For Your Well-being, Don’t Place Yourself In Situations Where You Will Be Hurt

Many times I have placed myself in situations where I don’t think I meant to hurt myself but I did. I had shed many tears unnecessarily, I have been disappointed by others many times and all this despite all the evidence staring at me in my face that I should get out of the situation in which I got myself in. I think most of us can familiarize with this feeling and situation and I can only tell you from personal experience that for your well-being, don’t place yourself in situations where you will be hurt!

But why do we place ourselves in hurtful situations? How can we avoid this to begin with? First off, as human beings we all have needs. Need to be loved, need for attention, need for connection, need to feel needed, need for that feeling of importance. Because of these basic needs we can find ourselves in situations that had it not been because of these needs, we would not have placed ourselves in those situations to begin with. This is the reason why it is so important to understand yourself, oh how powerful it is to understand yourself, and what your needs are. This simple understanding can uncover a lot of what we have in our subconscious and can reveal to us what holds us back from the life we truly long. So start by understanding what your needs and wants are.

Love yourself! Truly, when you love yourself, you won’t allow anyone to hurt you or treat you any less than you deserve. You won’t even settle for situations that you don’t deserve, i.e. get involved with someone who is unavailable, among other stuff. When you love yourself, you understand your worth as a person or woman/man and so you will only accept situations or people that are worthy of you.

When you find yourself already in a situation where you can see that you are heading towards the “hurt” road, stop for a second. Ask yourself why you are driving down that road. If you need outside feedback, ask someone you love and trust what they think about the situation. You will be surprised how much you can open your eyes with some outside perspective about the situation. Truly dig inside you to understand what leads you to drive down this hurtful road.

Ask yourself, “if you can be in any situation or have anything in life, what would it be?” For example, if what you are looking for is true love and all you keep attracting are unavailable men or women, really ask yourself what do you want. Do you really want to be in a situation where you know you won’t be heading where you want to go? If you are trying to go to California, I’m pretty sure you won’t catch a plane going to Montana, would you? So ask yourself why you are doing this same exact thing in other situations in your life. This will help you think more about where you want to be and will help get your antennas working properly to really be on the look out for what you truly want and deserve.

This is just some of the many things that you can do in order to understand yourself more, get more of what you want in life and get what you truly deserve. You DESERVE more out of life. You don’t have to be content with situations that are somewhat nice or just plain not healthy.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

How to Bring Some Sunshine When Everything Around You Seems Cloudy

Everyday the weather changes. When it comes to the weather, we also go through different seasons. These changes in weather and seasons can make us feel different, changing our mood at times.

Just like the weather, we go through changes in our life. We go through changes inside of us. And the challenge is not when it is all sunshine and great but when it gets cloudy around us. It is when things start to get cloudy around us that our mood can change, leading us to perhaps feeling unmotivated, sad and losing our focus. For this reason, in today’s post, I would like to share how to bring some sunshine when everything around you seems cloudy.

The first thing to bring some sunshine into your life is to start taking responsibility for how you feel. This may not seem like it’s a ray of sunshine but it is because it is bringing the power back to you. So if you are feeling sad, this is because you want to feel sad. Now you may say to yourself “well Aura, I don’t want to feel sad.” Well, if you are to take responsibility for how you are feeling, this means that you make a choice as to how you are going to feel. So you can choose to change how you feel. One thing I need to clarify, if you have a real reason for feeling sad such as having a sick loved one, etc., then you need to allow yourself to feel your emotions. Just know that staying in this feeling for way too long won’t help your health and it is a must to put a time limit on how you feel so you don’t spiral down.

The second thing you can do to bring some sunshine into your life is to change your focus. I said it before and I will say it again, what you focus on magnifies. If you are noticing a pattern in your life, that’s because that is what you are focusing on. You get what you decide to see all the time. You get what you focus on the most. You change your focus by making a decision to pay attention to something else. Keep changing your focus to something that you like until you are used to just focusing on what you want.

The third thing you can do to bring some sunshine into your life is to change the conversation that you have in your head. Yes, we all have chatters in our mind. If the chatter you have in your mind is toxic, what do you think your outer environment will be? It will be toxic as well. You change what’s toxic by replacing it with something positive. Because I know how challenging changing one’s self-talk can be, I have a beautiful surprise in store for you that will be coming up soon. Be on the look out for that.

The fourth thing you can do to bring some sunshine into your life is to be aware of the people you allow in your personal space. I wrote about the importance of choosing your friends right as well as your companion right in the book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness. I can’t stress enough how important your environment is to your overall well-being. You become like the people that you surround yourself by. The people around you can influence the way you feel about yourself and your life. Choose to be around people who are loving. Choose to be around people who love themselves. Choose to be around people who lift you up.

