The Difference Between Deserving and Entitlement

Last week I wrote about the topic of deserving and I continued to explain how you are deserving of anything that you need and want. I wrote that when it comes to deserving, what really determines this is how you think and feel about what you deserve and this is closely tied to your self-concept and self-esteem. Because of this tie, this definitely has an effect on your overall well-being. However, there is a fine line and it is important to notice the fine line. This fine line is the feeling of entitlement which is the opposite from deserving and it comes from a different place than deserving does. Feeling a sense of entitlement is not beneficial at all to your well-being nor the well-being of others and this is what I will be writing today.

Deserving comes from a place of having a healthy and balanced self-esteem. It comes from knowing that you are a lovable person with so much to offer to this world and that being the unique human being that you are makes you valuable already. Entitlement comes from the ego, it comes from a place of insecurity, from a place of egotism and all this weakens you as a person. How so? There is no way you are in control of yourself when you are letting your ego rule you. I did a Google search on the definition of “entitlement” and I think this definition clues us in to the difference between deserving and entitlement. According to Google “entitlement” means “the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment”. There is your clue-“privileges and special treatment“. You are deserving of good things but it is not healthy to think that you deserve special treatment in comparison to others.

How does feeling entitled hurt your well-being as well as others? Think about this, we are all inherently selfish. This isn’t necessarily bad, but we are that way. We always look at others for what we can get from them. This can be both good and bad, it all depends. Because of this fact, a person that feels entitled may act in ways that are not nice towards others, they may behave as if they are better than others and at the end of the day, who wants to be with someone like that?! This kind of thinking and behaving affects your social well-being.

In this world we are meant to help one another and grow each other. Being a person who feels entitled doesn’t allow you to give much to others because all you can think of is me, me, me. That can cloud you from your sense of purpose. That can prevent you from living a meaningful life because part of having a meaningful life is having a purposeful life. Also, a person who feels entitled doesn’t have much beautiful words to say to others. Even in the most minor way, you do have an effect on others. Why not make that effect a good one?

Entitlement can make you become intolerant of others. How so? Well, when you feel entitlement, because you are coming from a place of me, me, me, you don’t have the empathy to understand others. A perfect example of this is when someone who goes to the restaurant acting as if he/she is the only customer the waiter is serving. A person who feels entitled would be so impatient and even act mean towards the waiter if he/she feels they took long.

Deserving and entitlement….there is a fine line between the two because on the one hand you are deserving of great things in life but it is important to keep that deserving in check so that you don’t cross that line to entitlement. Never think of yourself as better or more deserving than others because that is not so. Other people are just as important as you are regardless of their economic status, of their physical condition, of the ethnicity, etc. If you somehow find yourself crossing that line, for your well-being as well as the well-being of others, get back to knowing that you are deserving and feel grateful for the blessings that you have.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

What Do You Think/Feel You Deserve?

Today I would like to write about deserving and what does it take to be deserving of anything. I’m going to start off by asking you, what do you think/feel you deserve? That’s right, this is this week’s question and I ask you to take a deep look within to know your answer.

The reason why it is important to know what you think and feel you deserve is because this has a strong correlation with your overall well-being. How so? Whatever you feel or think you deserve is what you will get. So if you think and feel that all you deserve is mistreatment from others, then guess what, that’s exactly what you will get. If instead you know, think and feel that you deserve love and respect, you will get just that. Your overall well-being whether you realize it or not, is a reflection of what you think and feel you deserve. When you know you deserve better, you don’t accept anything less. This is why the topic of deserving can not be left out when it comes to your well-being.

So with all this said, what does it take to be deserving of anything? It is your birthright to be loved, receive love, give love, be healthy, be happy, be wealthy, etc. So it is not a matter of whether there is something that you must be in order to be deserving but it does take you believing with your heart and mind that you are deserving of anything that you want. The most important element here is YOU. This whole act of deserving has nothing to do with your parents, with your friends, with what others think and all to do with how you think and feel about yourself. If you don’t feel deserving, it is important that you work on your self-concept and self-esteem. There is no way around it. This is necessary work for your overall well-being.

