The Different Ways of Being Healthy

I think we all know it’s important to be physically healthy. This is the most visible part of us, making it obvious the kind of lifestyle we have. For as much as taking care of our physical body is important, there are other ways to be healthy that are equally important if not even more since when these parts of us are not healthy, the physical body will suffer as well. It is important to be healthy mentally and emotionally and this is what this post will be about.

First I would like to discuss how can you know when you are not healthy mentally and emotionally. One of the most simple ways is by looking around you. Does your life reflect what you deserve? What kind of relationships do you have with others? What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Do you have any kind of destructive, unhealthy relationship in your life? How are you feeling most of the time? All these questions are indicators as to how is your mental and emotional state.

In other words, if you block out your own happiness, if you are living in fear, if you are being pessimistic, if you push away good things or people, if you live in the past and it is a hurtful past, if you allow negativity, then you are unhealthy mentally and emotionally.

What many may not realize is that for as much as one may want to put a band-aid on a huge wound or ignore the real problems in their life, one can NEVER reach full happiness. Full happiness comes from dealing with your issues when your issues are preventing good in your life. Yes, it is hard to open that luggage and go through everything and throw away what is not serving you but that’s when you have to ask yourself if it’s serving you to carry such a heavy luggage to begin with.

What does it mean to be healthy mentally and emotionally? It means to feel good about yourself and your life, to accept abundance, to accept and let in happiness, to know you are deserving, to know that you deserve to be loved right by others, to allow people who help you grow and who truly love you. It is mentally having the capacity to do away with things, situations and people who don’t serve you. It is being able to not stress what doesn’t matter. It is being able to focus more on the positive than the negative. It is doing whatever possible to develop mental and emotional agility in order to bounce right back from any disappointment. Being emotionally healthy is being able to love yourself even when others may not love you, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes and being able to accept yourself even when others may not accept you. It is you loving yourself more than anyone else. This act of love is a must since it is this kind of love that will prevent you from allowing situations, things or people who don’t make you feel good.

Being physically healthy indeed is very important but one can not forget how extremely important it is to be healthy also mentally and emotionally. When mentally and emotionally you are not right, there is no way to be right physically as well since all three parts are connected. If you feel your life isn’t the way you want it to be, I encourage you to look into these two parts of you and if you need intervention, by all means go see a psychologist or therapist. This is an investment that you are making in yourself and you are worth the investment. Your mind and emotions are assets to be taking care of, so make sure you do what you can to have these parts of you healthy.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Are You Failing Your Courses?

Have you ever noticed that you get the same experience over and over again, just with different people or even different circumstances? Sometimes these experiences are not even pleasant experiences. In situations like these, it is easy to believe that one may be cursed or just have bad luck or perhaps one is a magnet to those things. Have you ever considered that most likely this is occurring because you are actually failing your courses?

Yes, many times we fail many courses- the courses of life. You will forever be a student in the school called Life where every person you meet, every experience, every disappointment, every failure are your teachers. Many of them are great teachers, it’s just a matter of perspective.

I learned the hard way that indeed people do reflect the way we feel about ourselves. How so? Well, if you meet someone who mistreats you and you allow it, that person is teaching you that you need to learn to love yourself. The key phrase in the previous sentence is “you allow it”. This is because you don’t have to be a bad person for bad people to come into your life. Whether you have a good heart or not, you may encounter some people who are not nice, this is not a reflection of you at all. What DOES become a reflection of you is when you ALLOW them to treat you in a way you don’t deserve.

A bad experience can be a huge blessing and a preparation for bigger things that are yet to come. If an experience didn’t go the way you expected or hoped, you learning to see what went wrong and what you could have done different can help you understand what to do better the next time. When you think about what went wrong and what you could have done different, it is important that you do this without any judgement towards yourself. This is important because otherwise analyzing what went wrong and what you could have done differently can backfire you. It backfires you because you end up being hard on yourself.

A disappoint can be a real eye opener. It’s awful to go on in life with blindfolds on, not seeing what is in front of you. A disappointment prepares you for a bigger task and a bigger responsibility that may lie ahead. This is why disappointments can be true blessings.

A person you meet can teach you something you needed to learn or they can tell you something you needed to hear. Even someone that gets you on your nerves is teaching you something whether that be patience, how to mold yourself, teaching you to become more tough, etc. So learn to view even those you can’t stand as blessings because they too serve a purpose in your life. That is part of developing that mental and emotional agility that you need in life.

A failure shows you what went wrong and what to do differently next time. Failures are nothing to be ashamed of since they are a necessary component to life. Without it, you can’t learn to be humble, you don’t learn different ways of thinking or doing things and you just can’t grow as a person.

Once you learn a lesson, you will notice that life will test you to see if you passed the test. How do these tests look like? Well, the same situation will most likely come back again and that is the time to show what you have learned. Once you pass the test, you will notice that you won’t be repeating the same people nor scenario because you truly have learned your lesson.

You will always be given lessons and well, if you don’t learn the lesson right and pass the test, you will just be repeating the same course, over and over again with different people, different circumstances but the result is the same. So I encourage you to think about the following: what is one lesson that you are being pushed to learn? Are you meeting the same kinds of people over and over again? If so, what are you meant to learn? In what ways do you still have to grow? I guarantee you that if you master the lesson and pass the test, you won’t find yourself repeating courses.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Interesting Concept of “Breadcrumbing”

I have been hearing and reading lately about the concept of breadcrumbing. For those who don’t know this concept, what this basically means is the act of a person just texting you without any commitment, no phone calls and not seeing each other in person just to keep you hanging. Now, this refers more to dating but when I think about this concept, I would dare to say this is also seen in other relationships that are not only romantic. We are starting to see this concept spill over to friendships as well. Because relationships are at the core of one’s well-being, I will be discussing how detrimental this is when you allow this into your life.

Relationships are necessary for our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. Without healthy relationships- let me put some emphasis on “healthy” because this is key- you will literally die while living in the sense that it is love that nurtures us. Healthy love. Once again, the key word is “healthy”.

So what does a healthy relationship look like? Healthy relationships are corresponded, meaning that you both want each other in your life, you both want each other’s company, you both reciprocate affection and effort. Let me repeat, you both reciprocate effort. What I mean with “effort” is that you both take the time to see each other, hang out, get to know each other and hear from each other. When I write “relationships”, I am not referring just to romantic relationships, I include ALL relationships- family and friends as well.

How does a healthy relationship feel like? It feels peaceful, joyous, happy, exciting, comfortable and safe. With “safe” I mean that you feel you can be yourself with the person. If you ever feel like you need to walk on egg shells, you have to hide a certain side of you, uncomfortable or you are wondering whether the other person feels the same way as you, that is not healthy. It’s not healthy because anything that makes you wonder or feel like you can’t be yourself creates doubt within you. Those who belong in your life will NOT make you feel doubtful about yourself.

When you allow someone in your life who only wants to text you, not see you when they can, shows no effort to make you a part of their life, that can hurt your self-concept. It can make you feel unappreciated and unloved because all they are offering you are breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs are not healthy at all. They are void of nutrition, apart from the fact that they are not filling. So when someone is only texting you and not taking the time to see you and get to know you, you are missing nutrients such as love, appreciation, acceptance, feeling and being included in their life. All these are nutrients that we need in order to feel and be good. Remember that as human beings we have a need to be needed and loved.

You do NOT deserve breadcrumbs! You deserve and NEED the full meal with the appetizers, the entree, the dessert and all that comes with a healthy, fulfilling meal! Remember that! Breadcrumbs are NEVER satisfying. When all you are accepting are breadcrumbs, you seriously need to question how you feel about yourself. You need to question what do you want out of that other person. You need to ask yourself what do you need. If a “friend” is only offering breadcrumbs, consider that an acquaintance, not a friend. Friendships are like a healthy meal- they are full and satisfying. If you don’t feel that way, it’s time to do some clean up when it comes to your social well-being. If a date is doing that with you, get rid of that s&%$ and move on! What that person is offering you has nothing to do with your value and all to do with what that person can offer which is NOTHING.

Breadcrumbing….it’s important to understand this concept so that you can know when someone is doing this to you. This is something to avoid accepting if you truly want great well-being. Remember, healthy meals are filling. Breadcrumbs….they are not filling at all!

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Importance of Saying “No”

You probably wouldn’t think that this has much to do with your well-being, however, “no” should be a part of your vocabulary in order to increase your well-being and this is what I will be discussing in this week’s post.

There is a Spanish saying that goes “Quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta” which means that if you try to get your arms around too much, you won’t be able to squeeze. In other words, if you try to do so much, you will get none done. There is only so much that anyone can do and the more you want, not only do you have to take breaks and stop for a moment, you have to say “no” to some things that can come your way.

Stress should be reserve for real emergencies- when a family member is ill, when you are ill, when there is an accident, etc.- not for every day stuff of life. Stressing because you are taking up on so much will only lead to illness and to frustration. It will take you out of alignment and won’t help you think straight.