Bringing some sunshine when everything around you seems cloudy is ultimately up to you. Take that power back and start bringing into your life some sunshine.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

 

 

 

How Does Lack of Self-Love Looks Like?

Self-love is so critical to your overall well-being because this is one of the basics for building the foundation of your well-being. Love leads to trust. Love leads to respect. Love leads to healthy boundaries. When it comes to having a healthy relationship with yourself, self-love has to be there.

But many times, that lack of self-love tends to wear a mask and we think we love ourselves but in reality we don’t. It is when we lack self-love that we find ourselves in situations where we not only question ourselves but we question whether or not we deserve certain things, we self-sabotage, and the list goes on.

So with this said, how does lack of self-love looks like? Lack of self-love looks like you coming up with excuses for why someone disrespects you. It masks itself in you blaming yourself all the time for everything that goes wrong. It looks like you abandoning certain aspects of you and so you seek elsewhere for what you think you need. Lack of self-love also reveals itself in the choices that you make. Lack of self-love wears many masks that it is not possible to discuss them all in one post but I will focus on the ones I just mentioned here.

I’m going to elaborate a little bit on each of these things. The first one which is you coming up with excuses for why someone disrespects you. First off, there are no excuses or reasons for someone to disrespect you, I don’t care what the other person claims their reasons are. Someone disrespecting you is a reflection of who they are and how they feel about themselves. You allowing the disrespect is a reflection of the way you feel about yourself. You allowing the disrespect means you don’t feel deserving of respect which means you don’t love yourself. Remember that love is respect.

The second mask that lack of self-love wears is you blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. There is a big difference between taking responsibility for what happens in your life and blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong. One leads to greater well-being because it leads to growth and the other is just plain negative and only chips from your self-esteem. There is a negative energy to blaming because it is accusatory. It implies that you did something so wrong and only you did wrong. There is no learning from the experience with blame. Blame leads to shame. There is no love in shame.

The third mask is you abandoning certain aspects of yourself and searching elsewhere for what you think you need. First, the things that you actually need you won’t find it elsewhere. That is because it first resides within you. You abandoning certain aspects of yourself means you not tending to your own needs, you not paying attention to your emotions. It’s also you not filling yourself up with the love, care and attention you need. You first need you before anyone else needs you. No one else needs you more than you.

The fourth thing I mention is that lack of self-love reveals itself in the choices you make. You want to know if you truly love yourself? Just look at the choices you make on a daily basis. What are the choices you make when it comes to food? What are the choices you make when it comes to friends? What are the choices you make when it comes to companionship? What are the choices you make when it comes to your feelings? All these, if you take a close look, will reveal to you whether or not you truly love yourself.

I would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2uDS9Oo, put your name and email address.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

 

 

 

 

Why a Healthy Dose of Selfishness Is Necessary?

Ahhhh selfishness. We were taught at a young age not to be selfish. It seems nowadays that we are taking this selfishness way out of hand to the point that it is being taken to the extreme where some don’t take at all in consideration other people. Since when has selfishness been taken out of context?!

The truth is that for your well-being, a healthy dose of selfishness is necessary. I dare to say it is not only necessary for you but for others as well. If you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t take care of others. Flight Attendants show passengers on their safety demo that in case of a decompression, don your oxygen mask FIRST before helping others. Notice how I capitalized the word first. This is to put emphasis on how you need to help yourself first. This is because unless you help yourself first, you can’t help others.

The kind of selfishness that I am referring to here is not the kind where it is all about you and only you. It is not the one where you don’t care at all about others. It is not the one where you disregard others completely. This is NOT to be taken to the extreme.

The healthy dose of selfishness that I am referring to here is the one where you take your emotions into consideration. You don’t do things that don’t feel right to you just to make others feel good. A healthy dose of selfishness takes your mental state into consideration. For instance, a situation that drives you insane, no matter how much you love the person or how much you want to be there for them, for your own good, you minimize your energy and time in the situation because you want to preserve your mental sanity. A healthy dose of selfishness takes into consideration your physical state. Anything that jeopardizes your physical state you avoid no matter what, or at least try to minimize whatever it is that jeopardizes your physical state.

We are taught to give, give, give but constant giving without receiving will wear you out so quickly. Not only that, you will be giving not from a place of love but from a place of obligation and this only leads to feelings of resentment and anger. In order to sincerely give, you must receive. And the first person you must receive from is you. You need you. You need you always!

If you don’t take care of your own basic needs, if you are not selfish enough to make sure your cup is more than full, as a matter of fact, it should be overflowing. That way you can give from the overflow. In this way you will not feel depleted energetically.

