What Do Loving Behaviors Look Like?

In today’s post, I want to discuss something that is very much needed because whether we realize it or not, the behaviors that others have toward us and the treatment that we allow from others can affect our well-being in a very indirect way. So in today’s post, I would like to discuss what are some behaviors and treatments that you NEED to allow because these are loving behaviors- the ONLY behaviors that you need to allow.

There are many ways in which someone can mistreat us that goes beyond verbal, physical, mental and emotional abuse. It is the following behaviors that you need to be aware of and mindful because it is the “small” things that are not so small which can eat up and chip away your self-esteem without you even realizing it. Mistreatment can come in the form of disrespect of space, self, time and keeping things in a superficial level. The problem with the last thing I wrote, “keeping things in a superficial level” is that this doesn’t allow for a deeper, more meaningful bond which is what provides nutrients to our soul.

So now that I wrote some of the things that are forms of mistreatment, I would like to write about its opposite. Loving behaviors from others come in the form of being respectful of who you are. What I mean with this is that the person doesn’t judge you for being who you are. The person truly accepts you for who you are. The person sees your value as a human being and treats you like so. The person makes you feel comfortable and good about who you are. Being around that person feels like a very nutritious meal that feels satisfying and healthy. It is with those kinds of people that you should be cultivating relationships with.

Loving behaviors from others come in the form of them respecting your time. People that want to be in your life don’t ask to be in your life, they just are. These are people that make the time to be with you and spend time with you. When they do spend time with you, you are not their plan B, you are their plan A. These are people that when they say they will contact you to see you, they do so. These are not people that keep you hanging, on the contrary, they want to make sure that you have set the time aside to be with them. They are mindful of your time to leave you hanging and not let you know of your plans together.

Loving behaviors from others come in the form of respecting your space. They respect the fact that you need time for you. You need time to cultivate you. You need your space to center yourself and for you to be right with you. They respect the fact that you have your own ways and that those ways are to be respected. For instance, perhaps in the morning you are not much of a talker because you need time to wake up. The person respects that about you that they are not just thinking about how they function that they invade that space of yours of you needed some time to wake up a bit. This is just an example to illustrate what I mean with space and this is just one form of space. Space can be defined in other ways as well.

For the purpose of this blog, I will break down this topic into different blog posts just so I don’t make this blog post very long. There are many ways to show loving behaviors that this in and of itself can become a chapter rather than a blog post. I just wanted to show you in a general sense what loving behaviors look like because these are the ONLY behaviors that we all need to be accepting from others. Accepting anything less than this only chips your self-esteem and self-concept, reducing you to believing that others can treat you however way they want and subconsciously placing you in the category of being an “option”. You are NOT an option, therefore, don’t ever reduce yourself to anyone treating you this way.

With today’s post, I want to encourage you to pay attention to the way others are treating you. How are you allowing others to treat you? If those in your personal space are not showing loving behaviors, it’s time to reconsider and do some spring cleaning of relationships in your life.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Not Loving Yourself Is Expensive

Since we are in the month of love, I would like to write about how expensive it is to not love yourself.

I can tell you from personal experience that it has cost me a lot to not love myself in the past. It has cost me my peace, my self-esteem, my value, among other things. What many of us sometimes fail to realize is that loving ourselves is crucial to that foundation of well-being.

Not loving yourself costs you your peace in the sense that when you don’t love yourself, you will most likely settle for situations that rob you of your peace. You will choose things that are not in alignment with who you truly are. You will choose things, situations and people that only feed the negative feelings you may have about yourself and your life.

Not loving yourself makes you blind as to your own blind spots. It doesn’t allow you to see the role that you are playing in your own life and what is contributing to the negative things in your life. It can make you prone to becoming a victim to situations that you perhaps create for yourself. It doesn’t allow you to look within for self-empowerment.

Not loving yourself hurts and eats away your self-esteem. It makes you choose relationships that are far below from what you deserve. It makes you remain in situations that you need to leave and tolerate things that one must never tolerate. It also makes you attract things that are in the same vibrational energy as you are in- meaning that if you don’t feel highly about yourself, you will attract others that feel the same way. You can always tell when this is the case based on how a person treats you, speaks to you, and makes you feel.

Not loving yourself diminishes your value. What adds value to you is you. You are the one who determines your worth and how others will treat you. You do play a role in how others will perceive you. When you don’t love yourself, this is when you mistakenly believe that you are not worthy of genuine love, of kindness and respect. Because you can’t see your own value, you hinder others from seeing your value as well.

Not loving yourself can lead to feelings of depression, unworthiness, anxiety, among other things. Life is not about this. You were designed to feel loved, to be loved, to feel happiness, to live in your knowing of your value and to grow into a healthy, fulfilled individual. However, none of this can be accomplished without loving yourself.

