The Things That Held You Back

Some people may look back and realize that there were several things that held them back. Perhaps those things were the people around them, perhaps their environment, their childhood, their limiting beliefs, etc. and for some, the very thought of these things holding them back keeps holding them back.

The one thing you can never recuperate is time. Once time is gone, it’s gone. However, you still have more time ahead of you. The longer you keep looking back at the things that held you back, the more held back you will be. The things that once held you back don’t need to continue holding you back.

If you are held back for whatever reason, I want you to seriously consider the fact that perhaps it is you who is holding you back. Why do I dare you to consider this? Because the reality is that you can NOT control what others do. You can NOT control how others think. NO ONE has power over you. NO ONE can define you. NO ONE, unless you grant them permission, can do anything in your life.

I want to briefly discuss about childhood and this is one that is difficult to talk about since I know for some there were probably serious childhood issues. Once you become an adult, YOU have the choice as to whether or not you are going to continue to allow what happened to you to affect you. If you realize that the issues are too deep that you can’t handle them alone, then go seek a therapist or a psychologist. Get the help you need but don’t continue to allow your past to affect you in negative ways.

I want to briefly discuss limiting beliefs. It is a must to find the source of the limiting beliefs. You may be surprised to learn that the limiting belief you may have is someone else’s beliefs and you just internalized it as your own belief. It is important to challenge your beliefs if you are to grow into the person that you are meant to be.

I want to briefly discuss your environment. You don’t have to be your environment. If your environment isn’t congruent with the person that you are, that doesn’t mean that who you really are is wrong. Just like not all trees can grow in the same environment, we all can’t grow in the same environment. Know that you are much more than your environment if your environment is not a reflection of you. Also know that just because you are not like your environment, that doesn’t make you wrong. That just means that you are you and that’s it. There is nothing wrong with that.

The last thing I want to briefly discuss is people. What people think or say about you is none of your business. Your business is YOU and that’s it. Once again, you can’t control what other people do. You can’t control how other people think. People can only hold you back if you allow them to hold you back. Also people’s complexes and criticisms are non of your business. What other people decide to do with their life you can not control. The only person you can control is yourself so start to control yourself so that you can have the life that you want.

It is a must to control your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, your actions and what you allow in your life. Remember that nothing needs to hold you back unless you ALLOW it to hold you back. This is the key word- allow. Remember that you are the only one who can allow things to hold you back.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Get Sick of Wishing

Today I would like to encourage you to get sick of wishing. Why? Because wishing will take you nowhere. The secret to life, apart from knowing what you want, is taking action towards what you want.

So get sick of wishing for better health. Know that great health is in your hands by making better choices, by choosing healthy foods, by making the effort to exercise, by choosing to educate yourself in regards to any medications you are taking, any illness you may have and educating yourself in regards to the body.

Get sick of wishing for a better relationship. Work everyday on the relationship that you have because you are part of the equation of making that relationship work. If the relationship just isn’t working anymore, know that you have two choices- you either put in the effort it takes to make the relationship better or you decide it’s best to part ways. Either way relationship is work and great things do require effort. Also work on cultivating that relationship. Relationships need to be nurtured in order to thrive.

Get sick of wishing you had a better job and either make the best of the job you have or change it. Complaining all the time about the job that you have doesn’t help. It just helps at the moment because you are releasing the tension that you are feeling but what are you doing to change the situation? That is what matters most, what you are doing right now to change the situation.

Get sick of wishing you had a better life. I personally don’t believe in the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. You either are or you’re not, you either do or you don’t, you either know or you don’t. That life that you want is in your hands. Let me repeat, that life that you want is in your hands. It’s not in someone else’s hands. It’s not in someone else’s power. You have the power to decide what you will do with your life.

Get sick of wishing for more because if you want more, you have to go get it. Many people want more, who doesn’t but it is not a matter of wanting more, it is a matter of doing more.

Yes, get sick of wishing. Your well-being depends on it because for as long as you are wishing, you might as well just keep on waiting. Life is not for those who wish, it is for those who do- so get sick of wishing.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Different Ways of Being Healthy

I think we all know it’s important to be physically healthy. This is the most visible part of us, making it obvious the kind of lifestyle we have. For as much as taking care of our physical body is important, there are other ways to be healthy that are equally important if not even more since when these parts of us are not healthy, the physical body will suffer as well. It is important to be healthy mentally and emotionally and this is what this post will be about.

