Be Thankful for Hurtful Situations

Still today my most popular blog post is “Why Do Good People Get the Short End of the Stick?” and this only indicates to me that there are many who are hurt. We are conditioned to numb hurtful situations either through drugs, medications or any other addiction. The truth is that for as long as you ignore the root cause of the hurt, the wound will be there. If for so long you have been putting a band-aid on a big wound, this blog post may be for you. If you constantly find yourself recreating the same situation over and over again, this blog post may be for you. It is precisely for these reasons that you must be thankful for hurtful situations.

I would like to make something clear. I am not implying to allow hurtful situations. I am not implying that you be always happy for the hurtful situations. However, when you can learn to see the value in whatever hurtful situation you are placed, you allow yourself to become a better person because of it and that’s when you will be able to be thankful for the hurtful situations.

Unfortunately we learn more from the painful situations than we do from the good experiences. As a friend of mine, Kay, always reminds me, it’s important to see the lesson. The reason why it is important to be thankful for hurtful situations is because there are lessons to learn. One of the biggest lessons being that most likely there are issues within you that are still unresolved.

It is important to realize not just with our mind but with our heart as well that we are all meant for abundance, healthy relationships, genuine love and all that our heart desires but unless we are willing to do the inner work that it takes, we will continue recreating the same experiences over and over again.

It is a must to recognize patterns in your life. These patterns are gifts from the universe so that we can know that there are things that we need to work on. Once again, unless we are willing to do the work that it takes, we will continue experiencing the same patterns over and over again.

Most of the time we allow hurtful situations to question our self-worth when what we need to question is not our value but our own self-esteem. Remember, the situations and relationships that we allow in our life are in direct proportion to the way we view and feel about ourselves. In other words, we allow things that fit how we feel and view ourselves, as hard as that may be to believe. This took me a long time to fully understand. It is a must to remember that things can only have an effect on us if we allow it. Other people’s reactions and perceptions of us are not our problem, it is a reflection of who they are. However, the moment you allow their reaction to become your problem, that is a reflection of how you see yourself.

One of the hardest things to realize is that the things that happen in our life many times are our own mirror. For your well-being, no matter how hard the inner work may be, it is a must to assess your own role in attracting the kinds of situations and people that you attract and assess how you see and view yourself. This is just one of the many things that hurtful situations can provide to us- the opportunity for greater growth. Don’t deny yourself of the opportunity of greater growth just because the pain seems so much to handle.

I love the story of how pearls are made because, believe it or not, pearls come from something that irritated the oyster. The oyster must remain open if it is to live but in the process, it is vulnerable to things that may hurt it or irritate it like a grain of sand. In order for the oyster not to allow that grain of sand to irritate it, it covers it with layers of nacre, which then forms the pearl. That’s exactly what can happen in our life- we can create pearls from the very things that hurt us.

I would like to encourage you in today’s post to make pearls out of your hurtful situations. Don’t let it make you bitter, resentful nor hateful. All these emotions are just poison for you. You are worth much more than that! What others do, let it be a lesson for you. Make it into a pearl and learn to be grateful for that hurtful situation.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.
You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.
Also, should you want a healthy way of dealing with the everyday things that we tend to go through in life, you are more than welcome to contact me so that I can also show you how essential oils can help you and your family have a healthier life. You are more than welcome to visit my store at http://my.doterra.com/AuraEMartinez. I will soon be having online courses on different topics in regards to essential oils.

What Are Your Thoughts and Feelings In the Morning and at Night?

Thoughts and feelings are very important to keep in mind when it comes to your well-being because thoughts become beliefs and your beliefs can become actions and a way of life. Your way of life influences greatly your well-being since it does create a domino effect on everything. Your feelings affect the choices that you make in everything whether that is food, relationship, etc.