As you can read, not loving yourself is very expensive and not worth paying that big of a price. Anything that contributes to you not loving yourself, please get rid of it. Anything that doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated and accepted are not worth your time nor energy. Start placing more value in yourself. Start seeing your beauty. Start seeing what makes you unique and wonderful and you will be at the start of loving yourself and if you do already, you will be loving yourself even more.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

What Does Loving Someone Else Mean?

Ahhh love. It’s such a powerful word because of all that it implies. It’s also a word/feeling that is so often misunderstood since we all have our own definition of what love is. However, today’s post is not about defining the word but rather about writing what does loving someone else mean.

What does loving someone else have to do with your own well-being? Everything! Believe it or not, your well-being has so much to do with how you love someone else. So what does it mean to love someone else? Loving someone else, first and foremost, entails you love yourself FIRST. It means that you care about yourself FIRST. Believe it or not, loving someone else means you first have to be selfish.

Please allow me to elaborate on this. A healthy dose of selfishness is so crucial to loving someone else. When all you do is give, give and give without filling yourself up first, you will eventually be empty inside. When you are empty inside, you have nothing else to give. When you have nothing else to give, all you are going to want is to receive. Wanting only to receive makes you unappealing energetically, making others not want to be around you.

Giving to others is beautiful but it is a must to remember that with the same intensity that you give to others, you must also give to yourself that same way. When you do, that’s when you will feel full. That’s when you don’t mind giving to others. That’s when you will be able to come from a place of sincere and genuine happiness. It is when you come from a place of genuine happiness when you can give pure love to others.

Loving someone means you do you FIRST. You first take care of your needs so that you can take care of other people’s need next. It means you put your well-being first, making sure that you are happy, making sure you are more than full so that you can share with others what you have.

Loving someone else means you are able to connect with yourself first. Before you can connect with someone else and even to be able to connect with someone else, the connection first must reside within you. When you are not connected with who you are, what you are all about, how you function, what works for you and what doesn’t work for you, there is no way you are able to connect with someone else. There is just no way. This is because when you are not connected with yourself, you have no idea of your needs and wants so you are unable to satisfy yourself first. This is when you may fall in the trap of wanting someone else to fulfill your needs and when others fail to do so, you may try extra hard to get that person to fulfill this need. In this case, it becomes a negative cycle that only feeds any negative feelings you may have.

As you can read, loving someone else does not mean that you are self-sacrificing, extremely loving, extreme giving to the point of you not having much left for yourself or anything that hurts your overall well-being. Loving someone else first means you love you, you love you despite anything and everything. It means you put yourself first because as you do, you take care of your needs which will enable you to be able to take care of other people’s needs. Love first comes from you. It comes from you taking care of you, loving you and respecting you. When you do this, you will be able to offer others a healthy kind of love which is very much needed in today’s world.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

Who You Are and How You Live Matters!

If at any moment in your life you felt that who you are and how your live your life doesn’t matter or if you know anyone who may feel this way, then this is the post to read. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that who you are doesn’t matter. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that how you live your life doesn’t matter because it does!

Whether you realize it or not, you impact others. I am pretty sure you have friends and family. Even if you don’t have much friends, you still impact those you do have. Everything we do and say set an example to others. There are people who look up to you and love you. There are people who are concern for you. And certainly the world needs you!

It doesn’t matter how you look nor how you are. It doesn’t matter what your tastes are. It doesn’t matter what you are good at and what you are not good at, all the things that make up who you are make you unique and you were created this way because someone else needs you exactly the way you are. How do they need you? It depends, people can need you in different ways. Perhaps you are meant to set an example for others. Perhaps you are meant to greatly influence others. Perhaps you are meant to inspire others. Whatever those reasons are, you are created with a purpose.

One thing I want to add is that you will be rejected by others. Why do I need to write this? Because rejection is one of the reasons why some may feel inadequate because none of us like rejection. However, if we can reframe that rejection into something else, we will see the beauty in that rejection. As a matter of fact, I want to encourage you to embrace rejection. That’s right! Gosh rejection is beautiful! You don’t want everything and anything that comes your way! It’s important to make room for more wonderful things and people in your life. This is why rejection is so beautiful- it makes room for better people and better opportunities!

When you are true to who you are and when you live your life fully according to the real you, you are actually giving others permission to do the same. That’s right! This is because it is so refreshing to be around people who are true to themselves and there is something about us living fully that resonates with others. That’s because all of us by nature crave to live fully and crave to be our true selves without caring about what others think nor feel. Living your life fully gives others freedom- the freedom to do the same and the freedom to not have to worry about you.

Since I wrote “the freedom to not have to worry about you”, I need to emphasize that not living your life fully and not being who you truly are, you are actually being a burden to others. That burden that you place on them without realizing will make others want to be away from you because indeed it is not freeing to be around someone who is negative towards themselves and not helping themselves.

