Choose People Willing to Do the Inner Work

In today’s post, I want to discuss the importance of choosing people willing to do the inner work.

Healthy relationships start with you. When I write the word “relationships”, I mean any close interaction you have with another human being so this includes friendships, family members, and romantic relationships. How and why does a healthy relationship start with you? Because first you have to be right with you. You have to love yourself. You have to love life. You have to see your own potential. You have to see your own beauty. You have to see your own value. You need to be willing to do your inner work. Once all this is in place, then you choose based on that.

So say for example, if you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, without realizing it, you most likely will choose people that they are unhealthy themselves. A person with an unhealthy relationship with themselves won’t be able to choose people that are right for them either because deep down inside they don’t feel deserving of healthy love, etc. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you are quick to notice when something isn’t right for you and you let it go. This is why it is crucial that you are right with you first.

Just as it is important that you do your inner work, it is important that you choose people willing to do the inner work themselves. This is because people who are not right with themselves don’t have much to offer. We can only offer what we have. So someone who is afraid to make certain decisions and is afraid of happiness will only give fear to you. This means that if you try to engage in a relationship with them, they will confuse you to death because their actions will be that they will push you away or do something that turns you off, etc.

It is only when you are clear in who you are, what you want, on your value and what you deserve that you will get what you want and more. It is then when you can engage in healthy relationships with others, when you can feel great about your life, then attracting more great things into your life and have more to offer to others.

You can tell when someone is willing to do the inner work. How can you tell? Well, let me start off by stating the signs of someone not willing to do the inner work. The first sign is that they live in fear. They are afraid to be happy so they push people away. They have commitment issues that they are not willing to resolve. They are very judgmental of others for silly things. They always find fault in others. They choose to be in relationships or situations that don’t make them happy. They constantly talk about problems. You feel heaviness the moment you are with them. The list can go on. The point is that you end up wondering what happened, is there something wrong with you, your energy shifts for the worse and so on. None of this is good!

Doing the inner work requires one to be willing to look within themselves and work through any issues they may have. It requires one to challenge their limiting beliefs. It requires seeking help should one need help. It requires to notice the patterns in the choices one makes and then be willing to take responsibility for the role they played. Doing the inner work is not easy because of all the emotions that will resurface but it is necessary in order to uncover the things that are holding you back.

Be willing to choose people who are willing to do the inner work because doing so will lead to healthy relationships in which you yourself can blossom as a person. Because you deserve to be loved exactly for who you are; because you deserve to be fully happy; because you deserve a great life, you need to be the first one to be willing to do the inner work so you can then choose someone willing to do the same. You owe this to yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Who You Are and How You Live Matters!

If at any moment in your life you felt that who you are and how your live your life doesn’t matter or if you know anyone who may feel this way, then this is the post to read. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that who you are doesn’t matter. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that how you live your life doesn’t matter because it does!

Whether you realize it or not, you impact others. I am pretty sure you have friends and family. Even if you don’t have much friends, you still impact those you do have. Everything we do and say set an example to others. There are people who look up to you and love you. There are people who are concern for you. And certainly the world needs you!

It doesn’t matter how you look nor how you are. It doesn’t matter what your tastes are. It doesn’t matter what you are good at and what you are not good at, all the things that make up who you are make you unique and you were created this way because someone else needs you exactly the way you are. How do they need you? It depends, people can need you in different ways. Perhaps you are meant to set an example for others. Perhaps you are meant to greatly influence others. Perhaps you are meant to inspire others. Whatever those reasons are, you are created with a purpose.

One thing I want to add is that you will be rejected by others. Why do I need to write this? Because rejection is one of the reasons why some may feel inadequate because none of us like rejection. However, if we can reframe that rejection into something else, we will see the beauty in that rejection. As a matter of fact, I want to encourage you to embrace rejection. That’s right! Gosh rejection is beautiful! You don’t want everything and anything that comes your way! It’s important to make room for more wonderful things and people in your life. This is why rejection is so beautiful- it makes room for better people and better opportunities!

When you are true to who you are and when you live your life fully according to the real you, you are actually giving others permission to do the same. That’s right! This is because it is so refreshing to be around people who are true to themselves and there is something about us living fully that resonates with others. That’s because all of us by nature crave to live fully and crave to be our true selves without caring about what others think nor feel. Living your life fully gives others freedom- the freedom to do the same and the freedom to not have to worry about you.