Deserving or not deserving….that may seem to be the question but that question is only in your head because you were and always will be deserving of the things that you want. It is a matter of what you think/feel you deserve. So with this, I encourage to start knowing with your mind and heart that you are deserving of all that you want and need.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Think About Something Else

Some of you may know that my family and I are going through a difficult moment with my dad’s health. Today I spent the day with my mom and had to convince her, literally force her, not to go to the hospital to see my dad since seeing the state in which my dad is in is too hard for her. This was my suggestion since she is every single day by his side without taking care of herself the way she should which is not healthy for her. During the day it was tempting to speak about my dad and I had to remind her to think about something else. I am happy to know that this helped and this is what I would like to encourage you to do in today’s post if you are going through a rough time.

Indeed it is very tempting to think about the very thing that makes you sad, however, this is not beneficial for you in any way. Constantly thinking about what hurts you or makes you sad will make you spiral down, hurting your well-being in every way. In the end, you are of no good to yourself nor to others.

Thinking about something else isn’t about making believe that the problem or what hurts you isn’t there. Instead, it is about restoring your mental and emotional sanity so that you don’t start heading towards the negative path. And what is that negative path? It’s the negative path of feeling depressed, of being mentally clouded, feeling hopelessness, thinking and feeling that things are coming to an end, etc. These are path of destruction which leads you to a dead end street. It doesn’t serve you. In life, in order for you to solve problems and get things done you need strength and clarity and being on the negative path robs you of both these things.

How can you think about something else? Either listen to a music that makes you feel really good, talk to a really good friend that you trust, read the bible if that helps you, meditate, watch a funny movie, anything that works for you. Do your best to avoid talking about the topic that hurts you. Do your best not to look at things that reminds you of what hurts you. Again, this is not about you making believe that the problem or what hurts you isn’t there, this is about restoring your mental and emotional sanity. Wherever your mind goes, the emotions follow and wherever the emotions go, the body follows. You want to avoid creating a negative domino effect that takes a long time to repair. Also remember that the way you live your life affects others as well so take that into consideration when you feel really sad.

It is only normal to go through a rough time every so often in life. That’s because it’s life. What is important is how you deal with the rough times and one good way is to remind yourself every so often to think about something else. Doing so will help preserve your mental and emotional sanity, contributing to more well-being not just for yourself but for others as well.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Can Only Control Your Choices…

There are times where one may wish to control what someone else does or thinks. This can most certainly apply when it comes to something or someone that we really want or like or even care about. Whether it is someone that you have romantic feelings for, an action that you wish a loved one would make or any business decision someone else has to make, you can only control the choices that YOU make.

How can having this simple fact ingrained in you help you with your well-being? Well, I learned the hard way that unless I let go of the fact that I can not control how others will react nor what choices they will make, I will never be happy. It’s as simple as that. I know so well that this is easier said than done, trust me I know and I have been so hardheaded for so long to realize this. The truth is that when you realize that you can not control other people’s choices other than your own, you become a much happier person.

Understanding with your mind and your heart this simple fact will help you relinquish control of how things in your life goes. You will feel how that sense of heaviness gets lifted from you because indeed you are letting go of something that you have no business carrying around with you. When you carry around the burden of wanting to control what goes on around you and what others do, you are carrying an unnecessary baggage that just holds you back in life. Sometimes to enjoy life, this requires that you just let go of how others will react or what choices they will make with regards to things. With this I am by no means writing that you shouldn’t care about what others do or say or anything along these lines. What I am encouraging is that you don’t try to control what others do or think in regards to any situation that may involve you. For example, when it comes to love (I mention love here because this is a touching subject for most of us), you only have control over how you feel and react. For as much as you may care about the other person, for as much as you may want to be with that person, for as much as you may want to work things out or want the other person to see the value in you, unfortunately you don’t have total control over this. All you can do is just be your best you and let go of the outcome.

One of the main reasons why it is important for you to know that you can only control your choices and not other people’s choices is because this helps you let go of the outcome. In other words, you don’t get so attached to the outcome of whatever situation. This helps you greatly not to take things personal, not to be so hurt by what happened and you are actually freeing yourself. Part of well-being is having a sense of freedom and freedom goes beyond the financial aspect, (I can discuss this on another post).

For now, I encourage you for your well-being, in order to spare yourself from more hurt, headaches, heartaches, disappointments, remember that you can only control your choices.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.