The Grass Is Never Greener On the Other Side

I think as human beings it’s only normal to think that perhaps others have it better than us, that perhaps we can find someone better than the one we are currently seeing, etc. This kind of thinking although it may be natural to feel, it can prevent you from seeing all the good that is front of you. It is because of this that I would like to encourage you to see that the grass is never greener on the other side.

Don’t wait until something is lost for you to start valuing it. Remember that you currently have things that others would like to have. That may be the job that you have someone else may want. That can also be the relationship that you are currently in someone else would like to have a relationship like yours. Perhaps even a physical quality of yours someone else may want to have. Whatever it is, remember that you have something that someone else may want.

Also, your grass is as green as you make it. Perhaps other people’s grass looks greener because they are taking care of their own grass. So with this said, start taking care of what you currently have. Whatever it is that you see others have, why don’t you try your best to have that as well but just in a way that it’s unique to you. Start taking the steps necessary so that you can have the things that you want, the life that you want, the relationships that you want, the job that you want, etc.

I would like to encourage you to start seeing the wonderful things that you have in your life. Ask yourself: What can I be grateful for today? What do I have that is just great? What are some things about myself that are amazing? How can I improve the relationship I’m currently in? What are the aspects of this relationship that I love? What are some things that make my job great?

Asking yourself these questions will get your brain thinking and moving toward a more positive direction. Remember that your grass will be as green as you make it to be. Do your best to tend to your grass. Take care of it in every season so that it can look its best. Remember that in every aspect of your life, what you put in is what you get out. If you want your life to be as great as you want it to be, that is up to you to do the work that it takes. You have the power to make your grass as green as you want it to be and remember that just because other people’s grass is very green, doesn’t mean that it is greater and better than yours.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

When Is It Time To Say “Good-Bye”?

On Saturday I did something that was so hard for me to do. So hard that it made me really sad the whole day but I knew that for me it was the right thing to do. I had to say good-bye to a friendship that wasn’t serving me because I had to be honest with myself and know that I didn’t want his friendship since my feelings for him was not that of a friend but of something more.

You see, sometimes saying good-bye will be one of the hardest things to do because many times the right thing to do will not be the easiest thing to do. But I first want to discuss what this good-bye means and the positive side of this.

The two things that have to be above anything else is your self-love and your happiness. If anyone or anything doesn’t value you, doesn’t make you feel loved, appreciated, doesn’t add to your happiness, doesn’t add well-being to you, then it’s time to say good-bye. I don’t care how beautiful the person’s heart and mind may be, if that person doesn’t value your heart and mind, it’s time to pack that heart and mind of yours and say good-bye.

I want to discuss what well-being means. Well-being means love, happiness, fullness, appreciation, respect and value. The moment you are not appreciated, the moment you are ignored, the moment a relationship is not reciprocal, the moment a situation doesn’t add to your growth as a person, the moment someone doesn’t show the same enthusiasm you show when you write, call or see them….. then as hard as it is to admit it, it’s time to say good-bye. One thing I must add is that holding on to memories doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t add to your well-being. What matters is the present and the future and if something or someone isn’t adding to your present and future, then the past and memories don’t matter.

What good-bye in these situations represent is a releasing so that you can make space for things and people that want you just as much as you want them, space for things and people that are meant to be in your life, space for things and people that will add to your well-being rather than take away. Good-bye doesn’t mean losing, it’s important to remember that you can never lose something that was never yours to begin with. Good-bye means gaining: gaining back your happiness, gaining back your dignity, gaining back your power, gaining back space because it was being rented by things and people that no longer belong. Good-bye also means love. It means love because you are loving yourself so much to realize that something isn’t working for you that you are willing to release it no matter how much it may hurt.

Always remember these things: you will know when something or someone belongs in your life because you feel excitement. You feel that the people and situations want you just as much as you want them. The relationships that belong in your life are those that add happiness to you, make you feel appreciated, valued, they see your worth even when you don’t see your own worth, they add LIFE to you. Life is very short to be around things and people that don’t do these things for you. Always hold on to things and people that make you feel happy, full, accepted and valued and let go of those who don’t, no matter how wonderful they may be or seem. Remember, there is no worth in having people who are nice if they don’t value you and it’s not reciprocal.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

 

 

 

Get a Good Understanding of Who You Are

I am more and more convinced that absolutely nothing can be obtained if you first don’t have a good understanding of who you are. Your overall well-being depends on it and that’s what today’s post will be about.