Since I wrote “the freedom to not have to worry about you”, I need to emphasize that not living your life fully and not being who you truly are, you are actually being a burden to others. That burden that you place on them without realizing will make others want to be away from you because indeed it is not freeing to be around someone who is negative towards themselves and not helping themselves.

I want to encourage you to know that who you are and how you live your life matters. Remember that it doesn’t matter who you are, what you do for a living, how many friends you have (it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality), if you are currently single or married, etc., you do influence others. Your life has an impact on others that creates ripple effects. To not think this, I believe, is very selfish from your part because you are not considering how your actions nor who you are affect others and you are denying others of the gift of you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Ingredients For Healthy Relationships

I had a conversation a few days ago with a good friend of mine and we were talking about what makes a healthy relationship. It seems as though nowadays there is so much confusion about how one needs to be, how to properly communicate and there is so many question marks on people’s mind and all this is so unnecessary. So today’s post will be about the ingredients for healthy relationships because relationships do play an important role on our well-being.

You need healthy relationships and this includes your relationship with your family and friends and in romantic relationships. All the ingredients discussed in this post apply to all kinds of relationships.

First ingredient is maturity. It takes maturity to have a healthy relationship. Before I write what I mean with “maturity”, I will first write what teenagers do that adults should be way passed that stage. Teenagers or people who are not mature enough just text important discussions. This is a big no no because so much can be misunderstood through texts. Texting important discussions is a way to avoid what is going on and only teenagers or immature people do that. Mature people have either face to face or over the phone discussions. Why? Because it is important to confront situations head on in order to gain clarity and avoid hard feelings. Teenagers and immature people blame rather than understand their role in the situation. It takes maturity to admit that you too played a role in what happened in a situation and to take ownership for how the relationship goes. So what I mean with maturity is that one puts aside childish ways in order to be a grown adult. You can’t have healthy relationships with childish ways.

Second ingredient is communication. Healthy relationships require effective communication. This includes saying how one feels and listening to the other person. When I write “listen”, I don’t mean “hear”. Hearing is the mechanical aspect of what the ears do. Listening requires you to put aside what you are feeling and thinking and try to understand what the other person is saying so you can understand where they are coming from. It’s important to state clearly how you feel and what your intentions are. It’s important to be straight forward. It’s important as we get older to always make it a goal to be better in communication.

Third ingredient is honesty. Healthy relationships require that both parties are first and foremost honest with themselves and then with others. Honesty may not always be easy. It’s easy to want to lie to oneself for whatever the reason may be, either because of fear of the outcome, beliefs that we have told ourselves, etc. For two people to be on the same page, it is a must to first be honest with yourself and then with others. You deserve your own honesty and others deserve your honesty as well. Many friendships and relationships are severed because of this.

Fourth ingredient is confrontation. Healthy relationships confront with one another. It is unfortunate that the word “confrontation” has such a negative connotation but the reality is that how are two people supposed to be on the same page if they don’t confront?! Confrontation simply means two or more people coming together to discuss something. This requires maturity which is why I listed maturity as the first ingredient.

I’m sure there are more things that are required in order to have healthy relationships but for the sake of this blog, I am only including four of the ingredients that I consider to be the main ingredients for a healthy relationship.

If there is any relationship that you care about that you feel is not as healthy as you need it to be, I would like to encourage you to consider if any of these ingredients mentioned in today’s post is lacking and do your part to include this into that relationship. It takes all parties involved to make a healthy relationship, this means that this includes you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Things That Held You Back

Some people may look back and realize that there were several things that held them back. Perhaps those things were the people around them, perhaps their environment, their childhood, their limiting beliefs, etc. and for some, the very thought of these things holding them back keeps holding them back.

The one thing you can never recuperate is time. Once time is gone, it’s gone. However, you still have more time ahead of you. The longer you keep looking back at the things that held you back, the more held back you will be. The things that once held you back don’t need to continue holding you back.

If you are held back for whatever reason, I want you to seriously consider the fact that perhaps it is you who is holding you back. Why do I dare you to consider this? Because the reality is that you can NOT control what others do. You can NOT control how others think. NO ONE has power over you. NO ONE can define you. NO ONE, unless you grant them permission, can do anything in your life.

I want to briefly discuss about childhood and this is one that is difficult to talk about since I know for some there were probably serious childhood issues. Once you become an adult, YOU have the choice as to whether or not you are going to continue to allow what happened to you to affect you. If you realize that the issues are too deep that you can’t handle them alone, then go seek a therapist or a psychologist. Get the help you need but don’t continue to allow your past to affect you in negative ways.

