Not Loving Yourself Is Expensive

Since we are in the month of love, I would like to write about how expensive it is to not love yourself.

I can tell you from personal experience that it has cost me a lot to not love myself in the past. It has cost me my peace, my self-esteem, my value, among other things. What many of us sometimes fail to realize is that loving ourselves is crucial to that foundation of well-being.

Not loving yourself costs you your peace in the sense that when you don’t love yourself, you will most likely settle for situations that rob you of your peace. You will choose things that are not in alignment with who you truly are. You will choose things, situations and people that only feed the negative feelings you may have about yourself and your life.

Not loving yourself makes you blind as to your own blind spots. It doesn’t allow you to see the role that you are playing in your own life and what is contributing to the negative things in your life. It can make you prone to becoming a victim to situations that you perhaps create for yourself. It doesn’t allow you to look within for self-empowerment.

Not loving yourself hurts and eats away your self-esteem. It makes you choose relationships that are far below from what you deserve. It makes you remain in situations that you need to leave and tolerate things that one must never tolerate. It also makes you attract things that are in the same vibrational energy as you are in- meaning that if you don’t feel highly about yourself, you will attract others that feel the same way. You can always tell when this is the case based on how a person treats you, speaks to you, and makes you feel.

Not loving yourself diminishes your value. What adds value to you is you. You are the one who determines your worth and how others will treat you. You do play a role in how others will perceive you. When you don’t love yourself, this is when you mistakenly believe that you are not worthy of genuine love, of kindness and respect. Because you can’t see your own value, you hinder others from seeing your value as well.

Not loving yourself can lead to feelings of depression, unworthiness, anxiety, among other things. Life is not about this. You were designed to feel loved, to be loved, to feel happiness, to live in your knowing of your value and to grow into a healthy, fulfilled individual. However, none of this can be accomplished without loving yourself.

As you can read, not loving yourself is very expensive and not worth paying that big of a price. Anything that contributes to you not loving yourself, please get rid of it. Anything that doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated and accepted are not worth your time nor energy. Start placing more value in yourself. Start seeing your beauty. Start seeing what makes you unique and wonderful and you will be at the start of loving yourself and if you do already, you will be loving yourself even more.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

What Does Loving Someone Else Mean?

Ahhh love. It’s such a powerful word because of all that it implies. It’s also a word/feeling that is so often misunderstood since we all have our own definition of what love is. However, today’s post is not about defining the word but rather about writing what does loving someone else mean.

What does loving someone else have to do with your own well-being? Everything! Believe it or not, your well-being has so much to do with how you love someone else. So what does it mean to love someone else? Loving someone else, first and foremost, entails you love yourself FIRST. It means that you care about yourself FIRST. Believe it or not, loving someone else means you first have to be selfish.

Please allow me to elaborate on this. A healthy dose of selfishness is so crucial to loving someone else. When all you do is give, give and give without filling yourself up first, you will eventually be empty inside. When you are empty inside, you have nothing else to give. When you have nothing else to give, all you are going to want is to receive. Wanting only to receive makes you unappealing energetically, making others not want to be around you.

Giving to others is beautiful but it is a must to remember that with the same intensity that you give to others, you must also give to yourself that same way. When you do, that’s when you will feel full. That’s when you don’t mind giving to others. That’s when you will be able to come from a place of sincere and genuine happiness. It is when you come from a place of genuine happiness when you can give pure love to others.

Loving someone means you do you FIRST. You first take care of your needs so that you can take care of other people’s need next. It means you put your well-being first, making sure that you are happy, making sure you are more than full so that you can share with others what you have.

Loving someone else means you are able to connect with yourself first. Before you can connect with someone else and even to be able to connect with someone else, the connection first must reside within you. When you are not connected with who you are, what you are all about, how you function, what works for you and what doesn’t work for you, there is no way you are able to connect with someone else. There is just no way. This is because when you are not connected with yourself, you have no idea of your needs and wants so you are unable to satisfy yourself first. This is when you may fall in the trap of wanting someone else to fulfill your needs and when others fail to do so, you may try extra hard to get that person to fulfill this need. In this case, it becomes a negative cycle that only feeds any negative feelings you may have.