One thing that I would like to encourage you to think about and analyze is what are your thoughts and feelings in the morning and at night. Why? Because what you last think about or feel before you go to sleep you will most likely think of and feel in the morning and the morning sets the tone for the day. You don’t want to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. You want and need to wake up on the right side of the bed and who determines that right side? You do!

It can be easy to focus on the things that go wrong. Trust me, I know. It can be easy to focus on the things that we yet don’t have. Trust me, I know. It’s easy to have the thought that others are lucky except for us. That thought is harmful to you in so many ways. It can be easy to be impatient to have and be the things we want to have and be. Trust me on this one that I know the feeling. However, all these things will contribute to you thinking the wrong things, feeling the wrong things which can spill over to the next day if your thoughts and feelings are not changed.

I would like to clarify that it is perfectly normal to feel frustrated, mad and disappointed every once in a while. You’re only human. It’s when these feelings are constant that it becomes a real problem because it interferes with your own happiness and well-being. As my mentor Kay Zulu has suggested, when you feel a certain way, move up to the next feeling above that. For instance, if you’re sad, move on to anger because anger is a higher vibration than sadness. Then from anger to being neutral, etc. You can’t jump from being sad to happy, we can’t necessarily do that quickly.

Another thing that I would recommend is that at night you write down and remind yourself all the things that you have to be grateful for. Our mind tends to just wander around and so it’s important to help it focus on the things that we want it to focus on. We do that by redirecting our thoughts at night to the things that we have to be grateful for. This, then, will help you fall asleep in peace and when you wake up, you can feel differently in comparison to feeling sad or angry.

Remind yourself that everything passes so whatever you’re going through, that too shall pass. It’s easy to think that whatever we are going through has no end but it will have an end. Remind yourself of that and do your best to get all the lessons you are meant to learn from what you are currently experiencing. This leads to growth and growth is very much a part of well-being.

I would like to encourage you to be mindful of your thoughts and feelings at night and in the morning. The night time is a time when your body is relaxing and rejuvenating and you need it to rejuvenate in good thoughts and feelings so you can vibrate in high energy. What you last thought of and felt when you went to sleep you will most likely wake up with that same thought and feeling. The morning time sets the tone for the day. If you want a great day, then start your morning right in every regards. Paying mind to your thoughts and feelings at night and in the morning will help you increase in well-being.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

How to Fill the Inner Void

Today I would like to write about something that seems to be real for some and this kind of struggle is very real. The struggle that I am referring to is the one of an inner void.

Since well-being starts with you, this means that it starts with being whole. Being whole by default means that there is no void. Now, one thing that I would like to clarify is that it is perfectly normal to have certain needs that are just innate because we are human beings. These needs that I am referring to are- the need to feel needed, to be accepted, to be loved and the need for companionship. These needs are built within us because as human beings we are emotional and social beings. So having these needs does not mean that you are not whole.

However, when these needs are heightened to the point where you are willing to compromise your well-being to have these needs met, this is when there is a void that needs to be filled. I think many confuse having needs with having a void when there is a fine line between the two and that line is when those needs become so strong to the point that you are willing to compromise your well-being.

With all this said, how can one fill an inner void? Perhaps for some, they may not like what I’m about to write because maybe some are searching for immediate results to what they are currently feeling but I can guarantee you that greater satisfaction comes from going to the root of things. So the first place to start is by recognizing your inner value. It is important that you see and cherish your own inner value because when you see how valuable you are as a person, you will expect others to treat you like so. You start seeing your value by recognizing the attributes that you possess that make you an amazing person. It doesn’t matter if others have those same attributes, believe and know that there is something unique about you that no one else has.

Think about the things that bring you joy and start doing those things often. The more things you do that you enjoy, the better you will feel about yourself because you are nurturing your true essence which is your soul. This is one part of us that some tend to neglect and doing so can be detrimental overtime. Give yourself the time to feed your soul with things that makes it happy.

Surround yourself by people who appreciate you for who you are. Choose healthy relationships. Whether we realize it or not, the people that we surround ourselves by do have an influence on our self-concept and self-esteem. Choose people who have a healthy self-esteem, who love themselves, who are happy with their life and who are willing to do the inner work. I will discuss on another blog why it is important to choose people who are willing to do the inner work.

The last thing I will recommend that you do is to take the time to get to know who you are. There is tremendous power in knowing who you really are. When you have a deep understanding of who you are, you know what your needs are in every area of your life. When you have a deep understanding of who you are, you are more accepting of who you are and the choices that you make regardless of whether others are accepting of you or not. This understanding allows you to be in alignment which leads to greater well-being.

I am not going to lie to you that filling a void takes effort but that is effort that is worth it. If you want to fill that void completely and feel great on a consistent basis, you have to have that deep understanding and appreciate of yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation in which everything is built upon. When you feel void, you are not going to have much to offer to others. You will be coming from a place of neediness and anxiety and others will sense that because that is what you will be emanating.

I would like to encourage you to start looking at the traits that make you an amazing person. Start doing the things that make you very happy. Surround yourself by people who have a healthy self-esteem and who love their life. Have a great relationship with yourself. The moment you start filling yourself up, you won’t be heightening the natural needs that is only normal to have.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Keep That Sparkle In Your Eyes

Life is meant for you to live it feeling good everyday. You are meant to be loved and feel loved. You are meant to give love. You are meant to share who you are with no shame or regret. You are meant to dream big with no shame nor limitation. However, there are moments in life where we may feel discouraged, full of regret because something didn’t come out the way we wanted, or we may feel rejected by something or someone. Life sometimes throws things in the way that may distract us, etc. When we allow these things to get in the way, this may limit us and rob us from having that sparkle in our eyes.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when something doesn’t come out the way you wanted it to be. Things happen the way they do because they are blessings in disguise. You must remember to thank God, the universe, life or whatever it is that you believe in that things happen the way they do. You may not understand why at the moment but you will in the future.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when someone “rejected” you. I had a conversation the other day about rejections and how when someone doesn’t feel something for you, even if you care about them so much, even if you are a good person, God or whatever it is that you believe in didn’t place that seed in them for your own good. They don’t feel for you the same way that you feel towards them because it wasn’t planted in them and only the higher being knows why and trust that in the end, it is YOU who is the winner. You are NOT the loser. You can’t imagine how many times I have been so grateful years later that something didn’t work out with the guy because in the end, they were so wrong for me in many ways and I thanked God that the guy saw it was wrong.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when you lose a loved one. This is a tough one and I truly understand this. Death, unfortunately, is a part of life but that doesn’t mean that the tie that you have with that person is totally lost. That person is still with you spiritually and can guide you in ways that they were not able to when they were alive. It is a must to remember that the best way to honor a lost loved one is by being the best version of yourself.

Keep that sparkle in your eyes even when there may be negativity around you. There are things you are learning that you may not even realize. There was a wonderful story I heard about three pots of boiling water. One had a carrot, the second had an egg and the third had tea. The carrot is hard and when placed in the boiling water, it gets soft and weak. The egg which is soft inside, when placed in the boiling water it gets hard inside. The tea which is just leaves inside, when placed in water it turns into an aromatic, flavorful drink. Which of the three do you want to be? When placed in situations of adversity, become like the tea, aromatic and flavorful as a result of it.

For your well-being, it is a must to keep that sparkle in your eyes. It is easy to become cynical or doubtful and hard on the inside but it doesn’t help you grow as a person. Don’t allow other people’s issues to become your issues. Don’t allow situations to turn you into someone you are not. Don’t allow “rejections” to become a reflection of who you are. None of these things have anything to do with you.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Interesting Concept of “Breadcrumbing”

I have been hearing and reading lately about the concept of breadcrumbing. For those who don’t know this concept, what this basically means is the act of a person just texting you without any commitment, no phone calls and not seeing each other in person just to keep you hanging. Now, this refers more to dating but when I think about this concept, I would dare to say this is also seen in other relationships that are not only romantic. We are starting to see this concept spill over to friendships as well. Because relationships are at the core of one’s well-being, I will be discussing how detrimental this is when you allow this into your life.