I want to briefly discuss limiting beliefs. It is a must to find the source of the limiting beliefs. You may be surprised to learn that the limiting belief you may have is someone else’s beliefs and you just internalized it as your own belief. It is important to challenge your beliefs if you are to grow into the person that you are meant to be.

I want to briefly discuss your environment. You don’t have to be your environment. If your environment isn’t congruent with the person that you are, that doesn’t mean that who you really are is wrong. Just like not all trees can grow in the same environment, we all can’t grow in the same environment. Know that you are much more than your environment if your environment is not a reflection of you. Also know that just because you are not like your environment, that doesn’t make you wrong. That just means that you are you and that’s it. There is nothing wrong with that.

The last thing I want to briefly discuss is people. What people think or say about you is none of your business. Your business is YOU and that’s it. Once again, you can’t control what other people do. You can’t control how other people think. People can only hold you back if you allow them to hold you back. Also people’s complexes and criticisms are non of your business. What other people decide to do with their life you can not control. The only person you can control is yourself so start to control yourself so that you can have the life that you want.

It is a must to control your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, your actions and what you allow in your life. Remember that nothing needs to hold you back unless you ALLOW it to hold you back. This is the key word- allow. Remember that you are the only one who can allow things to hold you back.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

Organization Is a Must For Your Well-being

Try writing speeches, blogs, working on several projects at once among other things and on top of that being jet lagged and what do you get? Overwhelm! That’s what you get. This has been me lately, I confess. As human beings there is only so much that we can do and although we are capable of so much, we must be realistic about our time and energy. I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again. I came to the realization in such a hard way that organization is a must for your well-being.

Being organized helps avoid overwhelm. It is ok to want to do more but you must be organized with what you have to do. So I would like to encourage you to find a way that works for you. Now, this may take time because you may have to try different things before you find what works for you but if you haven’t found a way, don’t give up. Things do take time to adjust and it does take time to find a way that works but trust that you will find that way.

Being organized is what will allow you to get as much done as possible. It is a must to be organized with your time, your energy and your resources. This means that if you are doing one thing, just focus for some time on that one thing before you start doing another thing. For that time slot, you focus your energy as well on that one thing. Focusing your energy on several things at once will not allow you to get anything done.

Being organized allows you to prioritize. It is important to organize yourself mentally in terms of knowing what goes first. Determine what is one thing that if you can get that thing done, it would resolve other things as well. Whatever that is, do that first and once that is done, then work on the next thing.

Being organized diminishes your stress. This doesn’t mean that it will eliminate your stress, I don’t think stress was meant to be eliminated completely since it does serve a purpose but being organized certainly can help decrease it.  Place things in one spot and place it there always, that way you will know where to find it. Have your documents of the same subject stacked together where you can find it. Be organized in your own space so you can feel like you can breathe. Pick out the clothing you will wear the day before. Make sure you leave your house with enough time so that way you are not rushing to get to wherever it is that you have to go. All this is part of being organized.

The reason why I mention being organized in this post is because many of our stresses does come from the fact that we are not organized in our life. We are not organized with our thoughts, our time, our space, our projects, etc. and when this is the case, we actually add unnecessary stress. The more organized you are, the more you accomplish, the better you feel and you can enjoy life more. If you are not organized in an area of your life, I encourage you to do so now for your own well-being.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

The Different Ways of Being Healthy

I think we all know it’s important to be physically healthy. This is the most visible part of us, making it obvious the kind of lifestyle we have. For as much as taking care of our physical body is important, there are other ways to be healthy that are equally important if not even more since when these parts of us are not healthy, the physical body will suffer as well. It is important to be healthy mentally and emotionally and this is what this post will be about.

First I would like to discuss how can you know when you are not healthy mentally and emotionally. One of the most simple ways is by looking around you. Does your life reflect what you deserve? What kind of relationships do you have with others? What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Do you have any kind of destructive, unhealthy relationship in your life? How are you feeling most of the time? All these questions are indicators as to how is your mental and emotional state.

In other words, if you block out your own happiness, if you are living in fear, if you are being pessimistic, if you push away good things or people, if you live in the past and it is a hurtful past, if you allow negativity, then you are unhealthy mentally and emotionally.