As you can read, loving someone else does not mean that you are self-sacrificing, extremely loving, extreme giving to the point of you not having much left for yourself or anything that hurts your overall well-being. Loving someone else first means you love you, you love you despite anything and everything. It means you put yourself first because as you do, you take care of your needs which will enable you to be able to take care of other people’s needs. Love first comes from you. It comes from you taking care of you, loving you and respecting you. When you do this, you will be able to offer others a healthy kind of love which is very much needed in today’s world.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

You Are the Fashion!

I am impressed to see what is in fashion when it comes to image. It seems as if we are taught to accept things that are not a part of us. I was impressed to learn that freckles are now in fashion, so much so that people are willing to paint freckles on themselves. I have freckles on my face, not a lot, but some that are noticeable and I remember that as a young girl, I wasn’t happy about my freckles. Now I love them but back then no.

In today’s post, I would like to encourage you for your well-being to embrace the fact that you are the fashion. The way that you are created is exactly the way you are supposed to be and that no one, not even someone with so much influence, has the right to dictate to you what is hot and what is not. Remember that YOU are HOT just the way you are. It’s not the big butt, the small butt, the tone butt, the straight hair, the curly hair, the long hair, the short hair, the one with freckles, none of this is in fashion. Whatever you are, however way you are, YOU ARE IN FASHION.

Why drill this in your mind? Because it is important to have self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is key to great well-being. It is a must to feel great just the way you are. It is important to see how sexy you are no matter how you look. It is important to know your value as a person. It is important to know that you are beautiful just the way you are.

It is also important to ignore the outside messages when it comes to the way you look. Society may say that because your hair is a certain way, because your body looks a certain way, you are not acceptable or good enough. You may be in an environment where people don’t look like you or act like you so you feel like an odd ball. All this can cause havoc on your self-esteem and self-concept that can affect your well-being. Please know that you are the way you are, you have the tastes that you have, you look the way you do for a beautiful reason and purpose. You are wonderful just the way you are. You are handsome/gorgeous just the way you are. You don’t need to be a certain height, a certain weight, a certain nothing to be great. You are ENOUGH just the way you are!

Please remember that YOU ARE THE FASHION. YOU ARE IN FASHION and will ALWAYS be in fashion. It’s important to remember your value and not listen to outside voices nor other people’s opinion of what is right and what is not. Your well-being depends on this.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How Your Definition of Beauty Ties In With Your Well-being

One may not think that the definition of beauty is very much tied to one’s well-being since when one thinks of well-being/wellness, it is inevitable to think about nutrition and working out. However, this one definition can influence your well-being either for better or for worse. If your definition of beauty is hurting you rather than helping you, then it’s time for you to change your concept of beauty.

Our self-concept and self-esteem are very much tied to the way we feel and think about ourselves physically. It is because of this that your definition of beauty can either hurt you or help you. But first, let’s discuss what being beautiful means.

Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors and thank God for this. It is these differences that make life so interesting. It is these differences that make us all fit with someone or some group. The different spices that we have in our pantry are what keep our food delicious with unique flavors. This is the same thing when it comes to people.

I am also aware that many of us want what we don’t have. Those who have curly hair wish they had straight hair and vice versa. Those who may be short wish they were a bit taller, well that’s not my case because I love my height. What I may lack in height I have in abundance in other things. This is exactly how you have to view whatever it is that you don’t have. Whatever it is that you “lack”, you have in abundance in other ways, whether that be intelligence, charisma, etc.

So with this said, what is your definition of beauty? If your definition of beauty consists of things that you don’t have or lack, then I encourage you to reconsider your definition of beauty because if this continues on, this can greatly affect the way you see yourself. Trust, know and learn to see several things about you that are beautiful. Everyone has their own beauty and this, in and of itself, is beautiful! Beauty doesn’t consist of having straight, long hair, or clear skin or whatever the color of your skin.

One thing I can’t leave out of this post is never, EVER allow anyone to define for you what is beautiful. Never EVER allow anyone to define you. The moment you allow this to happen, you allow that person to take control of the way you view and feel about yourself and that is a big no no.

The definition of beauty….is one to look into if you notice that you don’t find yourself pretty enough or handsome enough or good enough. You are MORE than pretty enough, MORE than handsome enough, MORE than good enough. If you don’t think this way, it’s time for you to check what your definition of beauty is.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Importance of Saying “No”

You probably wouldn’t think that this has much to do with your well-being, however, “no” should be a part of your vocabulary in order to increase your well-being and this is what I will be discussing in this week’s post.

There is a Spanish saying that goes “Quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta” which means that if you try to get your arms around too much, you won’t be able to squeeze. In other words, if you try to do so much, you will get none done. There is only so much that anyone can do and the more you want, not only do you have to take breaks and stop for a moment, you have to say “no” to some things that can come your way.

Stress should be reserve for real emergencies- when a family member is ill, when you are ill, when there is an accident, etc.- not for every day stuff of life. Stressing because you are taking up on so much will only lead to illness and to frustration. It will take you out of alignment and won’t help you think straight.

I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again, it’s great to have goals, it’s great to want so much out of life. However, you don’t ever want to take yourself to the point where you break down. That does no good to anyone.

Saying “no” is about setting priorities. In order to achieve much, you need to set priorities first and then once those tasks are completed, move on to the next task. It’s not that certain things are not important to you, it’s just that in order for you to be able to complete that other project successfully, you first must complete the one you have at hand. Also, you must know what would make the most difference now and work on that first. This is another way to get more done- knowing what would make the most difference in your life if that task was completed.

Saying “no” is about setting your own boundaries. You set boundaries for yourself and for others. Your well-being must be a priority, first and foremost, and so when you say “no” to certain things, you are avoiding getting yourself into things that at the end will just drive you mentally crazy because it’s too much to do and physically exhausted because having so much to do does wear the body down.

Make saying “no” a part of your vocabulary. This is about you taking care of yourself, not taking on too much stuff than you can possibly handle at the moment and setting boundaries. Others may have their opinions in regards to your “no” and that’s ok. At the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters most and you never want to take yourself to the point of a breakdown.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You a Liability to Yourself?

Many times we don’t have the life that we want, we don’t feel as great as we are capable of feeling and we don’t reach our fullest potential not because we are not deserving of all the things that we want but because we are our own liability.

The meaning of liability is something that can cause a disadvantage. So with this said, when you are your own liability, you put yourself in a disadvantage in the sense that you yourself cause your own misfortunes, your own failures, your disappointments, etc.

You are probably wondering “how so?”. Well, there are many ways to be your own liability. You can do this through your own beliefs. If you deep down inside don’t believe you are worthy, don’t think you are enough, don’t think that you are capable, these beliefs hinder you of the very thing that you want. This is something to be dealt with ASAP since not dealing with one’s own beliefs can keep recreating what it is that you don’t want.

You do this through your thoughts, whether these are thoughts about yourself or thoughts about your life. This can kind of be related to your beliefs but with thoughts, think about what it is that you think on a daily basis. Your thoughts do influence your emotions.

You can be your own liability by the things that you allow in your life. What kind of messages are you allowing in? What kind of relationships are you allowing in your life? What kind of environments are you choosing to be a part of? What kind of labels are you allowing? You can truly become what you allow.

What kind of shape are you emotionally? We are driven by our emotions. We make decisions based on our emotions. When emotionally we are not right, we won’t have the capacity to make decisions with clarity. When emotionally we are not right, we open the doors to bad things to come into our life.

When you come to the realization that you are your own liability, it is a must to get help. Sometimes it is hard to do this on our own and that is when it is a must to reach out to someone who can help. This is for your own good as well as the good of your own well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.