I want to encourage you to know that who you are and how you live your life matters. Remember that it doesn’t matter who you are, what you do for a living, how many friends you have (it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality), if you are currently single or married, etc., you do influence others. Your life has an impact on others that creates ripple effects. To not think this, I believe, is very selfish from your part because you are not considering how your actions nor who you are affect others and you are denying others of the gift of you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Things That Held You Back

Some people may look back and realize that there were several things that held them back. Perhaps those things were the people around them, perhaps their environment, their childhood, their limiting beliefs, etc. and for some, the very thought of these things holding them back keeps holding them back.

The one thing you can never recuperate is time. Once time is gone, it’s gone. However, you still have more time ahead of you. The longer you keep looking back at the things that held you back, the more held back you will be. The things that once held you back don’t need to continue holding you back.

If you are held back for whatever reason, I want you to seriously consider the fact that perhaps it is you who is holding you back. Why do I dare you to consider this? Because the reality is that you can NOT control what others do. You can NOT control how others think. NO ONE has power over you. NO ONE can define you. NO ONE, unless you grant them permission, can do anything in your life.

I want to briefly discuss about childhood and this is one that is difficult to talk about since I know for some there were probably serious childhood issues. Once you become an adult, YOU have the choice as to whether or not you are going to continue to allow what happened to you to affect you. If you realize that the issues are too deep that you can’t handle them alone, then go seek a therapist or a psychologist. Get the help you need but don’t continue to allow your past to affect you in negative ways.

I want to briefly discuss limiting beliefs. It is a must to find the source of the limiting beliefs. You may be surprised to learn that the limiting belief you may have is someone else’s beliefs and you just internalized it as your own belief. It is important to challenge your beliefs if you are to grow into the person that you are meant to be.

I want to briefly discuss your environment. You don’t have to be your environment. If your environment isn’t congruent with the person that you are, that doesn’t mean that who you really are is wrong. Just like not all trees can grow in the same environment, we all can’t grow in the same environment. Know that you are much more than your environment if your environment is not a reflection of you. Also know that just because you are not like your environment, that doesn’t make you wrong. That just means that you are you and that’s it. There is nothing wrong with that.

The last thing I want to briefly discuss is people. What people think or say about you is none of your business. Your business is YOU and that’s it. Once again, you can’t control what other people do. You can’t control how other people think. People can only hold you back if you allow them to hold you back. Also people’s complexes and criticisms are non of your business. What other people decide to do with their life you can not control. The only person you can control is yourself so start to control yourself so that you can have the life that you want.

It is a must to control your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, your actions and what you allow in your life. Remember that nothing needs to hold you back unless you ALLOW it to hold you back. This is the key word- allow. Remember that you are the only one who can allow things to hold you back.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Well-being Requires Honesty

One may not think that honesty has anything to do with one’s well-being but it does. The honesty that I am writing about is not the honesty that comes from others…..it is the honesty that comes from your own self.

Honesty is not always an easy thing. Honesty requires a certain level of courage and strength that sometimes it’s hard to have, especially during times of vulnerability. Sometimes for our mental and emotional sanity it may seem better to lie to ourselves but I can guarantee you that this will only bite you in your behind sooner than later. No matter how hard the truth may be, how hard it is to admit certain things, it is to your own benefit to be honest with yourself.

What does it take to be honest with yourself? It takes first and foremost self-love. There will be times where you may strongly want or desire something that either isn’t for you or that plain “rejected” you and this may crush your self-esteem and question your self-worth. It is during these times when your self-love will be tested. No matter what it is that you want or love, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else. I will repeat, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else!

“Well, what does it take to have that self-love?” you may wonder. It takes being able to see your own value even when others don’t see it. It is YOU who determine your value. No material object, no person, no circumstance, no man or woman, absolutely nothing else determine your value but you. If you can’t see your own value, it is hard to be able to love yourself.

You seeing your worth and your self-love will give you the strength to be honest with yourself at all times. When you can learn to be honest with yourself, you will not accept situations or people who compromise in any way your well-being. For instance, and I can’t think of a better example than this, when you really love someone or like them but you know they don’t feel the same, it doesn’t matter what you feel for them, if they don’t feel the same for you, you MUST accept that and take your self-love, your heart, your valuables (valuables meaning what you have to offer mentally, emotionally and spiritually and your body) and go find someone who is crazy about you just as you are crazy about them. You can’t afford to accept breadcrumbs from no one. You can’t afford to be an option for someone. Honesty requires you face the truth even if the truth sucks. Honesty requires you to let go even when it hurts to let go.

When you fail to be honest with yourself, the truth somehow will hit you on the face. You can’t sustain for long something that was never yours or something that was a lie from the beginning. In the long run, that lie will hurt more than you facing the truth right from the beginning.

A life of joy and sustained happiness require that there be honesty in every area of your life first and foremost from yourself and then from others. When you fail to be honest with yourself, you tend to accept things that are not up to par with what you need and deserve.

You deserve to be truly happy. You deserve to know what you have in your life. You deserve to know that what you have is real in your life. You deserve genuine love from yourself and from others. You deserve to have a life where you love your reality in every way. This is what you deserve but in order to have that, you must be honesty with yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.