The Ingredients For Healthy Relationships

I had a conversation a few days ago with a good friend of mine and we were talking about what makes a healthy relationship. It seems as though nowadays there is so much confusion about how one needs to be, how to properly communicate and there is so many question marks on people’s mind and all this is so unnecessary. So today’s post will be about the ingredients for healthy relationships because relationships do play an important role on our well-being.

You need healthy relationships and this includes your relationship with your family and friends and in romantic relationships. All the ingredients discussed in this post apply to all kinds of relationships.

First ingredient is maturity. It takes maturity to have a healthy relationship. Before I write what I mean with “maturity”, I will first write what teenagers do that adults should be way passed that stage. Teenagers or people who are not mature enough just text important discussions. This is a big no no because so much can be misunderstood through texts. Texting important discussions is a way to avoid what is going on and only teenagers or immature people do that. Mature people have either face to face or over the phone discussions. Why? Because it is important to confront situations head on in order to gain clarity and avoid hard feelings. Teenagers and immature people blame rather than understand their role in the situation. It takes maturity to admit that you too played a role in what happened in a situation and to take ownership for how the relationship goes. So what I mean with maturity is that one puts aside childish ways in order to be a grown adult. You can’t have healthy relationships with childish ways.

Second ingredient is communication. Healthy relationships require effective communication. This includes saying how one feels and listening to the other person. When I write “listen”, I don’t mean “hear”. Hearing is the mechanical aspect of what the ears do. Listening requires you to put aside what you are feeling and thinking and try to understand what the other person is saying so you can understand where they are coming from. It’s important to state clearly how you feel and what your intentions are. It’s important to be straight forward. It’s important as we get older to always make it a goal to be better in communication.

Third ingredient is honesty. Healthy relationships require that both parties are first and foremost honest with themselves and then with others. Honesty may not always be easy. It’s easy to want to lie to oneself for whatever the reason may be, either because of fear of the outcome, beliefs that we have told ourselves, etc. For two people to be on the same page, it is a must to first be honest with yourself and then with others. You deserve your own honesty and others deserve your honesty as well. Many friendships and relationships are severed because of this.

Fourth ingredient is confrontation. Healthy relationships confront with one another. It is unfortunate that the word “confrontation” has such a negative connotation but the reality is that how are two people supposed to be on the same page if they don’t confront?! Confrontation simply means two or more people coming together to discuss something. This requires maturity which is why I listed maturity as the first ingredient.

I’m sure there are more things that are required in order to have healthy relationships but for the sake of this blog, I am only including four of the ingredients that I consider to be the main ingredients for a healthy relationship.

If there is any relationship that you care about that you feel is not as healthy as you need it to be, I would like to encourage you to consider if any of these ingredients mentioned in today’s post is lacking and do your part to include this into that relationship. It takes all parties involved to make a healthy relationship, this means that this includes you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Fine Line Between Caring About What Others Think and Feel Vs. Not Caring

Since on my last post I discussed how in order to be authentic you have to be true to who you are and this will also mean that you can not care about what others think and feel, then you may wonder whether or not there is a fine line between caring about what others think and feel vs. not caring and to what degree should we care or not care and this is exactly what this post will be about.

First I want to discuss the “not caring part”. The reason why you shouldn’t care so much is because at the end of the day, no one else is living your life for you. No one else has to carry the consequences of your actions. No one else can do anything for you. Others can be a sense of support for you but no amount of support will matter if you are not the first one to support yourself. No amount of love from others will matter if you first don’t love yourself. No amount of any investment that others can do in you will matter if you first don’t invest in yourself. In other words, everything, absolutely EVERYTHING in your life starts with you. YOU are the one that matters most in YOUR life. When it comes to YOUR life, it is you who has to live with you for the rest of your life. Concerning yourself too much with what others will think and feel will hinder you, it will cripple you and prevent you from your own growth. This is because no one truly has the answers to your life. This is because other people may have their own insecurities that they may project on to you. This is because other people may be limited and this limitation includes that they may be mentally limited due to their own ignorance or limiting beliefs. They may be limited emotionally in the sense that they may not believe something is possible when you in your heart know it is. Whatever it may be, other people will always be limited because they are not you to know what you truly need and want.

Now, just because I write that you shouldn’t care about what others think and feel doesn’t mean that this is not a license to disregard other people’s feelings and thoughts and act in a careless manner. Not at all! To a certain degree you have to care because we all influence each other. You matter to someone and what you say and do has an influence on someone else. Even though other people’s happiness is not your responsibility, it is their responsibility, you can add to other people’s well-being by being a sense of joy to them. I think we come into this world to add to other people’s life in tremendous ways, it’s just a matter of us seeing that. It is in this sense that what others think and feel should matter. If your words and actions are going to hurt others, then it has to matter! If what you are going to say or do will add joy to others, then it has to matter! Everything and anything that you do has to come from a place where you are full and good. We have to be real and honest to know that we are not always going to be our best selves. We are only human. However, care about what others think or feel to the degree that you add joy and greatness to others. Not the opposite.

There is a fine line between caring about what others think and feel vs. not caring and that line is where is this caring coming from. Is it coming from a place of insecurity about yourself or is it coming from a genuineness of adding rather than depleting from others? THAT is the fine line. When this caring is coming from a place of insecurity, then you need to value more what you think and feel rather than others. When it comes from a genuine place of adding to others rather than depleting, then that’s when it should matter. Mastering this fine line is a must for your well-being.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.