A healthy dose of selfishness is an act of love from yourself. It is also an act of love for others. Think about this, when you feel good, don’t you only want to give good to others? When you are well taken care of, don’t you then feel better about taking care of others? When you are so in love, don’t you then see everything with eyes of love?

To get to this state, you need to do you. When you have a healthy dose of selfishness, this is exactly what you are giving yourself- the love, attention and care that you deserve. A healthy dose of selfishness will make your inner self feel taken care of, so you won’t feel any abandonment issues, no neglect, no resentment, no anger.

So if you have been neglecting yourself in any way, if you have been only taking care of others without you giving yourself the time to take care of you, I would like to invite you to have a healthy dose of selfishness. Start now taking care of your needs. Start now to listen to yourself. Start now to have this act of love for yourself. You deserve it.

I also would like to invite you to take the FREE course I created called The Path to Your Nirvana™, which is a 28 day course with 5 steps meant to help you live your own happiness by understanding first what is getting in the way of you being on your own path of happiness, how to overcome it, learning to understand your actions and focus and getting you to the path that your true essence has in store for you. There is a free bonus course with this course so it’s something for you to take advantage of. All you have to do is click on the link https://bit.ly/2QbBZW4, put your name, email address and select which language you would like the course.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

And if you would like to bring even more nature into your home, you can do what I do when I need a pick-me-up o when I have a headache, etc. and use the following oils that help me have more balance in life and I’m sure it will help you as well. http://my.doterra.com/Auraemartinez. You can also contact me so that I can help you choose the oils that will best help you.

What Do Loving Behaviors Look Like?

In today’s post, I want to discuss something that is very much needed because whether we realize it or not, the behaviors that others have toward us and the treatment that we allow from others can affect our well-being in a very indirect way. So in today’s post, I would like to discuss what are some behaviors and treatments that you NEED to allow because these are loving behaviors- the ONLY behaviors that you need to allow.

There are many ways in which someone can mistreat us that goes beyond verbal, physical, mental and emotional abuse. It is the following behaviors that you need to be aware of and mindful because it is the “small” things that are not so small which can eat up and chip away your self-esteem without you even realizing it. Mistreatment can come in the form of disrespect of space, self, time and keeping things in a superficial level. The problem with the last thing I wrote, “keeping things in a superficial level” is that this doesn’t allow for a deeper, more meaningful bond which is what provides nutrients to our soul.

So now that I wrote some of the things that are forms of mistreatment, I would like to write about its opposite. Loving behaviors from others come in the form of being respectful of who you are. What I mean with this is that the person doesn’t judge you for being who you are. The person truly accepts you for who you are. The person sees your value as a human being and treats you like so. The person makes you feel comfortable and good about who you are. Being around that person feels like a very nutritious meal that feels satisfying and healthy. It is with those kinds of people that you should be cultivating relationships with.

Loving behaviors from others come in the form of them respecting your time. People that want to be in your life don’t ask to be in your life, they just are. These are people that make the time to be with you and spend time with you. When they do spend time with you, you are not their plan B, you are their plan A. These are people that when they say they will contact you to see you, they do so. These are not people that keep you hanging, on the contrary, they want to make sure that you have set the time aside to be with them. They are mindful of your time to leave you hanging and not let you know of your plans together.

Loving behaviors from others come in the form of respecting your space. They respect the fact that you need time for you. You need time to cultivate you. You need your space to center yourself and for you to be right with you. They respect the fact that you have your own ways and that those ways are to be respected. For instance, perhaps in the morning you are not much of a talker because you need time to wake up. The person respects that about you that they are not just thinking about how they function that they invade that space of yours of you needed some time to wake up a bit. This is just an example to illustrate what I mean with space and this is just one form of space. Space can be defined in other ways as well.

For the purpose of this blog, I will break down this topic into different blog posts just so I don’t make this blog post very long. There are many ways to show loving behaviors that this in and of itself can become a chapter rather than a blog post. I just wanted to show you in a general sense what loving behaviors look like because these are the ONLY behaviors that we all need to be accepting from others. Accepting anything less than this only chips your self-esteem and self-concept, reducing you to believing that others can treat you however way they want and subconsciously placing you in the category of being an “option”. You are NOT an option, therefore, don’t ever reduce yourself to anyone treating you this way.

With today’s post, I want to encourage you to pay attention to the way others are treating you. How are you allowing others to treat you? If those in your personal space are not showing loving behaviors, it’s time to reconsider and do some spring cleaning of relationships in your life.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Not Loving Yourself Is Expensive

Since we are in the month of love, I would like to write about how expensive it is to not love yourself.