First I would like to discuss how can you know when you are not healthy mentally and emotionally. One of the most simple ways is by looking around you. Does your life reflect what you deserve? What kind of relationships do you have with others? What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Do you have any kind of destructive, unhealthy relationship in your life? How are you feeling most of the time? All these questions are indicators as to how is your mental and emotional state.

In other words, if you block out your own happiness, if you are living in fear, if you are being pessimistic, if you push away good things or people, if you live in the past and it is a hurtful past, if you allow negativity, then you are unhealthy mentally and emotionally.

What many may not realize is that for as much as one may want to put a band-aid on a huge wound or ignore the real problems in their life, one can NEVER reach full happiness. Full happiness comes from dealing with your issues when your issues are preventing good in your life. Yes, it is hard to open that luggage and go through everything and throw away what is not serving you but that’s when you have to ask yourself if it’s serving you to carry such a heavy luggage to begin with.

What does it mean to be healthy mentally and emotionally? It means to feel good about yourself and your life, to accept abundance, to accept and let in happiness, to know you are deserving, to know that you deserve to be loved right by others, to allow people who help you grow and who truly love you. It is mentally having the capacity to do away with things, situations and people who don’t serve you. It is being able to not stress what doesn’t matter. It is being able to focus more on the positive than the negative. It is doing whatever possible to develop mental and emotional agility in order to bounce right back from any disappointment. Being emotionally healthy is being able to love yourself even when others may not love you, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes and being able to accept yourself even when others may not accept you. It is you loving yourself more than anyone else. This act of love is a must since it is this kind of love that will prevent you from allowing situations, things or people who don’t make you feel good.

Being physically healthy indeed is very important but one can not forget how extremely important it is to be healthy also mentally and emotionally. When mentally and emotionally you are not right, there is no way to be right physically as well since all three parts are connected. If you feel your life isn’t the way you want it to be, I encourage you to look into these two parts of you and if you need intervention, by all means go see a psychologist or therapist. This is an investment that you are making in yourself and you are worth the investment. Your mind and emotions are assets to be taking care of, so make sure you do what you can to have these parts of you healthy.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Well-being Requires Honesty

One may not think that honesty has anything to do with one’s well-being but it does. The honesty that I am writing about is not the honesty that comes from others…..it is the honesty that comes from your own self.

Honesty is not always an easy thing. Honesty requires a certain level of courage and strength that sometimes it’s hard to have, especially during times of vulnerability. Sometimes for our mental and emotional sanity it may seem better to lie to ourselves but I can guarantee you that this will only bite you in your behind sooner than later. No matter how hard the truth may be, how hard it is to admit certain things, it is to your own benefit to be honest with yourself.

What does it take to be honest with yourself? It takes first and foremost self-love. There will be times where you may strongly want or desire something that either isn’t for you or that plain “rejected” you and this may crush your self-esteem and question your self-worth. It is during these times when your self-love will be tested. No matter what it is that you want or love, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else. I will repeat, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else!

“Well, what does it take to have that self-love?” you may wonder. It takes being able to see your own value even when others don’t see it. It is YOU who determine your value. No material object, no person, no circumstance, no man or woman, absolutely nothing else determine your value but you. If you can’t see your own value, it is hard to be able to love yourself.

You seeing your worth and your self-love will give you the strength to be honest with yourself at all times. When you can learn to be honest with yourself, you will not accept situations or people who compromise in any way your well-being. For instance, and I can’t think of a better example than this, when you really love someone or like them but you know they don’t feel the same, it doesn’t matter what you feel for them, if they don’t feel the same for you, you MUST accept that and take your self-love, your heart, your valuables (valuables meaning what you have to offer mentally, emotionally and spiritually and your body) and go find someone who is crazy about you just as you are crazy about them. You can’t afford to accept breadcrumbs from no one. You can’t afford to be an option for someone. Honesty requires you face the truth even if the truth sucks. Honesty requires you to let go even when it hurts to let go.

When you fail to be honest with yourself, the truth somehow will hit you on the face. You can’t sustain for long something that was never yours or something that was a lie from the beginning. In the long run, that lie will hurt more than you facing the truth right from the beginning.

A life of joy and sustained happiness require that there be honesty in every area of your life first and foremost from yourself and then from others. When you fail to be honest with yourself, you tend to accept things that are not up to par with what you need and deserve.