Understanding who you are is crucial because that is the foundation. Without this understanding, you can’t possibly know who are the right people for you, the right friends for you, the right companion for you, the right career path, anything. It is this deep understanding that leads to breakthroughs in life, that leads to you attracting what you want and need and that leads to a fulfilling life.

So how can you get a better understanding of yourself? You do this by spending time with yourself. That’s right! You need some alone time with just yourself and nothing else influencing you. It is this time spent alone that will help you sit still with yourself so that you can connect with your inner self. It is crucial that you connect with your inner self because it is the only way to access your path.

Pay attention to the way you feel. Your emotions are feedback from yourself. They guide you and let you know where you are in life, what to avoid or do less of, what works for you and what doesn’t, etc. How do you feel when you are around certain people? This is not something to ignore, you have to pay attention to this. This will guide you as to the kinds of people you want and need in your life. How does the idea of having something or doing something feels like? This too is to pay attention to because this clues you in as to what you should consider doing.

Look back at your childhood. What were the things that you were passionate about then? Kids certainly know how to live life because they are grounded and they live in the present moment. They enjoy life and care about being happy. What were some of the things that made you happy as a child? These things will clue you in as to what you need to be doing more of.

Pay attention to your frustrations. That’s right. Your frustrations are key to understanding the kind of life that you need. I wrote an article about it for The Ziet that you can read https://the-ziet.com/2015/12/05/use-frustration-to-gain-happiness-the-benefits-of-frustration-and-how-this-leads-to-happiness/ and this is the link for you to click. Frustration is something to be embraced because without this, you wouldn’t know what to do less of.

Understand what your needs are. I discuss this in my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve because this is one key to getting your life together. Without knowing what your needs are, how are you supposed to have the life that you want?! There is no way around it.

Not knowing who you are is detrimental to your overall well-being and leads to unnecessary hurt and disappointments. It leads to all this because you will attract things and people that sooner or later you realize they are not for you. You end up wondering what happened and a lot of times, what happened was not having a good understanding of who you are to know what you can handle, what you can tolerate, etc. So if you haven’t taken the time to get to know yourself better, please do so. It is for your greater well-being as well as those around you because if you are happy, you have more happiness to offer to others.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Can’t Afford to Ignore the Signs

I’ve come to the realization that many times, we are the ones who unintentionally bring upon ourselves huge disappointments that cost us our peace, well-being and can sometimes, if we allow it, hinder us from moving forward. However, rest assure that at ALL and I mean at all times the universe provides signs to you as to whether or not something is for you and people do reveal to you who they truly are if you are open to it. Because our peace and well-being have no price, today I would like to emphasize to you that you can’t afford to ignore the signs.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs because your energy is the most precious thing you have. Your energy, and when I write this I mean your overall energy not just your physical energy, is one of your currencies. When your energy is not right, you can’t be your full self. When your energy is not right, you can’t attract the things and people you want. When your energy is not right, this will affect everything else in your life. If something or someone robs even a little bit of your energy, please take it as a sign that you must either walk or run to the other direction. The things and people that belong in your life bring peace and joy; they don’t rob you of your energy in any way.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs when someone is not compatible with you whether that is in love or any other relationship. But in order for you to recognize when this is the case, it is important to have a strong sense of who you are first. This is because unless you have a deep connection with yourself first in order to understand yourself, you won’t fully understand your needs and wants. You will lack the discernment to know when something is not right for you for whatever reason. Ignoring this kind of sign can lead to unnecessary hurt and disappointment that may take time to heal.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs even when something is right for you. It’s easy to be confused in the middle of hurt, disappointment, hearing other people’s voices, etc. If you really want to know if something is right for you, you have to be right and connected with yourself first. It all starts with and stems from you. Losing people or things that can be right for you can be regretful in the long run and quite frankly, a little too late. Make it a point to strive to be healthy and happy by choosing things and people who add to your happiness. People will show you who they truly are and it’s just a matter of opening your ears and eyes and taking in what is being presented to you.