Relationships are necessary for our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Without healthy relationships- let me put some emphasis on “healthy” because this is key- you will literally die while living in the sense that it is love that nurtures us. Healthy love. Once again, the key word is “healthy”.

So what does a healthy relationship look like? Healthy relationships are corresponded, meaning that you both want each other in your life, you both want each other’s company, you both reciprocate affection and effort. Let me repeat, you both reciprocate effort. What I mean with “effort” is that you both take the time to see each other, hang out, get to know each other and hear from each other. When I write “relationships”, I am not referring just to romantic relationships, I include ALL relationships- family and friends as well.

How does a healthy relationship feel like? It feels peaceful, joyous, happy, exciting, comfortable and safe. With “safe” I mean that you feel you can be yourself with the person. If you ever feel like you need to walk on egg shells, you have to hide a certain side of you, uncomfortable or you are wondering whether the other person feels the same way as you, that is not healthy. It’s not healthy because anything that makes you wonder or feel like you can’t be yourself creates doubt within you. Those who belong in your life will NOT make you feel doubtful about yourself.

When you allow someone in your life who only wants to text you, not see you when they can, shows no effort to make you a part of their life, that can hurt your self-concept. It can make you feel unappreciated and unloved because all they are offering you are breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs are not healthy at all. They are void of nutrition, apart from the fact that they are not filling. So when someone is only texting you and not taking the time to see you and get to know you, you are missing nutrients such as love, appreciation, acceptance, feeling and being included in their life. All these are nutrients that we need in order to feel and be good. Remember that as human beings we have a need to be needed and loved.

You do NOT deserve breadcrumbs! You deserve and NEED the full meal with the appetizers, the entree, the dessert and all that comes with a healthy, fulfilling meal! Remember that! Breadcrumbs are NEVER satisfying. When all you are accepting are breadcrumbs, you seriously need to question how you feel about yourself. You need to question what do you want out of that other person. You need to ask yourself what do you need. If a “friend” is only offering breadcrumbs, consider that an acquaintance, not a friend. Friendships are like a healthy meal- they are full and satisfying. If you don’t feel that way, it’s time to do some clean up when it comes to your social well-being. If a date is doing that with you, get rid of that s&%$ and move on! What that person is offering you has nothing to do with your value and all to do with what that person can offer which is NOTHING.

Breadcrumbing….it’s important to understand this concept so that you can know when someone is doing this to you. This is something to avoid accepting if you truly want great well-being. Remember, healthy meals are filling. Breadcrumbs….they are not filling at all!

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

What to Do When There Is No Closure

Closure is important for many reasons and we all need it when something has come to an end. Take for instance when it’s our time to go. The purpose of funerals is to provide some sense of closure by coming to the realization that the person is physically no longer on this earth however painful it may be. This same concept applies to everything in life and this indeed affects your well-being.

When something has come to an end, whatever that may be, closure is a must. It is a must to have that final moment or words that will help you mentally and emotionally come to terms with what has occurred. Whether that is a breakup of a marriage,  boyfriend/girlfriend, friendship, job loss, etc. it is that closure that eventually helps you move on. Perhaps at the moment you may not be happy with the closure, even if one was provided to you, but eventually you will see the blessing that it was.

There are moments though where there is no closure and that for some can be painful. It can be painful when someone breaks up with you with no concrete explanation. It can be painful when anything abruptly ends without any warning or reason. What must one do then? The answer is you have to provide yourself with your own closure.