You deserve to be truly happy. You deserve to know what you have in your life. You deserve to know that what you have is real in your life. You deserve genuine love from yourself and from others. You deserve to have a life where you love your reality in every way. This is what you deserve but in order to have that, you must be honesty with yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Keep That Sparkle In Your Eyes

Life is meant for you to live it feeling good everyday. You are meant to be loved and feel loved. You are meant to give love. You are meant to share who you are with no shame or regret. You are meant to dream big with no shame nor limitation. However, there are moments in life where we may feel discouraged, full of regret because something didn’t come out the way we wanted, or we may feel rejected by something or someone. Life sometimes throws things in the way that may distract us, etc. When we allow these things to get in the way, this may limit us and rob us from having that sparkle in our eyes.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when something doesn’t come out the way you wanted it to be. Things happen the way they do because they are blessings in disguise. You must remember to thank God, the universe, life or whatever it is that you believe in that things happen the way they do. You may not understand why at the moment but you will in the future.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when someone “rejected” you. I had a conversation the other day about rejections and how when someone doesn’t feel something for you, even if you care about them so much, even if you are a good person, God or whatever it is that you believe in didn’t place that seed in them for your own good. They don’t feel for you the same way that you feel towards them because it wasn’t planted in them and only the higher being knows why and trust that in the end, it is YOU who is the winner. You are NOT the loser. You can’t imagine how many times I have been so grateful years later that something didn’t work out with the guy because in the end, they were so wrong for me in many ways and I thanked God that the guy saw it was wrong.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when you lose a loved one. This is a tough one and I truly understand this. Death, unfortunately, is a part of life but that doesn’t mean that the tie that you have with that person is totally lost. That person is still with you spiritually and can guide you in ways that they were not able to when they were alive. It is a must to remember that the best way to honor a lost loved one is by being the best version of yourself.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when there may be negativity around you. There are things you are learning that you may not even realize. There was a wonderful story I heard about three pots of boiling water. One had a carrot, the second had an egg and the third had tea. The carrot is hard and when placed in the boiling water, it gets soft and weak. The egg which is soft inside, when placed in the boiling water it gets hard inside. The tea which is just leaves inside, when placed in water it turns into an aromatic, flavorful drink. Which of the three do you want to be? When placed in situations of adversity, become like the tea, aromatic and flavorful as a result of it.

For your well-being, it is a must to keep that sparkle in your eyes. It is easy to become cynical or doubtful and hard on the inside but it doesn’t help you grow as a person. Don’t allow other people’s issues to become your issues. Don’t allow situations to turn you into someone you are not. Don’t allow “rejections” to become a reflection of who you are. None of these things have anything to do with you.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Failing Your Courses?

Have you ever noticed that you get the same experience over and over again, just with different people or even different circumstances? Sometimes these experiences are not even pleasant experiences. In situations like these, it is easy to believe that one may be cursed or just have bad luck or perhaps one is a magnet to those things. Have you ever considered that most likely this is occurring because you are actually failing your courses?

Yes, many times we fail many courses- the courses of life. You will forever be a student in the school called Life where every person you meet, every experience, every disappointment, every failure are your teachers. Many of them are great teachers, it’s just a matter of perspective.

I learned the hard way that indeed people do reflect the way we feel about ourselves. How so? Well, if you meet someone who mistreats you and you allow it, that person is teaching you that you need to learn to love yourself. The key phrase in the previous sentence is “you allow it”. This is because you don’t have to be a bad person for bad people to come into your life. Whether you have a good heart or not, you may encounter some people who are not nice, this is not a reflection of you at all. What DOES become a reflection of you is when you ALLOW them to treat you in a way you don’t deserve.

A bad experience can be a huge blessing and a preparation for bigger things that are yet to come. If an experience didn’t go the way you expected or hoped, you learning to see what went wrong and what you could have done different can help you understand what to do better the next time. When you think about what went wrong and what you could have done different, it is important that you do this without any judgement towards yourself. This is important because otherwise analyzing what went wrong and what you could have done differently can backfire you. It backfires you because you end up being hard on yourself.

A disappoint can be a real eye opener. It’s awful to go on in life with blindfolds on, not seeing what is in front of you. A disappointment prepares you for a bigger task and a bigger responsibility that may lie ahead. This is why disappointments can be true blessings.