What many may not realize is that for as much as one may want to put a band-aid on a huge wound or ignore the real problems in their life, one can NEVER reach full happiness. Full happiness comes from dealing with your issues when your issues are preventing good in your life. Yes, it is hard to open that luggage and go through everything and throw away what is not serving you but that’s when you have to ask yourself if it’s serving you to carry such a heavy luggage to begin with.

What does it mean to be healthy mentally and emotionally? It means to feel good about yourself and your life, to accept abundance, to accept and let in happiness, to know you are deserving, to know that you deserve to be loved right by others, to allow people who help you grow and who truly love you. It is mentally having the capacity to do away with things, situations and people who don’t serve you. It is being able to not stress what doesn’t matter. It is being able to focus more on the positive than the negative. It is doing whatever possible to develop mental and emotional agility in order to bounce right back from any disappointment. Being emotionally healthy is being able to love yourself even when others may not love you, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes and being able to accept yourself even when others may not accept you. It is you loving yourself more than anyone else. This act of love is a must since it is this kind of love that will prevent you from allowing situations, things or people who don’t make you feel good.

Being physically healthy indeed is very important but one can not forget how extremely important it is to be healthy also mentally and emotionally. When mentally and emotionally you are not right, there is no way to be right physically as well since all three parts are connected. If you feel your life isn’t the way you want it to be, I encourage you to look into these two parts of you and if you need intervention, by all means go see a psychologist or therapist. This is an investment that you are making in yourself and you are worth the investment. Your mind and emotions are assets to be taking care of, so make sure you do what you can to have these parts of you healthy.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Failing Your Courses?

Have you ever noticed that you get the same experience over and over again, just with different people or even different circumstances? Sometimes these experiences are not even pleasant experiences. In situations like these, it is easy to believe that one may be cursed or just have bad luck or perhaps one is a magnet to those things. Have you ever considered that most likely this is occurring because you are actually failing your courses?

Yes, many times we fail many courses- the courses of life. You will forever be a student in the school called Life where every person you meet, every experience, every disappointment, every failure are your teachers. Many of them are great teachers, it’s just a matter of perspective.

I learned the hard way that indeed people do reflect the way we feel about ourselves. How so? Well, if you meet someone who mistreats you and you allow it, that person is teaching you that you need to learn to love yourself. The key phrase in the previous sentence is “you allow it”. This is because you don’t have to be a bad person for bad people to come into your life. Whether you have a good heart or not, you may encounter some people who are not nice, this is not a reflection of you at all. What DOES become a reflection of you is when you ALLOW them to treat you in a way you don’t deserve.

A bad experience can be a huge blessing and a preparation for bigger things that are yet to come. If an experience didn’t go the way you expected or hoped, you learning to see what went wrong and what you could have done different can help you understand what to do better the next time. When you think about what went wrong and what you could have done different, it is important that you do this without any judgement towards yourself. This is important because otherwise analyzing what went wrong and what you could have done differently can backfire you. It backfires you because you end up being hard on yourself.

A disappoint can be a real eye opener. It’s awful to go on in life with blindfolds on, not seeing what is in front of you. A disappointment prepares you for a bigger task and a bigger responsibility that may lie ahead. This is why disappointments can be true blessings.

A person you meet can teach you something you needed to learn or they can tell you something you needed to hear. Even someone that gets you on your nerves is teaching you something whether that be patience, how to mold yourself, teaching you to become more tough, etc. So learn to view even those you can’t stand as blessings because they too serve a purpose in your life. That is part of developing that mental and emotional agility that you need in life.

A failure shows you what went wrong and what to do differently next time. Failures are nothing to be ashamed of since they are a necessary component to life. Without it, you can’t learn to be humble, you don’t learn different ways of thinking or doing things and you just can’t grow as a person.

Once you learn a lesson, you will notice that life will test you to see if you passed the test. How do these tests look like? Well, the same situation will most likely come back again and that is the time to show what you have learned. Once you pass the test, you will notice that you won’t be repeating the same people nor scenario because you truly have learned your lesson.

You will always be given lessons and well, if you don’t learn the lesson right and pass the test, you will just be repeating the same course, over and over again with different people, different circumstances but the result is the same. So I encourage you to think about the following: what is one lesson that you are being pushed to learn? Are you meeting the same kinds of people over and over again? If so, what are you meant to learn? In what ways do you still have to grow? I guarantee you that if you master the lesson and pass the test, you won’t find yourself repeating courses.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.