The Things That Held You Back

Some people may look back and realize that there were several things that held them back. Perhaps those things were the people around them, perhaps their environment, their childhood, their limiting beliefs, etc. and for some, the very thought of these things holding them back keeps holding them back.

The one thing you can never recuperate is time. Once time is gone, it’s gone. However, you still have more time ahead of you. The longer you keep looking back at the things that held you back, the more held back you will be. The things that once held you back don’t need to continue holding you back.

If you are held back for whatever reason, I want you to seriously consider the fact that perhaps it is you who is holding you back. Why do I dare you to consider this? Because the reality is that you can NOT control what others do. You can NOT control how others think. NO ONE has power over you. NO ONE can define you. NO ONE, unless you grant them permission, can do anything in your life.

I want to briefly discuss about childhood and this is one that is difficult to talk about since I know for some there were probably serious childhood issues. Once you become an adult, YOU have the choice as to whether or not you are going to continue to allow what happened to you to affect you. If you realize that the issues are too deep that you can’t handle them alone, then go seek a therapist or a psychologist. Get the help you need but don’t continue to allow your past to affect you in negative ways.

I want to briefly discuss limiting beliefs. It is a must to find the source of the limiting beliefs. You may be surprised to learn that the limiting belief you may have is someone else’s beliefs and you just internalized it as your own belief. It is important to challenge your beliefs if you are to grow into the person that you are meant to be.

I want to briefly discuss your environment. You don’t have to be your environment. If your environment isn’t congruent with the person that you are, that doesn’t mean that who you really are is wrong. Just like not all trees can grow in the same environment, we all can’t grow in the same environment. Know that you are much more than your environment if your environment is not a reflection of you. Also know that just because you are not like your environment, that doesn’t make you wrong. That just means that you are you and that’s it. There is nothing wrong with that.

The last thing I want to briefly discuss is people. What people think or say about you is none of your business. Your business is YOU and that’s it. Once again, you can’t control what other people do. You can’t control how other people think. People can only hold you back if you allow them to hold you back. Also people’s complexes and criticisms are non of your business. What other people decide to do with their life you can not control. The only person you can control is yourself so start to control yourself so that you can have the life that you want.

It is a must to control your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, your actions and what you allow in your life. Remember that nothing needs to hold you back unless you ALLOW it to hold you back. This is the key word- allow. Remember that you are the only one who can allow things to hold you back.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Well-being Requires Honesty

One may not think that honesty has anything to do with one’s well-being but it does. The honesty that I am writing about is not the honesty that comes from others…..it is the honesty that comes from your own self.

Honesty is not always an easy thing. Honesty requires a certain level of courage and strength that sometimes it’s hard to have, especially during times of vulnerability. Sometimes for our mental and emotional sanity it may seem better to lie to ourselves but I can guarantee you that this will only bite you in your behind sooner than later. No matter how hard the truth may be, how hard it is to admit certain things, it is to your own benefit to be honest with yourself.

What does it take to be honest with yourself? It takes first and foremost self-love. There will be times where you may strongly want or desire something that either isn’t for you or that plain “rejected” you and this may crush your self-esteem and question your self-worth. It is during these times when your self-love will be tested. No matter what it is that you want or love, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else. I will repeat, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else!

“Well, what does it take to have that self-love?” you may wonder. It takes being able to see your own value even when others don’t see it. It is YOU who determine your value. No material object, no person, no circumstance, no man or woman, absolutely nothing else determine your value but you. If you can’t see your own value, it is hard to be able to love yourself.

You seeing your worth and your self-love will give you the strength to be honest with yourself at all times. When you can learn to be honest with yourself, you will not accept situations or people who compromise in any way your well-being. For instance, and I can’t think of a better example than this, when you really love someone or like them but you know they don’t feel the same, it doesn’t matter what you feel for them, if they don’t feel the same for you, you MUST accept that and take your self-love, your heart, your valuables (valuables meaning what you have to offer mentally, emotionally and spiritually and your body) and go find someone who is crazy about you just as you are crazy about them. You can’t afford to accept breadcrumbs from no one. You can’t afford to be an option for someone. Honesty requires you face the truth even if the truth sucks. Honesty requires you to let go even when it hurts to let go.

When you fail to be honest with yourself, the truth somehow will hit you on the face. You can’t sustain for long something that was never yours or something that was a lie from the beginning. In the long run, that lie will hurt more than you facing the truth right from the beginning.

A life of joy and sustained happiness require that there be honesty in every area of your life first and foremost from yourself and then from others. When you fail to be honest with yourself, you tend to accept things that are not up to par with what you need and deserve.

You deserve to be truly happy. You deserve to know what you have in your life. You deserve to know that what you have is real in your life. You deserve genuine love from yourself and from others. You deserve to have a life where you love your reality in every way. This is what you deserve but in order to have that, you must be honesty with yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How Your Definition of Beauty Ties In With Your Well-being

One may not think that the definition of beauty is very much tied to one’s well-being since when one thinks of well-being/wellness, it is inevitable to think about nutrition and working out. However, this one definition can influence your well-being either for better or for worse. If your definition of beauty is hurting you rather than helping you, then it’s time for you to change your concept of beauty.

Our self-concept and self-esteem are very much tied to the way we feel and think about ourselves physically. It is because of this that your definition of beauty can either hurt you or help you. But first, let’s discuss what being beautiful means.

Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors and thank God for this. It is these differences that make life so interesting. It is these differences that make us all fit with someone or some group. The different spices that we have in our pantry are what keep our food delicious with unique flavors. This is the same thing when it comes to people.

I am also aware that many of us want what we don’t have. Those who have curly hair wish they had straight hair and vice versa. Those who may be short wish they were a bit taller, well that’s not my case because I love my height. What I may lack in height I have in abundance in other things. This is exactly how you have to view whatever it is that you don’t have. Whatever it is that you “lack”, you have in abundance in other ways, whether that be intelligence, charisma, etc.

So with this said, what is your definition of beauty? If your definition of beauty consists of things that you don’t have or lack, then I encourage you to reconsider your definition of beauty because if this continues on, this can greatly affect the way you see yourself. Trust, know and learn to see several things about you that are beautiful. Everyone has their own beauty and this, in and of itself, is beautiful! Beauty doesn’t consist of having straight, long hair, or clear skin or whatever the color of your skin.

One thing I can’t leave out of this post is never, EVER allow anyone to define for you what is beautiful. Never EVER allow anyone to define you. The moment you allow this to happen, you allow that person to take control of the way you view and feel about yourself and that is a big no no.

The definition of beauty….is one to look into if you notice that you don’t find yourself pretty enough or handsome enough or good enough. You are MORE than pretty enough, MORE than handsome enough, MORE than good enough. If you don’t think this way, it’s time for you to check what your definition of beauty is.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Importance of Saying “No”

You probably wouldn’t think that this has much to do with your well-being, however, “no” should be a part of your vocabulary in order to increase your well-being and this is what I will be discussing in this week’s post.

There is a Spanish saying that goes “Quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta” which means that if you try to get your arms around too much, you won’t be able to squeeze. In other words, if you try to do so much, you will get none done. There is only so much that anyone can do and the more you want, not only do you have to take breaks and stop for a moment, you have to say “no” to some things that can come your way.

Stress should be reserve for real emergencies- when a family member is ill, when you are ill, when there is an accident, etc.- not for every day stuff of life. Stressing because you are taking up on so much will only lead to illness and to frustration. It will take you out of alignment and won’t help you think straight.

I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again, it’s great to have goals, it’s great to want so much out of life. However, you don’t ever want to take yourself to the point where you break down. That does no good to anyone.

Saying “no” is about setting priorities. In order to achieve much, you need to set priorities first and then once those tasks are completed, move on to the next task. It’s not that certain things are not important to you, it’s just that in order for you to be able to complete that other project successfully, you first must complete the one you have at hand. Also, you must know what would make the most difference now and work on that first. This is another way to get more done- knowing what would make the most difference in your life if that task was completed.

Saying “no” is about setting your own boundaries. You set boundaries for yourself and for others. Your well-being must be a priority, first and foremost, and so when you say “no” to certain things, you are avoiding getting yourself into things that at the end will just drive you mentally crazy because it’s too much to do and physically exhausted because having so much to do does wear the body down.

Make saying “no” a part of your vocabulary. This is about you taking care of yourself, not taking on too much stuff than you can possibly handle at the moment and setting boundaries. Others may have their opinions in regards to your “no” and that’s ok. At the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters most and you never want to take yourself to the point of a breakdown.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You a Liability to Yourself?

Many times we don’t have the life that we want, we don’t feel as great as we are capable of feeling and we don’t reach our fullest potential not because we are not deserving of all the things that we want but because we are our own liability.

The meaning of liability is something that can cause a disadvantage. So with this said, when you are your own liability, you put yourself in a disadvantage in the sense that you yourself cause your own misfortunes, your own failures, your disappointments, etc.

You are probably wondering “how so?”. Well, there are many ways to be your own liability. You can do this through your own beliefs. If you deep down inside don’t believe you are worthy, don’t think you are enough, don’t think that you are capable, these beliefs hinder you of the very thing that you want. This is something to be dealt with ASAP since not dealing with one’s own beliefs can keep recreating what it is that you don’t want.

You do this through your thoughts, whether these are thoughts about yourself or thoughts about your life. This can kind of be related to your beliefs but with thoughts, think about what it is that you think on a daily basis. Your thoughts do influence your emotions.

You can be your own liability by the things that you allow in your life. What kind of messages are you allowing in? What kind of relationships are you allowing in your life? What kind of environments are you choosing to be a part of? What kind of labels are you allowing? You can truly become what you allow.

What kind of shape are you emotionally? We are driven by our emotions. We make decisions based on our emotions. When emotionally we are not right, we won’t have the capacity to make decisions with clarity. When emotionally we are not right, we open the doors to bad things to come into our life.

When you come to the realization that you are your own liability, it is a must to get help. Sometimes it is hard to do this on our own and that is when it is a must to reach out to someone who can help. This is for your own good as well as the good of your own well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

What Do You Think/Feel You Deserve?

Today I would like to write about deserving and what does it take to be deserving of anything. I’m going to start off by asking you, what do you think/feel you deserve? That’s right, this is this week’s question and I ask you to take a deep look within to know your answer.

The reason why it is important to know what you think and feel you deserve is because this has a strong correlation with your overall well-being. How so? Whatever you feel or think you deserve is what you will get. So if you think and feel that all you deserve is mistreatment from others, then guess what, that’s exactly what you will get. If instead you know, think and feel that you deserve love and respect, you will get just that. Your overall well-being whether you realize it or not, is a reflection of what you think and feel you deserve. When you know you deserve better, you don’t accept anything less. This is why the topic of deserving can not be left out when it comes to your well-being.

So with all this said, what does it take to be deserving of anything? It is your birthright to be loved, receive love, give love, be healthy, be happy, be wealthy, etc. So it is not a matter of whether there is something that you must be in order to be deserving but it does take you believing with your heart and mind that you are deserving of anything that you want. The most important element here is YOU. This whole act of deserving has nothing to do with your parents, with your friends, with what others think and all to do with how you think and feel about yourself. If you don’t feel deserving, it is important that you work on your self-concept and self-esteem. There is no way around it. This is necessary work for your overall well-being.

Deserving or not deserving….that may seem to be the question but that question is only in your head because you were and always will be deserving of the things that you want. It is a matter of what you think/feel you deserve. So with this, I encourage to start knowing with your mind and heart that you are deserving of all that you want and need.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

If You’re a Leech, You’re In Great Need of Yourself

What an odd title. It’s probably not a title that you expect to read when it comes to your well-being but this situation of which I’m going to write about may be a situation that either you may be going through because perhaps you are the leech or you know someone who is like a leech to you or you know someone who is going through this.

First I would like to explain what a leech is if you don’t already know. A leech is a segmented worm that sucks blood. As you can perhaps tell from this description, a leech is someone who basically sucks the life out of you since blood can be considered the life of the body. Usually to consider someone a leech, this person is one who drains the energy of others, they may be in great need of attention, affection or love from others. This person may not necessarily mean to be a “leech” and suck the life out of others but they do so perhaps unknowingly.

How can you know when you are being a leech? You will know if you are sincere enough with yourself and know that you need other people’s approval in order to feel loved. You are constantly looking for the person almost in a smothering way. You will also know because either others will tell you that you are draining them or they will want to be away from you. Please understand that it is nobody’s responsibility to give you the love that you need. That is YOUR responsibility. You are the one responsible for creating a life for yourself, for loving yourself, for caring about yourself and for making yourself happy. Giving this responsibility to others is not fair for others nor for yourself plus it is a burden for others.

What can being a leech show you? This can help provide you with some insight as to how you are neglecting yourself. Self neglect does lead one to want to latch on to others and get from others what they are not giving to  themselves. If you notice this about yourself, stop yourself for a moment and give yourself some alone time. Don’t be afraid of your alone time. Some alone time can be great since it is during this time that you can get to know yourself better. Try to see what your soul is trying to communicate to you. You will be amazed at the areas of your life and of yourself that you have been ignoring.

If you have been a leech and have been annoying, know that many have been in your shoes and you can reverse that. You reverse that with some self-care. There is no other love like the one that you can have for yourself.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.