The Things That Held You Back

Some people may look back and realize that there were several things that held them back. Perhaps those things were the people around them, perhaps their environment, their childhood, their limiting beliefs, etc. and for some, the very thought of these things holding them back keeps holding them back.

The one thing you can never recuperate is time. Once time is gone, it’s gone. However, you still have more time ahead of you. The longer you keep looking back at the things that held you back, the more held back you will be. The things that once held you back don’t need to continue holding you back.

If you are held back for whatever reason, I want you to seriously consider the fact that perhaps it is you who is holding you back. Why do I dare you to consider this? Because the reality is that you can NOT control what others do. You can NOT control how others think. NO ONE has power over you. NO ONE can define you. NO ONE, unless you grant them permission, can do anything in your life.

I want to briefly discuss about childhood and this is one that is difficult to talk about since I know for some there were probably serious childhood issues. Once you become an adult, YOU have the choice as to whether or not you are going to continue to allow what happened to you to affect you. If you realize that the issues are too deep that you can’t handle them alone, then go seek a therapist or a psychologist. Get the help you need but don’t continue to allow your past to affect you in negative ways.

I want to briefly discuss limiting beliefs. It is a must to find the source of the limiting beliefs. You may be surprised to learn that the limiting belief you may have is someone else’s beliefs and you just internalized it as your own belief. It is important to challenge your beliefs if you are to grow into the person that you are meant to be.

I want to briefly discuss your environment. You don’t have to be your environment. If your environment isn’t congruent with the person that you are, that doesn’t mean that who you really are is wrong. Just like not all trees can grow in the same environment, we all can’t grow in the same environment. Know that you are much more than your environment if your environment is not a reflection of you. Also know that just because you are not like your environment, that doesn’t make you wrong. That just means that you are you and that’s it. There is nothing wrong with that.

The last thing I want to briefly discuss is people. What people think or say about you is none of your business. Your business is YOU and that’s it. Once again, you can’t control what other people do. You can’t control how other people think. People can only hold you back if you allow them to hold you back. Also people’s complexes and criticisms are non of your business. What other people decide to do with their life you can not control. The only person you can control is yourself so start to control yourself so that you can have the life that you want.

It is a must to control your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, your actions and what you allow in your life. Remember that nothing needs to hold you back unless you ALLOW it to hold you back. This is the key word- allow. Remember that you are the only one who can allow things to hold you back.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Well-being Requires Honesty

One may not think that honesty has anything to do with one’s well-being but it does. The honesty that I am writing about is not the honesty that comes from others…..it is the honesty that comes from your own self.

Honesty is not always an easy thing. Honesty requires a certain level of courage and strength that sometimes it’s hard to have, especially during times of vulnerability. Sometimes for our mental and emotional sanity it may seem better to lie to ourselves but I can guarantee you that this will only bite you in your behind sooner than later. No matter how hard the truth may be, how hard it is to admit certain things, it is to your own benefit to be honest with yourself.

What does it take to be honest with yourself? It takes first and foremost self-love. There will be times where you may strongly want or desire something that either isn’t for you or that plain “rejected” you and this may crush your self-esteem and question your self-worth. It is during these times when your self-love will be tested. No matter what it is that you want or love, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else. I will repeat, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else!

“Well, what does it take to have that self-love?” you may wonder. It takes being able to see your own value even when others don’t see it. It is YOU who determine your value. No material object, no person, no circumstance, no man or woman, absolutely nothing else determine your value but you. If you can’t see your own value, it is hard to be able to love yourself.

You seeing your worth and your self-love will give you the strength to be honest with yourself at all times. When you can learn to be honest with yourself, you will not accept situations or people who compromise in any way your well-being. For instance, and I can’t think of a better example than this, when you really love someone or like them but you know they don’t feel the same, it doesn’t matter what you feel for them, if they don’t feel the same for you, you MUST accept that and take your self-love, your heart, your valuables (valuables meaning what you have to offer mentally, emotionally and spiritually and your body) and go find someone who is crazy about you just as you are crazy about them. You can’t afford to accept breadcrumbs from no one. You can’t afford to be an option for someone. Honesty requires you face the truth even if the truth sucks. Honesty requires you to let go even when it hurts to let go.

When you fail to be honest with yourself, the truth somehow will hit you on the face. You can’t sustain for long something that was never yours or something that was a lie from the beginning. In the long run, that lie will hurt more than you facing the truth right from the beginning.

A life of joy and sustained happiness require that there be honesty in every area of your life first and foremost from yourself and then from others. When you fail to be honest with yourself, you tend to accept things that are not up to par with what you need and deserve.

