Choose People Willing to Do the Inner Work

In today’s post, I want to discuss the importance of choosing people willing to do the inner work.

Healthy relationships start with you. When I write the word “relationships”, I mean any close interaction you have with another human being so this includes friendships, family members, and romantic relationships. How and why does a healthy relationship start with you? Because first you have to be right with you. You have to love yourself. You have to love life. You have to see your own potential. You have to see your own beauty. You have to see your own value. You need to be willing to do your inner work. Once all this is in place, then you choose based on that.

So say for example, if you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, without realizing it, you most likely will choose people that they are unhealthy themselves. A person with an unhealthy relationship with themselves won’t be able to choose people that are right for them either because deep down inside they don’t feel deserving of healthy love, etc. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you are quick to notice when something isn’t right for you and you let it go. This is why it is crucial that you are right with you first.

Just as it is important that you do your inner work, it is important that you choose people willing to do the inner work themselves. This is because people who are not right with themselves don’t have much to offer. We can only offer what we have. So someone who is afraid to make certain decisions and is afraid of happiness will only give fear to you. This means that if you try to engage in a relationship with them, they will confuse you to death because their actions will be that they will push you away or do something that turns you off, etc.

It is only when you are clear in who you are, what you want, on your value and what you deserve that you will get what you want and more. It is then when you can engage in healthy relationships with others, when you can feel great about your life, then attracting more great things into your life and have more to offer to others.

You can tell when someone is willing to do the inner work. How can you tell? Well, let me start off by stating the signs of someone not willing to do the inner work. The first sign is that they live in fear. They are afraid to be happy so they push people away. They have commitment issues that they are not willing to resolve. They are very judgmental of others for silly things. They always find fault in others. They choose to be in relationships or situations that don’t make them happy. They constantly talk about problems. You feel heaviness the moment you are with them. The list can go on. The point is that you end up wondering what happened, is there something wrong with you, your energy shifts for the worse and so on. None of this is good!

Doing the inner work requires one to be willing to look within themselves and work through any issues they may have. It requires one to challenge their limiting beliefs. It requires seeking help should one need help. It requires to notice the patterns in the choices one makes and then be willing to take responsibility for the role they played. Doing the inner work is not easy because of all the emotions that will resurface but it is necessary in order to uncover the things that are holding you back.

Be willing to choose people who are willing to do the inner work because doing so will lead to healthy relationships in which you yourself can blossom as a person. Because you deserve to be loved exactly for who you are; because you deserve to be fully happy; because you deserve a great life, you need to be the first one to be willing to do the inner work so you can then choose someone willing to do the same. You owe this to yourself.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Are Where You Are Because That’s Where You Want to Be

Today’s post may be a hard one to digest for many. I know it has been and sometimes still is for me. Today’s post is about how you are where you are because that’s where you want to be.

Why can this be a hard one to digest for many? Because many times it is hard to admit that the reason why we are where we are in life is because that’s where we chose to be. “But Aura, this life that I’m currently living is not what I chose for myself?! All these things just happened to me!” Well, some situations may have occurred but in order for your life to change, in order for you to increase in well-being, it is a must to take responsibility for your life. Just like I’ve mentioned in my speeches, not doing so is like sitting on the passenger seat watching your whole life go by while allowing something or someone else to determine how your life will be. This is why in the book, Creating a Lifetime of Wellness, I encourage readers to take responsibility of their life.

Think about this for a moment, you are making choices every single day. Whether you like your choices or not is a different story but you indeed are making choices that all either add or delete from your well-being. The relationships that you have or the lack of relationships….your choice. The job or career you have…your choice. Your health…your choice. And even if you are predisposed to certain illnesses, and this will be another topic because I do believe that we are not our genes, it is your choice to decide how you will be health-wise. Everything is a choice!

So if you find yourself in a relationship you are not happy with, you are where you are because that’s where you want to be. If you find yourself that you are not happy with your health, remember that you have a choice as to what to do with your health and you can decide if you want to be healthy or not. Believe it or not, most of the things that you have and where you are, you are where you are because that’s exactly where you want to be.

If for whatever reason you are not happy where you are at the moment, then you seriously need to question why you are not happy. What needs to happen in order for things to be different? What can you do now to change your current situation? What actions do you need to take in order for things to flow the way you want them to flow? What do you want out of life?

Remember that you are the one in control of your life and of what you have. You have what you have because that’s what you want to have. You are where you are because that’s where you want to be. Complaining doesn’t serve unless if it is just to let out of your chest what you feel but this doesn’t change anything. What changes things is taking action. So if you want and need things to be different, then you must take action.

If you love the blog, you will most certainly love my latest book Creating a Lifetime of Wellness: Start Having the Life You Deserve where I discuss topics that highly impact your well-being that perhaps you may not be aware of. You can purchase your copy on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Creating-Lifetime-Wellness-Aura-Martinez/dp/1458220885/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490999433&sr=8-1&keywords=creating+a+lifetime+of+wellness or on Barnes and Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/creating-a-lifetime-of-wellness-aura-e-martinez/1126001153?ean=9781458220882.

You can also read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

How To Get Energy When You Feel Emotionally Exhausted

There are times in your life when you feel physically exhausted but not because you have worked too hard or because you haven’t slept well, but because perhaps you are going through some either inner conflict or you are going through a rough time in your life that is robbing your energy emotionally. I think this kind of exhaustion is one of the worst kinds because if you are not careful, you can slip down and maybe even fall into depression. When feeling this way, how can you find the energy to keep going?

First thing I believe is to acknowledge what you are feeling. I believe that denying what you are feeling is not helpful nor conducive to truly moving forward. By denying what you are feeling it’s like trying to make believe that the wound that you have isn’t even there yet it is bleeding and needs your attention.

Try to understand where this feeling is coming from. Ask yourself what can you learn from what you are feeling. I believe there is always something to learn from everything whether it is good or bad. Every experience is a chance to become a better person and understanding where your hurt is coming from can provide important insight to you that can open up the opportunity for healing. The way to heal something is by understanding what is causing the pain/hurt.

Take things day by day, minute by minute. Just try to take one step at a time, put one foot in front of the other.

As hard as it may be to find the positive in even the most negative moments of life, it is a must to find the positive in everything. What focusing on the negative does is that it magnifies the bad things which then affects your emotions which will then affect your energy levels. Think about this, anything you dread to do, anything you don’t feel excited about doing will deplete your energy. By focusing on the positive, you are shifting your mindset which will then shift your energy- energy that you need to keep going even when the going gets tough.

It would be wonderful if there was an easy answer, a magic pill that would give us all the emotional energy we need when the going gets tough. The truth is that there is no such thing but there is one person who has the capacity to give you that emotional energy you need and that is YOU. With your acceptance of your feelings, with your own compassion towards yourself, with you doing your best to heal your wounds and see the positive in everything, you have the power to get the emotional energy that you need. I’ve said and written over and over again, well-being is something to work on everyday. It is something that you cultivate, nurture and create. It is YOU who have this power.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at https://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.

You Will Always Be a Work-In-Progress….

I think this post can be applied to anyone but this especially goes to all those who tend to be a perfectionist like me since perfectionists tend to be a little more harsh on themselves.

There are times where you will be so far from perfect. This in itself can ignite feelings of anger, guilt, worry and even disappointment. I think the best way to combat this is by reminding yourself that for as long as you live, you will always be a work-in-progress.

None of us are perfect and there will be issues that we need to resolve within ourselves because we’re human. It’s only normal to have our issues and the most important part of this is taking steps every day in order to solve those issues. Because one may have unresolved issues or one may do things that makes them far from perfect, part of well-being is to do our best to be bigger than that issue or whatever it is that we feel bad that we did wrong and come to peace with whatever happened and to grow from it.

When you remind yourself that you are a work-in-progress, you relieve that pressure to be perfect. That relief of pressure makes you free to be your true self, whatever that self may be. When you are your true self, you are your most happiest version because there is nothing like you being who you truly are.

When you remind yourself that you are a work-in-progress, you allow yourself room for growth. How so? When you know you are a work-in-progress, you know that there is more growth to come. This knowing makes you expect great changes while at the same time embracing who you are at the moment. When you know this, you know that who you are now is yet to evolve into something better. It’s the knowing that you are under construction in a very good way.

Just like when something is under construction the area may not look so nice because of course, there are repairs and tears on the place, so will you have repairs that needs to get done and tears because certain things will need to be broken down in order to be rebuild. Growth requires changes and some of those changes may mean that there will be some tearing down of certain things within you and there is nothing wrong with that. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means that a better version of you will emerge as a result.

Knowing that you are a work-in-progress is so important to your well-being because it prevents you from being too hard on yourself when you are not your best you for whatever reason. It helps you to be more compassionate and empathetic with yourself. This helps you take better care of yourself by being the kind of friend that you would be for someone else who is hard on themselves, only that you are being this friend to yourself. So with this post, I encourage you to remind yourself…you will always be a work-in-progress.

You can read the blog on your Kindle by clicking on the Amazon Kindle store at http://www.amazon.com/Live-MaxTM-Viva-al-m%C3%A1ximoTM/dp/B00NK1JOJ4 and you can listen to my online radio show at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez.