Well-being Requires Honesty

One may not think that honesty has anything to do with one’s well-being but it does. The honesty that I am writing about is not the honesty that comes from others…..it is the honesty that comes from your own self.

Honesty is not always an easy thing. Honesty requires a certain level of courage and strength that sometimes it’s hard to have, especially during times of vulnerability. Sometimes for our mental and emotional sanity it may seem better to lie to ourselves but I can guarantee you that this will only bite you in your behind sooner than later. No matter how hard the truth may be, how hard it is to admit certain things, it is to your own benefit to be honest with yourself.

What does it take to be honest with yourself? It takes first and foremost self-love. There will be times where you may strongly want or desire something that either isn’t for you or that plain “rejected” you and this may crush your self-esteem and question your self-worth. It is during these times when your self-love will be tested. No matter what it is that you want or love, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else. I will repeat, your self-love must come BEFORE anything or anyone else!

“Well, what does it take to have that self-love?” you may wonder. It takes being able to see your own value even when others don’t see it. It is YOU who determine your value. No material object, no person, no circumstance, no man or woman, absolutely nothing else determine your value but you. If you can’t see your own value, it is hard to be able to love yourself.

You seeing your worth and your self-love will give you the strength to be honest with yourself at all times. When you can learn to be honest with yourself, you will not accept situations or people who compromise in any way your well-being. For instance, and I can’t think of a better example than this, when you really love someone or like them but you know they don’t feel the same, it doesn’t matter what you feel for them, if they don’t feel the same for you, you MUST accept that and take your self-love, your heart, your valuables (valuables meaning what you have to offer mentally, emotionally and spiritually and your body) and go find someone who is crazy about you just as you are crazy about them. You can’t afford to accept breadcrumbs from no one. You can’t afford to be an option for someone. Honesty requires you face the truth even if the truth sucks. Honesty requires you to let go even when it hurts to let go.

When you fail to be honest with yourself, the truth somehow will hit you on the face. You can’t sustain for long something that was never yours or something that was a lie from the beginning. In the long run, that lie will hurt more than you facing the truth right from the beginning.

A life of joy and sustained happiness require that there be honesty in every area of your life first and foremost from yourself and then from others. When you fail to be honest with yourself, you tend to accept things that are not up to par with what you need and deserve.

You deserve to be truly happy. You deserve to know what you have in your life. You deserve to know that what you have is real in your life. You deserve genuine love from yourself and from others. You deserve to have a life where you love your reality in every way. This is what you deserve but in order to have that, you must be honesty with yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Don’t Use That Crutch

My wish for this new year is for you to start the new year with a bam. It is my wish that you have a great year and have the best well-being ever. However, in order to have this, mentally and emotionally you must be right. It is for this reason that I start of this year by suggesting you not to use that crutch.

Crutches are for when one has an injury and needs to use a crutch in order to lean on to move forward or move anywhere. That is the ONLY time you should be using a crutch. Other than that all you will be doing is making yourself more handicap by continuously using something that you no longer need.

The key phrase in the word “crutch” is to lean on. I emphasize this because that is what we sometimes do in life- we use things or others as crutches in order to move on, making ourselves handicap. I’ve said before and I will continuously say and write that the worse handicap is the one of the mind. I would like to add that another kind of handicap which is just as bad is being emotionally handicapped but this I will reserve for another post. Having things or others as crutches is terribly detrimental to your overall well-being and this is what I will be discussing.

Using others as crutches is detrimental to your mental and emotional well-being. It makes you a slave of that other person by attaching some sort of value to the other person that can sometimes undermine your own value. This can make you not realize your own potential, your own capacity to get certain things done and you hinder yourself from seeing how much power you have. It is also detrimental to the relationship. It hurts the relationship because by using someone as a crutch, you accidentally become like a leech, sucking the life out of the other person. This kind of behavior makes you push others away unintentionally. There needs to be balance in a relationship and in order for there to be a healthy relationship, two people need to be whole. A relationship where one is a crutch means one person is not whole.

Using things as crutches, again, it makes you a slave to those things. Part of achieving a great well-being is not having any attachment to things. The best and healthiest attachment to have is with oneself. Again, just like using someone as a crutch hinders you from seeing your own power, so does using things as crutches. It is important to know that no one can help you move forward if you don’t move forward yourself.

Crutches, the wrong crutches I would like to emphasize, rob you of your power. They hinder you from seeing what you are made up of. They mentally and emotionally make you handicapped. In order to be whole you must release those crutches that you have been holding on to and know that it is YOU who makes your life happen.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez

Are You a Liability to Yourself?

Many times we don’t have the life that we want, we don’t feel as great as we are capable of feeling and we don’t reach our fullest potential not because we are not deserving of all the things that we want but because we are our own liability.

The meaning of liability is something that can cause a disadvantage. So with this said, when you are your own liability, you put yourself in a disadvantage in the sense that you yourself cause your own misfortunes, your own failures, your disappointments, etc.

You are probably wondering “how so?”. Well, there are many ways to be your own liability. You can do this through your own beliefs. If you deep down inside don’t believe you are worthy, don’t think you are enough, don’t think that you are capable, these beliefs hinder you of the very thing that you want. This is something to be dealt with ASAP since not dealing with one’s own beliefs can keep recreating what it is that you don’t want.

You do this through your thoughts, whether these are thoughts about yourself or thoughts about your life. This can kind of be related to your beliefs but with thoughts, think about what it is that you think on a daily basis. Your thoughts do influence your emotions.

You can be your own liability by the things that you allow in your life. What kind of messages are you allowing in? What kind of relationships are you allowing in your life? What kind of environments are you choosing to be a part of? What kind of labels are you allowing? You can truly become what you allow.

What kind of shape are you emotionally? We are driven by our emotions. We make decisions based on our emotions. When emotionally we are not right, we won’t have the capacity to make decisions with clarity. When emotionally we are not right, we open the doors to bad things to come into our life.

When you come to the realization that you are your own liability, it is a must to get help. Sometimes it is hard to do this on our own and that is when it is a must to reach out to someone who can help. This is for your own good as well as the good of your own well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

What Does It Mean to Be Truly Healthy?

I want to finish off what I wrote last week but this time write about the question that I had in mind for quite some time which is “what does it mean to be truly healthy?” and I think there are several things to this.

First, I feel the need to add that being truly healthy, at least in my opinion, doesn’t mean the absence of illness. The reason for this is because there are other forms of being unhealthy that goes beyond the physical ailments. With this in mind, it is important to not judge another person with any physical impairment or ailment. It also doesn’t mean the absence of any sadness or mental ailment. I think nowadays it is easier than ever before to be more emotionally and mentally stressed which can lead us to more mental ailments. With the right amount, anyone is susceptible to feeling depressed or having a mental ailment.

Being fully healthy is making the most of what you have. That means that even if you have a physical ailment, you learn to manage, treat or work around it. You don’t use your physical ailment or impairment as an excuse to not live your life fully. You don’t allow it to stop you from fully expressing yourself. As long as your spirit isn’t handicapped, you still have so much in you to strive for.

Being fully healthy means that no matter the size of your baggage, you take the time to open it up and leave out all that you no longer need. I am using the word “baggage” as a metaphor to mean any issues you may have. We all have issues and that’s only because we are human beings. No one is perfect. We all have had things happen to us that perhaps are unresolved but as adults, it is our responsibility to work on those issues. The reason why it is important to work on those issues is because those very issues can hinder us from living the life we truly want.

Being healthy means understanding your emotions whether they are positive or negative emotions. Understanding your emotions is one of the keys to understanding yourself. It is also important to know how to manage your emotions as well. It is crucial to know that it is only normal to have your ups and downs emotionally. You just want to watch out for those really lows that can hinder you from living your life.

Being truly healthy is more about knowing how to manage yourself. It is not about the absence of illness or being physically perfect when it comes to health. It is important to look at all aspects of your life in order to really say whether you are healthy or not because it could be that you are physically healthy but not healthy in another area of your life. With this I would like to encourage you that you take a close look at your overall life in order to see what area of your life could be healthy if not healthier.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Where Does Peace Start?

Peace, I would dare to say, is at the core of well-being. This is because without peace, you can’t be centered. Without peace, you can’t have balance. Without peace, you can’t make the right choices. Without peace, you make yourself vulnerable to feelings that can ruin any good in your life.

Peace is one of the pillars of well-being, so with this said, where does peace start? It starts with you first. Before peace can start in your home, before peace can start in any relationship, that peace needs to start first within you. This is because when you have peace within you, that is a peace that you carry with you no matter where you are, where you go, no matter any relationship you are in. When you have peace within you, that is something that you are able to take with you anywhere and you emanate everywhere.

Peace is not something that depends on others or something else although other people or things can contribute to that peace or can even try to take that peace away. Ultimately it is you who dictates whether or not that is something that you will have in your life. It is you who decides if you will let only things and people that contribute to that peace. This is because we are the ones who allow things and people into our life.

Where can one start to achieve peace? It starts with awareness. Awareness of the self is essential to one’s well-being. You achieve peace when you know who you truly are, when you understand what triggers certain emotions so that you can then steer yourself towards the direction in life that you want to take. It starts with understanding that it is you who create your life, it is you who decides what you will feel, it is you who decides whether you will let in goodness, that it is the relationship with yourself that matters most. It starts with working on any issues that you may have so that you can then be fully open to goodness. No one else can do this for you. No one else can do the work for you. No one else can give you the love that you can only give yourself. Yes, other people can contribute to that happiness, other people can add to your peace but no one can fully make you happy, no one can fully give you peace. That ultimately starts with you.

I would like to encourage you with today’s post to do only things that give you peace, to always strive to have peace within you and anything that takes away from that peace, rather than running away from it, try to find out what is it about it that takes your peace away. It is that self awareness the key to your happiness and peace that you need.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Greatest Part of Endings

The ending is the beginning of something bigger and better. The ending is the closure of something that no longer serves you. There are things that come into your life just to serve a purpose. This includes opportunities and people. Sometimes we have the tendency to extend the life of something that no longer has a life. What I mean with this is that sometimes there are things and people that we hold on to that we need to let go because its purpose was already served. There are people and opportunities that are meant to be for a lifetime but trust that you will know the difference.

And what is that difference? When it comes to people, even during turbulent moments, you still are able to endure. No relationship is perfect and in every relationship there will be differences. It is not the turbulent moments nor the differences that define the quality of the relationships nor how long it will last- it is how those turbulent moments and differences are handled that marks the difference.

When it comes to opportunities, you will feel and it will be evident that its expiration date is arriving soon. Somehow things don’t flow or go right, there is one problem after another or somehow that opportunity may seem small for what you want or are yet to be.

Being able to recognize these things are so crucial to your well-being because this will help you avoid unnecessary suffering. When you are able to recognize whether someone is a person for a lifetime (and with this I also include friendships, not just romantic relationships) and when you’re able to recognize whether an opportunity is a lifetime one, suddenly the ending won’t feel like a loss, rather it will feel like a gain because in essence it is a gain. It is a gain because you’re moving forward. It is a gain because you’re growing. It is a gain because those things are moving out of the way to make way for other things that do belong in your life.

It is important for your well-being to know and remember that not everything that comes into your life are meant to be a lifetime and that’s ok. Remembering and knowing this will help alleviate some unnecessary sadness and suffering that can hinder you from seeing and receiving the goodness that are yet to come.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

One Killer to Great Relationships and Great Life

There are many things that can kill great relationships and life but this week, I would like to write about one that seems to be so prevalent nowadays and that’s such a shame because this one masks great things into something that you would think you have to push away, it pushes away from you things and people that can add to your life as well as make you blind to your own mistake. This one thing is called pride/ego.

It’s important to have pride in oneself- pride in who we are, pride to not allow others to hurt us, pride to set boundaries of what is allowed in our personal space and what is not allowed, etc. However, there is a certain kind of pride that is hurtful to you and that’s the kind of pride that comes from your ego. The ego always seeks to protect itself. The ego is selfish. The ego doesn’t know any better and this is why our pride can’t come from the ego.

How does this pride/ego hurt your relationships and you from having a great life? Well, first off, one may ask what consists a great life. A great life is not just one where you are career wise prosperous or financially prosperous or even when physically you are “healthy”. It consists of so much more such as your mindset, your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, etc. It consists of having a balance in every area in your life or at least striving for balance. There will be moments where it will not be perfect, a great life is not about perfection. It is about having a healthy balance and having great relationships in life. In fact, relationships and this means any interaction that you have with others, is the basis to a great, healthy life! It is your relationships with others that grows you. It is your relationships with others that truly fulfill you.

How pride kills all this is that it blinds you from seeing things the way they are, it makes you ignore your inner being and what it is trying to tell you, it doesn’t allow you to see where you went wrong when something went wrong. It makes you blind, deaf, numb and all the things that you must not be in order to live a great life.

The way to combat this pride/ego is by being truly honest with yourself as to who you are, what you want, seeing your role in everything that happens and admit the role that you played in anything that happens. Think about the bigger picture. Being right at the cost of your relationships is not worth it. Keeping your pride because you don’t want to apologize for what you did wrong makes you lose. It makes you lose the potential of great people in your life. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are wrong, in fact, that makes you strong. There is nothing wrong with caring because it makes you human.

If you truly care about having a great life, start investing in good relationships- good friends, cultivating your relationship with someone you love, loving your spouse, telling the person that you care that you actually care, etc. Don’t let pride/ego get in the way of your relationships or in the way of you allowing something that can be great from happening. I think if most of us did that, we wouldn’t live in such confusion or hurt.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.