You deserve to be truly happy. You deserve to know what you have in your life. You deserve to know that what you have is real in your life. You deserve genuine love from yourself and from others. You deserve to have a life where you love your reality in every way. This is what you deserve but in order to have that, you must be honesty with yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How Your Definition of Beauty Ties In With Your Well-being

One may not think that the definition of beauty is very much tied to one’s well-being since when one thinks of well-being/wellness, it is inevitable to think about nutrition and working out. However, this one definition can influence your well-being either for better or for worse. If your definition of beauty is hurting you rather than helping you, then it’s time for you to change your concept of beauty.

Our self-concept and self-esteem are very much tied to the way we feel and think about ourselves physically. It is because of this that your definition of beauty can either hurt you or help you. But first, let’s discuss what being beautiful means.

Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors and thank God for this. It is these differences that make life so interesting. It is these differences that make us all fit with someone or some group. The different spices that we have in our pantry are what keep our food delicious with unique flavors. This is the same thing when it comes to people.

I am also aware that many of us want what we don’t have. Those who have curly hair wish they had straight hair and vice versa. Those who may be short wish they were a bit taller, well that’s not my case because I love my height. What I may lack in height I have in abundance in other things. This is exactly how you have to view whatever it is that you don’t have. Whatever it is that you “lack”, you have in abundance in other ways, whether that be intelligence, charisma, etc.

So with this said, what is your definition of beauty? If your definition of beauty consists of things that you don’t have or lack, then I encourage you to reconsider your definition of beauty because if this continues on, this can greatly affect the way you see yourself. Trust, know and learn to see several things about you that are beautiful. Everyone has their own beauty and this, in and of itself, is beautiful! Beauty doesn’t consist of having straight, long hair, or clear skin or whatever the color of your skin.

One thing I can’t leave out of this post is never, EVER allow anyone to define for you what is beautiful. Never EVER allow anyone to define you. The moment you allow this to happen, you allow that person to take control of the way you view and feel about yourself and that is a big no no.

The definition of beauty….is one to look into if you notice that you don’t find yourself pretty enough or handsome enough or good enough. You are MORE than pretty enough, MORE than handsome enough, MORE than good enough. If you don’t think this way, it’s time for you to check what your definition of beauty is.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Importance of Saying “No”

You probably wouldn’t think that this has much to do with your well-being, however, “no” should be a part of your vocabulary in order to increase your well-being and this is what I will be discussing in this week’s post.

There is a Spanish saying that goes “Quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta” which means that if you try to get your arms around too much, you won’t be able to squeeze. In other words, if you try to do so much, you will get none done. There is only so much that anyone can do and the more you want, not only do you have to take breaks and stop for a moment, you have to say “no” to some things that can come your way.

Stress should be reserve for real emergencies- when a family member is ill, when you are ill, when there is an accident, etc.- not for every day stuff of life. Stressing because you are taking up on so much will only lead to illness and to frustration. It will take you out of alignment and won’t help you think straight.

I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again, it’s great to have goals, it’s great to want so much out of life. However, you don’t ever want to take yourself to the point where you break down. That does no good to anyone.

Saying “no” is about setting priorities. In order to achieve much, you need to set priorities first and then once those tasks are completed, move on to the next task. It’s not that certain things are not important to you, it’s just that in order for you to be able to complete that other project successfully, you first must complete the one you have at hand. Also, you must know what would make the most difference now and work on that first. This is another way to get more done- knowing what would make the most difference in your life if that task was completed.

Saying “no” is about setting your own boundaries. You set boundaries for yourself and for others. Your well-being must be a priority, first and foremost, and so when you say “no” to certain things, you are avoiding getting yourself into things that at the end will just drive you mentally crazy because it’s too much to do and physically exhausted because having so much to do does wear the body down.

Make saying “no” a part of your vocabulary. This is about you taking care of yourself, not taking on too much stuff than you can possibly handle at the moment and setting boundaries. Others may have their opinions in regards to your “no” and that’s ok. At the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters most and you never want to take yourself to the point of a breakdown.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Don’t Use That Crutch

My wish for this new year is for you to start the new year with a bam. It is my wish that you have a great year and have the best well-being ever. However, in order to have this, mentally and emotionally you must be right. It is for this reason that I start of this year by suggesting you not to use that crutch.

Crutches are for when one has an injury and needs to use a crutch in order to lean on to move forward or move anywhere. That is the ONLY time you should be using a crutch. Other than that all you will be doing is making yourself more handicap by continuously using something that you no longer need.

The key phrase in the word “crutch” is to lean on. I emphasize this because that is what we sometimes do in life- we use things or others as crutches in order to move on, making ourselves handicap. I’ve said before and I will continuously say and write that the worse handicap is the one of the mind. I would like to add that another kind of handicap which is just as bad is being emotionally handicapped but this I will reserve for another post. Having things or others as crutches is terribly detrimental to your overall well-being and this is what I will be discussing.

Using others as crutches is detrimental to your mental and emotional well-being. It makes you a slave of that other person by attaching some sort of value to the other person that can sometimes undermine your own value. This can make you not realize your own potential, your own capacity to get certain things done and you hinder yourself from seeing how much power you have. It is also detrimental to the relationship. It hurts the relationship because by using someone as a crutch, you accidentally become like a leech, sucking the life out of the other person. This kind of behavior makes you push others away unintentionally. There needs to be balance in a relationship and in order for there to be a healthy relationship, two people need to be whole. A relationship where one is a crutch means one person is not whole.

Using things as crutches, again, it makes you a slave to those things. Part of achieving a great well-being is not having any attachment to things. The best and healthiest attachment to have is with oneself. Again, just like using someone as a crutch hinders you from seeing your own power, so does using things as crutches. It is important to know that no one can help you move forward if you don’t move forward yourself.

Crutches, the wrong crutches I would like to emphasize, rob you of your power. They hinder you from seeing what you are made up of. They mentally and emotionally make you handicapped. In order to be whole you must release those crutches that you have been holding on to and know that it is YOU who makes your life happen.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez

Are You a Liability to Yourself?

Many times we don’t have the life that we want, we don’t feel as great as we are capable of feeling and we don’t reach our fullest potential not because we are not deserving of all the things that we want but because we are our own liability.

The meaning of liability is something that can cause a disadvantage. So with this said, when you are your own liability, you put yourself in a disadvantage in the sense that you yourself cause your own misfortunes, your own failures, your disappointments, etc.

You are probably wondering “how so?”. Well, there are many ways to be your own liability. You can do this through your own beliefs. If you deep down inside don’t believe you are worthy, don’t think you are enough, don’t think that you are capable, these beliefs hinder you of the very thing that you want. This is something to be dealt with ASAP since not dealing with one’s own beliefs can keep recreating what it is that you don’t want.

You do this through your thoughts, whether these are thoughts about yourself or thoughts about your life. This can kind of be related to your beliefs but with thoughts, think about what it is that you think on a daily basis. Your thoughts do influence your emotions.

You can be your own liability by the things that you allow in your life. What kind of messages are you allowing in? What kind of relationships are you allowing in your life? What kind of environments are you choosing to be a part of? What kind of labels are you allowing? You can truly become what you allow.

What kind of shape are you emotionally? We are driven by our emotions. We make decisions based on our emotions. When emotionally we are not right, we won’t have the capacity to make decisions with clarity. When emotionally we are not right, we open the doors to bad things to come into our life.

When you come to the realization that you are your own liability, it is a must to get help. Sometimes it is hard to do this on our own and that is when it is a must to reach out to someone who can help. This is for your own good as well as the good of your own well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Does the Goods Justify the Arrogance?

I’ve written about many topics when it comes to well-being. I had an interesting conversation last week that left me thinking about this very question “Does the goods justify the arrogance?”. Where did this conversation come from? It came from the fact that someone mentioned that a specific person had the right to be arrogant because that person had the goods to back it up. I couldn’t disagree more and as you keep reading, you will understand how this affects your well-being.

One thing I must say is that there is nothing wrong with giving credit where credit is due. If a person acquires a particular skill that can be hard to master, good for them. If a person has a specific talent, good for them. If a person has several degrees, good for them. If a person is physically gorgeous, good for them. However, no amount of “goods” ever justifies being arrogant. For the sake of this post, when I refer to “goods”, this means any skill, any talent, any attribute that for many are very appealing.

How does this tie with well-being? For starters, we are wired to be connected with others. We are wired to feel love and give love. There is no way to connect with others through arrogance. There is no way you are giving love through that stance. Also, on the contrary to what many may think, arrogance is not a sign of self-esteem or of confidence, it’s actually the opposite. It is a sign of weakness, of insecurity. The truly secure person has no need to think they are better than others. The truly secure person has no need to look nor treat others as inferior. Everyone has their own talents and beauties and those are to be embraced, not thought of as inferior because they may not be as “great” as someone else’s. Arrogance is disconnection. Arrogance divides. Well-being is connection, it is togetherness. It is great to form connections with others from a point of you appreciating what they have and know even if it’s different from what you have and know.

There is no advantage to being arrogant. It just shows that you feel inferior, not superior and it is a sign of weakness. No goods justify the arrogance no matter what that good is. In the end, what you do with that arrogance is you distance pearls away from you.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.