room for everything is so beneficial for your overall well-being and this is what today’s post is about.

Depending on the kind of person that you are or depending on how you have managed to resolve any issues that were unresolved issues in the past, it may be easy to make room for the good things in life. The reason why I started the sentence with “depending on the kind of person that you are or depending on how you have managed to resolve any issues that were unresolved issues in the past” is because believe it or not, there are those who don’t make enough room for the good things in life and this is not healthy. When this is the case, this may indicate that you have a fear of success which needs to be addressed as soon as possible since this is a hindrance to your happiness and well-being.

Likewise, you need to make room for the “bad” stuff as well. What do I mean with this? Whenever you feel sad or angry, make room for these feelings. Don’t hide them nor deny them. Allow yourself room to feel this way, what you can’t do is sit with this feeling for too long. You need to make room for the “bad” stuff because when you don’t, it just boils inside you like a volcano and it’s just a matter of time for that volcano to erupt. Instead, when you make room for this, you are releasing these energies in a healthy way by tending to them, by paying attention to them, by understanding them. I’ve wrote this before and I will write it again, there is power in understanding your feelings. There is also power in making room for these feelings.

How do you make room for everything? When it comes to the “bad” stuff, (and I write “bad” in quotation marks because these things don’t necessarily need to be bad), make some time to feel these emotions. So if you’re feeling sad, set some time to feel that sadness. Cry if you have to but once that time is up, that’s it. That way you can release those emotions rather than hang on to them. Understand those emotions. Emotions provide feedback as to where you currently are in your life, what you need and what you should be doing. After you understand your emotions then do something about what you are feeling. Whatever it is that makes you feel that “negative” emotion, then it’s best to stop doing it. Do things instead that will make you happy. Pay attention to the feedback and act accordingly.

Make also room for the good stuff. Make sure you get your daily dose of happiness. You need to make room for all the good stuff in life. After all, you deserve the good stuff. Make sure you do things that makes your soul beam with joy. Make sure you surround yourself with love and loving people. Make sure you allow yourself to be successful in love, in money, in everything. There are times that we don’t realize that we hinder these things from us.

Part of well-being is also making room for everything in life. It is the making room for everything that allows us to learn and grow from our experiences and makes us appreciate certain things better. It also allows us to have a better understanding of ourselves and others.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Beware of Your Needs

Needs are needs and they are to be acknowledged and respected. We all have a need to be loved, to be needed, to feel connected and a part of something, etc and these are all natural needs. Nothing wrong with them, except when we allow our needs to take over and rule our way of thinking, feeling and behaving in ways that compromise our well-being.

This is why I wrote for the title of this post “beware of your needs” because no matter what need it is, that need, if it’s not in check, can take over you and turn you into a person that you are not otherwise. Balance in everything is important and it also important when it comes to your needs.

I think one of the best ways to balance out your needs is by putting as a priority your sense of peace and well-being. When you make your sense of peace and well-being a priority, no matter how much you may want something, you will judge whether it is worth having what you need based on how it makes you feel and whether or not it adds to your life. A perfect example I can think of is when your need is to be in a romantic relationship. That is a normal need to have but when your priority is your sense of peace and well-being, when someone that may seem like a good candidate comes along, you will be a better judge of whether or not this person is worth having in your life because you are not as hungry for that need since something else has a bigger priority. The problem with needs is not the need itself but the intensity of that need. Feeling hungry is normal but when you are starving, even a salty meal tastes yummy although it is not good for you. This is why I suggest that when having a need, offset it by making something else that truly is important like your peace and well-being a priority so you are not as hungry and settle for something unhealthy for you. Just like you would have a snack in between breakfast and lunch so that by the time it is lunchtime you are not starving, there are other ways that you can better handle that need you have and something else needs to be a priority for you to control the intensity of that need. “How can the whole snacking in between meals be compared to needing a romantic relationship?” you may ask and the answer to this is that I think the secret to not being so hungry for a need is to have other things going on that somewhat satisfies that need that you have. For example, cultivating other healthy relationships such as friendships and family can help when it comes to a longing you may have.

There is nothing worse for your sense of well-being than losing your center and balance in life. When you do lose these things, you become someone you are not, you make choices that are not right for you, you settle for situations that are not healthy for you so in essence, you are compromising your well-being. Nothing is worth you compromising your well-being, not even a need.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Need To Lose In Order To Win

Wouldn’t it be nice that the person that we love loved us back and not have to go through so much hurt when it comes to love? Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to invest so much time nor money in a business when starting out? Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to workout every day and eat right every day for us to see weight loss? Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to go to dozens and dozens of job interviews before finding a job? Gosh, this all sounds exhausting, right?!

One thing we MUST all remember if we want ANYTHING in life is that we need to lose in order to win. “What Aura?! No way! I know there is a better way!” If this is what you are thinking, I’m sorry to disappoint you but it was not me who made up this rule, it was Life who made this rule. In every lose there is a lesson and great things don’t come very quick. Great things like love, a successful business, weight loss, a great career comes with lots of loses because there is great sacrifice involved. Don’t take my word for it, I will give you examples. When starting your own business, there is a lot of money that you have to invest because it’s the money to start the business, the advertising, promoting, education, rent if you have an office space, etc and with all this, there will be lose of money but that lose is gain in the long run, not necessarily in the short term. When you want a career, you need to invest in your education and for those who are doctors, lawyers, psychologists, they know it means thousands and thousands of money that they have to put in before they even succeed financially in their careers. It means most likely going for jobs that won’t pay much now in order for them to be where they want to be. When it comes to love, oh love, this is a big one for many. Those who have found great love I’m pretty sure have had their share of tears, disappointments and suffering before finding their true love. For those who didn’t, good for you, but all those disappointments, for those who have been greatly disappointed in love, they are lessons, yes loses but not so much loses if you consider that those experiences are gains in the long run.

What does this “you need to lose in order to win” have to do with your well-being and life in general? Oh, I dare to say it has so much to do with your well-being and life in general. If you think that the great life you want won’t come with moments of lose, you will be greatly disappointed and most likely you will give up on your dreams of achieving anything when the going gets tough. If you give up on your weight loss journey just because you plateaued or because you are not currently seeing results, you may miss out on some crucial learning that can catapult you to being the person that you want to be! If because you have been “rejected” by people that you like/love you decide to give up on love, you may miss out on recognizing the person that truly is the love of your life! If because you feel that you have invested so much money in your business, spent thousands and thousands of dollars in a business and because you haven’t seen results you give up on your dream of having your own business, you will end up feeling bitterly disappointed, giving up hope on the person that you want to become and you may miss out on being that great person that you truly are!

I think that rather than giving up on what is in your heart, remember that to win there will be some loses, perhaps even huge loses but with every lose comes some gain. It is to your benefit to remember this and to keep this in mind no matter what your goals and dreams are. Losing is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, if you allow it, losing actually makes you a winner because it takes great courage to be willing to lose in life.

Need Drama In Your Life? If You Do, Ask Yourself Why

There are some people, that it seems like, can not be without drama. Now, there are different levels of drama, different ways we create and invite drama into our life. Life in itself will give you enough reasons to have concerns such as having your health compromised or a family member who is ill, among other things. It is not good for your well-being to create nor invite drama into your life.

First, I would like to start off by defining the word drama. Drama is any unnecessary situation or person who adds unnecessary stress to you. There are many ways we create and invite drama into our life and many times we are not aware that we are doing this. I believe that the reason why we are not aware of this is because we are not aware of any needs that need to be met, of any issues that need to be resolved, or, we’re probably bored with our life and not realize it. Whatever it is, it is very important to understand why you feel the need to create this drama. The best way to have that life that you want is by knowing and understanding yourself.

How do we create or allow drama into our life and not realize it? I will share a perfect example that hits home for me because this is what I did for several years. For quite some time I longed companionship. Nothing wrong with wanting companionship except that I allowed this need to be so strong that I allowed guys into my life that were no good for me, thus creating drama into my life. This is just one of the many examples of how we can create or allow drama into our life because of “needs” that we have not met.

What this unnecessary drama does to you is that it impedes your overall well-being. It distracts you from all the good that you have going for you. It robs your energy- energy that you can utilize to focus on more positive and productive things. Like I said earlier, life will give you enough reasons to have concerns and worries. You don’t need to add to them. Focus on the things that work for you. Focus on the things that matter most- YOU and your loved ones and the things that make your heart jump for joy.

How can we eliminate some of this drama out of our life? I’m going to sound like a broken record but the best way to deal with any of the issues, conflicts, needs, voids, etc, in our life is by working from within. The best work you will ever do is working with yourself, to understand yourself. I believe this is the root cause to lots of things that happen in our life. Therefore, if you notice so much drama in your life, ask yourself why.

What Does “Disastrous Consequences” Mean When It Comes To Unaware Needs?

I would like to touch on a topic which I think a lot of us have been guilty of, including me, that I think is so important to discuss. On yesterday’s post, I wrote about how not being aware of your needs can lead to disastrous consequences but many of you may wonder what is meant by disastrous consequences. Now this phrase “disastrous consequences” can mean different things to different people. What I mean with this phrase is anything that compromises your balance in life and your well-being.

Just like our body shows symptoms when something is out of balance or when it is ill, there are things that we do that we may not be aware of that are “symptoms” of other things that are going on inside of us mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For me, for several years I did mindless shopping and got myself into thousands and thousands of dollars worth of debt, trying to fill a void. This is just one of the many examples of what I consider disastrous consequences. Other examples are overeating, not eating enough, drinking excessively, using drugs, being in abusive relationships, being around toxic people, etc. Of course, this just doesn’t happen overnight. These are behaviors that develop gradually and most of the time we notice them once we find ourselves in trouble, either we notice we owe too much money or we can’t be without a drink of alcohol or we find that we can’t stop eating, etc.

These behaviors become disastrous to your well-being because these are behaviors that turn into a vicious cycle in which it takes time to overcome. It is my belief that when you have a strong sense of who you are and what your needs are, you can make better decisions for yourself. You will understand why you allow yourself into certain situations, you understand why you allow certain people into your life, and why you made the decisions that you made. When you understand who you are, you can then start to align yourself in order to have the things you want out of life.

Everything in life always starts with YOU first. This is why I encourage and say that the best work you will ever do in your life is working on yourself. There is so much power in knowing who you are and what your needs are.