I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again, it’s great to have goals, it’s great to want so much out of life. However, you don’t ever want to take yourself to the point where you break down. That does no good to anyone.

Saying “no” is about setting priorities. In order to achieve much, you need to set priorities first and then once those tasks are completed, move on to the next task. It’s not that certain things are not important to you, it’s just that in order for you to be able to complete that other project successfully, you first must complete the one you have at hand. Also, you must know what would make the most difference now and work on that first. This is another way to get more done- knowing what would make the most difference in your life if that task was completed.

Saying “no” is about setting your own boundaries. You set boundaries for yourself and for others. Your well-being must be a priority, first and foremost, and so when you say “no” to certain things, you are avoiding getting yourself into things that at the end will just drive you mentally crazy because it’s too much to do and physically exhausted because having so much to do does wear the body down.

Make saying “no” a part of your vocabulary. This is about you taking care of yourself, not taking on too much stuff than you can possibly handle at the moment and setting boundaries. Others may have their opinions in regards to your “no” and that’s ok. At the end of the day, it’s how you feel that matters most and you never want to take yourself to the point of a breakdown.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Know Your Limits and Respect Them

Last week and this week, so far, have been challenging weeks between flying a lot and finalizing my manuscript which I must say, I have high respect for editors because editing your own work even after your work has been edited is not easy. It can be challenging juggling many things at once. It is great to have many goals and if I were to list the ones I have at this moment, you would agree that they are a lot. The exhaustion I felt, my eyeballs hurting from all the reading as well as feeling stressed leads me to writing this post- it is important to know your limits and respect them.

No matter how many goals you may have, know that even though the sky indeed is the limit, because you are only human you have certain limits and it is important to respect them. It’s possible to achieve so much, it’s possible to get many things done but not all at once.

Remember that the more you want and do, the more you need to pause, relax, and have breaks. This is not about being lazy, not at all. This is about you not burning out. If you allow stress to get to you, in the end you will be no good. It is important to remember that no matter how many things you want to accomplish, you can only do what you can do and you still need to be proud of yourself for that.

We all have certain limits and this is because we are only humans, not machines. Even machines if they are pushed to the limit they break down. We all have certain limits because of time since we only have 24 hours in a day. We all have certain limits because of our body in the sense that you never want to push your body too far. The best way to not get burned out, not get yourself sick and not be overwhelmed is by knowing your limits and respecting them.

Your body will tell you when you are reaching your limit. If you feel terribly exhausted or even sick, you know you have reached your limit. If you are starting to feel angry and irritable, you are reaching your limit. If you are no longer enjoying what you are doing, you are reaching your limit. You will receive feedback when you are reaching your limit.

You respect your limits by mentally reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can. By still giving yourself a pat on the back for what you have accomplished during the day. You do this by taking breaks when needed and not being so hard on yourself when you didn’t accomplish a certain thing you wanted to accomplish that day. You respect your body when it is tired and give your body all it needs in order to keep itself strong. Remember that your body is your primary vehicle and if that isn’t working, nothing will work. Rome was not built in one day and so whatever it is that you are wanting to do will take time. You will always be a work in progress.

So far I respected my limits by sleeping as much as I needed since my sleep was a bit compromised. Since I enjoy cooking, I made myself some delicious meals. I remind myself that I am doing the best that I can even if I am unable to keep up with some of the things that I had in mind to do, like blog last week. I had to remind myself that I am only human and as such, I am not perfect and that’s ok. It’s ok not to be perfect and not doing things exactly as I said to myself that I would. This is the same that I encourage you to do.

Knowing your limits and respecting them is a must for your well-being. If you try to be superman or superwoman, you will find yourself all burned out real quick. It’s best to be like the tortoise and be slow but steady. That’s how you get further in life. This doesn’t mean laziness, let me clarify, this just means that you don’t burn yourself out trying to do so much all at once.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

What to Do When There Is No Closure

Closure is important for many reasons and we all need it when something has come to an end. Take for instance when it’s our time to go. The purpose of funerals is to provide some sense of closure by coming to the realization that the person is physically no longer on this earth however painful it may be. This same concept applies to everything in life and this indeed affects your well-being.

When something has come to an end, whatever that may be, closure is a must. It is a must to have that final moment or words that will help you mentally and emotionally come to terms with what has occurred. Whether that is a breakup of a marriage,  boyfriend/girlfriend, friendship, job loss, etc. it is that closure that eventually helps you move on. Perhaps at the moment you may not be happy with the closure, even if one was provided to you, but eventually you will see the blessing that it was.