Closure helps one move on. Unfortunately not everyone will have either the maturity or the strength to provide you with a decent closure that you need. It is in these cases when it is a must for you to provide your own closure. How so? At first it is only normal to play and replay everything that happened in order to figure out what went wrong or what you could have done differently. I can tell you for personal experience that although it may help in some cases, in these kinds of cases where the other person didn’t provide any warning, it’s not even worth your energy trying to analyze what went wrong.

As human beings we are flawed by nature. Each and every one of us carries a luggage. Some luggage may be very heavy, others are light. It is nice if someone is carrying a light backpack, wouldn’t that be nice?! The luggage/backpack that I am referring to is issues, we all have them. The key is to not have such huge issues that terribly interferes with our well-being and to always be willing to work on them. With this in mind, remember that 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. I will repeat this, 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. People respond, live and behave according to what they are thinking and how they view themselves. What others have to say about you, what they do and how they respond to certain things is none of your business.

With this said, there will be those who will behave and react in ways that we will never comprehend. As long as you know you have been honest, loving, caring, and all the positive things with the other person, if for whatever reason the other person behaves in a way that makes you feel hurt, know that those who don’t belong in your life have to leave your life. Anyone who doesn’t value you as a person, value your friendship, value what you have to offer, YOU ARE SO LUCKY. Let me repeat, you are so lucky! It is a must for your well-being to stop allowing the lack of closure from others, their lack of vision, for lack of a better word to mean that they can’t see your value, and their behavior to hurt you to such a degree that a piece of you gets chipped.

Bless anyone who leaves your life, it’s your blessing not a curse! Feel grateful for anyone who does you wrong, they taught you a lesson and you know who they are and where they belong which is out of your life! Feel lucky for anyone who can’t see your value, they are already telling you they are not meant to be of any service in your life! Provide your own closure by knowing that you are the winner in any “misfortune”. Provide your own closure by knowing that you did good to the other person so your karma is good. Provide your own closure by knowing your value. It is a must for your well-being.

Closure is an essential part to one’s well-being because it confirms to us that something has ended. However, when closure is not provided to you or when the closure isn’t satisfying to you, it is a must that you provide yourself with your own closure by knowing your value, by knowing that you are ALWAYS the winner whenever anyone lets you go or whenever any door closes. Thank God for those who let you go and for those closed doors, they are leaving space for the right people and things to come your way.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Greatest Part of Endings

The ending is the beginning of something bigger and better. The ending is the closure of something that no longer serves you. There are things that come into your life just to serve a purpose. This includes opportunities and people. Sometimes we have the tendency to extend the life of something that no longer has a life. What I mean with this is that sometimes there are things and people that we hold on to that we need to let go because its purpose was already served. There are people and opportunities that are meant to be for a lifetime but trust that you will know the difference.

And what is that difference? When it comes to people, even during turbulent moments, you still are able to endure. No relationship is perfect and in every relationship there will be differences. It is not the turbulent moments nor the differences that define the quality of the relationships nor how long it will last- it is how those turbulent moments and differences are handled that marks the difference.

When it comes to opportunities, you will feel and it will be evident that its expiration date is arriving soon. Somehow things don’t flow or go right, there is one problem after another or somehow that opportunity may seem small for what you want or are yet to be.

Being able to recognize these things are so crucial to your well-being because this will help you avoid unnecessary suffering. When you are able to recognize whether someone is a person for a lifetime (and with this I also include friendships, not just romantic relationships) and when you’re able to recognize whether an opportunity is a lifetime one, suddenly the ending won’t feel like a loss, rather it will feel like a gain because in essence it is a gain. It is a gain because you’re moving forward. It is a gain because you’re growing. It is a gain because those things are moving out of the way to make way for other things that do belong in your life.

It is important for your well-being to know and remember that not everything that comes into your life are meant to be a lifetime and that’s ok. Remembering and knowing this will help alleviate some unnecessary sadness and suffering that can hinder you from seeing and receiving the goodness that are yet to come.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.