You can’t afford to ignore the signs when a door is supposed to close shut. I know for personal experience this can be a challenge. Years later I end up realizing why that door needed to close and I ended up regretting even trying to open that door. When a door closes shut on you, (with this I’m referring to things not working out, or a job loss, or the end of a relationship, etc.), just believe and have faith that it was meant to close. Trust me that I know how hard this is, I know all too well but it’s important to know that you did nothing wrong for that to happen and that certain things are just not meant to be in your life for your own good.

If there is one thing that I would like for you to take away from this is that in order for you to have the capacity of not ignoring the signs that you are receiving, you first need to be deeply connected with yourself. It is from that deep connection that you will have the discernment that you need so that you don’t ignore the signs again.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Choose People Willing to Do the Inner Work

In today’s post, I want to discuss the importance of choosing people willing to do the inner work.

Healthy relationships start with you. When I write the word “relationships”, I mean any close interaction you have with another human being so this includes friendships, family members, and romantic relationships. How and why does a healthy relationship start with you? Because first you have to be right with you. You have to love yourself. You have to love life. You have to see your own potential. You have to see your own beauty. You have to see your own value. You need to be willing to do your inner work. Once all this is in place, then you choose based on that.

So say for example, if you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, without realizing it, you most likely will choose people that they are unhealthy themselves. A person with an unhealthy relationship with themselves won’t be able to choose people that are right for them either because deep down inside they don’t feel deserving of healthy love, etc. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you are quick to notice when something isn’t right for you and you let it go. This is why it is crucial that you are right with you first.

Just as it is important that you do your inner work, it is important that you choose people willing to do the inner work themselves. This is because people who are not right with themselves don’t have much to offer. We can only offer what we have. So someone who is afraid to make certain decisions and is afraid of happiness will only give fear to you. This means that if you try to engage in a relationship with them, they will confuse you to death because their actions will be that they will push you away or do something that turns you off, etc.

It is only when you are clear in who you are, what you want, on your value and what you deserve that you will get what you want and more. It is then when you can engage in healthy relationships with others, when you can feel great about your life, then attracting more great things into your life and have more to offer to others.

You can tell when someone is willing to do the inner work. How can you tell? Well, let me start off by stating the signs of someone not willing to do the inner work. The first sign is that they live in fear. They are afraid to be happy so they push people away. They have commitment issues that they are not willing to resolve. They are very judgmental of others for silly things. They always find fault in others. They choose to be in relationships or situations that don’t make them happy. They constantly talk about problems. You feel heaviness the moment you are with them. The list can go on. The point is that you end up wondering what happened, is there something wrong with you, your energy shifts for the worse and so on. None of this is good!

Doing the inner work requires one to be willing to look within themselves and work through any issues they may have. It requires one to challenge their limiting beliefs. It requires seeking help should one need help. It requires to notice the patterns in the choices one makes and then be willing to take responsibility for the role they played. Doing the inner work is not easy because of all the emotions that will resurface but it is necessary in order to uncover the things that are holding you back.

Be willing to choose people who are willing to do the inner work because doing so will lead to healthy relationships in which you yourself can blossom as a person. Because you deserve to be loved exactly for who you are; because you deserve to be fully happy; because you deserve a great life, you need to be the first one to be willing to do the inner work so you can then choose someone willing to do the same. You owe this to yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

Who You Are and How You Live Matters!

If at any moment in your life you felt that who you are and how your live your life doesn’t matter or if you know anyone who may feel this way, then this is the post to read. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that who you are doesn’t matter. I am here today to encourage you to stop thinking that how you live your life doesn’t matter because it does!

Whether you realize it or not, you impact others. I am pretty sure you have friends and family. Even if you don’t have much friends, you still impact those you do have. Everything we do and say set an example to others. There are people who look up to you and love you. There are people who are concern for you. And certainly the world needs you!

It doesn’t matter how you look nor how you are. It doesn’t matter what your tastes are. It doesn’t matter what you are good at and what you are not good at, all the things that make up who you are make you unique and you were created this way because someone else needs you exactly the way you are. How do they need you? It depends, people can need you in different ways. Perhaps you are meant to set an example for others. Perhaps you are meant to greatly influence others. Perhaps you are meant to inspire others. Whatever those reasons are, you are created with a purpose.

One thing I want to add is that you will be rejected by others. Why do I need to write this? Because rejection is one of the reasons why some may feel inadequate because none of us like rejection. However, if we can reframe that rejection into something else, we will see the beauty in that rejection. As a matter of fact, I want to encourage you to embrace rejection. That’s right! Gosh rejection is beautiful! You don’t want everything and anything that comes your way! It’s important to make room for more wonderful things and people in your life. This is why rejection is so beautiful- it makes room for better people and better opportunities!

When you are true to who you are and when you live your life fully according to the real you, you are actually giving others permission to do the same. That’s right! This is because it is so refreshing to be around people who are true to themselves and there is something about us living fully that resonates with others. That’s because all of us by nature crave to live fully and crave to be our true selves without caring about what others think nor feel. Living your life fully gives others freedom- the freedom to do the same and the freedom to not have to worry about you.

Since I wrote “the freedom to not have to worry about you”, I need to emphasize that not living your life fully and not being who you truly are, you are actually being a burden to others. That burden that you place on them without realizing will make others want to be away from you because indeed it is not freeing to be around someone who is negative towards themselves and not helping themselves.

I want to encourage you to know that who you are and how you live your life matters. Remember that it doesn’t matter who you are, what you do for a living, how many friends you have (it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality), if you are currently single or married, etc., you do influence others. Your life has an impact on others that creates ripple effects. To not think this, I believe, is very selfish from your part because you are not considering how your actions nor who you are affect others and you are denying others of the gift of you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

The Ingredients For Healthy Relationships

I had a conversation a few days ago with a good friend of mine and we were talking about what makes a healthy relationship. It seems as though nowadays there is so much confusion about how one needs to be, how to properly communicate and there is so many question marks on people’s mind and all this is so unnecessary. So today’s post will be about the ingredients for healthy relationships because relationships do play an important role on our well-being.

You need healthy relationships and this includes your relationship with your family and friends and in romantic relationships. All the ingredients discussed in this post apply to all kinds of relationships.

First ingredient is maturity. It takes maturity to have a healthy relationship. Before I write what I mean with “maturity”, I will first write what teenagers do that adults should be way passed that stage. Teenagers or people who are not mature enough just text important discussions. This is a big no no because so much can be misunderstood through texts. Texting important discussions is a way to avoid what is going on and only teenagers or immature people do that. Mature people have either face to face or over the phone discussions. Why? Because it is important to confront situations head on in order to gain clarity and avoid hard feelings. Teenagers and immature people blame rather than understand their role in the situation. It takes maturity to admit that you too played a role in what happened in a situation and to take ownership for how the relationship goes. So what I mean with maturity is that one puts aside childish ways in order to be a grown adult. You can’t have healthy relationships with childish ways.

Second ingredient is communication. Healthy relationships require effective communication. This includes saying how one feels and listening to the other person. When I write “listen”, I don’t mean “hear”. Hearing is the mechanical aspect of what the ears do. Listening requires you to put aside what you are feeling and thinking and try to understand what the other person is saying so you can understand where they are coming from. It’s important to state clearly how you feel and what your intentions are. It’s important to be straight forward. It’s important as we get older to always make it a goal to be better in communication.

Third ingredient is honesty. Healthy relationships require that both parties are first and foremost honest with themselves and then with others. Honesty may not always be easy. It’s easy to want to lie to oneself for whatever the reason may be, either because of fear of the outcome, beliefs that we have told ourselves, etc. For two people to be on the same page, it is a must to first be honest with yourself and then with others. You deserve your own honesty and others deserve your honesty as well. Many friendships and relationships are severed because of this.

Fourth ingredient is confrontation. Healthy relationships confront with one another. It is unfortunate that the word “confrontation” has such a negative connotation but the reality is that how are two people supposed to be on the same page if they don’t confront?! Confrontation simply means two or more people coming together to discuss something. This requires maturity which is why I listed maturity as the first ingredient.

I’m sure there are more things that are required in order to have healthy relationships but for the sake of this blog, I am only including four of the ingredients that I consider to be the main ingredients for a healthy relationship.

If there is any relationship that you care about that you feel is not as healthy as you need it to be, I would like to encourage you to consider if any of these ingredients mentioned in today’s post is lacking and do your part to include this into that relationship. It takes all parties involved to make a healthy relationship, this means that this includes you.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.