Ahhhh selfishness. We were taught at a young age not to be selfish. It seems nowadays that we are taking this selfishness way out of hand to the point that it is being taken to the extreme where some don’t take at all in consideration other people. Since when has selfishness been taken out of context?!
The truth is that for your well-being, a healthy dose of selfishness is necessary. I dare to say it is not only necessary for you but for others as well. If you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t take care of others. Flight Attendants show passengers on their safety demo that in case of a decompression, don your oxygen mask FIRST before helping others. Notice how I capitalized the word first. This is to put emphasis on how you need to help yourself first. This is because unless you help yourself first, you can’t help others.
The kind of selfishness that I am referring to here is not the kind where it is all about you and only you. It is not the one where you don’t care at all about others. It is not the one where you disregard others completely. This is NOT to be taken to the extreme.
The healthy dose of selfishness that I am referring to here is the one where you take your emotions into consideration. You don’t do things that don’t feel right to you just to make others feel good. A healthy dose of selfishness takes your mental state into consideration. For instance, a situation that drives you insane, no matter how much you love the person or how much you want to be there for them, for your own good, you minimize your energy and time in the situation because you want to preserve your mental sanity. A healthy dose of selfishness takes into consideration your physical state. Anything that jeopardizes your physical state you avoid no matter what, or at least try to minimize whatever it is that jeopardizes your physical state.
We are taught to give, give, give but constant giving without receiving will wear you out so quickly. Not only that, you will be giving not from a place of love but from a place of obligation and this only leads to feelings of resentment and anger. In order to sincerely give, you must receive. And the first person you must receive from is you. You need you. You need you always!
If you don’t take care of your own basic needs, if you are not selfish enough to make sure your cup is more than full, as a matter of fact, it should be overflowing. That way you can give from the overflow. In this way you will not feel depleted energetically.
A healthy dose of selfishness is an act of love from yourself. It is also an act of love for others. Think about this, when you feel good, don’t you only want to give good to others? When you are well taken care of, don’t you then feel better about taking care of others? When you are so in love, don’t you then see everything with eyes of love?
To get to this state, you need to do you. When you have a healthy dose of selfishness, this is exactly what you are giving yourself- the love, attention and care that you deserve. A healthy dose of selfishness will make your inner self feel taken care of, so you won’t feel any abandonment issues, no neglect, no resentment, no anger.
So if you have been neglecting yourself in any way, if you have been only taking care of others without you giving yourself the time to take care of you, I would like to invite you to have a healthy dose of selfishness. Start now taking care of your needs. Start now to listen to yourself. Start now to have this act of love for yourself. You deserve it.
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