A person you meet can teach you something you needed to learn or they can tell you something you needed to hear. Even someone that gets you on your nerves is teaching you something whether that be patience, how to mold yourself, teaching you to become more tough, etc. So learn to view even those you can’t stand as blessings because they too serve a purpose in your life. That is part of developing that mental and emotional agility that you need in life.

A failure shows you what went wrong and what to do differently next time. Failures are nothing to be ashamed of since they are a necessary component to life. Without it, you can’t learn to be humble, you don’t learn different ways of thinking or doing things and you just can’t grow as a person.

Once you learn a lesson, you will notice that life will test you to see if you passed the test. How do these tests look like? Well, the same situation will most likely come back again and that is the time to show what you have learned. Once you pass the test, you will notice that you won’t be repeating the same people nor scenario because you truly have learned your lesson.

You will always be given lessons and well, if you don’t learn the lesson right and pass the test, you will just be repeating the same course, over and over again with different people, different circumstances but the result is the same. So I encourage you to think about the following: what is one lesson that you are being pushed to learn? Are you meeting the same kinds of people over and over again? If so, what are you meant to learn? In what ways do you still have to grow? I guarantee you that if you master the lesson and pass the test, you won’t find yourself repeating courses.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Interesting Concept of “Breadcrumbing”

I have been hearing and reading lately about the concept of breadcrumbing. For those who don’t know this concept, what this basically means is the act of a person just texting you without any commitment, no phone calls and not seeing each other in person just to keep you hanging. Now, this refers more to dating but when I think about this concept, I would dare to say this is also seen in other relationships that are not only romantic. We are starting to see this concept spill over to friendships as well. Because relationships are at the core of one’s well-being, I will be discussing how detrimental this is when you allow this into your life.

Relationships are necessary for our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Without healthy relationships- let me put some emphasis on “healthy” because this is key- you will literally die while living in the sense that it is love that nurtures us. Healthy love. Once again, the key word is “healthy”.

So what does a healthy relationship look like? Healthy relationships are corresponded, meaning that you both want each other in your life, you both want each other’s company, you both reciprocate affection and effort. Let me repeat, you both reciprocate effort. What I mean with “effort” is that you both take the time to see each other, hang out, get to know each other and hear from each other. When I write “relationships”, I am not referring just to romantic relationships, I include ALL relationships- family and friends as well.

How does a healthy relationship feel like? It feels peaceful, joyous, happy, exciting, comfortable and safe. With “safe” I mean that you feel you can be yourself with the person. If you ever feel like you need to walk on egg shells, you have to hide a certain side of you, uncomfortable or you are wondering whether the other person feels the same way as you, that is not healthy. It’s not healthy because anything that makes you wonder or feel like you can’t be yourself creates doubt within you. Those who belong in your life will NOT make you feel doubtful about yourself.

When you allow someone in your life who only wants to text you, not see you when they can, shows no effort to make you a part of their life, that can hurt your self-concept. It can make you feel unappreciated and unloved because all they are offering you are breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs are not healthy at all. They are void of nutrition, apart from the fact that they are not filling. So when someone is only texting you and not taking the time to see you and get to know you, you are missing nutrients such as love, appreciation, acceptance, feeling and being included in their life. All these are nutrients that we need in order to feel and be good. Remember that as human beings we have a need to be needed and loved.

You do NOT deserve breadcrumbs! You deserve and NEED the full meal with the appetizers, the entree, the dessert and all that comes with a healthy, fulfilling meal! Remember that! Breadcrumbs are NEVER satisfying. When all you are accepting are breadcrumbs, you seriously need to question how you feel about yourself. You need to question what do you want out of that other person. You need to ask yourself what do you need. If a “friend” is only offering breadcrumbs, consider that an acquaintance, not a friend. Friendships are like a healthy meal- they are full and satisfying. If you don’t feel that way, it’s time to do some clean up when it comes to your social well-being. If a date is doing that with you, get rid of that s&%$ and move on! What that person is offering you has nothing to do with your value and all to do with what that person can offer which is NOTHING.

Breadcrumbing….it’s important to understand this concept so that you can know when someone is doing this to you. This is something to avoid accepting if you truly want great well-being. Remember, healthy meals are filling. Breadcrumbs….they are not filling at all!

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.