I can tell you from personal experience that being bombarded with the should’s is the fastest way to burnout. Burnout doesn’t contribute to your well-being. It takes away from your well-being. Greater well-being requires that you have things that ADD to your well-being, not that take away from your well-being. Because the should’s take away from your well-being, I feel the need to write about this.
The thoughts and feelings of “I should do this”, “I should do that”, “I should do this because my goals are…..”, none of this even sounds positive. There is no positive energy in the should’s.
So, what can you do with the should’s when the reality is that there are things that you must do because you have certain goals? Well, the answer is to reframe those should’s.
Reframing means to literally change the frame of something, meaning the “look” for lack of a better word of a situation. Just like the frame changes the look of a photo, the frame that you put on a situation changes your perspective and feel of things. So what you are going to do is change your perspective of the situation.
I remember back when I was so disciplined in toning up my body. I would spend several hours food shopping and several more hours cooking and prepping my meals. I would carry my food everywhere I went. All this, after a while, felt like a chore for me- a chore that I was getting tired of doing. It was at that moment that I knew I needed to reframe the way I was viewing everything that I was doing.
I needed to remember why I was doing everything that I was doing. I needed to picture myself with the body I wanted. I needed to remind myself to enjoy the process. I changed my should’s to wants. I want to go food shopping. I want to spend my time in the kitchen. I want to prep my meals.
So the answer is to change your should’s to wants. You want to do whatever it is that you feel it’s a drag to do. You want to because you enjoy it. It’s in the reframing your should’s that you will no longer be bombarded by them. That’s when life becomes enjoyable because you are enjoying the process rather than just going through the motions. You start enjoying the process because you are not only focused on the outcome.
Should’s, they don’t need to bombard you. It is just a matter of reframing your should’s so that you no longer feel like you are obligated to do the things that need to be done in order for you to get your desired result.
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