I can tell you from personal experience that it has cost me a lot to not love myself in the past. It has cost me my peace, my self-esteem, my value, among other things. What many of us sometimes fail to realize is that loving ourselves is crucial to that foundation of well-being.

Not loving yourself costs you your peace in the sense that when you don’t love yourself, you will most likely settle for situations that rob you of your peace. You will choose things that are not in alignment with who you truly are. You will choose things, situations and people that only feed the negative feelings you may have about yourself and your life.

Not loving yourself makes you blind as to your own blind spots. It doesn’t allow you to see the role that you are playing in your own life and what is contributing to the negative things in your life. It can make you prone to becoming a victim to situations that you perhaps create for yourself. It doesn’t allow you to look within for self-empowerment.

Not loving yourself hurts and eats away your self-esteem. It makes you choose relationships that are far below from what you deserve. It makes you remain in situations that you need to leave and tolerate things that one must never tolerate. It also makes you attract things that are in the same vibrational energy as you are in- meaning that if you don’t feel highly about yourself, you will attract others that feel the same way. You can always tell when this is the case based on how a person treats you, speaks to you, and makes you feel.

Not loving yourself diminishes your value. What adds value to you is you. You are the one who determines your worth and how others will treat you. You do play a role in how others will perceive you. When you don’t love yourself, this is when you mistakenly believe that you are not worthy of genuine love, of kindness and respect. Because you can’t see your own value, you hinder others from seeing your value as well.

Not loving yourself can lead to feelings of depression, unworthiness, anxiety, among other things. Life is not about this. You were designed to feel loved, to be loved, to feel happiness, to live in your knowing of your value and to grow into a healthy, fulfilled individual. However, none of this can be accomplished without loving yourself.

As you can read, not loving yourself is very expensive and not worth paying that big of a price. Anything that contributes to you not loving yourself, please get rid of it. Anything that doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated and accepted are not worth your time nor energy. Start placing more value in yourself. Start seeing your beauty. Start seeing what makes you unique and wonderful and you will be at the start of loving yourself and if you do already, you will be loving yourself even more.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez. I now have a YouTube channel which I will ask that you subscribe for more tips to increase your well-being https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLZANKeRUFM4YvMXy4HzQrg.

 

What Does Loving Someone Else Mean?

Ahhh love. It’s such a powerful word because of all that it implies. It’s also a word/feeling that is so often misunderstood since we all have our own definition of what love is. However, today’s post is not about defining the word but rather about writing what does loving someone else mean.

What does loving someone else have to do with your own well-being? Everything! Believe it or not, your well-being has so much to do with how you love someone else. So what does it mean to love someone else? Loving someone else, first and foremost, entails you love yourself FIRST. It means that you care about yourself FIRST. Believe it or not, loving someone else means you first have to be selfish.

Please allow me to elaborate on this. A healthy dose of selfishness is so crucial to loving someone else. When all you do is give, give and give without filling yourself up first, you will eventually be empty inside. When you are empty inside, you have nothing else to give. When you have nothing else to give, all you are going to want is to receive. Wanting only to receive makes you unappealing energetically, making others not want to be around you.

Giving to others is beautiful but it is a must to remember that with the same intensity that you give to others, you must also give to yourself that same way. When you do, that’s when you will feel full. That’s when you don’t mind giving to others. That’s when you will be able to come from a place of sincere and genuine happiness. It is when you come from a place of genuine happiness when you can give pure love to others.

Loving someone means you do you FIRST. You first take care of your needs so that you can take care of other people’s need next. It means you put your well-being first, making sure that you are happy, making sure you are more than full so that you can share with others what you have.

Loving someone else means you are able to connect with yourself first. Before you can connect with someone else and even to be able to connect with someone else, the connection first must reside within you. When you are not connected with who you are, what you are all about, how you function, what works for you and what doesn’t work for you, there is no way you are able to connect with someone else. There is just no way. This is because when you are not connected with yourself, you have no idea of your needs and wants so you are unable to satisfy yourself first. This is when you may fall in the trap of wanting someone else to fulfill your needs and when others fail to do so, you may try extra hard to get that person to fulfill this need. In this case, it becomes a negative cycle that only feeds any negative feelings you may have.

As you can read, loving someone else does not mean that you are self-sacrificing, extremely loving, extreme giving to the point of you not having much left for yourself or anything that hurts your overall well-being. Loving someone else first means you love you, you love you despite anything and everything. It means you put yourself first because as you do, you take care of your needs which will enable you to be able to take care of other people’s needs. Love first comes from you. It comes from you taking care of you, loving you and respecting you. When you do this, you will be able to offer others a healthy kind of love which is very much needed in today’s world.

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