There are moments though where there is no closure and that for some can be painful. It can be painful when someone breaks up with you with no concrete explanation. It can be painful when anything abruptly ends without any warning or reason. What must one do then? The answer is you have to provide yourself with your own closure.

Closure helps one move on. Unfortunately not everyone will have either the maturity or the strength to provide you with a decent closure that you need. It is in these cases when it is a must for you to provide your own closure. How so? At first it is only normal to play and replay everything that happened in order to figure out what went wrong or what you could have done differently. I can tell you for personal experience that although it may help in some cases, in these kinds of cases where the other person didn’t provide any warning, it’s not even worth your energy trying to analyze what went wrong.

As human beings we are flawed by nature. Each and every one of us carries a luggage. Some luggage may be very heavy, others are light. It is nice if someone is carrying a light backpack, wouldn’t that be nice?! The luggage/backpack that I am referring to is issues, we all have them. The key is to not have such huge issues that terribly interferes with our well-being and to always be willing to work on them. With this in mind, remember that 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. I will repeat this, 95% of the things that other people do have nothing to do with you. People respond, live and behave according to what they are thinking and how they view themselves. What others have to say about you, what they do and how they respond to certain things is none of your business.

With this said, there will be those who will behave and react in ways that we will never comprehend. As long as you know you have been honest, loving, caring, and all the positive things with the other person, if for whatever reason the other person behaves in a way that makes you feel hurt, know that those who don’t belong in your life have to leave your life. Anyone who doesn’t value you as a person, value your friendship, value what you have to offer, YOU ARE SO LUCKY. Let me repeat, you are so lucky! It is a must for your well-being to stop allowing the lack of closure from others, their lack of vision, for lack of a better word to mean that they can’t see your value, and their behavior to hurt you to such a degree that a piece of you gets chipped.

Bless anyone who leaves your life, it’s your blessing not a curse! Feel grateful for anyone who does you wrong, they taught you a lesson and you know who they are and where they belong which is out of your life! Feel lucky for anyone who can’t see your value, they are already telling you they are not meant to be of any service in your life! Provide your own closure by knowing that you are the winner in any “misfortune”. Provide your own closure by knowing that you did good to the other person so your karma is good. Provide your own closure by knowing your value. It is a must for your well-being.

Closure is an essential part to one’s well-being because it confirms to us that something has ended. However, when closure is not provided to you or when the closure isn’t satisfying to you, it is a must that you provide yourself with your own closure by knowing your value, by knowing that you are ALWAYS the winner whenever anyone lets you go or whenever any door closes. Thank God for those who let you go and for those closed doors, they are leaving space for the right people and things to come your way.

You can read this blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Don’t Use That Crutch

My wish for this new year is for you to start the new year with a bam. It is my wish that you have a great year and have the best well-being ever. However, in order to have this, mentally and emotionally you must be right. It is for this reason that I start of this year by suggesting you not to use that crutch.

Crutches are for when one has an injury and needs to use a crutch in order to lean on to move forward or move anywhere. That is the ONLY time you should be using a crutch. Other than that all you will be doing is making yourself more handicap by continuously using something that you no longer need.

The key phrase in the word “crutch” is to lean on. I emphasize this because that is what we sometimes do in life- we use things or others as crutches in order to move on, making ourselves handicap. I’ve said before and I will continuously say and write that the worse handicap is the one of the mind. I would like to add that another kind of handicap which is just as bad is being emotionally handicapped but this I will reserve for another post. Having things or others as crutches is terribly detrimental to your overall well-being and this is what I will be discussing.

Using others as crutches is detrimental to your mental and emotional well-being. It makes you a slave of that other person by attaching some sort of value to the other person that can sometimes undermine your own value. This can make you not realize your own potential, your own capacity to get certain things done and you hinder yourself from seeing how much power you have. It is also detrimental to the relationship. It hurts the relationship because by using someone as a crutch, you accidentally become like a leech, sucking the life out of the other person. This kind of behavior makes you push others away unintentionally. There needs to be balance in a relationship and in order for there to be a healthy relationship, two people need to be whole. A relationship where one is a crutch means one person is not whole.

Using things as crutches, again, it makes you a slave to those things. Part of achieving a great well-being is not having any attachment to things. The best and healthiest attachment to have is with oneself. Again, just like using someone as a crutch hinders you from seeing your own power, so does using things as crutches. It is important to know that no one can help you move forward if you don’t move forward yourself.

Crutches, the wrong crutches I would like to emphasize, rob you of your power. They hinder you from seeing what you are made up of. They mentally and emotionally make you handicapped. In order to be whole you must release those crutches that you have been holding on to and know that it is YOU who makes your life happen.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez