Are You Bombarded With the Should’s?

I can tell you from personal experience that being bombarded with the should’s is the fastest way to burnout. Burnout doesn’t contribute to your well-being. It takes away from your well-being. Greater well-being requires that you have things that ADD to your well-being, not that take away from your well-being. Because the should’s take away from your well-being, I feel the need to write about this.

The thoughts and feelings of “I should do this”, “I should do that”, “I should do this because my goals are…..”, none of this even sounds positive. There is no positive energy in the should’s.

So, what can you do with the should’s when the reality is that there are things that you must do because you have certain goals? Well, the answer is to reframe those should’s.

Reframing means to literally change the frame of something, meaning the “look” for lack of a better word of a situation. Just like the frame changes the look of a photo, the frame that you put on a situation changes your perspective and feel of things. So what you are going to do is change your perspective of the situation.

I remember back when I was so disciplined in toning up my body. I would spend several hours food shopping and several more hours cooking and prepping my meals. I would carry my food everywhere I went. All this, after a while, felt like a chore for me- a chore that I was getting tired of doing. It was at that moment that I knew I needed to reframe the way I was viewing everything that I was doing.

I needed to remember why I was doing everything that I was doing. I needed to picture myself with the body I wanted. I needed to remind myself to enjoy the process. I changed my should’s to wants. I want to go food shopping. I want to spend my time in the kitchen. I want to prep my meals.

So the answer is to change your should’s to wants. You want to do whatever it is that you feel it’s a drag to do. You want to because you enjoy it. It’s in the reframing your should’s that you will no longer be bombarded by them. That’s when life becomes enjoyable because you are enjoying the process rather than just going through the motions. You start enjoying the process because you are not only focused on the outcome.

Should’s, they don’t need to bombard you. It is just a matter of reframing your should’s so that you no longer feel like you are obligated to do the things that need to be done in order for you to get your desired result.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

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Reframe That Obligation

In today’s post, I would like to encourage you to something that perhaps at first may not seem to really make a difference in your life but it will. Have you ever wondered why going to work doesn’t feel the same as it did when you first started working at your job? Have you thought that your relationship feels like another job rather than something that you enjoy being a part of? Have you questioned yourself why something that you once loved doing you no longer love anymore? Although there can be many reasons for feeling this way, there is one thing that is a common denominator for some and it is the word obligation.

The word obligation, if you think about it, can tense the body. That’s because there is an implication that it is something that one must do rather than because one wants to do. Must and want are two different things. These verbs even feel different to the body and to the brain. It is because of this reason that I would like to encourage you to reframe the word obligation. Instead, I would like to encourage you to reframe it to choice.

Remember, and this is true, that everything is a choice. You working where you work is a choice. It is your choice to work at the job that you work. There are other jobs or careers out there and you instead chose the one you have. Remember that it is a choice to have the husband/wife/companion that you have. You showing affection, love, giving attention, all this you do it because you chose to love this person. So choose to see and know that you investing in your relationships is not an obligation, instead, it’s something that you choose to do.

You living where you live is a choice. You are not obligated to stay where you don’t want to stay. The environment in general is a choice. You choose the kind of people that you want to surround yourself with.

One thing I would like to clarify is that I am aware and I do understand that for some this may not be the case. I do understand that for those who, say for example, have a family to support, there may not be a choice in terms of the job that you may do because you may need the money. But there are two things that are choices and that is that you decided to have a family AND you can change the way you view your job. If you can change your perception of these two things, you can change the way you feel.

Everything must come from a place of love. Obligation doesn’t breed love. Wanting does. The moment you make things an obligation, that’s when things start to lose its glamour. Obligation can make the soul lazy. Laziness can numb us from our joy. The way to bring light and happiness to the things that we once enjoyed is by bringing back that love- love for our work, love for our partner, love for everything.

Remind yourself of the reason why you fell in love with your husband/wife/companion! Remind yourself of why you chose the job you have! Remind yourself how happy you were when you first had that job! Remind yourself when you first bought that house! Remind yourself so that you can start reframing those obligations that you have into choices that you have made. There are times that we must remember in order to get back to our happy place.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.